Happy (13 page)

didn’t see
him
being all weird about it. Even though he’d had to endure

the sight of his kid sister leaving the house in skimpy shorts and a bikini

top. Even though she hadn’t gotten home until well after midnight. Louie

supposed he was fortunate Peter hadn’t spent the night.

He was still a little pissed at the double standard. “No, no plans,” he

replied.

Peter peered over his shoulder and into the house. “’Cause if you do,

that’s okay. Have plans. I totally get it. I mean it’s not like—”

“I’m alone, Peter. Come in.” He stepped back so Peter could enter.

Every nerve in Louie’s body went on high alert as Peter’s shoulder

accidentally brushed his chest. His heart fluttered madly. This was bad. He

couldn’t wait until he got the apartment. Then he’d be free to bring home

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anyone he wanted and not be judged. And he wouldn’t have to worry about

Peter dropping by unexpectedly.

A pang of loneliness made him pause.

“Cool,” Peter said, unaware of Louie’s inner turmoil. “I brought

entertainment.” He held up a DVD case in one hand, and a Styrofoam container

in the other. “And some spanakopita from the restaurant. It’s still warm.”

“I thought you were on your way home.”

“Oh, yeah. Right.”

Louie couldn’t help himself. He chuckled. Peter shared his embarrassment,

it seemed. He gave Peter a shove toward the living room. “You go set up. I’ll

grab some plates. Want a beer?” he called on his way to the kitchen.

“Love one,” Peter yelled back. “So I meant to tell you before, I got

this weird job offer the other day. From the guy who runs that new place

next door—
Tolo
. He’s looking for a manager.”

Louie gathered the necessities, fought down a sudden case of butterflies,

and returned to the living room to find Peter already on the couch, waiting

with Zelda curled in his lap. He looked like he belonged there. He did,

Louie realized with an unwanted start. Peter had probably spent more time

in this house the past few months than he had in years.

“She likes you,” he commented, handing over a beer. “Are you actually

considering it? The job?”

“Nah. I couldn’t leave Pop like that. But it was kind of flattering.”

Peter averted his eyes. To hide how important it really was to him?

Funny how he’d come to know Peter’s tells so quickly.

“Why don’t you worry about yourself for a change?” Louie sat down

in the armchair, about as far away from Peter as he could possibly be and still

see the television. When Zelda didn’t immediately join him, he suppressed

a twinge of jealousy.
Traitor
, he thought. Then again, if he had a chance to

curl up in that lap, he’d probably take it too.

Peter quirked an amused brow and then sniffed his armpit. “Do I smell

or something?”

“No.” Peter smelled great. Louie wondered when he’d stopped finding

his cologne overpowering and started liking the scent. Now he almost

anticipated it.

“Then get your ass over here where you can actually see the screen.”

Feeling the heat surging beneath the skin of his cheeks, Louie moved

to the couch, still keeping an appropriate distance. He picked up the DVD

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case and scanned the back. It was a Spanish horror film. “I haven’t seen this.

Is it good?”

“Very. It’s got subtitles, though. I hope that’s okay.”

He shot the other man an insulted look. “I do know how to read, Peter.”

Peter laughed. “Demetra hates subtitles. We went to this French film

once. She said if she wanted to read, she would have picked up a book.”

That sounded like his sister. She had the attention span of a four-year-

old. Louie dropped the case on the coffee table and settled back into the soft

cushions of the couch. “You guys don’t seem to have much in common.”

Peter’s hand hesitated on the remote. “Opposites attract, right?”

“I guess.” Louie frowned. He’d rather not think of Peter’s and

Demetra’s opposites attracting right now. “Did you have fun on Saturday?”

“It was okay.” Peter avoided his gaze, seemingly concentrating on

finding the right button.

“Just okay? Is that why you guys didn’t get home until 2:00 a.m.?”

Shit.
Did that sound bitter?

“What?” Peter turned his head. “Oh, no. I had to go in to work later.

Demetra was still with her friends when I left. She was going to get a ride

home with one of them.”

“Oh.” Louie’s heart did a little happy dance.

“Want to get that light?” Peter asked as the DVD menu popped up on

the screen. Louie hesitated a split second before he reached behind him to

turn off the floor lamp. “Don’t worry,” Peter added. “I promise to keep my

hands to myself.”

“You do that,” Louie grumbled, pretending to be teasing when in all

seriousness, he’d love Peter to do a little groping. But at least the momentary

awkwardness he’d experienced earlier seemed to be gone. It was a relief,

because future brother-in-law or not, he truly enjoyed Peter’s company.

After the other night, he’d been afraid he might have lost it.

As they settled in to watch the movie, Louie munched down on the

food Peter had brought with him. “This is still the best spanakopita I’ve ever

had. Don’t tell my mom, though.”

Peter laughed. “It’s my
yiayia
’s recipe. She passed it down to my

mother.”

“Does your mom cook at the restaurant too?”

“She used to, but now she mostly does the ordering. I made this,” he

said almost sheepishly.

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76

“No way. Marry me,” Louie blurted. “What? I’m serious,” he added

when Peter laughed. “A man who cooks is priceless. I’ve lived alone for

years and still haven’t mastered it.” He reached for another piece of flaky

pie and had half of it in his mouth before he realized it was the last one. “Oh,

did you want this?” he mumbled with his mouth full.

Peter’s eyes glinted with amusement in the semidarkness. “It’s all

yours. I wouldn’t want to get between a man and his spanakopita.”

Louie licked his fingers clean. There was a warmth in his chest that

had nothing to do with the food and everything to do with the company.

“I’m glad you came over, Peter.”

“Me too.” His voice was serious. “But if you’re going to talk all the

way through this movie, I’m afraid we’re done.”

Louie grinned. He mimed locking his mouth shut and throwing away the

key. But he couldn’t resist one more look at Peter’s profile before he turned his

attention to the film. His heart did that crazy leap again, and he pushed it down

this time. He wouldn’t ruin this budding friendship with a stupid crush.

Almost immediately, Louie became absorbed in the movie. The setting

was a creepy old mansion filled with ghosts, and as the tension built with

every little sound and flash of shadow, he squirmed in his seat, drawing his

knees up to his chest and holding them tight.

When the ghost-boy suddenly flickered on the screen behind the

female protagonist, Louie leapt across the couch and clutched Peter’s arm

so tight, he yelped. “I thought you were into this stuff.”

Louie winced. “I am,” he lied. He reluctantly let go of Peter’s bicep.

“Sorry.”

The glow from the television screen flickered across Peter’s strangely

serious face. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

Still, Louie went back to his side of the couch.

Ten minutes later he did it again. This time he didn’t immediately let

go, and Peter didn’t freak out at all. Louie gripped Peter’s arm, buried his face

against his shoulder, and squeezed his eyes shut. “Tell me when it’s over.”

“Dude! You’re such a wuss. How did you ever watch
The Hills

Have Eyes
?”

“I, ah, might have lied about that. It was Aaron’s movie.”

“Oh.”

“I never made it through all of it,” Louie mumbled. Peter laid a warm,

reassuring hand on his bare knee, and he was reluctant to pull away. So he

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left his head on Peter’s shoulder, and Peter, great guy that he was, didn’t

even complain.

“Is Aaron your boyfriend?” he asked quietly.

“Was.”

“I take it things didn’t go well.”

“You could say that.” Louie swallowed the unexpected lump in his

throat. How many nights had they spent like this, cuddling in front of the

television? At the time, he’d felt suffocated by it, but right now he missed it

with a ferocity that surprised him.

“If you want to… talk about it, you can.” Peter’s hand still hadn’t moved

from his bare knee. Unless you counted the way his thumb rubbed little circles

on his skin. Louie’s mouth went dry. He didn’t know what to make of that.

In the end, he stopped worrying and let himself enjoy it. If he closed his eyes

he could pretend they were a couple, spending a boring night at home. Some

wine, a movie, and then they’d go upstairs and have sex.

His attention wandered from the movie to the dark hair dusting the

back of Peter’s hand. Peter had nice hands, he decided. Very masculine.

The hair grew thicker on his forearms and Louie had the sudden desire to

stroke it.

“I met Aaron at a fundraiser for the environment,” he heard himself

say. “Save the whales, or something like that. Our company was auctioning

off a travel voucher. Aaron’s dad was a member of Parliament, and he

was being groomed to follow in his shoes in local politics. There were a

lot of expectations for him; I didn’t really understand how many, in the

beginning. Anyway, being with me was not one of them. It’s partly my own

fault—I should have known better than to get involved with someone who’s

bisexual.”

Peter burst into a fit of coughing.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he croaked. “Just something in my throat. Why, um, why do

you say that?”

“Everyone knows they’ll always choose the woman. It’s easier that

way.” Louie shook his head. “At the time, I thought he was just afraid to

come out, and because I’d been there too, I could help him through it.”

The words began to pour out—all the hurt and pain he’d kept inside

because he’d had no one to tell it to, no one to confide in. Once he started

he couldn’t seem to stop.

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“After a while the secrecy got to me. We couldn’t go anywhere

together where he might be recognized. I couldn’t even talk about him to

my friends. Do you know what that’s like? Not being able to talk to anyone

about the person you love? I finally woke up to the fact he didn’t mind the

way things were—he wasn’t all that interested in coming out.”

“Maybe he just needed more time,” Peter said hoarsely. “To make

sure it was real before he totally changed his life around.”

Louie snorted. “There’s always an excuse, Peter. We were together

two-and-a-half years. It’s not like it wasn’t a serious relationship. At least

to me. But he refused to even talk about a plan. When I asked him point-

blank….”

“What?”

“Let’s just say he didn’t choose me, okay?”

“It might not have been as easy for him as it was for you.”

Louie straightened. “Easy? Do you have any idea what it was like for

me? It took a year before my parents would even speak to me. My dad still

can’t look me in the eye—or so I assume, because I haven’t actually
seen

him in three years—he always has some last-minute excuse for why he

can’t visit me. My mom pretends like nothing has changed. And she never

even asks about my personal life. Demetra is the only one who never treated

me differently. I didn’t go through my own hell to end up in someone else’s

closet, Peter.”

Peter’s eyes were soft in the shadows. “But you still love him.”

“I don’t know anymore.” Louie sighed. “I suppose I still have feelings

for him, but I had to do
something
. I could feel him dragging me back in

there with him. Hiding. Lying. Keeping secrets. And I can’t do that again.

Not ever.” God, it felt so good to get everything off his chest.

“If he changed his mind, if he said he’d come out for you, would you

take him back?”

Louie had waited around with that very hope. He’d still be waiting if

he hadn’t finally made the break and moved back home. “He won’t change

his mind,” he replied flatly. “And it doesn’t matter now. I’m here.” He forced

some humor into his voice. “Nope. I’m done with curious, questioning

closet cases. If you can’t hold my hand in public, don’t even bother.”

Peter was silent.

Louie leapt to his feet, embarrassed by his outburst. “I think I need

another drink.” He took refuge in the kitchen, grateful that Peter didn’t

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come after him. He needed a chance to regroup, to get himself under control

again. When he returned a few minutes later with two fresh beers, he held

one out to Peter. “Sorry to unload on you like that. Bet you wish you hadn’t

asked, huh?”