Harris Channing (8 page)

"I'll see to her needs,
Henderson," Reg inserted, his voice calm and reassured. The oily snake was
trying to slip into Bobbie's life at a weak moment. He clenched his jaw and
fought the urge to bloody the man's nose.

"I'll not leave you with
strangers, Bobbie. When the snow melts I'll take you to California…"

"No." She shook her head.
"I've no one there. That was my father's dream."

He scanned his foggy memory.
"To Illinois, then."

She audibly swallowed. "No,
I've no one left in this world…no one but you."

Her statement had him rising to his
feet. "Bobbie…"

"She needs you man!" Reg
shouted, he too standing, shoulders squared, chin raised with righteous
indignation. "You're going to stand there and push the poor girl away? And
for what? Guilt over Sarah? You have wasted far too much time grieving over
that one."

Rage permeated every cell in
David's body. Without thought, he grabbed Crocker up by the lapels and stared
into his watery blue eyes. "How dare you speak of my wife in such a
manner."

Reg raised his hands. "I meant
no disrespect. But she's gone and Bobbie needs you, here and now." He
looked in Roberta's direction, his voice oozing with compassion. "You and
I are strangers, but please know you are
welcome
in my home."

Still holding tight, David pressed
Reg toward the door but Roberta had raced over, her hands clutching at his
arms. Her scarred fingers were surprisingly strong as she fought for Reg's
freedom.

"Stop this! My God, I've lost
my family and still I must deal with Sarah's loss. Can I not take a moment to
deal with my own?" The tremor in her voice, the earnestness of her plea
and he let go of Reg, but not before giving him a healthy shove. The man reeled
back, slamming into the far wall.

"Damn you Henderson. You are a
son of a bitch!" Springing forward, his fist connected painfully with
David's nose. The taste of his own blood mixed with whiskey and he damn near
vomited. He intended to charge forward, yet at the sight of Bobbie's face, he
stopped. Sorrow had replaced her anger and she shook her head. Defeated.

"You two fight l-like dogs
over a scrap. Selfish, the both of you." She scolded them like school
children, and ashamed he lowered his head. She was right, for once it wasn't
about Sarah or his grief. It was about someone else.

"He pushed me to the
brink!" Reg countered. "I beg your pardon, Miss Roberta."

"Just go, Mr. Crocker. Please,
I need peace and there will be none if you two roosters continue to
squabble."

"As you wish." He bowed
his head with a gentility that belied his surroundings. "And rest assured,
your family is at peace. They will be lodged in my barn until the ground thaws
enough for burial."

A new horror seemed to take hold of
her. Her lower jaw bounced as if an icy wind had attacked her and she wrapped
her arms about her middle. "All three of them?"

"Yes." His tone had
softened as had his countenance. The man was positively glowing with sympathy
and David fought back another urge to take yet another swipe.

"M-May I come see them?"

"I don't know if that's such a
good idea," Reg said, his voice wavering a bit.
 

"Why?" she asked.
 
He would have thought it impossible, but her
face grew paler.
 
"Are they ravaged
by beasts? P-Please tell me their death was not horrendous."

"No, I believe it was rather
swift. Please do not haunt your mind with such thoughts." After a long
moment, Reg finally looked to David and raised his brow imperiously. Damnation
how he hated the man. "Bring her tomorrow, won't you Henderson?"

David wiped his bloody nose on the
sleeve of his coat, the red smear bright against the stained tan hide. "I
will. And we'll bring them here as soon as I can." He sniffled.
"We'll put them to rest beside Sarah."

Bobbie cast her full attention on
him, a strange expression etched on her face. It was filled with not only her
sorrow, but was it gratitude? "Please, can we not go now? I must see them
with my own eyes. I have to be certain."

Reg sidled up to David and leaning
in whispered. "They are not in any shape for her to see. I only just found
them and came immediately to you."

"Are they injured?"

"Yes. Their wagon slid down a
ravine and the father is down there. Looks as though his neck is broken, the
horses too, mangled beneath the debris."

David's stomach ached at the
picture. He glanced at Bobbie, her eyes pooling with tears as she waited for
him to insist they go immediately.

"I only found the other two
when I caught sight of a black ribbon tied to a tree branch. They were pretty
near buried under a drift. I dug them out." His words were so quiet that
David strained to hear them. "I would rather have them bound in sheets and
in quiet repose before she sees them." He drew his lower lip between his
teeth, thoughtfully. "She need not remember them as I will. It was a sad,
desolate picture. The boy, curled up in his mother's lap as they froze to
death."

David nodded his agreement.
"All right. Do you need my help in moving them to your place?"

An appreciative smile lifted the
corners of Reg's mouth and he shook his head. "No, sir. I can tend to them.
They are very near my homestead."

Despite his aching nose, David was
grudgingly grateful. Without meaning to, he had become attached to Roberta, and
being by her side at this particular moment was the only place he wanted to be.

Chapter 7

Bobbie couldn't believe her eyes.
The pair of them huddled in the corner discussing her as if she were a
child…worse, as if she weren't in the room.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Miss
Roberta," Reg said coming to her and bowing low. He stood, his blue eyes
positively illuminated with his compassion, compassion she didn't want. She
wanted her family.

"You're not going anywhere
without me!" she shouted, very nearly flying toward the door. "I have
to see them. I won't believe they're gone until I do."

Reg spun around and blocked her
escape, while David reached for her from behind. Pulling her to him, he secured
her in his vice-like embrace. "You'll see them tomorrow."

She fought against him as Reg made
good his escape, the blast of cold wind from the open door momentarily taking
her breath away.

With the cabin door secured, David
eased his hold. "It's for your protection, Bobbie."

"My protection?" She
heard the words, understood their meaning and yet didn't know what he meant.
"How can you protect me from this? If my family is dead, there is no
protection. I am stripped of everything."

The reality of her situation
threatened to devour her. Her throat constricted as she fought to breathe.

David pulled her closer, rubbing
her back. Instead of pushing him away, she clung to him. Whatever strength he
had to offer, she would accept, for God knew she needed it. Needed him.

Tears streamed down her cheeks and
finally all the grief she tried to stifle rose to the surface and she released
the pain. Heavy sobs exploded and she crumpled, David catching her, cradling
her against his hard chest.

“You’ll be all right,” he
whispered, carrying her to the bed. Setting her down, he knelt on the floor at
the bedside, caressing her knuckles with his work-calloused fingers.

Her breath hitched as she fought
sorrow's spasms. Dear God, this was dreadful. Her worst nightmares come true.
Everyone she had ever loved annihilated.

"Why can't we go now?"
she asked, pulling free of his gentle touch.

"You have trust me. Waiting is
for the best." He lifted his gaze and his expression bespoke of his worry,
but not his worry for Sarah, but for her. How could she find a grain of good in
the desert of bad?

"I do trust you." Lifting
her trembling hand, she stroked his bearded chin.

He wrapped her fingers in the warm
fold of his grip, and sweetly kissed her knuckles. "I'll do my damnedest
to see to you Bobbie." His warm breath heated her skin, and she realized
she needed more than words from him. She ached for him to come closer, needed
to feel him alive and warm at her side and yet she hesitated, staring at him
through her tears.

"Lay down, darlin'. Try to get
some rest."

"I can't, I don't want to. I
want to see my family." She raked her fingers through her hair, tugging at
the tangles, the pain to her scalp nothing in comparison to the pain in her
heart.

"You have to try."

"Why? What good will it
do?" She sprang to her feet and David stood, blocking her escape. Didn't
he understand her need to get out of this place? The only way she would sleep
was if she knew she'd wake up in heaven with Ma, Pa and Robert. But no. That
wasn't what was going to happen. She was going to toss and turn only to rise
and face a new day rife with fresh horror.

A crooked smile eased the
seriousness of his expression, yet his eyes reflected his sympathy. "Where
do you think you're going?"

"Out of here, that's where. I
need to run until I fall down dead." She tried to move past him, but he
shifted, keeping her trapped between his bulk and the bed.

"You know I'm not going to
allow that to happen."

"Why not! You don’t want me
here!" She again tried to move past him but this time he stilled her, her
hands tight on both her shoulders.

"I will not bury you beside
Sarah, do you understand me?" He pulled her hard into him and all the
resistance slid from her body.

"David, this is all so
unfair." Sobs popped from her lips and she rested her forehead against his
chest. He eased his grip, stroking her hair.

"I know."

"What exactly am I s-supposed
to do?"

She heard him sniffle. "I'm
hoping you can tell me, that way we can both move forward."

Pulling away the smallest bit, she
looked up into his face, tears clung to his eyelashes. "Oh, David, I feel
sick, and shocky. The whole world has become surreal." She dragged her
lower lip between her teeth and bit it. "I don't know what I'm supposed to
do with myself."

"I'm so sorry this is
happening to you." Easing his grip, he slid his hand down her arm,
encasing her fingers in his hand. "I would do anything to have found them
alive." And in his answer, she saw a side of him she'd not seen before, a
less morose man, a compassionate man with a loving heart. Sarah had been a very
lucky woman, indeed.

"I so need to see them. Why
won't you take me now?"

He momentarily closed his eyes and
dragged a deep breath into his lung. "Reg needs time to get them ready for
you. As I said, you have got to believe that it's for your own
protection."

She raised a dubious brow.

"Please, rest now," he
continued. "Tomorrow will not be an easy day for you."

As much as she wanted to question
him further, she recognized the stubborn expression in his narrowed eyes, not
to mention how his jaw twitched.

"Rest? Perhaps I can lie down
and cry rather than sitting up to cry."

"Or perhaps you'll
sleep."

Maniacal laughter clogged her
throat. "Sleep. Perhaps if I had a bottle of your whiskey."

Despite her better judgment, she
removed her coat and boots and unmaking the bed, she lay down staring through
her tears at the cobwebbed laden ceiling. This place most certainly was a far
cry from her home in Illinois.

Illinois…why did her father have to
take them away? Why? They would be going to church in the morning. They would
be preparing to celebrate her birthday or Ma would be humming in her rocking
chair before the fire with Pa reading the Bible in the corner and Robert
studying his lessons. The memory unfolded in her mind, the sweet simplicity of
her life something she ached to have again.

Huge teardrops slid down from her
eyes and she didn't think she'd ever be able to stop them.

***

He towered over her, not knowing
what to do. Damnation, he'd been through this when Sarah died, how was it he
didn't know what to do to help. His heart ached for her.

"Tell me what I can do,"
he said, knowing he sounded completely weak and ineffectual. All he wanted to
do was grab the last bit of whiskey and drink it down and yet he stayed, too
worried to leave her side.

"You can't do anything.
There's n-nothing to be done except for me to accept things as they are."
An agonized moan sped from the depths of her soul. "I don't think I can do
that."

"Unfortunately, you don't
truly have a choice." He sat on the edge of the bed and pulling a
handkerchief from the pocket of his coat, he wiped away her tears. "I know
you can't believe it now, but it will get easier."

She gazed up at him, her eyes
searching is face. "It hasn't gotten easier for you."

He offered her a small smile.
"It would have, had I not had the guilt of letting her down." He
leaned in closer and kissed her forehead. "You sweet Bobbie, have done
nothing to feel guilty about."

She audibly swallowed. "Oh,
but I have. I survive while they are gone."

He understood that sentiment only
too well. Still hovering above her, he kissed her cheek. "I am so very
glad you did."

"Really?" Her voice
sounded weak, wispy. Damnation, did she really believe he wanted her dead and
gone?

Pulling back he stared down at her,
so beautiful, fresh, and young. Her countenance heartbreakingly pale with her
pain and suffering. "Yes really." He couldn't stop himself. No. He
bent forward, kissing her, savoring the salty sweetness of her lips.

When she sighed, he deepened the
kiss, the need in him so strong that he increased the pressure. God help him,
he hadn't wanted a woman like this in eons, but more than that, when she
yielded, Sarah was the furthest thing from his mind.