Read Harold Pinter Plays 2 Online
Authors: Harold Pinter
SOLTO.
Yes, the Donkey Club.
TULLY.
The Donkey, sure. I left there three years ago.
SOLTO.
How long you been here, then? I haven’t been down here for about three years.
TULLY.
You must have missed me. I come here three years ago, that’s exactly when I come here. (
Calls
.)
Charlie!
TULLY
clicks
his
fingers
for
the
WAITER
.
SOLTO.
It was a real dive before then, I can tell you.
WAITER.
Same again, Mr Tully?
TULLY.
Same again. Dive – course it was a dive. They asked me to come here and give it – you know – a bit of class, about three years ago. I gave the boot to about a dozen lowlives from the start, you know, I made my position dear.
SOLTO.
Didn’t they give you no trouble?
TULLY.
With me? Listen, they know if they want to start making trouble they picked the right customer. Don’t you remember me at Blackheath.
SOLTO.
You’re going back a bit.
TULLY.
I’m going back a few years before the war.
SOLTO.
You’re going back to when the game was good.
TULLY.
What about you at Blackheath?
SOLTO.
Blackheath. It’s another story when you start talking about Blackheath.
TULLY.
Thanks, Charlie. Here you are, Ambrose. Cheers.
Pause.
No, you can see it’s not a dive no more. I got the place moving, I mean, we got a band up there – well, I say a band – a piano and a double bass, but they’re very good boys, they’re good boys. We got a very nice clientele come in here. You know, you get a lot of musicians … er … musicians coming down here. They make up a very nice clientele. Of course, you get a certain amount of business executives. I mean, high-class people. I was talking to a few of them only the other night. They come over from Hampton Court, they come, from Twickenham, from Datchet.
SOLTO.
All the way from Datchet?
TULLY.
Sure, they get in the car, how long’s it taken them? They come here for a bit of relaxation. I mean, we got a two-o’clock licence. We got three resident birds. What made you come down here all of a sudden?
SOLTO.
Ah, just one of them funny things, Cyril. I heard of a little bird.
TULLY.
What, one of the birds here?
SOLTO.
Still sharp, eh, Cyril?
TULLY.
You heard about the quality we got here, eh? We got some high-class dolls down here, don’t worry. They come all the way from finishing school.
Fade
out.
Fade
in
:
girls
’
dressing-room.
BARBARA.
What did he say then?
SALLY.
Come over with me one Sunday, he says, come over
and have Sunday dinner, meet the wife. Why, I said, what are you going to introduce me as, your sister? No, he says; she’s very broad-minded, my wife; she’ll be delighted to meet you.
MAVIS.
Oh yes, I’ve heard of that kind of thing before.
SALLY.
Yes, that’s what I said. Oh yes, I said, I’ve heard of that kind of thing before. Go on, get off out of it, I said, buzz off before I call a copper.
BARBARA.
Which was he, the one with the big nose?
SALLY.
Yes.
MANAGER.
Come on, girls, move yourselves, we’re ready for the off.
BARBARA.
Who asked you to come into the ladies’ room?
MANAGER.
Don’t give me no lip. Get your skates on. (
To
SALLY
.) Cyril wants you at his table right away.
SALLY.
I’ll kick him in the middle of his paraphernalia one of these days.
BARBARA.
Go on, what happened then?
SALLY.
Why don’t you come on the river with me one of these days? he says. I’ll take you for a ride in a punt.
MAVIS.
In a what?
BARBARA.
A punt.
MAVIS.
What’s a punt?
SALLY.
I said to him, In a punt, with you? You must be mad. You won’t get me in no punt.
BARBARA.
I thought you said he attracted you.
SALLY.
Oh, he did to start off, that’s all. I thought he wasn’t bad. But, you know, he came from Australia. He’d got a lot of Australian habits, they didn’t go down very well with me.
MANAGER.
Come on, come on, I don’t want to tell you again. Where do you think you are, on Brighton front?
(To
SALLY
.) Cyril wants you at his table.
SALLY.
I’ll cut his ears off one of these days.
She
goes
into
the
club.
SOLTO.
So I thought to myself Tully, Big Johnny Bolsom. She must be all right.
TULLY.
Sure she’s all right.
SOLTO.
So I thought I’d follow it up.
TULLY.
You couldn’t have done better. Here she is, here she is, come on, darling. This is an old friend of mine, Ambrose Solto.
SOLTO.
How do you do?
SALLY.
How do you do?
TULLY.
Sit down, Ambrose. I want you to meet this girl, Ambrose. This is the cleverest girl we got here. She speaks three languages.
SOLTO.
What languages?
TULLY.
Tell him.
SALLY.
Well, English for a start.
SOLTO.
She’s witty, too eh?
TULLY.
Witty? She’s my favourite girl.
SALLY.
Oh, I’m not
SOLTO.
Aren’t you going to tell me your name?
SALLY.
Katina.
SOLTO.
Katina. What a coincidence! My childhood sweetheart was called Katina.
TULLY.
No. Go on!
SALLY.
Really, Mr Solto?
SOLTO.
Yes, when I was a little boy, when I was a little boy in Athens. That’s when it was.
Fade
out.
Fade
in.
WALTER.
I just took the train down to Southend, that’s all.
ANNIE.
Southend? What for?
WALTER.
I felt like having a look at the seaside. It wasn’t bad down there. I rolled around, that’s all. Smelt the old sea, that’s all.
Pause.
ANNIE.
You’ve got a secret.
WALTER.
Have I?
ANNIE.
Oh, come on, Wally, what do you think of her? She’s nice, isn’t she?
WALTER.
Who, the girl upstairs? Yes, she’s a very nice girl.
ANNIE.
You like her, eh?
WALTER.
Who?
ANNIE.
Don’t you?
WALTER.
What, the one that lives upstairs, eh?
ANNIE.
All larking aside.
WALTER.
Well … all larking aside … without any larking … I’d say she was all right.
ANNIE.
You didn’t like her, though, the first going off, did you?
WALTER.
Ah well, the first going off … ain’t anything like … the second going off, is it? What I mean to say … is that the second going off … often turns out to be very different … from what you thought it was going to be … on the first going off. If you see what I’m saying.
ANNIE.
Hasn’t she made the room lovely, eh?
WALTER.
Very snazzy.
ANNIE.
She’s made it really feminine, hasn’t she?
WALTER.
Oh … without a shadow of doubt.
ANNIE.
She should be in soon. She should be due home from night school in about half an hour.
Fade
out
and
in
:
Night
club.
SOLTO.
What do you think of that?
SALLY.
No, you’ve got real rhythm. Mr Solto, it’s a pleasure.
SOLTO.
I’ve always had rhythm. Take it from me. I was born with rhythm. My big toe can dance a polka by himself. My word of honour. My sweetheart and me, we used to dance by the sea at night, with the waves coming in. You ever done that?
SALLY.
No. Never. Let’s have a drink.
TULLY.
How you getting on, you two?
SOLTO.
Marvellous.
SALLY.
Lovely.
SOLTO.
See us on the floor?
TULLY.
What were you doing on the floor?
SALLY.
Dancing!
SOLTO.
You should have seen him at Blackheath. Go on, off you go, Cyril, we’re talking about philosophy here.
TULLY.
Mind how you go.
He
goes.
SOLTO
and
SALLY
go
to
the
table
and
sit.
SOLTO.
I was going to say something to you.
SALLY.
What?
SOLTO.
I own a private beach. On the South Coast. It’s all my own. A little beach hut. Well, not so little. It’s big. It’s not a hut either. It’s a bit bigger than a hut. It’s got Indian carpets, it’s got the front side full of windows looking out to the sea, it’s got central heating, and the waves … the waves come right up to the front step. You can lie on a divan and watch them come closer and closer. How would you like to lie there in the moonlight, eh, and watch the waves come closer and closer?
SALLY.
Sounds … very nice.
SOLTO.
Nest week-end we’ll go down, eh.
SALLY.
Well, I …
SOLTO.
No excuses! I’ll barbecue a boar on the beach, my word of honour.
SALLY.
Where you going to get the boar?
SOLTO.
Specially from France – where else? listen. You want to know a little secret? I came down here specifically to look for you.
SALLY.
What do you mean?
SOLTO.
I got hold of this photo of you, see? So I got hold of the photographer. He told me what club it was, and here I am.
SALLY.
Where’d you get the photo?
SOLTO.
That I’m not supposed to tell you. You see, what I was doing, I was looking for you for a pal of mine.
SALLY.
A pal? … Who?
SOLTO.
Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to tell him where he can find you. No. I wouldn’t let a man like that get hold of a lovely girl like you.
SALLY.
What’s his name?
SOLTO.
He’s a man called Wally. Wally Street. He’s always in and out of the nick. He’s a forger, a petty thief, does post-office books. You know him?
SALLY.
No.
SOLTO.
Funny … I don’t know what he … anyway, forget all about it. But I’ll give him his due. If it wasn’t for him showing me this photo, where would I be, eh. And where would you be.
SALLY.
Yes. Where would I be?
Fade
out
and
in.
A
knock
at
the
front
door.
WALTER
goes
through
the
hall
door.
SOLTO.
Hullo, Wally, I’ll come in a minute. I’ve got a cab outside.
They
go
into
the
room.
WALTER.
What’s up? Have you found the girl?
SOLTO.
The girl? What girl?
WALTER.
The girl. That photo I gave you. You know.
SOLTO.
Oh, the girl! You mean the girl I was trying to …
WALTER.
Yes, I thought that might be why you’ve come round.
SOLTO.
You’re dead right. That’s exactly why I’ve come round.
WALTER.
That’s what I thought.
SOLTO.
And you weren’t wrong.
Pause.
WALTER.
Well. Where is she?