Authors: Brian Chikwava
Now me I am jumping around to try to put money together
and suddenly Comrade Mhiripiri stop sending messages. I try to
call him to hear what the score is but his phone is no more
contactable. Then Tom start sending text messages that don't
make no sense; yeee the police is now after Comrade Mhiripiri;
yeeeeeee he have run away to UK. 'This is not good sign,' my
uncle say. I don't want to leave the country because I have not
visit Mother in two years. But I have to go because me I know
what Chikurubi Maximum Prison is like; I have been there before
and it is full of them people that carry likkle horrors such as them
sharpened bicycle spokes and they want you to donate your buttocks
so they can give you Aids; if you refuse then bicycle spoke go
through your stomach like it is made of toilet paper and you is
bleeding inside all night and have no chance of making it to the
morning. No one can want to go there again. Life is not fair me
I know after they hold the spoke to my heart.
But right now me I sit tight because there is no reason going
back home if you can't buy your freedom from them those hyenas.
Even if Sekai think that me I am
mamhepo
– the winds; them bad
spirits – I keep the discipline and try not to end up burying Paul
and she under the bathroom floor.
'You have to behave and watch what you say to people,' Sekai say.
She have cook heap of food and have invite heap of she friends
from work to come and eat in this evening. Two doctors have
just arrive; one is white man with funny accent and another one
I don't hear where he is from but he is Nigerian. Paul get them
beer, and start talk talk to them in lounge while I sit quiet in
corner of room watching TV because Chelsea is playing Arsenal.
Sekai don't want me to talk to them visitors because she think I
end up embarrassing them, I know.
Small group of them five nurses also arrive; they is from home
and all over Africa. Me I go and lie down in my room but Paul
call me so I can come and meet them nurses. He even give me
one can of beer and say I should sit in lounge with everyone.
Yakov, the Russian doctor, start talk to me. 'Traitors is very
hard to kill,' I start telling him. 'That is why Grigori Rasputin was
still fighting back even after he have been given enough cyanide
to kill ten horses, shot many times and thrown into ice-cold river.'
Russians was our comrades because before independence them
guerrillas used to leave Zimbabwe to be trained in Russia. I don't
know if Yakov know.
Sekai, who is busy putting food on the table now, shoot out
of room calling me to follow she to the kitchen. When I get to
the kitchen she give me money and tell me to go buy more beer
from corner shop. There's heaps of beer and wine in the fridge
and she still want more?
I come back from buying beer and everyone is already sitting
at table and eating. There is no more chair for me to sit at table
so I have to take my plate of food and sit on couch and eat quiet.
Because I'm not talking to no one me I go to my room after
eating.
Sekai come to check things in my room when she hear she
sausage dog crying. It was lying on my bed, me I tell she.
'They say you are not entitled to get weekly benefit because you
are our dependant,' Paul say as he put the phone down. That's
because this morning there is letter that arrive for me from them
immigration people talking about what I am allowed and not
allowed to do in England. Paul give them phone call. Now it turn
out I am not allowed to work until my asylum get approved. And
I'm not even allowed benefit money. People say asylum sometimes
take years to get approve.
'Do you know what happen to things like people's graves when
government takes over the area for mining?' I change subject now
and ask Paul. He have degree in rural and urban planning. He just
stare into the distance. I sniff sniff that he don't want to talk about
this because last week Sekai have already say what is happening in
Mother's village is because people like me have been supporting
corrupt government. Now that emeralds have been discovered there
we will soon hear that the area has been take over by some minister's
company, that's what Sekai say.
Shingi; I don't want to make worryful situation for him. I don't
want to hang my problems around his neck. At school he have
habit of disappearing when he get upset or don't like something
but can't tell you straight and square. Me I don't want situation
where I bring my problems to him and he hide from me. No one
like people with problems.
I don't have Shingi's address or phone number. But I have his
email address.
Paul and Sekai's computer have Internet but I don't even try
to touch it.
'Are you looking for graft?' Paul ask me. He know that me I
am not supposed to look for job but now he say I can maybe try
to find graft but I have to be careful because if they catch me,
that's the end of me. I don't know if Paul trying to set me up or
what. He even say I can use they Internet if I want although he
don't think Internet will have jobs for people that have no work
permit.
'Feel free to use Internet,' he say. Me I nod and play like I am
dumb native who have no self-motivate, even when I know that
if I lay my finger on computer without permission, Sekai is going
to put my arse in bin bag and throw it onto next flight back home.
Because Sekai is still out on night duty, Paul even show me
how to use they Internet and what not to do.
Immigrant people's contribution to this country is equal to one
Mars bar in every citizen's pocket every year. That's the first story
I read when I start interneting. Sekai is busy putting Mars bars
in other people's pockets but can jump on she relative if he touch
she bread. That's Harare North for you.
I spend tons of days interneting for graft when Sekai is not
around but me I can't find no graft. There is nothing on Internet
for someone who want to swing the hammer or pickaxe or push
the broom.
I send message to Shingi greeting him and wishing him well.
I don't hear from him so I spend long time wondering if he is
too busy.
After weeks I hear from Shingi, telling me about how he have
been too busy and have just move to Brixton and how he is now
living in shared house with Aleck, someone that he have been
connect to by Zimbabwean old man who recently start living in
Brixton after running away from Zimbabwe because the police
was after him. He is busy because now he is starting new graft
with landscaping company in Wimbledon and his asylum application
have been approve very fast. Asylum take years to get approve
but his get approve in matter of months.
Shingi is excite to hear from me and I tell him that he have
not see nothing yet because soon, once I have settle in Harare
North, me I can catch for him heaps of them London girls with
they pointy shoes and sexy skirt. Shingi go kak kak kak kak.
Shingi tell where he is now living and say it's OK if I come to
visit him on Friday evening when he is back from his new graft.
If he is not home I will find girl called Tsitsi to let me into they
house; she is always home.
Last month Paul give me £20 so I can use for transport if I have
to travel and look for graft. That's what I take out of my suitcase
and put inside my pocket.
I don't want to spend most of Friday inside Paul and Sekai's
house; it's better to spend day checking out Brixton and then
meet Shingi in the evening.
On Thursday evening I tell Paul that some friend from home
want to put me on right road to graft so I have to go to Brixton
early in morning but I have not travel on London Underground
on my own before. If I get lost somewhere Paul and Sekai is
maybe going to have big party and not bother look for me.
Paul now want to be extra helpful to help me get to Brixton.
In the morning, on his way to graft, he come with me on Central
Line, and at Oxford Circus, he even take me to platform for
Victoria Line that go to Brixton. I know he is trying to help me
find the way out of they life, old Paul.
On the train to Brixton I am wondering if Shingi have change
since he come to London. Even at primary school he make me
laugh when we play in the playground. But is he still also shy boy?
One day during break time at school me I am on my own standing
on the edge of the fishpond near the school playground eating
my bread and looking at them fish that look like carrots. Shingi
join me because everyone in class is still new and Shingi don't
really have friends yet. I don't see him creeping up on me; the
first thing I see is his reflection on surface of water in the fishpond.
When our eyes clash, he get shy and soon disappear. I never
talk to him again until the second term. By then Shingi have
become the butt end of every joke in class because he have glasses
that is so thick when he blink it look like two big butterflies have
flutter they wings behind his glasses. Then one day the boy that
sit next to Shingi want to put him in one big fix and shout at the
top of his voice that Shingi have said that he want to fry Thoko
in Olivine cooking oil. Now, Thoko is this big girl that sit in the
front row in classroom and sometimes she come to school smelling
of Olivine cooking oil because sometimes that's what she use
because she mother cannot afford Vaseline. She have already take
on two boys since beginning of the year because they make fun
of she by saying she is ready to be fry. She mop the floor with
them and make them look cheap.
Now Shingi spend rest of the day in class cowering at the back
of classroom saying he never say he want to fry anyone. But Thoko
have already make announcement that she want to straighten him
up after school.
After school everyone looking forward to another fight and
rush to the school gate to join Thoko and wait for Shingi. Shingi
hide in the toilet and not come out. Everyone wait and wait but
Shingi stay put inside toilet. Then after long time he uncoil
himself and step out of toilet and out of school yard thinking
that everyone have give up now, only to find Thoko and everyone
further down the road under
marula
tree where everyone is
eating
marula
fruit and waiting. Now, Shingi can't run back
because it's too late. He deny everything – he deny that he have
been hiding in toilet or that he said he want to fry Thoko. He
even almost deny that his name is Shingi. But Thoko just want
to show him what she can do. She have put she school bag down
on the edge of the dusty road and have tuck she dress into she
knickers' elastic hem-band like them girls do when they is playing
netball. And as is usual with them fights, other classmates have
rush to make them two sand breasts in the middle of the path.
One stand for Shingi's mother's breast and the other stand for
Thoko's mother's breast. To make challenge Thoko kick Shingi's
mother's breast into the air in that style, you know, like your
mother's breast is rubbish. Now, Shingi is lugging eyes like thief
that has just been catch, and without any way to frighten she,
he kick Thoko's mother's breast, but he don't flatten it out
because he don't want to get Thoko more vex. The fight now
start and Shingi almost fainting. He throw half-dozen weak
punches before Thoko land one clean cracking slap on his face
and Shingi's glasses fly into the air. Now with bad vision, Shingi
throw another bad effort. Thoko land another one on the other
eye. That's when Shingi bawl for his mother:
Maiwe Amai!
Mama, Mamaa!
I have to pick his glasses and give them to him
while everyone piss they pants laughing. That's the first time I
ever accompany him home. Me I tell him that next time someone
want to fight him he should pick rocks, hit they head and chase
them away.
At Brixton station people is leaping into my face from every direction.
None of them talk to each each. They is just pushing faces
into mine and walking. They don't smile.
I spend the day wandering around just looking at Brixton, them
shops and the market that is so busy it feel like you have stick
your head inside anthill. By afternoon I am bored and hungry so
me I go sit on bench at bus stop and take out of my pocket the
A–Z map that Paul lend me. Shingi don't live far from here.
It look like one heap of bricks that stand out from other houses
because of its grey brick. That's the house where Shingi live. It
have two top windows that have red brick arch. That make the
windows look like big sad eyes. Below them sad eyes there is one
large bay window that stick out like nose. When I look at the
nose, the eyes and black parapet wall – this is Shingi straight and
square. But you don't tell anyone that they head look like house
if you still want to be friends.
So, Shingi live inside this head?
Tsitsi fling the door open when I knock. She is small girl with
sharp look in she eye, nose as small as chicken poo dropping and
face drawn tight over small skull. She have the fizzy behaviour
of Coca-Cola drink but maybe it's she own kind of rural behaviour
because she come from small village in Mashonaland East
Province.
She have just turn seventeen she say without me asking.
She wear red-on-white polka-dot dress, one side slipping off she
shoulder so the dress hang on she like scarecrow's drapes. She is also
wearing yellow-flower headscarf on she head; tied twice over around
she head, knotted first at the back and then at the front. She bite
bottom lip like she is shy. She have one dimple on one cheek.
Across she left cheek, the tail of one long thin scar maybe caused
by snapping barbed wire, break in two as it jump over she left eye
and start again above eyebrow before fading out on forehead. She
eye have survive.
She take me to the kitchen and the air smell of bad cooking
and the sink have one heap of dirty dishes and all. It's like they
lie there for donkey years. The ceiling on one corner is growing
mushrooms and things.
Rule No. 1: DON'T eat what you did not buy!
Rule No. 2: DON'T eat what you did not buy!
Rule No. 3: DON'T eat what is not yours!
Rule No. 4: If you don't work you don't eat.
Rule No. 5: Wash your pots and plates after eating, your
mother is not here to wash them for you!
That's them house rules on piece of paper that is stuck onto
kitchen door. I have not finish reading all of them and Tsitsi
already have got she hand over she mouth like she is trying to
stop laughter coming out. Like I am visitor who was not supposed
to have see this rudeness.
She start cracking knuckles of she fingers with embarrassed smile
and lead me out of kitchen.
Shingi sleeps in the lounge; he share the room with Farayi.
Two mattresses is on rotting floorboards, blankets all over, small
heaps of things telling one story of big journey that is caused by
them dreams that start far away in them townships. I can sniff
sniff them natives' lives squatting under the low damp ceiling like
thieves that have just been catch.
Tsitsi is small girl and now being taken care of by Aleck who
feel sorry for she, Shingi have tell me. She have run away from
tyrant auntie who is married to doctor, so she say, and Shingi
also tell me how she visa have now expire. Me I have hear this
number before; like them other stories that come from abroad,
it has been tell many times in townships: some poor relative is
lift out of poverty and is taken to them big lights of foreign city,
is made to babysit, cook great mountains of meals, make she
hosts' bed every morning, even touching them things that should
have been taboo for she to even see – things like the father of
the house's underwear that is full of them skid marks. Soon this
get father of the house's head all out of gear and he start wondering
what else this hard-working thing can provide. It don't trouble
him with clever argument like the wife do, and it is easy with
everything he ask for. That always ends with the usual number
playing: family scandal, disgraced man and, sometimes, unwanted
baby.
As soon as she have show me around the house Tsitsi throw
sheself into inside cupboard, come out with can of sardines, and
wasting no time, open it, pour it onto small plate and give it
to me to eat. Then she heave she small skeleton onto the
cupboard top, sit cross-legged, leaving me abandoned on the
kitchen floor.
She ask where I get them from, pointing at them my glasses.
I don't want to tell she to heat them sardines for me.
'You want bread?' She eyes bulge in they sockets like she head
have just been hit by big idea. She head is cocked, one ear in
front. She is expecting answer. Now I am not hungry.
She head jump jump on she neck as she look at me, this small
funny rural girl that want me to eat cold sardines.
I put my plate of them sardines on cupboard and walk to the
sink, pick empty water glass. The glass slip off my hand and come
crashing on the edge of the sink bowl; it break and fill the kitchen
with the kind of fright that fill the room when you have break
your mother's bestest teapot. I look at Tsitsi and she hand is over
she mouth like I have commit big crime.
I go down on floor picking up them glass pieces. Tsitsi jump
off the cupboard and run to get broom and dustpan from behind
the kitchen door.
'It's OK, don't worry,' she laugh. 'It's Farayi's glass.' She start
to sweep glass from floor and I am just standing there. I pick my
plate of sardines again to give my hands something to do. I put
one sardine piece inside my mouth.
From upstairs, some baby start to cry. Tsitsi drop everything
and run to she room upstairs. She run back down with the
baby.
'I've bring you one big comrade,' she say standing by kitchen
door. This is the baby that she have been telling me about. It's
because of the baby that she say she have to go back to she aunt
but she is too scared to go by sheself and want Aleck to accompany
she.
I have finish picking them glass so I follow she into lounge.
She go to Shingi's bed. She tiny skeleton fold neat as she sit on
the bed, crossing she legs and holding the baby close to she
bosom. With one hand she pull she blouse up. She don't wear
bra; she left breast jump out and hang like talisman. It look
bigger than the other. She bring she baby closer, bending she
back. Baby catch it like thief. I stand leaning against the wall
watching.
When she have finish feeding the baby she unfold she legs. As
she get onto she feet, there is sound of ripping cloth. She turn
around to look and there is one clean new slit running down she
dress, from she bum all the way down and through hemline.
Behind she, poking out of the mattress there is short rusty wire.
As if nothing has happen, she put the baby on the bed, get up,
pick he and start talking motherly gibberish to him. Then she
turn to me and tell me to hold baby and help she put him on she
back.
I take the baby, hold him as she fall down on she hands and
knees in front of me.
'Put him on my back.'
I step towards she, and place him on she back, flat on his
stomach.
Tsitsi want the shawl; I grab it from the mattress, stretch it
out and put it on so it hang both sides even. Tsitsi move she
back up slightly, holding it horizontal as she grab them two ends
of the shawl hanging on both sides of she torso. She pull them
two ends down and across she ribcage where she hold them
together with one hand while she stretch other hand out to
tuck the shawl under the baby's bottom. She jerk baby up and
begin to tie the two ends together. Then she stand up. With
both hands holding together behind she, cupping baby bottom,
she start to shake baby gently, shaking she back gently. Then
she break into lullaby, and with she head leaning to one side she
look like real mother.
Ru ru mwana
Ru ru mwana
Mwana arikuchema
Arikuchemerei?
Arikuchemera bota
Bota nderani?
Nderekacheche
Kacheche karipi?
Shingi is still not home and here in the kitchen Farayi is throwing
heap of stories at me.
'I was teacher at mission school,' he say. You can tell straight
away he is that kind of boy that don't break wind even under
them blankets because that's where he do most of his prayers.
He is the one that share room with Shingi and have live with
Aleck from the beginning and know everything about who have
live in the house before and have been telling me how he run
away from his school where he was teaching religious education.
He also have bum that bounce about inside his trousers
in disorganised way like bunch of firewood that has not been
tie properly.
Without asking, I already know that he have graft at Tooting
where recruitment agency put him to do photocopying and
stationery for NHS. He juggle it with another graft at some
fried chicken takeaway. His papers is not in order; he have do
that style of getting visitor's visa and then stepping off with big
plan to go back home on the 44th of the month. That's a more
direct way; many people do that style because other ways is
complicated. Like the Commonwealth visa thing I hear about
before I come; they give you two years if you is under twenty-eight
years. But you have to wait for months and me I have no
time to do it. Also they want you to show that you have truckload
of money before they give you visa because if you is poor
then you end up desperate and start taking them Mars bars out
of local people's pockets when you is supposed to put them
inside.
Farayi talk talk talk.
'You talk too much,' me I tell him straight and square and he
get the score.
Aleck arrive from his job and the moment he walk into the house
Tsitsi and Farayi is on good behaviour. Tsitsi stop giggling too
much and Farayi tie his bundle of firewood tight.
Aleck have the high head of someone that is used to giving
orders and the sharp eyes of grown-up school head boy; someone
that have perfect the style of squinting his eyes before making
them quick and hard judgements. I greet him like any other
blazo
when he come into the kitchen. He smile. One of them
tight smiles that Londoners flash at you and leave you not sure
if they want to smile at you or if they have change they mind.
He pick cup and walk to sink to drink water. It's his step that
tell everything – here is head boy that has turn into proud hard
man as he take on the world and take stranded likkle girls like
Tsitsi under his wing. Many Zimbabweans in London only care
for they stomachs and will never do that kind of thing. Maybe he
was also Boy Scout.
After getting bread out of his bag and putting it in cupboard,
Aleck head upstairs to his room.
Shingi appear just when me I am thinking that I should go back
to Paul and Sekai. I'm with Tsitsi in the kitchen. He is very hard
to recognise after such long. His boots is covered with mud.
Looking through his thick-rim owl glasses he blink in funny way
when he see me. Whatever Harare North have do to him, I have
no way to tell. At the bottom of his glasses' left lens, one crack
that once try to scream out in all directions is lying frozen and
all them glass fragments holding in place.
At first we don't know what to say to each each. Then he smile
and prod prod me with his stump finger in that playful way of
his; that is his way of show fondness because Shingi don't do hugs.
It feel funny when he stab stab you with his stump finger. They
have to cut Shingi's finger at hospital after he get bite by puff
adder at school. That's why he have stump.
The meal that Shingi cook me is the wickedest. He is in good
form because he is happy I'm here. Soon we is alone in the kitchen
and the comrade is laughing and telling me food jokes about what
I should eat when I'm in Harare North.
He also tell me not to worry about Paul and Sekai; I can sleep
here tonight.
We can share my bed, Shingi say. Now he tell me about how
he always go trawling through them neighbourhood's bins
and skips finding good things that wasteful Londoners throw
away.
Most of them things you can fix if they is not already in perfect
working order, Shingi say with big ginger. That's how he find his
mattress.
All evening Shingi is in form. Everyone in the house is feeling
intimidate by our loud friendship – big laughs, banging of kitchen
cupboards and clanking of pans as Shingi wash things. Tsitsi and
Aleck who have one room each upstairs stop coming out now.
Farayi is in they room, keeping to his corner since I tell him that
he talk too much.
Then Aleck come down with headmaster kind of face and tell
us to keep the noise down.
When we start eating the
sadza
and stew that Shingi have
cook, we have already whip each each into big happiness and
end up doing some old food game that we play years ago at
school. But we have to whisper to each each so others don't
get disturbed. The game – you have two chances to guess
the original source where the food come from and if you fail
then the other person possess you and can order you to bring
him food for morning break period until he fail to make right
guess.
Food have always been our game. It is also source of trouble.
And the reason Shingi always lose the game at school is because
me I always know where the food he bring is coming from.
That's because when we is ten, I discover everything about
the food habits at his home. It happen when we come back
from school with Chamu. Chamu have just become Shingi's
new stepbrother in funny way because Shingi's second mother
have now decide to get married for second time to bus
conductor who have already move in. The conductor don't
want to make more babies because he have his son Chamu
and is only interested in front bum – that's the kind of mouth
the whole township throw around. Me I am in habit of leaving
Shingi and his new brother at they doorstep because Shingi's
mother, MaiShingi, don't like me because I make Chamu and
Shingi do mischief. But one day, because MaiShingi have gone
somewhere, Shingi take me inside they ground-floor flat to
hang out. And then Chamu discover that his mother have
forget to lock the door to she bedroom.