Hard to Love You (25 page)

On Thursday afternoon, Cole shows up at my house and helps me load up his car with everything that will fit. I’m leaving my car here because I don’t think it will make it down to Virginia. I’ll miss having my wheels but I look at the bigger picture. I’m going to start off completely fresh, no baggage from my past.

“Hey pretty girl.” Cole greets me when I open the door. He takes in my appearance and his face turns into pity. Something I do not want.

I push the door open to allow him entrance to the house. “Hey. You ready to get this show on the road?”

Cole stops in front of my bedroom door, “No, not really. I wish you weren’t leaving.” He turns to look at me and holds his hands up in surrender. “I know, I know. You have to do this.”

I pat his arm, walk into my room and hand him a bag. We work for the next two hours, loading his car and throwing away all the stuff that I no longer want; basically erasing my old life away. I only keep a few things that mean a lot to me. When we’ve finished I take one last look at the house, turn and climb into Cole’s car and we pull out of the driveway.

Once we’ve passed the state line into Delaware I feel a sense of calm and peace wash over me. Like I really did leave my past behind and nothing will come back to plague me. I know this isn’t true because I’m a part of the Cahills, no matter what has happened or will happen in the future, they are my family.

Cole pulls into the gas station, cuts the engine and then looks over at me. “Want anything?”

I shake my head no. He goes and fills the gas tank. When he gets back in I try to hand him money for the gas but he refuses. We pull back out on the highway and then I remember what I wanted to ask him.

“How do you know Lily?”

Cole takes his eyes off the road and looks over at me. A few, long minutes go by and the question still hangs in the air, unanswered.

“Ok, how about we play a game.” If he doesn’t want to tell me everything about her that’s fine, but he’s going to have to give me something. This might not answer all my questions but I’ll get the point.

“Alright. What kind of game?” Cole asks.

I reach up and lower the radio. “Twenty questions. You can only skip two.”

“Five questions but no detailed answers.” Cole retorts.

“Deal. I get to ask first.” I’ll take anything I can get at this point.

“Deal.”

I want to choose my questions carefully. I ponder for a few minutes. “How did you meet Lily?”

“At my Dad’s over the summer when we were younger.”

Interesting.

“Is Lily the girl from your past?”

“Yes.”

“Did you love her?”

Please God say no, how could anyone love that whore?

“Yes.”

Gag!

“What happened with you two?”

He doesn’t even hesitate, “Skip.”

I huff. “Fine. Do you still love her?”

“No.”

“Do you still talk to her?”

“Not since the day we broke up.”

Cole looks over at me quickly and then returns to watch the road. “Alright pretty girl, your turn.”

Ice Ice Baby
by Vanilla Ice starts to play in the background. I look over at Cole, eyebrows raised. He looks over at me and starts laughing. We both reach for the radio at the same time. Cole glances at me and then drops his hand. I turn the volume up and roll my window down, letting the wind whip my hair around.

Cole starts singing and I start laughing. Damn it feels nice to laugh.

“Ice Ice Baby.” Cole sings.

“Word to your mother.” I sing back the next verse.

We both start jamming and singing along as the miles tick by, farther from my past, and closer to my future.

Let’s Talk About Sex
by Salt-N-Pepa comes on next. This time it’s me that starts singing. Cole is cracking up from me being so animated.

“You’re deflecting. I know what you’re doing, pretty girl.” Cole yells over the radio and my singing. I just nod my head to the beat.

Another hour passes and many songs later my voice is hoarse from singing and I’m tired. I roll my window halfway up and rest my head against it.

“Don’t fall asleep on me now. We’re almost there.” Cole says.

I yawn. “Just follow the GPS. I’m only going to rest my eyes.”

The last thing I remember is hearing Hunter Hayes talking about somebody’s heartbreak.

Cole pats my leg, “Come on, pretty girl, we’re here.”

I yawn and stretch. I look around and I see Logan and Zeke coming down the front steps. I jump out of the car and run up to Zeke, throwing my arms around him.

“Hails.” Zeke says as he swings me around in a circle.

“I missed you.”

Zeke sets me back down on my feet. “I just saw you.”

“I know.” I look over at Logan, “Logan.”

Logan winks, “Hailey.” Then he reaches for me and pulls me in for a hug. I sigh in relief. I thought things were going to be really awkward for us.

I turn to Cole, “Zeke and Logan, you remember Cole, right?”

“Yeah.” Both Zeke and Logan say in unison. I walk around to the back of Cole’s car and start grabbing my things. The guys follow suit and within an hour all my things are officially in my new room in Bentley’s house.

All the guys and Bentley’s sister, Nikki, are sitting around the table, drinking beer. I pull up a seat next to them and try to include myself in the conversation. I’ve caught Cole and Nikki eyeing each other a few times from the table. They’d make a cute couple, better than him and the whore.

Hours later and I’ve managed to whip up some Chicken Pasta for the guys, Nikki and Bentley, who’s not long arrived home from work. I spill some sauce on my shirt so I run upstairs to go and change, when I open my bedroom door and glance at my bed, I see a bottle of cotton candy vodka with a pink bow and a little card attached to it. I walk over and pick up the card.

Pretty Girl,

Hope this gets you through your sleepless nights.

Love,

Cole

P.S. Don’t be a stranger. Call me anytime.

I’m teary eyed; I really am a lucky girl to have found Cole. I just wish our timing had been better.

Someone behind me clears their throat and it causes me to jump. “Jesus, you scared me.”

Cole takes a step inside my room and wraps his long, strong arms around me. “I’m gonna miss you. I know that probably sounds weird considering we haven’t known each other long.”

I sniffle, “I’m gonna miss you too.”

Cole kisses the top of my head. “I’m gonna head out. I want to make sure I get some shut eye before the gig tomorrow night.”

I wipe my nose with the back of my hand, “You can stay here with me. I really don’t want you driving this late.”

Cole sticks his hands in his front pockets, “That’s probably not a good idea.”

I throw my arms around him, knowing this is probably the last time I’ll see him at least for a while. “Thank you for all your help with everything, Cole. I owe you.”

Cole squeezes me a little tighter, “You’re welcome. Now fix that broken heart of yours and we’ll call it even.”

I walk Cole out to his car, standing off to the side as he starts it up and puts it in reverse. “Bye pretty girl.”

I wave goodbye. Then something hits me. Cole never asked me why I was moving and not staying. “Cole!” I yell.

Cole stops and sticks his head out of the window. “Yeah?”

“How come you never asked me why I’m moving?”

Cole hesitates for a minute. “Because I already know.” He sticks his head back in the car and backs out of the driveway. He beeps his horn as he drives away. I’m left standing here, wondering how the hell he already knows.

Cooper and I arrive home late on Saturday night; I’m so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open. I want a shower but it’ll have to wait. I walk into my room and pull my yellow t-shirt over my head and fall face first on to my bed. I take deep breath and immediately feel like throwing up. I can smell Lily on my bed, on my covers. Fucking Lily. I climb off the bed, walk to the hallway closet and grab the extra pillow and blanket that Hailey always made sure I had, in case anyone unannounced decided to stay. Hailey. Oh how I wish it was her that I could still smell. I throw the blanket down on the couch, followed by the pillow.

“What did that pillow and blanket ever do to you?” Jaylinn asks.

I whip around, she startled me. “Nothing.” I grumble and lay down the couch, covering my eyes in the crook of my elbow.

I hear Jaylinn walking around my living room but I’m not exactly sure where she is. “I heard about what happened.”

I growl. I don’t feel like talking about this shit.

“Masey,” Jaylinn rests her hand on my upper arm and pulls it away from my face. “I know how much you love her. I’m sorry that you’re hurting but I think this is best for the both of you.” I open my eyes and look over at her. “You both lost your way somehow, Masey.”

My hands ball into fists. I feel like beating the shit out of something but I know it’s only going to help for a few minutes and I think I learned my lesson when I punched my door.

“You know that saying? ‘If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was’?” Jaylinn asks as she stands.

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with me and Hailey? We’re over, Jay.” I say as my voice cracks.

“Oh Masey, it has everything to do with you.” Jaylinn kisses my cheek and then goes to seek out Cooper.

I reach over to the end table and turn off the light. It’s so dark; I can’t even see my hand in front of my face. This is how I lie until my brain finally shuts down and I fall into a dreamless sleep.

Cooper, Jaylinn and I decide to take our bikes over to our parent’s house today. I drag my feet all day until I can’t put it off any longer, Mom has already called looking for us.

“Masey!” Jaylinn yells from the front door. “Let’s go.”

I slip my wallet into the back pocket of my jeans, pick up my keys from the kitchen table and lock up the house. Jaylinn is wrapped around Cooper, both waiting on me. I slide my helmet on and fasten the strap under my chin, then I straddle my bike and start it up. This is one Sunday dinner I’m not looking forward to, even if Mom is cooking chicken cacciatore.

We pull into the driveway, turn off the bikes and I undo the strap under my chin. I climb off the bike and take a few steps to the house. The front door swings open and MacKenzie comes charging at me.

“What did you do, Mason?” MacKenzie yells at me. “You ran my best friend out of town!”

Out of town? What?

“What do you mean out of town?” I question her.

Hunter comes out of the house next and takes Ryder from MacKenzie’s arms. She doesn’t protest because now she is shoving me and pounding on my chest.

“She left, Mason.” MacKenzie cries. “I want my best friend back and I want my brother to fix this shit. You promised, Mase.”

I pull her into my arms and hold her until the fight starts to leave her. When I look around it’s just the two of us out here. Everything is so fucked up. Everything I touch, look at, put my hands on, goes to shit.

I drop my arms around MacKenzie. “I didn’t know that she left, Kenzie. I swear. Where did she go?”

MacKenzie glares at me. She has her arms crossed over her chest. “Why do you care? You are one of the reasons she left and her bitch of a sister is the other.”

“Tara? What did she do?”

MacKenzie huffs, “She got pregnant and is moving in with her mom, that’s what she did.”

Damn.
That reason alone would have Hailey living in her car if she had to. “Shit.” I run both my hands through my hair. “Where did she go?”

“To Benny’s. Six hours away. I can’t very well go and see her any time I’d like now. You did this.” MacKenzie walks and sits down on the front steps.

I take a seat next to her. “I was working on Hailey. I went over to your house on Sunday and things were kind of back to normal. Cooper and Jaylinn came over too; it was just like old times.” I look down the sidewalk. “Then she ran into Lily and Brittany at Walgreens and they fed her some bullshit that I have been cheating on her for a while. Hailey believed them. She destroyed all my stuff and then texted me that we needed to talk. I showed up at the house and saw everything that she did.” I clasp my hands together, in front of me. “I was pissed that she believed them without even talking to me first and then I saw the destruction she’d caused and I lost it. I stormed out and met some of the guys from the team at the bar and then …” My stomach knots at the thought of what I did to Hailey and me.