Hard & Fast (Rules to Break #1) (10 page)

I wave his compliment away. “It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not. Stop putting yourself down. This is good and you know it.”

“You really think so?” I ask.

He nods, and I can’t help smiling. “I hoped so, but you never really know, and I thought maybe I was too close to the project to really see it, and—” I realize I’m rambling and force myself to shut up.

“I can see you in Calla,” he says, referencing my protagonist.

“I hope to play her,” I admit. “I mean, I know that’s a long shot, but that’s my dream.”

“You act?”

I realize my slip-up, and my face goes red-hot.

“You do!” he says, sitting up so the sheets pool around his hips. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

I shrug. “I didn’t want you think I wanted anything from you.”

“Is that where you were that day you wouldn’t answer your phone?”

“I was at an audition,” I admit. “I didn’t get the role. Or any other role I’ve tried out for in the last century,” I add. “So I think calling myself an actor is a
bit
of a stretch.”

“You’re doing it again.”

I clamp my mouth shut. He’s right.

“How long have you been doing this?” he asks.

“I took drama class in eleventh grade as an easy elective but it turned out I really liked it. And I was good at it too. I got the role of Maria in the West Side Story, and the next year I played Titania in A Midsummer’s Night Dream. But then I came to L.A., and I realized it was a big fish in a small pond situation. That’s why I took this job. I just wasn’t ready to admit to my parents that they were right.”

“Right about what?” he asks.

“That I wouldn’t make it. They wanted me to take over the family business.”

“The hardware store,” he says.

I smile, realizing he remembered. “Yeah. I just couldn’t imagine spending my whole life doing that, you know?”

“You just have to keep at it. Someone is bound to take notice of your talent sometime.”

I think of the last audition I did before applying for this job and laugh.

“What?” Cole asks.

“Let’s just say that person won’t be Sanders Wilton.”

“The director?” Cole asks, confused.

“He asked me to take my shirt off and
join him on the sofa
,” I say, mocking his voice, “and I told him to go fuck himself.”

Cole snorts laughter. “You didn’t.”

“I did.”

He laughs again. “Well good. He deserved it.” When his laughter ebbs, he looks at me for a long time, his face suddenly serious. “You’re going to prove them wrong, Rose.” He holds up my notebook. “This, this is going somewhere.
You
are going somewhere.”

And for the first time in months, I actually believe he’s right.

~

We kiss and touch and talk and make love. We drift between sleep and awake, and make love again. The world narrows to this room, this space, the charged air between us.

I don’t know when we actually fall asleep, but when the sun slants in through the windows, dread coils in my stomach. I wish we could spend a hundred more hours locked away in this hotel room together. But outside, the world waits. We have to leave sometime. I just hope that when we do, at least a piece of what we’ve discovered inside it comes with us.

Chapter Eleven

Cole falls asleep almost as soon as our return flight takes off, and I open my laptop. With another fourteen-hour flight ahead of me, I should be relishing the chance to work on my screenplay. 

I
am
relishing the chance to work on it. On top of that, I’ve just spent the most amazing week ever in the most beautiful city ever with the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on. So I open up my Word document and my Scrivener program. And stare at them. I’ve been so happy. No, I
am
so happy. There’s no reason to think that what happens in Prague stays in Prague.

Except for the fact that I can’t stop thinking that’s what’s going to happen.

I force myself to focus. There’s a scene near the end of Act 2 that’s been niggling at me for weeks. I’ve been ignoring it, hoping the answer will come to me.

I look across at Cole, then pull my eyes back to the screen. I have plenty time to make this scene shine.
Get it together, Rose.

But I don’t. I spend a few hours pretending to work before I switch over to pretending to nap and then, finally, I give in to what I really want to do, which is stare out of the window and analyze every moment of the trip.

Meanwhile, Cole sits next to me with his head of dark waves pressed into the seatback, his dark lashes fanned across his cheek, his chest rising and falling evenly in a deep sleep, as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. I wonder what’s going through his beautiful head. Whatever it is, he’s obviously not too worried about it.

I frown at the churned clouds outside the window.

The instant we’re off the plane, it’s chaos. Paparazzi surround us, shoving cameras and microphones into our faces and shouting over top of each other to be heard. Cole shields me from the crush of bodies and reaches for my hand. Our fingers just brush before someone yells, “Everyone move!” and beefy security guards surround Cole. I’m pushed back. Our eyes meet briefly through the crowd.

“I’ll get the bags,” I mouth, and then he’s ushered away, undoubtedly to be stuffed into the waiting car I ordered. I sigh and watch him go, feeling more and more like Prague is nothing but a distant memory.

~

When I finally get back to the house, I’m so exhausted from the flight and not sleeping and my own scattered thoughts that I drop our bags in the doorway, drag myself to my room, and fall into bed.

The minute I wake up, I know I’ve slept way later than I meant to. Early morning sun blares in through the blinds. I stretch up and glance at my phone. I’ve missed a call from my mom, but my head’s not together enough to deal with speaking to her. I make a note to call her tomorrow. Maybe I can have a few more auditions lined up by then. I shouldn’t feel like I have to have them as armor against her disapproval, but the fact I had that thought at all proves that I do feel that way. I just have to make it and prove her wrong, that’s all.

The house is quiet and when I stick my head out of my door, Cole’s bedroom is open and empty. I try to remember his schedule for today and then go check my planner. He’s on set. Which means he’s definitely gone all day.

I check the time and flit into the bathroom. If I’m quick I can make acting class. Which I do, but after I’m finished and I step out into the blinding sunshine on the baking hot sidewalk, I’m at a loose end. I’ve had to forcibly evict Cole from my head for the entire class, but now that I’m done, I have a thought. I dig in my purse for my phone and make a quick call to Cole’s agent. We’ve spoken several times before so I could make arrangements for him and I don’t think it’ll seem at all unusual if I ask if he can get me onto the set without bothering Cole.

I’m right. Within minutes I get a call back saying there’s a pass waiting for me at a checkpoint. I grab a cab and sit in the back, nerves fizzing in my stomach. I haven’t felt this uncertain and excited and worried and delighted since I was in high school. It’s ridiculous and embarrassing how much I want to see him.

The whole ride, I’m tied up in knots staring out of the window without really seeing anything. Until we reach the checkpoint at the edge of the lot and I realize I’m actually going to do this. I’ve seen all of Cole’s films—who hasn’t? —but seeing him on set, actually at work, is something else. The thought of it is just as exciting as getting him on his own later.

I pay the cab driver, and the security guard hands over my pass as if I belong here, no questions asked. It’s a total thrill to walk straight past him with a confident smile even though the whole place just looks like a massive parking lot with huge warehouses towering above me and spreading back as far as I can see. I know where I’m headed though—Cole’s agent told me where he’d be.

A golf cart zips past and startles me. God, I’m so nervous. And I wish I’d worn better shoes for walking. My strappy sandals are starting to rub.

Eventually, I find the right place. But the doors are all closed, there are no windows, and I feel awkward and unsure. After a few minutes of standing outside in the shade cast by the huge building, a door opens and a girl runs out clutching a clipboard. I grab the door before it closes again and peer inside. There are lights everywhere. Lights and cameras and about three thousand miles of cables all over the floor. There are people running around and people pointing and talking to each other and people hanging around tables at the back that are strewn with water bottles and the leftover remains of lunch. I can’t see Cole anywhere.

But this is definitely the right place, so I edge my way into the building and make my way to the tables at the back. It’s hot and I doubt anyone will mind if I help myself to some water. There are a couple of girls picking over some cherry tomatoes. I smile politely and they do the same and then turn back to each other. They’re both dressed in dishevelled, dirt-marked clothes and one of them has a huge fake blood stain on her blouse so I think they must be extras because otherwise they’ve both made some seriously strange wardrobe choices today.

I take a bottle of water and step back from the table, trying to blend into the background. I’d love to see Cole at work before he realizes I’m here.

One of the extras sighs loudly. “Do you think he’s ever coming out of there? I mean, it’s not like I don’t appreciate getting this job, but it’s not like we’re getting paid any extra if he takes the whole day, is it?”

The other girl checks her phone. “It’s been two hours. But what’s anybody going to do about it? It’s not exactly like any of us can go and knock on the door and ask when feels like coming out. He’s Cole Dean. He can pretty much do what he wants.”

They both glance over in the direction of a trailer on the far left side of the building. Cole’s in there? I run my finger down the plastic edges of my pass, my heart beating quicker. No one would question it if his assistant needed to talk to him. I could stroll right over there and no one would think anything of it.

“Yeah, he can do what he wants. Or
who
he wants,” the bloodstain girl says with a smile. The other girl laughs and I can’t help but stiffen.

“She’s stunning though, isn’t she? I’d probably do Kenzie Cruise myself if I got the chance.”

I have to make sure my head doesn’t snap up to stare. He’s in the trailer with his ex-girlfriend? And he’s been in there for over two hours already? Jealousy stabs straight through me.

“Well I wish they’d get the big make-up and get-back-together over and done with. I’m supposed to be at work at eight tonight,” the girl with dirt all over her face says.

“Better call in sick. You know what it’s like when Cole Dean gets a girl in his trailer.”  They move along the table, picking at the rest of the leftovers, but I don’t move along with them to hear more. I’ve heard enough, and I’m certain my face is burning as bright as my hair. I feel sick and totally embarrassed thinking about what I did the first time I went into his trailer, and about what a fool I’m making of myself right now.

I head straight for the door, but people start calling out and suddenly lights are flicking on and off, cameras are moving and someone yells “action”. I’m stuck at the back of the room, now thrown into darkness, and I can’t leave. So I have to stand there for the next hour while they film little snippets over and over again and I can’t even enjoy being able to watch, can’t pay attention to any of it. Cole’s trailer door doesn’t open.

At first, I just feel humiliated, but the more time I have to spend standing here, the angrier I get. I’m worth so much more than this. I stood up to my parents and left Illinois to make the career I want. To do what
I
want to do with my life. That plan didn’t include being at the beck and call of some spoilt millionaire playboy and it didn’t include being miserable and embarrassed.

He can’t have my heart. I’m taking it back and my body with it.

Cole’s been in his trailer with Kenzie for nearly four hours by the time I’m able to slip off the set. I throw the pass on the floor and get a cab home. My feet hurt and I’m hot and tired and furious that I let him make me feel this way. I should never have let what happened in Prague go to my head.

Back at Cole’s house, I try to calm down, but everything irritates me. His huge house, all glass and leather. His deep blue pool, the water flat and still in the evening heat. His bedroom, his kitchen—there isn’t anywhere I can go without it reminding me what I’ve done.

The security lights come on outside when it starts to go dark. And by the time the headlights of Cole’s car swing up the long drive, I don’t know who I hate more—myself or him.

My stomach tenses when the front door closes, and not in the good way. I hear him sigh, realize that he’s moving slowly as he drops his keys and kicks his shoes off. I move into the hallway and flip a light on. His hair is all mussed up as though he hasn’t even looked in a mirror. He’s wearing dirty jeans and a ripped white T-shirt that looks like it got singed in a fire. He’s still wearing the clothes from the shoot. If it ever even took place.

“Hey, Rose,” he says, all tired and quiet and like he’s glad to see me. He smiles and saunters forward, reaching for my waist.

Which makes me so much angrier than I was before.

“Don’t bother,” I snap, twisting away from him. I’d half thought I could keep my cool. But I really can’t. And why should I? Why should Cole get what he wants just like he always does, just like he always has? Beautiful girlfriends and whoever else he wants just at the snap of his fingers.

His face registers genuine shock. Of course it does. Cole Dean doesn’t get told no.

“What’s the matter?” he asks.

“Nothing that hasn’t been the matter all along,” I say.

He shakes his head. “Rose, I’ve had a really long day and I’m not in the mood for cryptic bullshit so if you’re pissed about something, I’m sorry, but just be straight about it so I can go to bed.”

For a second I can’t speak, I’m so enraged. He held my hand, he invited me to sleep in his goddamn bed. I told him about my
screenplay
.

“You want it straight?” My voice is shaking. “Fine. I’ve got a job where I don’t know where I stand from one minute to the next, a boss who pays me to live here so he can fuck me, who then spends a week with me in Prague acting like he’s not my boss at all, and then we get back here and—”

Cole’s run his hand through his hair while I’ve been talking, but now his head snaps up. “If you don’t know where you stand that’s because you spend so much time thinking about where you stand you can’t stop and just enjoy yourself. God, Rose, does it really matter?”

My hands clench. I’m so wound up I’m out of breath. “Does it
matter
?” Did he hear anything I said in Prague about what I want to do with my life? About how much I’ve compromised myself sleeping with him? “No, Cole, I can see that it doesn’t matter at all. Why should you care what happens to some girl you hired as a PA? What does it matter if I never get a role, or if everyone finds out I fuck for pay? Maybe I
should
just start giving out blow jobs for bit parts.”

He’s staring at me now with a deep crease between his eyebrows. “Where the hell is this coming from? Nobody’s asking you to do anything you don’t want to do. I’ve never done anything you didn’t want. And if you want to stop now, then by all means, just tell me.”

I will the hurt not to show on my face. The worst thing is, he’s right. I let him do this to me. I wanted him. I haven’t moved an inch in the hallway, and neither has he, but suddenly I feel like I have to get away from him.

“Well considering what happened today on set, I think we had better stop, don’t you?” I spit out. I stalk off into the kitchen just as I see Cole’s face change.

“Wait, what? How do you know about that?” He follows me into the kitchen and it strikes me just how much space he takes up. The muscles in his arms are bunched. Before, he looked tired. Now he looks pissed. “Is there a story out? Did someone find out about this?” His eyes are dark. Furious. And I’m furious right back, because he’s going to make me admit I was there. As if I don’t feel pathetic enough.

“I have no idea if there’s a story out,” I say. “And I don’t really give a shit. I came down to the set to talk to you about something and you were in your trailer with her for
hours
. Did you think no one would notice? Did you think with that many people on the set some of them wouldn’t be talking about it?”