Hard-Luck Diggings: The Early Jack Vance, Volume One (23 page)

From
The Trog Story
, a daily syndicated feature by Harlan B. Temple, April 31:

“Today
I saw the hundred thousandth trog push his way up out of the bowels of the Alps; everywhere in the world people are asking, where will it stop? I certainly have no answer. This tremendous migration, unparalleled since the days of Alaric the Goth, seems only just now shifting into high gear. Two new rifts have opened into the Kreuzberg; the trogs come shoving out in close ranks, faces blank as custard, and only God knows what is in their minds.

“The
camps—there are now six, interconnected like knots on a rope—extend down the hillside and into the Kreuzertal. Tarpaulins over the treetops give the mountainside, seen from a distance, the look of a lawn with handkerchiefs spread out to dry.

“The
food situation has improved considerably over the past three days, thanks to the efforts of the Red Cross, CARE, and FAO. The basic ration is a mush of rice, wheat, millet or other cereal, mixed with carrots, greens, dried eggs, and reinforced with vitamins; the trogs appear to thrive on it.

“I cannot
say that the trogs are a noble, enlightened, or even ingratiating race. Their cultural level is abysmally low; they possess no tools, they wear neither clothing nor ornaments. To their credit
it must be said that they are utterly inoffensive and mild; I have never witnessed a quarrel or indeed seen
a trog exhibit anything but passive obedience.

“Still
they rise in the hundreds and thousands. What brings them forth? Do they flee a subterranean Attila, some pandemonic Stalin? The linguists who have been studying the trog speech are close-mouthed, but I have it from a highly informed source that a report will be published within the next day or so…”

Report to the Assembly of the U.N., May 4, by V.G. Hendlemann, Coordinator for the Committee of Associated Anthropologists:

“I will state the tentative conclusions to
which this committee has arrived. The processes and inductions which have led to these conclusions are outlined in the appendix to this report.

“Our preliminary survey of the troglodyte language has convinced a majority of us that the trogs are probably the descendants of a group of European cave-dwellers who either by choice or by necessity took up underground residence at least fifty thousand, at most two hundred thousand, years
ago.

“The trog which we see today is a result of evolution and mutation, and represents adaptation to the special conditions under which the trogs have existed. He is quite definitely of the species
homo sapiens,
with a cranial capacity roughly identical to that of surface man.

“In our conversations with the trogs we have endeavored to ascertain the cause of the migration. Not one of the trogs makes himself completely clear on the subject, but we have been given to understand that the great caves which the race inhabited have been stricken by a volcanic convulsion and are being gradually filled with lava. If this be the case the trogs are seen to become literally ‘displaced persons’.

“In their former home the trogs subsisted on fungus grown in shallow ‘paddies’,
fertilized by their own wastes, finely pulverized coal, and warmed by volcanic heat.

“They have no grasp of ‘time’ as we understand the word. They have only the sparsest
traditions of the past and are unable to conceive of a future further removed than two
minutes. Since they exist in the present, they neither expect, hope, dread, nor otherwise take cognizance of what possibly may befall them.

“In spite of their deficiencies of cultural background, the trogs appear to have a not discreditable native intelligence. The committee agrees that a troglodyte child reared in ordinary surface surroundings, and given a typical education, might well become a valuable citizen, indistinguishable from any other human being except by his appearance.”

Excerpt from a speech by Porfirio Hernandez, Mexican delegate to the U.N. Assembly, on May 17:

“…We have ignored this matter too long. Far from being a scientific curiosity or a freak, this is a very human problem, one of the biggest
problems of our day and we must handle it as such. The trogs are pressing
from the ground at an ever-increasing rate; the Kreuzertal, or Kreuzer Valley, is inundated with trogs as if by a flood. We have heard reports, we have deliberated, we have made solemn noises, but the fact remains that every one of us is sitting on his hands. These people—we must call them people—must be settled somewhere permanently; they must be made self-supporting. This hot iron must be grasped; we fail in our responsibilities otherwise…”

Excerpt from a speech, May 19, by Sir Lyandras Chandryasam, delegate from India:

“…My esteemed colleague from Mexico has used brave words; he exhibits a humanitarianism that is unquestionably praiseworthy. But he puts forward no positive program. May I ask how many trogs have come to the surface, thus to be cared for? Is not the latest figure somewhere short of a million? I would like to point out that in India alone
five million people yearly die of malnutrition or preventable disease; but no one jumps up here in the assembly
to cry for a crusade to help these unfortunate victims of nature. No, it is this strange race, with no claim upon anyone, which has contributed nothing to the civilization of the world, which now we feel has first call upon our hearts and purse-strings. I say, is not this a paradoxical circumstance…”

From a speech, May 20, by Dr. Karl Byrnisted, delegate from Iceland:

“…Sir Lyandras Chandryasam’s emotion is understandable, but I would like to remind him that the streets of India swarm with millions upon millions of so-called sacred cattle and apes, who eat what and where they wish, very possibly the food to keep five million persons alive. The recurrent famines in India could be relieved, I believe, by a rationalistic dealing with these parasites, and by steps to make the new birth-control clinics popular, such as a tax
on babies. In this way, the Indian government, by vigorous methods, has it within its power to
cope with its terrible problem. These trogs, on the other hand, are completely unable to help themselves; they are like babies flung fresh into a world where even the genial sunlight kills them…”

From a speech, May 21, by Porfirio Hernandez, delegate from Mexico:

“I have been challenged to propose a positive program for dealing with the trogs…I feel that as an activating principle, each member of the U.N. agree to accept a number of trogs proportionate to its national wealth, resources, and density of population…Obviously the exact percentages will have to be thrashed out elsewhere…I hereby move the President of the Assembly appoint such a committee, and instruct them to prepare such a recommendation, said committee to report within two weeks.”

(Motion defeated, 20 to 35)

The Trog Story
, June 2, by Harlan B. Temple:

“No matter how many times I walk through Trog Valley, the former Kreuzertal, I never escape a feeling of the profoundest bewilderment and awe. The trogs number now well over a million; yesterday they chiseled open four new openings into the outside world, and they are pouring out at the rate of thousands every hour. And everywhere is heard the question, where will it stop? Suppose the earth is a honeycomb, a hive, with more trogs than surface men?

“Sooner or later our organization will break down; more trogs will come up than it is within our power to feed. Organization already has failed to some extent. All the trogs are getting at least one meal a day, but not enough clothes, not enough shelter is being provided. Every day hundreds die from sunburn. I understand that the Old-Clothes-for-Trogs drive has nowhere hit its quota; I find it hard to comprehend. Is there no feeling of concern or sympathy for these people
merely because they do not look like so many chorus boys and screen starlets?”