Hard Luck Hank: Basketful of Crap (22 page)

“Wow,” Delovoa said.

I stood with Garm and Delovoa on the
roof of a building about fifteen blocks from the Portal. There were now five
Therezians raised like monuments in the distance.

“So it’s the Gandrine doing it?”
Garm asked.

“Yeah. But there’s no way they
built the Portal. It’s huge.”

“I take it they’re the only ones
who could survive being so close to it.”

“I almost got turned inside-out
being down the street,” I said. “I wonder if they’re naked because their
clothes are destroyed coming through.”

“No,” Delovoa said. “Inanimate
objects are shipped all the time through Portals. I think those guys are from
their home world. They don’t wear clothes there. They don’t need them.”

“The planet Thereze is blockaded by
all the empires,” Garm argued. “You’re saying someone set up a Portal on their home
world and are marching Therezians through?”

Delovoa shrugged.

“There’s only a thousand off-world
Therezians in the whole galaxy. Everyone knows what an incredible fluke it is
to have Wallow here—and everyone knows where the other 999 currently are. It’s
not as if they can hide.”

“I saw them come through right
after each other,” I said.

“Which again makes it sound like
they were going through one Portal located at one place.”

“Such as on Thereze,” Garm
finished.

We all pondered this.

“They don’t have genitalia,”
Delovoa mentioned.

“Why does that matter?” I asked.

“Matters to them. How do they make
babies?”

“What do we do?” Garm asked.

“There’s five new Therezians here
and maybe more on the way,” Delovoa started. “To say something is going on is
an understatement. I talked about breaking galactic treaties before, but if the
corporation has really taken inhabitants from Thereze, this station will be
attacked and destroyed by any number of empires. Why would the corporation risk
intergalactic condemnation bringing them here?”

“Can you contact the corporation,
Hank?” Garm asked nonsensically.

“What? They tried to slaughter me
and everyone I knew. We’re not exactly on good terms.”

“No offense, but I don’t think they
tried to kill you or they would have. I think they wanted to use you—which they
did. Repeatedly,” she said. “Maybe you can get an idea what they’re up to.”

“If they really want to get rid of
all potential resistance, that would include me.”

Garm kept trying to plead her case.

“You said you walked past a bunch
of soldiers and their vehicles on the way to the Portal and they did nothing.
If there was any area they were going to protect, it would be that.”

“I think I’m going to tell the
General,” I said.

“Why?” Garm demanded. “You just
heard what Delovoa said. You’ll force him to attack us.”

“Do you think we’re going to stop five
Therezians, two Gandrine, and a corporation with more tanks and soldiers than
we can count? The three of us? And before you answer, I would like to point out
that Delovoa has never been in a fight.”

“Not that I’ve won,” Delovoa
amended.

“If anyone has a chance of doing
anything it’s the Navy. They got warships out there.”

“Exactly, and they’re going to
direct their guns at us,” Garm said.

“I don’t believe that. The Navy
still wants to use the telescopes. This base is valuable to them. They got a
disintegrator here someplace and they probably want to know what the
corporation is doing even more than we do. If I learned anything from my gang
days it’s you take your friends as you can get them. The General and I have a
history of working together,” I said.

Upon reflection:

“Sort of.”

“Did you see the new Therezians?” Ioshiyn
asked.

“No, I totally missed five
seventy-five foot giants tripping over buildings,” I said.

“I thought there were eight of
them.”

“Great.”

“So your boots are done,” he said,
handing them to me.

They didn’t look like much. Kind of
dark brown and almost floppy. They came up to my ankles. Normally I got boots
as stiff and thick as possible so my weight wouldn’t tear them apart. These
were almost like socks. They didn’t have as much grip as boots but Ioshiyn said
I could put some glue on the soles and periodically scrape it off and reapply.

“Will these protect me if one of
those Therezians steps on my foot?”

“No, it’s just hair. It will
protect against punctures but that’s about it. Besides, what good will it do
you to have your feet shielded if the rest of you is mashed?”

“They’ll have something to bury at
least.”

The Gandrine still weren’t back at
my apartment. I suppose they were pulling more Therezians out of the ether.

“Therezians?” the General asked, in
his approximation of shock, which was very similar to his approximation of
sadness or levity, and very much similar to his usual state of anger.

“Yup. Sorry I couldn’t wait for
your secure tele to arrive, but I thought this was pretty important. I don’t
know how many there are now, but I think at last count there were eight. Not
including Wallow. And they’re big.”

“All Therezians are big.”

“Yeah, but I think a few of these
could step over Wallow without bending their knees.”

“Where did they come from?”

“First off, I have to say that all
the corporations are really just one corporation. It’s the same group
controlling all of them. They were only fake fighting with each other to thin
out Belvaille’s population. As for the Therezians, the corporation is bringing
them with their own Portal. Someone,” I said, wanting to protect Delovoa,
“suggested they were coming from Thereze.”

“That’s impossible. That planet is
under constant surveillance. No ships are allowed to land or take off.”

“Well, you did a fantastic job of
that.”

“What do they plan on using them
for?”

I did my best exasperated shrug,
but realized he probably couldn’t see me on the tele.

“They’re stepping all over buildings
right now.”

“Why are you telling me this?” the
General asked suspiciously.

“The way I figure it, if you want
to keep this station, you better get here and shut down that Portal. If any
more Therezians come through you’re not going to be able to do anything no
matter how many warships you got.”

“And what is Belvaille to us?”

I cleared my throat and went over
the sheet Garm had prepared for me.

“In accordance with Article 7 as an
Independent Protectorate of the Colmarian Confederation, we invoke the Common
Defense Framework which provides for the security and intervation in case of
attack or occupation.”

“Intervention,” he corrected.

“Whatever.”

“That could take weeks or even
months to secure a response,” he said.

“If there’s fifty Therezians here
by that time, what’s your response going to be? Sympathy?”

The General seemed to chew this
over.

“A landing party will arrive within
a week to appraise the situation. Keep me informed of any major updates.”

Never thought I’d be happy to hear
the Navy was bringing troops.

The next morning, when I stepped
into my living room I saw six soldiers standing there, rifles in their hands.

They were corporate. Opaque helmets
and green body armor.

I froze, waiting for them to make
the first move.

They didn’t.

“Hello?” I asked.

Tense moments passed.

“Can I help you?”

Still no answer.

“How is it everyone has the key to
my apartment?” I asked rhetorically.

Curiosity and stupidity fought for
possession of my brain and they both won. I walked warily to the nearest soldier.
When he didn’t respond, I began unfastening his helmet.

I took the helmet off and its face
was exactly the same as the one that had been in Delovoa’s basement. Just less
dead.

However its eyes were staring
straight into mine.

It was an intense look.

I took a step to the side and the
eyeballs followed me. When I took another step so that the eyes could no longer
follow, it turned its head slightly.

It was probably the creepiest thing
I had ever seen.

A Colmarian had been constructed to
be a robot. It was disgusting. I felt revolted being surrounded by them. All of
them with identical faces? All of them with staring eyes?

No wonder this was outlawed.

I walked through them and they
adjusted their heads as needed, but otherwise didn’t move.

I carefully put on my vest and more
carefully put on my autocannon.

Facing them, I opened my front door
and backed outside.

When I turned, I saw an APC, scores
of soldiers, and two tanks in the street with their enormous turrets aimed
right at me. The Gandrine apparently wanted no part of this and were not
present.

“So this is it,” I said.

The tanks were huge. I was seeing
them in full daylight and they were just monstrous. I knew I couldn’t shoot
through them. My best bet was to load a canister round and try and take out
some soldiers before they fired those guns.

I needed to act fast as I was only going
to get one shot if I was lucky.

I quickly selected a canister round,
pulled back the bolt, braced myself against the door, and fired.

Kachooom!

I was on my back somehow, even
being braced by my apartment. My gun was on my chest, but I managed to get to
my knees.

I cycled the bolt, ejecting the
spent shell and reloaded.

I saw a number of soldiers had
fallen but I noticed something very odd.

I was still alive.

The tanks had not fired. The
soldiers had not fired.

The ones who were injured and not
dead seemed to be fitfully trying to resume their positions. Like they didn’t
know or care they were bleeding to death or otherwise mutilated.

A large electric whir sounded and
the rear of the APC slowly lowered.

I waited for something to jump out.

Nothing did.

“Um. Am I supposed to go in there?”
I asked the people I just shot.

I took a few steps forward. I still
wasn’t dead. I took a few more steps.

The tank cannons swiveled slightly
to keep level with my chest.

I picked up my pace and walked into
the street, the tank turrets following me the whole way.

I saw soldiers who were gurgling
blood and didn’t seem to mind. Some were on the ground, too crippled to stand,
but who kept trying anyway.

“Sorry about…” I started, but I
wasn’t sure who I would be speaking to.

One soldier whose leg was badly
damaged kept falling down. I stowed my autocannon and helped the soldier to its
feet, trying to lean it against the tank. It reacted as if I wasn’t there and
tried to move back to its original position, only to fall down again.

I gave up and climbed into the back
of the armored personnel carrier, which was filled with empty seats.

The door closed and I wondered if I
was making a terrible mistake. But it couldn’t be worse than being shot at
point blank range by two tank cannons.

I hoped.

The APC stopped in front of a warehouse
in the southeast. The back door of the vehicle lowered and I got out.

There was no one to greet me.

I walked into the building. Inside
there were boxes and soldiers and Naked Guy.

He stood some distance away,
reading, and had not yet acknowledged me.

“Hi,” I yelled to him, staying
close to the door. “Sorry about the soldiers. You should have given them a note
or something. I wasn’t sure what they wanted at first.”

He looked at me briefly but didn’t
respond. I walked closer to Naked Guy and saw he had quite a lot of papers. Stacks.
It was an inefficient luxury on a space station. Paper was heavy and bulky, two
properties that made it extremely expensive to ship.

“Hi,” I said again. I had my
autocannon ready in front of me, but unloaded. I had taken the shell out during
the ride and put it back in the magazine.

He stood up straight, putting away
his papers, and looked at me with his black eyes.

“You spoke to the Navy recently.
What did you discuss?”

“You know. This and that.”

I had been joking—well, lying—to
the General about my tele being monitored, but maybe the corporation could
after all.

“What did you discuss?” He asked it
again as if I had said nothing.

“Just current events. Nothing
special.”

“What did you discuss?”

I snickered.

“What my favorite restaurants are.”

“What did you discuss?”

“Are you going to keep asking me
the same thing? We talked about Ginland glocken. I think we have a chance of
winning a game this year.”

“What did you discuss?”

“I’m not sure if you’re aware of
this, but your corporation attacked me and killed…a lot of people. I don’t feel
like I owe you any explanations.”

“What did you discuss?”

“Alright. Well, it’s been great
talking to you. I think I’m going to leave.”

“That would not be wise,” he said.

I had been brought here unharmed,
but those tanks could have easily fired. I was also now deep in corporate
territory. I wouldn’t get away unless he allowed me.

“And you want to know what the Navy
talked to me about? They talked about what was going on here.”

“What did you discuss?”

I sighed.

“What do you want me to say?
There’s Therezians here. They know you’re one corporation.”

“What did you discuss?”

“Rainbows! Sunshine! Happiness and
teardrops! When are you going to believe me?”

“When you stop lying.”

“How do you know I’m lying?”

“Your eyes. Your breathing. Your
heart rate. Your movements. Your skin.”

Hmm.

“All that stuff can be faked,” I
said in my worst lie ever.

“What did you discuss?”

“They’re concerned.”

“What did you discuss?”

“How do I know you won’t attack us if
I tell you?”

“I have no need.”

“Are you trying to keep this city
free from the Navy? Is that why you have the Therezians?”

“No. What did you discuss?”

“Just…for them to come protect us.”

“When will they come?”

“I don’t know!”

“When will they come?”

“Like a week. That’s all he said.”

Naked Guy finally seemed to be
satisfied. His expression didn’t change but at least he didn’t repeat himself.

“Why does your corporation have all
these Therezians?” I asked.

“To give them away.”

“To who? Gangs?”

“Groups across the Colmarian
Confederation.”

“For what purpose?”

“So they may fight each other.”

“Who? The Therezians? I don’t get
it.”

“Colmarians,” he said.

“Colmarians fight Colmarians?” It
seemed like the worst business plan I had ever heard.

“Yes.”

“But that’s nonsense. Colmarians
don’t fight Colmarians. What’s your real purpose?”

“This Confederation is constantly
fighting amongst itself. Just look at Belvaille.”

“Yeah, but we’re lowlifes. The rest
of the empire isn’t like us.”

“Of course they are. You are the
logical extension of what happens when restrictions are lifted. The Therezians
will similarly lift those restrictions for other parties who are dissatisfied
with one another.”

“So you’re going to sell one side a
Therezian and have him beat the snot out of another side?”

“No. I will give them a Therezian.
And give other sides tanks. And chemical weapons. And biological weapons.”

“What? Why? How will your
corporation possibly make money off that?”

“It won’t.”

“Well, I’m no corporate leader, but
I have to suspect they want to make something off their investments. Why else
are you here?”

“This is why I’m here.”

I shook my head.

“Who are your bosses then? They
can’t know you’re doing this.”

“There is only me,” he said.

“But you’re naked.”

He didn’t answer. He seemed to be
done with the conversation and went back to his papers.

I struggled with what I had been
told. It wasn’t logical at all.

“Why are you doing this? What is
the ultimate purpose?”

Without looking up he answered.

“I have never seen a galactic civil
war.”

“Civil war? What’s that have to do
with anything?”

He turned to me again.

“The Colmarian Confederation is too
big and too diverse to ever fight about one issue. Or even a dozen. But there
are thousands of petty hatreds and rivalries across the empire. They are only
held in check by the Navy and a relative power balance. By giving each side the
means to destroy the other, they will take the opportunity. And with so many
battles erupting, the Navy will be powerless to stop them all. Once they begin,
it will pull in neighboring systems and concerned parties. And even other
empires will see their chance to carve out pieces of the Colmarian
Confederation.”

I stood there in shock.

“But why? What do you hope to gain
from that?”

“I have never seen a galactic civil
war.”

“Millions of people could die.”

“No. I believe many billions will
die.”

“But how will you profit?”

“I have never seen a galactic civil
war.”

“Seen? That’s it? You’re doing this
because you haven’t seen it before?”

“Yes.”

I was dumbfounded. I was
lightheaded. I couldn’t feel my feet.

In my life on Belvaille, I had long
ago given up simple terms of right and wrong. No one got up every morning,
stretched, and said to themselves, “Time to do something bad.” People did what
they did for reasons. Usually really good reasons by their own reckoning, just
maybe not good reasons according to others. But this was horribly wrong.

“You’re…evil,” I managed.

“There is no such thing. If there
was, I would know.”

I didn’t know what to say. It was
just so out of my realm of understanding. Was it possible? Was this an ugly
joke?

He saw me stammering.

“Would you like to hear my story? I
haven’t told it in a long while.”

I made the briefest of nods.

“I was born ages ago on a primitive
world without writing or even language. We existed in small tribes and ate what
food we could scavenge from vegetation or carrion. After some time I noticed I
was different from everyone else. It wasn’t just that my eyes were unusual, but
much more. I did not eat, sleep, grow sick, tired, or age. I could do the same
things that I saw others do, but I could not experience them. I was like a
shadow, mimicking my people.”

“Due to my longevity, I eventually became
the chief and we prospered. We grouped with other tribes, eventually becoming a
nation. Over millennia we developed architecture, art, and all the sciences of
a learned species.”

“But I grew more and more
disenchanted. After so many generations I had seen everything they could
possibly do. They made the same mistakes over and over again no matter what I
counseled.”

“Finally I grew tired of it and
left my people to seek a solitary life. Occasionally, groups would come to
worship me or destroy me or otherwise harass me as a god or demon. I never
changed and they never changed.”

“When our star began to glow, I was
relieved. I knew that I would at last have rest. I had been with my people
since we lived in mud and straw and had seen them reach powered flight and
global communications. However, as a species, they had not advanced at all.”

“Our planet was destroyed by our
star. Obliterated completely.”

“Yet I somehow survived.”

“I floated through space for untold
eons, until the light from my dead star faded from view. It would have been so
much easier if I had gone insane. If I heard voices and saw visions, but I was
incapable of even that transformation.”

“I remained the same.”

“Eventually I was tugged into the orbit
of a planet. I broke through the atmosphere of a dead world and I waited. I
waited so long. Long enough for life to evolve and grow. Then once again I had
something to watch and interact with. For as monotonous as mortals inevitably
are, they are tremendously more interesting than barren rocks or space.”

“That is what I have done ever
since. Attempt to find things I haven’t seen or create them. I have never seen
a galactic civil war.”

When he was done I stood there
shaking. I knew what I had to do. But I wanted to confirm it.

“So you’re willing to kill billions
of people just to view something different?” I asked.

“Yes.”

I loaded an HE shell into my
autocannon as fast as I could. I felt it would do more damage than a canister
and wasn’t sure I could hit so small a target with an AP shell.

Kachooom!

I was on my back. I was paralyzed.
Not by the weight of the gun or the concussion, but by a thousand slivers of
steel stuck in my skin. I couldn’t move my face as the skin was frozen in place
by all the needles. My eyes were closed and I generally did not feel very good.

I just hoped that I had killed
Naked Guy.

Suddenly I heard a voice above me.

“Did you not understand my story?”

With overwhelming difficulty I
managed to crack one eyelid open. Naked Guy was staring down at me.

“If I was capable of dying,” he
said, “I would have killed myself billions of years ago.”