Happily Ever All-Star: A Secret Baby Romance (100 page)

S
hit
. Shit. Shit.

I collided with a wheelchair in the hall and bashed it into the wall.

“Sorry!” I shouted to the nurses. Damn it, they looked pissed. “I’ll pay for any damages!”

If they could catch me.

Pretty sure I had never run this fast in my fucking life. At least dodging orderlies was like escaping linebackers. I leapt onto the gurney, surfed it a couple feet, and chucked it away as I rounded the corner.

Room 221.

Bast’s room.

Oh Christ.

How the fuck did something like this happen? He was only
six
. How did an appendix go bad at
six
? What kind of shit organs did I breed into him?

“I’m coming Bast!” I shouted, hoping he could hear me.

Pretty sure everyone could hear me.

I had been calling for him since the instant I burst into the hospital. The elevators were too slow, and I pounced up the stairs three at a time. Fell once and busted my knee. That’d hurt later, no doubt.

Two nurses blocked my path—tiny blonde things, scowling and pushing up their sleeves.
Uh-oh.
I slowed, but I held my hands out.

“Ladies, look.” I struggled to catch my breath. “There’s a little boy in there I gotta see.”

“Sir, this is a
hospital
.”

“I know! That’s why they brought him here!” I wasn’t about to pass-block these women, but I scooted through. At least if they touched
my
ass, I’d get in less trouble. “Just let me see him.”

“Sir, you’re causing a scene. We’ve called security.”

Fuck. No time for that. I twisted and dodged their grip.

“Look, I have to get to him!”

“Sir, please. Immediate family
only!
”

Immediate family? My teeth set on edge. I busted through their line as they grabbed me and raced into the room.

“Let me through—I’m his
father!
”

The room silenced.

My mother face-palmed in the corner.

A doctor turned, reading from his chart as a nurse tended to Sebastian.

Bas sat perfectly content in his bed, shirt off, a big smiley face drawn on his belly to mark where the surgeon would do the laparoscopic work.

Bast frowned. “Lachlan! My ‘
pendix
is busted. You’re my father?”

Oh. Fuck. Me.

I groaned. Mom called off the nurses and forced me into the room. “Lachlan Maxwell Reed, sit down before you bring this whole hospital down. Bast is going to be fine. No need to
worry him
.”

A nurse prepped my son for surgery. I ran my hands through my hair. Mom pushed me into a seat.

“Just behave, for Pete’s sake,” she said. “Bast doesn’t want all this fuss.”

“Sorry, little man,” I said. “You okay? Are you hurting?”

“Not anymore. They’re taking my ‘
pendix
out! But I don’t get to keep it.”

“That’s some bullshit.”

“Lachlan!” Mom yelled.

“Sorry. Just worked up.”

Jesus. I put my head between my knees. This wasn’t happening. Not to my kid.

He was too small for this. Too young.

“Hi, Elle!” Bast grinned from the bed. “Wanna watch my belly
asplode
?”

Elle gave him a smile. “You know, Bast? I think I’ll pass. We don’t want you to
asplode
.”

The nurse unhooked his equipment and removed the brakes from his bed.

“We have to take him now,” she said.

Mom leaned over the bed, leaving no space on his forehead unkissed.

Fuck it. I did the same.

“You’re going to be okay, little man,” I said. “Don’t you worry. I’ll be
right here
when you get back.”

“
’Kay
.” Whatever painkillers they gave him worked quick. He yawned and looked at me. “Are you really my father?”

Elle’s eyes widened. “
Lachlan
.”

I patted his bed. “Don’t worry about that now. Go get your belly sliced open. I bet it’s really gross.”

“Bet mine is grosser than yours,” Bast said.

“No doubt.”

The nurse took him away, and every bit of my heart went with him. I rubbed my face, but the admitting doctor offered a bit of encouragement.

“Don’t worry. Doctor Merriweather is very talented.”

I frowned. “Rory?”

“Oh, no. Her mother, Regan, is the chief of pediatrics. She’ll take excellent care of your brother…son.”

Great. By the end of the surgery, most of the hospital would probably assume I owned a banjo and that Elle was my sister-wife. Not what we needed.

A nurse guided us to a waiting room. I sunk into a chair, head in my hands. Mom patted my back.

“I need something to eat,” she said. “Today has been one stress after another. I’m glad I took his temperature when I did.”

“I should have been there.” I muttered. “I can’t keep missing all this stuff.”

“Relax, Lachlan. I’m going to get a sandwich. Are you hungry?”

“Not at all.”

“I’ll stay with him,” Elle said.

Mom gave me a nod and retreated to the cafeteria. How the hell could she eat? Anything that I put in my mouth would come right back up. Food. Drink. My fucking foot.

I stared at Elle. “What the hell did I do? I just told Bast he was my
son
.”

Elle pulled a chair close. “Charming, listen to me. They hopped that boy up on
morphine
. He won’t remember his own name, let alone what you said.”

“How can we be sure? What if he wakes up and asks me what the fuck I was talking about?”

“Well, for starters…we’ll put a dollar in the swear jar so he won’t be talking like
you
when school starts again.”

“Red, come on.”

“He’s six years old. All he needs to know is that you love him. That’s it.”

“But I’m gonna have to tell him at some point!” I couldn’t sit still. I paced the waiting room, hands on my head. “And how do I explain it? Yeah, you’re my son. No, I didn’t want to raise you.”

“You
couldn’t
raise him.”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t have a good reason. I knocked a girl up. Anything I say will have to start with that. I have to tell him
how
he was made. No matter what I do, I’ll have to explain where babies come from.”

“
Please
don’t tell him where babies come from.”

“Thank Christ, because, honestly?” I held my arms out. “I’m still not entirely sure how it happens.”

Elle rolled her eyes. “Fantastic news…for both me and our year-old son. Remind me to show you how it works when we get home.”

I rubbed my temples. This was a nightmare.

“I’m not going to say anything,” I said. “When he wakes up, he’ll be groggy. He’ll probably want to sleep and he’ll forget everything.”

Elle pointed to the chair. “Sit, Lachlan. He’s going to be okay.”

“What if he’s not?”

“He’s your
son
.” She gave me a kiss. “He’s strong, like his dad. He’ll probably need a ridiculously overpowered sedative to settle his butt down. But everything is okay. I promise.”

Elle was reassuring when she wanted to be. But I couldn’t calm down. Not until the surgery was over. I bounced chair to chair, tossed every magazine up and down, and invented a basketball game with crinkled up papers and a garbage can across the room.

That passed five minutes.

I took a seat only when Elle threatened to order me a tranquilizer.

An hour passed before the doctor came to get us—a beautiful black woman who looked nothing like Rory despite sharing her name.

“Everything went fine,” she said. “He’s in his room, recovering. His appendix hadn’t burst, so it was a clean and easy procedure. He’ll be tender for a few days, but he should be fine.”

She didn’t appreciate a hug or that I high-jumped the chairs to race back to Bast’s room.

The kid was still out, but I pulled a chair close and waited while he slept. Mom and Elle joined me, watching TV on mute. It took another twenty minutes before he woke, but Bast looked me right in the eyes and smiled.

“Are you really my dad?”

Jesus Christ.

Mom raced to the bed, rubbing his cheek. “Are you okay, Bast?”

“Yeah.”

Elle pinched his toes. “You’re all better now.”

“Good.”

I swallowed. “You had me worried, little man.”

“Yeah, but Lachlan—”

I held up a hand. I knew where this was going. I glanced at Elle and Mom.

“Can you give me a minute?” I asked.

“Lachlan…” Mom shook her head. “Now might not be the time.”

Obviously it was. Fucking surgery anesthetic couldn’t get the thought out of his head.

“It’s okay. I just wanna talk to him.”

Elle squeezed my hand, and they left us in peace. Bast looked exhausted, and his hospital gown was about six sizes too big, but I’d never been so proud of him in my life.

“You did good,” I said. “You took the surgery better than me. I was a wreck.”

“Why?”

“Because I was worried about you. I kinda like ya, Bast.”

“I kinda like you too.”

That was a relief. “Look, I want you to know…I love you. I’ve always loved you, even when you were a little stinky whining baby that looked all goofy.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“And…I wasn’t going to tell you until you were older, but…” I puffed my breath out. “Bast, when I was younger. In school. There was…” A girl. A mistake. A broken condom. Jesus, everything sounded so terrible for ending up with such a great kid. “A stork mix-up.”

“A
stork
?”

“Yeah. It’s a bird. It delivers babies.”

“I thought doctors delivered babies.”

“Well, yeah…” I delayed as best I could. “But the babies…are carried in the stork’s mouth. And the doctors gotta get them out.”

“Of their
mouth
?”

“Yeah. Like that creepy bird we saw at the zoo.”

“That’s a
pelican
.”

Goddamn it. Thanks Sesame Street. “That’s right. Pelicans bring babies.”

Bast tilted his head. “But they live on the beach.”

“How did you learn this much about pelicans without knowing that they bring babies?”

He wasn’t buying it. “Elle had a baby in her
tummy
.”

It wasn’t the first time Nicky sold me out during his first year of life, and it wouldn’t be the last. “Well. There’s a simple answer to that.”

Bast waited. Patiently.

Damn it.

“The doctor takes the baby from the pelican, and…and…”
Fuck
. “Elle swallowed the baby. And it grew in her tummy.”

“What’s that got to do with me?”

A valid question which still had no answer. “Well, the pelican that carried
you…
came a couple years too early. He gave you to me when I was still in high school.”

“
You
swallowed me?”

This kid would eventually need therapy. “No. The pelican got it wrong. He handed you to another girl at the time, but she wasn’t right for me. She wasn’t Elle. So, because I was so young, and we were close in age like brothers…the pelican came back. He decided that he would give you to Mom. And we worked it out that way. Had a lawyer and everything. Pelicans are very litigious.”

“What’s that?”

“Means they keep the paperwork in order. Ours was a very weird case.”

“Oh,” he said.

“Understand?”

“No.”

Neither did I. “That’s okay. The only thing you need to realize is how much we all love you. Mom, me, Elle, and Nicky? We’re all a family. A family means we’re gonna love you forever. It doesn’t matter who is a brother or who is a father, because our love is unconditional. Okay?”

The kid was exhausted. He nestled into the pillow. “Okay.”

“Don’t you worry about this. It doesn’t change
anything
.”

“Good. I don’t want anything to change.”

“Me too, little man.”

Mom knocked on the door. She and Elle returned, but Bast was about ready to sleep. A nurse came to check on him, but he grinned at Elle.

“You swallowed a pelican and got a baby in your belly,” he said.

Elle hesitated. “Okay. That’s
one
explanation.”

Bast drifted to sleep, and Elle pulled me from the room.

“Come on. You’re exhausted. Let’s go get you something to eat and check on Nicky.”

I left only once I was absolutely certain Bast was out and wouldn’t miss me. Elle took me to the elevator, but she kissed me the instant the doors closed.

“You are
so
that little boy’s father,” she said. “It doesn’t matter if he calls you Daddy or Lachlan. Don’t ever doubt it. He is lucky to have you.”

“I’m lucky to have him.”

“What
exactly
did you tell him?”

“I don’t know, Red. Pelicans were involved.”

“
Peli
—” Elle knew not to argue. “It’s okay. He probably won’t remember much from today.”

“I don’t think he will.”

“If he doesn’t…”

“He’s gotta find out sometime. I’ll make sure he knows the truth.”

“Then I trust you,” she said. “You know what’s best for him, even if it’s confusing and painful.”

“Nothing’s painful about this family.” I brushed a hand through her hair. “Not Bast. Not Nick. Not you. I can’t imagine living without you guys. If the hardest thing in my life is reconciling how much I love my sons, then I’m doing something right.”

Elle kissed me, her smile sweet. “And that’s why I love you, Charming.”

“You also think I’m cute.”

“Yeah.” She leaned in for another kiss. “I’d cross oceans for you.”

“Okay.”

“Change the tides.”

“Sure.”

“Marry you all over again.”

“You won’t have to,” I said. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

She snuggled close, holding me tight. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

T
he children were
…
everywhere
.

Kids. Toddlers. Babies.

Rosie and Sammy were three-year-old anarchists. Their motto:
Disorder, Disarray, Disney
.

Ethan learned how to walk and hadn’t stopped since his first steps. My son possessed my work dynamic—no counter too high, no stairs too steep, no bruises too blue.

Lachlan and Elle’s son was confined.

Thank-
fucking
-God.

He practically vibrated in his carrier. Wasn’t sure if letting him out would make him go supersonic or supercritical. Only Lachlan would create a life that combined his energy with Elle’s wiles. The baby was smart. He was fast. And he needed a diaper change.

I passed him to Piper.

“All yours, beautiful,” I said.

She searched the waiting room we had commandeered in the pediatric ward. No matter how many creepy ass clowns they plastered on the walls, fish tanks they stuck in the corner, or Fisher Price toys on the tables, it was still a damn hospital. It wouldn’t entertain these kids for long.

I could handle Rosie. She was the light of my life…even if she often tore wallpaper from the walls, left a trail of mushy Cheerios in her wake, and spent her days tangling tiaras in my hair.

And Ethan had been a little champ. Big baby. Strong. He had Piper’s snarky grin, but he was his daddy through and through.

I was used to my kids. I understood how they worked.

But suddenly
many
kids paraded around my legs. I’d went rigid, trying not to move. The last thing I wanted was to crush one of them. I’d never hear the end of it.

“I’ll find a changing table,” Piper said. “But you remember the deal.”

“A foot rub for every diaper change I pawn on you.”

Piper winked. “
Both feet
, lover boy.”

She struck a hard bargain. Always had. I was just lucky she could compromise on diapers. Since she had signed new clients for her agency, Piper became more business savvy. If she sensed I shirked any responsibilities, she’d throw down and strike in the middle of the nursery.

Never saw a woman get so stubborn over a specific brand of wipe or baby butt cream.

It was not how I imagined my life.

This was better than I’d hoped.

Piper snagged Nicky and his diaper bag. She made it to the entrance of the waiting room before another baby blocked her path.

Jude Owens gave us an awkward smile. “Hey, guys.”

His step-daughter—a grinning, wiggling, bundle of giggles—stared only at her father. She might not have been his biologically, but we were of like minds on the subject. Blood didn’t matter, not when it came to our little girls.

“I need a favor,” Jude said.

I knew what he wanted. I gestured to the four kids currently destroying the waiting room. “This stable is full.”

“I’m sorry.” Jude set Dawn’s carrier on a chair. “Rory was supposed to meet me. We planned to hand off the baby so I could do my follow-up appointment. But she’s stuck working with a patient. I have to make sure my brain isn’t mush…you know. From when I scored us the winning touchdown during the championship game. I sacrificed my body just to get our team the win…”

For Christ’s sake. “Fine. Leave the baby.”

Piper bounced a finger off Dawn’s little nose and grinned. “Of course we’ll watch her. Go do your appointment, Jude.”

He rubbed his head. “Thanks. Now if I could just remember where it was…”

Piper laughed. So did he.

Even though he wasn’t kidding, not that’d ever fucking admit it.

The baby stayed. Jude left.

And the nightmare began.

Five
kids, ranging from three-years-old to six months, stared at me.

And they all screamed at once.

“Daddy, princesses!” Rose tugged my hand.

“Play ball!” Sammy pulled her hair.

Ethan babbled. “
Dadadada
.”

Nick made a foul smell and giggled like a fiend. “
Uh-Oh
!”

And Dawn squealed at the top of her lungs after Jude left.

Piper huffed. “We might be in trouble.”

“
You
think
?”

“It’s okay. I’ll go change Nicky. You watch the kids.”

“All of them?”

“
Preferably
,” she said. “They’re just children, Cole. You can handle a couple kiddos, right?”

No
.

Piper had an obscenely high opinion of me, and I had no idea how I’d earned it.

Sure, I could handle Rose, but she was my little princess. And Ethan, hell. He was my
boy
. We’d struck an accord when he was young—all seven pounds of nothing. I hadn’t accidentally smooshed him when he was born, and he hadn’t pissed on me during a single diaper change. It was a good arrangement.

But I wasn’t watching my children in a quiet mansion. Sure, I had adjusted to the glitter. The toys. The trinkets. The princesses and tea parties.

Elmo.

But this was something…terrifying.

“I need a zone defense for you guys.” I pointed Rose and Sammy to the corner. “Why don’t you go play with the cars?”

Rose stomped her foot. “No!”

“Why not?”

“I want…” She took a breath. “Blue car.”

“I’ll find you a blue car.”

“Red too!”

“A blue and red car?”

“Yes!”

“…Can I get you a purple car instead?”

“No!” Her chubby cheeks puffed, but she smiled at me. “And nanners!”

Uh-oh. “I don’t know if Momma brought any bananas from home. We don’t have any.”

It was like I accidentally blitzed every one of the Wiggles, tore the heart out of Barney, and melted Elsa.

Rose’s eyes welled with tears. Sammy threw himself against a chair, distraught. Ethan bellowed from his blanket for
nanners
.

Dawn seemed relatively ambivalent, but as far as I knew, she was only eating one specific meal. That was nothing
I
could help her with.

I panicked, grabbing my phone and texting Piper.

Bring Bananas

Her response was quick.

They don’t grow in bathrooms. Would you really want one if they did?

I didn’t need the sass, not when toddler tantrums were eminent.

We’re gonna need bananas

I didn’t have time to answer her response.

Rosie and Sammy were mobile, hyper, and on the move. The circled the waiting room in tightly constricting concentric circles. I dove for Ethan and Dawn, clutching my son to my shoulder and holding Dawn’s carrier high in the air as they toppled through the room and played some sort of combination Frozen, Tangled, Yo Gabba Gabba nightmare-fueled tag.

Rosie’s giggle was heartwarming. Sammy’s smile was the mirror image of his father. That made me nervous. My daughter was apparently crushing on the son of the notorious Jack Carson.

Maybe I could set her up in a nunnery instead of pre-school?

I tucked Dawn and Ethan together on a blanket in the corner and played defense as the older kids raced. Sammy tossed a ball to me. Rosie sprinted to catch it.

She was about as athletic as her mother.

She missed, and her curled little fist propelled forward. Right into my groin.

I sunk to my knees. It wasn’t the first time Rose nearly castrated me with a foot, fist, doll, or chair. The kid was dead-set on being an only child, but at least I’d knocked Piper up before anything bad happened. Now I reaped what I sowed.

“
Daddy
!” Rose rushed to me. Her little arms curled over my neck. “Sorry.”

I pulled her closer for a hug. There was once a time when this was frightening to me. Now I lived for hugs and brought athletic protectors home from the field.

I kissed her cheek. “It’s okay—”

Her whisper was creepy. One of the things kids did when they pretended to be an adult and scared the piss out of unsuspecting parents. “
Next time…it’s your knees
.”

“
What
?”

“Want a red car!”

Piper had assured Rose’s curses weren’t prophecy, just the ramblings of a three-year-old who knew just how to twist the knife. I pawed through Ethan’s diaper bag to find her toys, handed her a blue car, and made a note to do a little physical conditioning on my knees before training camp started.

“I’m back!” Piper returned with a smiling Nicky. “What’d I miss?”

Rose leapt to her feet. The car went flying and crashed into Sammy’s forehead. He plopped onto the ground and pouted.

“I gotta potty!” Rose rushed to the door.

Potty-training was a fucking godsend, but it meant dropping everything and rushing the baby to a toilet like she was a nuke about to detonate.

“Okay, you little meatball. Let’s go.” She shrugged at me. “Be right back.”

Sure.

That’s what she’d said the last time.

Dawn started fussing the instant the door shut. I could handle this. I plucked her from her seat and held her tight.

Too tight.

Found the problem, and it stained my shirt. She spit-up, but she gave a smile.

“Better?” I asked her. “Here.”

I lowered her to the blanket. Ethan also wiggled and fussed.

“Not you too.”

I picked him up. Should have expected it. These disasters came in clusters.

One wayward pat to his bottom and the floodgates opened. Unfortunately, his diaper didn’t catch it all. I groaned as a trickle of warmth dribbled on my shirt.

“You’re kidding me…” I held him away from me. “We had a
deal
!”

Puke in my hair. Piss on my shirt.

And Sammy had crawled under the fish tank cabinet, searching for a way to commune with the terrified
Nemo
who was just keeping swimming.

Piper retuned with Rosie. I handed off Ethan.

“Diaper,” I said.

She snorted. “Looks like
you’re
the diaper.”

“Get out of here before I hug you.”

She tickled Ethan and went to change his diaper too. “You naughty little boy. What’d you do to Daddy?”

I’d been beaten.

Pissed on. Shit on. Puked on.

Things that had only happened on the field were suddenly part of my day-to-day.

Maybe kids were just an advanced form of training camp. Good conditioning.

But the guys never cried during the game. Usually.

Sammy rushed from the right. Rosie made her circle from the left. Both held a car in their hand. They collided in a high-speed crash that sent both kids sprawling.

Rosie cried and collapsed in my lap. Sammy cried and did the same.

Nick didn’t like to be left out and started to wail as well.

Dawn was tired of everyone’s shit and howled too.

This was bad.

I juggled both toddlers and rubbed their backs. It turned them into banshees. The babies didn’t want anything jingly or bright or flashing from the toy bag. Dawn kicked and fussed, attempting to tear apart her carrier.

The screaming intensified.

Fuck. We were in a hospital. At best, we’d annoy the piss out of sick people. At the worst, the doctors would assume I was brutally murdering a gaggle of babies.

Just what we needed for my image.
The Beast
wasn’t exactly a warm-and-fuzzy nickname.

I didn’t have any another options. I burst to my feet, grabbing my phone and playing the first song I could find.

Justin Timberlake? I blamed Piper. At least
Can’t Stop This Feeling
was one Rosie liked to dance to. I pointed to the weeping kids.

“This doesn’t leave the room,” I said. “Don’t tell
anyone
.”

I should have gotten it in writing, but at this point I just wanted the insanity to stop and the screaming to end.

The music blasted.

I hopped up shook my ass like a twenty-dollar hooker.

The kids weren’t as entertained as they were perplexed, but that was okay. It silenced them. Rosie was the first to squeal in absolute glee. She rushed to me, hopped into my arms, and we shimmied across the waiting room.

Sammy had a laugh like his dad. He’d be the one to snitch on me, but as long as everyone was dancing and excited, I felt like I was doing my job.

Almost like I
knew
what I was doing.

“Well, well, well…” Piper returned with Ethan, though she wiggled in the doorway too. “A dance party!”

I grabbed Rosie, but pulled Piper and Ethan in close.

“Who would have thought…” Piper’s smile still slayed everything inside me. “The Beast likes to boogie.”

“He likes watching you dance,” I said.

“Well, we knew that.”

There was something…nice about these hugs.

Two kids. A beautiful wife. All smiles. All happy.

Together.

“You’re not regretting helping babysit, are you?” Piper asked.

“You know…” I kissed Rose’s cheek and bumped heads with her. Ethan reached for me too. “I don’t mind it so much.”

“No?”

“Never had this kind of…family before,” I said. “I like it.”

“I always knew it suited you.”

“We could probably handle another kid, don’t you think?”

She flicked her finger against my forehead. “You take a couple diaper shifts and then talk to me about another baby.”

“We got a big house to fill.”

She leaned in to kiss me and laughed as Rose stole it instead. “Believe me, Cole Hawthorne. Our family is
far
from finished. We’re just getting started.”

It didn’t scare me. Didn’t make me think I’d ruin everything and everyone. Didn’t make me fear for the future of my children.

The Beast wasn’t just a force of destruction in me. I could use it to protect. To love my family with a ferocity unrivaled by my time on the field.

“You don’t know how much I love you, beautiful,” I whispered.

Piper leaned in for another kiss. “Probably as much as I love you.”