Happenstance (9 page)

“Oh, are you Latina?”
What
the fuck does she care?

Jared clears his throat, “Alright, Lisa. I think you have what
you need. If you have any questions just give us a call.”

Lisa pouts. The woman actually pouts. It’s disgusting. “Oh, can’t
I call you directly? I do still have your number you know.” I can feel Jared’s
eyes on me but I pretend to be busy reading a vaccination poster.

Where the heck is Annette
with the damn dog?

“I’m sure you do but the office is fine,” he answers.

“Well maybe later we can do dinner or something, grab some
drinks.”

Excuse me while I try not to vomit in my mouth. I’m not
stupid,
I recognize this feeling—jealousy. I’m just annoyed
with myself because I don’t know why I’m feeling this emotion. I am nothing to
him and he is nothing to me.

“No, I don’t think so.” This should please me but it doesn’t, I’m
so pissed I can feel the heat on my face.

Annette finally walks out with the dog and a smirk. I could win a
bet that she took her time because she was eavesdropping on the other side of
that door.

“Hey baby boy,” I smile and grab my new friend, cradling him and
checking out his paws.

“Victoria, can I speak to you for a minute?” I can’t handle him
right now; I have to get out of here. I make myself look at him.

“He doesn’t need anything right?
Any
medication?”
I ask.

“No, he’s all good it’s just—”

“Ok, I’m in a bit of a rush so I’ll just see myself out. See
ya
later,
Dr. Owens
.”
I walk out the door practically hitting another client who is walking in. Shit,
I shouldn’t have stretched out his name. Now they’ll all know I’m annoyed.

“V! Wait up!” Jared calls out after me.
Just keep walking and maybe he’ll go away.

He catches up to me. Damn him.

“Hey,” he pulls on my elbow gently. “You ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I scratch Lucky behind the ears to control
my fingers and look up at him. I can do this, I
cannot
care.

“Are you upset?
Because there is nothing going
on between Lisa and me.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh Jared, please, you don’t need to explain
anything to me. I know what this is.” I laugh but even I can tell it sounds
forced.
Focus V
.

“What
what
is?”

I gesture with my right hand between the both of us. “This. What
we have—had. It’s just casual. I’m not going to say anything to your other
girls.”

“No, Victoria, you
don’t
get it. There
are
no other girls,
there’s no one. I’m telling you the truth.”

I shrug but my stomach is churning. Maybe I can just throw up
when I get home. “Whatever. It’s fine.” I turn around and continue walking to
my car with Jared right on my heel.

“Well I was hoping you’d get here later so we could grab dinner
when I get off.” Oh yeah, I’m sure that is
exactly
why he wanted me there later.

“No, I’m good. I’m just going to eat at home. I have some lesson
plans to prepare for the next few days.”

Truth is, I have the whole first two months of lesson plans
mapped out but I am not going to tell him that. “Bye Jared,” I say and get in
my car.

“I’ll call you later.”

But I barely acknowledge him. I can fly with my own wings.

In fact, I ignore his calls and texts for the remainder of the
evening.

~

With twenty minutes to inhale our food, Maggie and I
sit in the corner of the lunch room to catch up on the first week of work but
the conversation soon turns into my social life.

“I’m not sure what the big deal is, you should call him back.”

“I will. I just need to distance myself a bit. I’m going out with
Steven tomorrow night.”

“Yeah but what if you give this guy too much distance and he ends
up with Blonde Barbie?”

I take a forkful of food in my mouth to refrain from answering
her. Just the thought of it makes me sour. I frown and twirl my necklace. Why
do I even have to care?

“Then, that’s his decision. What can I do? All we had was casual
sex. He’s probably getting more casual sex with her and God knows who else.”

 
“Look at you; you’re all
worked up about it. I know it isn’t just some casual sex. It’s not you,” she
says exasperated.

“Didn’t you tell me to hit it and quit it? ‘Go out there, get
laid,’ etc., etc. Well, now that’s how it is.” I snap at her. Everyone telling
me how to act or think is getting on my damn nerves. Maggie doesn’t say
anything and the bell rings, saving us both.

~

I meet Steven up for drinks at a bar downtown, just a
few blocks away from where Jared has taken me. He looks really good and is as
smooth as usual.

“I just can’t believe how draining it’s been to handle all these
kids. I’m on my feet all day and exhausted by the time I get home. At 4:00!” I
whine.

“With those big heels on all day, I can imagine what it does to
your pretty legs,” he says.

“Oh, no, trust me I learned that on my first day. No more heels
for this teacher. Not during work hours!” I shake my head adamantly.

He laughs. “That sounds good to me. Don’t want any of these
single dads sweeping you away from me.”

I don’t know about any single dads, but there is this one
veterinarian who invades my thoughts.
No,
I will not go there tonight.
Tonight, I’m going to have some fun.

After just a couple of hours, I find that I’m relaxed.
Very
relaxed.
Steven is charming, funny, and laughs at all the right moments. The drinks keep
pouring in and I’m feeling comfortable and get a nice buzz going on.

“Another round?” he asks, holding up his shot glass.

“Yeah!”
We clink glasses and take a
shot. But another round turns into another and a few more after that. At some
point, I don’t even know what I’m having.

“What is this again?” I lean forward and squint at my glass,
because it’s starting to get fuzzy.

“A Wet Pussy,” he says.

“What!” I laugh.
“Liar!”

“No, I swear. That’s what it’s called!”

“Sounds like my kind of drink. That’s something I definitely want
to have!” I belt out a loud laugh.

“I can arrange that a.s.a.p.,” he whispers in my ear. I lean
against him and give him a peck on the neck. My legs are suddenly really heavy
and I can feel the blisters from earlier that week come back.

“My feet hurt.
Time to take off my shoes.”

I bend down to remove the straps and almost topple over.
Why are my feet so far away?
“Alright, sexy.
I think it’s time to take you home,” he says
wrapping my arm over his shoulder to steady me.

“Home!
But it’s so early!” I pout. I
wonder if I look as hot as Blondie when I pout. “I want more shots.
Lots and lots of ’
em
!”

Steven laughs. “Ok, I’ll get you more at the after party.”

“There’s another party? I love parties. Are we going to dance?” I
ask him. We are walking now, but I grab his arm so he can twirl me like a
ballerina. That doesn’t work out to well so instead, I try very hard to focus
on the walkway in front of me.

“Yeah, sure we’ll dance alright.” He doesn’t sound so convincing
but he says we will so he must be right, I can’t wait to go to the next party.
Maybe Jared will be at the party . . .

Spinning.
Lights.
Darkness.
Why is everything so blurry? All the colors moving
so fast, can’t things just stay in place?
“Are we in place?” I ask him.
That doesn’t sound right. Who am I with? Oh
yes, Steven. He is really looking cute.
I
do like him but there is something off, he just doesn’t give me the same
feelings Jared does.

“We’re getting to your house sexy,” Steven says.

“My house, oh we can’t go to my house. You’re a stranger.” I
giggle. “Jared was a stranger too.”

“Oh yeah?
Lucky Jared and soon lucky me,”
he says.

“Lucky!” I gasp and place my hand to my chest. “I
love
Lucky, he is so cute!”

“Come on sexy, lean on me. I’ll walk you to your door. Which one
is it again?”

“I’m not sure. Oh, I remember!
Number
one-two-sex.”
I laugh at my joke and it’s pretty funny. “I mean six!”

He laughs as well. He always laughs at all the right moments. He
has a nice laugh too. “I like the sex part.”

“So do
I
! I love sex parts!”

“I’ll bet you do,” he gives me a wink. Something feels off
though. Something is wrong. What is it? He has my keys in his hand and opens my
door. “Where is your car?” I ask him.

“You couldn’t drive; my buddy here drove my car while I took
yours.” I turn around and see a tall guy wearing a Boston Red Sox hat looking
over at us from the parking lot. Why is there only one guy?

“Is he coming to the after party?”

“Oh, no, sexy, this is a private party.”

Bummer.
I want more people.
And
to dance.
And have more shots.
He gently shoves me inside and the
room starts spinning.

Kissing.
Laughing.
Zippers.
More darkness.
Is it always
this dark in parties? I am lying on my back and a shadow peeks out above my
knee.

“Hey, what are you doing
down there?” I ask Steven who is on his knees pulling down my skirt.

“Just
taking care of you sexy.”

“Steven, I don’t want this
now. I want dancing.” I pout again. Maybe the pouting trick works.

“Sure, we can dance next
time. I’ll take you somewhere else.” He pulls off his shirt and starts removing
his belt.

“Steven, NO,
take
me dancing. No sexy time.” I raise my head up, but it’s
so damn heavy. How much does a head weigh anyways? I must have the heaviest
head in the world. Soon he is on top of me, kissing me. Hot, quick kisses that
taste of liquor. I try to lift my hands and push him away, but my efforts are
futile. Suddenly he is inside of me. Hadn’t I just said no? And why does it
hurt? His cock is rubbing against my skin in a way I don’t like. Of course, I’m
not even wet! Does he not care about getting me ready? Jared would have. Jared
is soft and gentle. I exhale and look over to my right when I feel hot breath
against my neck. I can make out a red Boston Red Sox logo before my eyes close,
my thoughts are on Jared before I black out.

Chapter Nine

September 2011

Victoria

Never wearing high heels to work? Check. Never ever
drinking again with strangers? Check, check. These are the thoughts invading my
mind the next morning as I hurl into the toilet for the third time eliminating
all toxins in my body. My head is pounding; I look like shit and feel like shit
too. Waking up at the ass crack of dawn, looking like a stripper with a
wrinkled top, no skirt or panties, and high heels is not exactly what I had
planned.
More hurling.
Just fucking
great.

“Just taking care of you sexy.”

I hurl into the toilet while holding my head in between my head.
The tears are falling and start to get mixed in with the saliva around my
mouth. I get some toilet paper so I could wipe my mouth. I’m disgusting. Why
would anyone want to work it out with me? It’s no wonder Eric left and Jared is
with that blond bitch.

I take a shower and scrub my skin. My feet hurt again as I stand
up but I don’t care this time. This pain I deserve to feel for being a damn
fool. Why did I give him a chance?

“Yeah I mean, I can tell you’d fit right in with my family.”

What an asshole. And I’m such a loser.

The water is cold by the time I’m done and get back in bed, but
only toss and turn for hours, replaying the previous night in my head. What I
can remember. The television is on and even though I am looking at the screen,
I don’t hear the words. Then the phone rings, it’s Jared. I let it go to
voicemail. He called me three times last night but I haven’t wanted to talk to
him. The phone rings again, I let it go to voicemail. He’d know. He’d know what
happened and how stupid I am.
And then what?
To hear his disgust?
No thanks.

When I go out to walk the dog I glance around the parking lot but
don’t see anyone I recognize. I know I probably won’t but I can’t shake the
ghost feeling of the Boston Red Sox guy standing in the street, looking at me,
waiting for his turn. I heave into the bushes but nothing comes up. I’ve gotten
rid of everything, yet gotten rid of nothing. I go back in the house to take a
shower and rub myself till my skin is pink.

When I walk out of the shower someone is knocking on the door.
The dog is barking but I’m paralyzed by the bathroom door. I hear my phone
ringing and I make myself walk over to pick it up. It’s Jared. Is he the one
outside or . . . Suddenly I can’t wait to see him. I run to the door and fling
it open.

“Hi,” I say my voice hoarse.

His eyes widen and I know I look like shit. I swallow. Please
don’t make me cry.

“Hey stranger,” his voice fills my eyes with tears. I swallow,
again.

“What’s wrong baby?” He asks. A tear escapes my eyes and I
quickly wipe it away. Fuck.

“Nothing” I whisper. Everything, I think.

“You don’t look too good.” He’s cautious. He hasn’t even tried to
move an inch. Probably wondering why the hell he’s here and how fast can he
leave? I’ll make it easy on him.

“So you’re saying I look like shit? You can leave.” I want to
snap at him but my voice is deadpan. It’s hard enough not to crack.