Happily Ever After: The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart (11 page)

Just as Ryan did for me, create a list for your partner of the many reasons you love him or her. Start it with “I love you because . . .” and let the words
flow onto the paper. Believe me, your partner will appreciate every single one.

Schedule date nights. I married my husband because he’s my favorite person on earth. What’s better than giving back to myself (and hopefully to him) by sharing a night with the person I chose to share my life with?

If date night is a good idea, then date weekend is even better, right? Plan a getaway to a nearby town, or even a weekend stay at a local hotel. Go visit friends, see the sights of a town you’ve always had on your bucket list, or just get a change of scenery. The resultant positive change in your relationship will be worth it.

Stockpile greeting cards. Go through your stash on a day that is in threat of never being remembered or one that will be remembered for all bad reasons. After writing sweet nothings in the card, put it in a spot your honey won’t be able to miss. Think computer screen or bathroom sink or refrigerator. You may just turn that day into one of the best ever.

There’s no time like the present to learn from the lessons of the past. Think of the significant relationships from your life and list five things you learned from them to better yourself from here on out. Understanding the reason for an ending can give you a greater vision of how to create new beginnings and better forevers.

Tiny Humans with Big Hearts

Never fear spoiling children by making them too happy. Happiness is the atmosphere in which all good affections grow.

—T
HOMAS
B
RAY

CHAPTER FOUR

A
S A YOUNG GIRL
, I
PRAYED THAT
G
OD WOULD BLESS
me with the gift of becoming a mother one day. I dreamed about the joys of motherhood and experiencing the unconditional love I knew I would have for my own flesh and blood. Later in life, when I learned I was pregnant and those prayers would soon be answered, I started saying new prayers. First and foremost was for God to bless me with a healthy child. Next on the long list of hopes for my baby were the qualities of respect, happiness, curiosity, creativity, humor, faith, intelligence, courage, kindness, confidence, and last but certainly not least . . . gratitude.

I realize that it is my job as a parent to provide a good example, but I definitely have bad days where I lose my cool after stepping in the “presents” that our Yorkie leaves on the carpet, get in an awful argument with my husband, or, even worse, learn that my eighty-nine-year-old grandmother, Rose, has been admitted to the hospital again. As much as I want to stay down in the dumps in those moments, for the sake of my family, I change my socks, wipe away my tears, and try not to dwell on them. I want my kids to do the same.

When Max and Blakesley were each about two years old, we started a bedtime routine of saying prayers. Every night,
the prayers start out the same: “Thank you for today.” As the German philosopher Meister Eckhart once said, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” I personally have a strong belief that God has a plan for us, and we should recognize the incredible blessing we’ve been given of experiencing another day on earth—good, bad, or indifferent. As a parent, I will encourage my kids to make their own decisions when it comes to their religious beliefs, but I truly hope, whatever they end up believing, that they embrace the idea of expressing gratitude to a higher power through a daily acknowledgment of thanks.

I realize that four- and six-year-olds can’t properly grasp the idea of a grand scheme of the universe. I do hope that by placing nuggets of optimism in their minds, though, that at the very least they will be more likely to have sweet dreams.

Happy thoughts beget a happy existence. Even in moments of sorrow and grief, gratitude brings positive thoughts to the forefront of your consciousness.

I have many goals as a parent, but my highest priority is doing everything I can to ensure that my kids’ worlds are bursting with joy. Sometimes I do it by making silly faces or dancing like I have ants in my pants, but if I go one step further and help them find a way to be grateful for anything that gives them a glimmer of a smile, I know I have truly succeeded.