Hart's Desire (Pirates & Petticoats Book 1) (28 page)

For a moment, she sat in stunned silence. Gentle, serene Dr. Garrison, whom she’d never heard raise his voice in anger, now faced her, his face dark with fury.

Whore? Jezebel?
 

She rose to her feet in outrage, her fists clenched at her sides.
 

“How dare you speak to me that way!” She tried to glare at him, but her vision blurred.
 

She blinked.

Now there were two Everetts. The ground was uneven and her head was floating.

Perhaps it would be best to retire now and discuss this in the morning.

As she whirled away, she teetered slightly. She was unsure as to the reason why, but suddenly, she had a strong need to release the guilt plying her conscience. Even as her mind silently fumbled to scream an objection, she began to speak, “I think you should reconsider your offer of marriage if you want a wife who loves you, because you should know I do not.” She turned and started for the house then paused to clarify. She turned back, not sure if she spoke clearly enough for the man.
 

“Love you, I mean…I don’t. I don’t love you.” Time to go to her room and retire before she got herself into any more trouble with her overactive mouth. Kissing, talking it didn't matter. It was trouble.

 
Everett snatched her wrist and twisted it, yanking her back to him. She cried out in pain and tried to pull away again, but his grip was cruel and tight.
 

His face darkened and an angry leer sliced his lips open. “I will
not
reconsider.”
 

Keelan’s stomach gave a sick twist. Dr. Garrison had never shown anger or even frustration toward her in the past. Her own actions tonight were deplorable for a woman engaged, but of course, the wine—was mostly to blame. Wicked drink.

“You’re hurting my wrist.” Her voice shook a little. For the first time since she’d met him, she feared him.
 

Dr. Garrison’s face flickered and his expression changed to a more neutral one, although his nostrils flared as he spoke. Releasing her wrist, he took a step back. “I will forgive your little indiscretion tonight. It’s obvious you have had too much to drink. Perhaps it’s best you retire. We can talk in the morning, when your mind is clearer.”

He nervously glanced toward the veranda. “Allow me to escort you to your chamber.” He gripped her elbow. “We should go up the rear stair. I’ll see you to your room and make sure you are settled, then I will smooth things over down here with your cousin.” He began to steer her to the rear door.

He could not so easily dismiss her words and lead her away like a misbehaving child. She was not going to allow him to take her inside her quarters, unescorted either. If Landon Hart could so easily toy with her reputation, she could only imagine the story Everett would create about his time within the confines of her bedroom. A wedding would definitely occur sooner rather than later. She straightened and again jerked her arm from his grasp, backing away from him.

“Dr. Garrison. Everett.” She spoke slowly, both to make sure he understood as well as to avoid slurring her words too much. “I would prefer to go alone. So please, leave me to suffer the consequences in solitude.”

Everett’s features hardened again. He stepped nearer, bringing his face close to hers. His steely gray eyes had an almost feral sheen. “You know nothing about suffering the consequences of another’s actions. So much tragedy has occurred during the last two years within the Grey family, no?”
 

His ominous tone made her pause.
 

“I lost my family too, Keelan. I know the heart wrenching pain caused by such a dreadful loss.” He grasped her shoulders and shook his agony into her flesh. “Surely you know your father is dying. When he is gone, you’ll be entirely alone.” He gave her a brief humorless smile. “Until you become my wife.”

 
“I refuse to be treated like a possession.” How dare he? “I will not allow anyone to decide how I will live my life. You will find, Dr. Garrison, that I do have a say, and I say
no
.”

It could have been the fact that her eccentric father had never bothered enforcing the rules of polite society very often, or that he had always given her an opportunity to offer an opinion in decisions affecting her life. Or, it could have been hearing Everett put a voice to the dark, silent fear roiling in her own mind. If her father died soon, how would she live? Could she really take care of herself? Maybe it was Garrison’s words, maybe it was Hart’s ruthless assault on her pride, or maybe both, that ignited the powder keg in her chest. She'd had enough.
 

She balled her fist and punched Everett in the stomach as hard as she could. He doubled over and gasped for breath, then lifted his head and stared at her, slack-jawed.
 

The muscles in his jaws tensed and flexed, betraying his effort to control his anger as he straightened. “Your father has apparently neglected his duty to see you properly tutored in the gentler arts, Keelan. Even so, I will maintain my position and accept you as my betrothed. I’ll see to it your father’s estate and his coffers are well supervised, he owes me that much. I'll make sure your transformation from a wanton young woman to a docile wife is successful."
 

He spoke through clenched teeth and an icy hush seeped into his voice while his stare bored into her like a spike. “One thing is for certain, my dear,
sweet
Keelan, you
will
learn to treat me with more respect.” In the bright light of the moon, his face darkened and he took a step toward her.

A sudden dread crept into her stomach. What had happened to the Dr. Garrison she knew? In the past, he had always comported himself in a gentlemanly manner. Even a man as passive as Everett must have his limits. She’d obviously pushed him past his. Time to go.
 

“Do not turn your back on me!” He reached out and grasped her sleeve. On the edge of panic, she snatched her arm away and to her horror, the seam ripped and separated from her bodice.

Her heel slipped off the garden path. She teetered for a brief second, then stumbled and fell.

The quiet night was broken by a savage growl and before Keelan could focus, Everett flew through the air like a spidery rag doll. He crashed into a nearby birdbath. With a muffled groan, he collapsed.

She tried to scramble to her feet to flee, but her gown had become entangled in her legs. She’d lost a slipper. A choked sob escaped from her throat. Although she struggled to keep her composure, she couldn’t prevent the tears from escaping. Steely arms lifted her from the ground and placed her gently on the bench. A warm hand lifted her foot and replaced her slipper. She opened her eyes to see Landon Hart squatting in front of her.

“Are you hurt?” he asked quietly while he scanned her tear-streaked face.

She tried to focus on him. “This is entirely your fault.” She hiccuped. In vain, she tried to tug her tattered sleeve back into place.

“Yes.” He drew out his handkerchief and dabbed at the tears on her cheeks.

Through the cloth, she muttered, “Why are you here? You won your infernal kiss, proving that I am weak and stupid around you. I can’t play your game. What more is there?”

He brought down the handkerchief and studied her intently. “There’s you.”
 

She turned her face away, but it didn’t deter him. He blotted another tear and brushed his fingertips along her jawline. She closed her eyes. Why couldn’t he stop tormenting her?
 

“Better to admit you don’t love Garrison before the wedding, rather than after, don’t you think?” His voice was low, soothing, almost hypnotic.

“I had no intention…” She bit her lip, realizing she had let her last secret escape. She stared at her hands and sighed. Her charade had ended; she had nothing to lose by being honest with Landon now. She fiddled with the lace on her torn sleeve and plunged on before she dissolved into a weak, weeping mess.

“My father is still very, very ill and I believe he fears he will die soon. That has led him to take steps to properly secure my future to his satisfaction. I accepted the marriage proposal from Dr. Garrison to ensure I could live in Charleston and run a shop while he runs his practice. Truthfully, I planned on delaying the nuptials until Papa was well again, or I turned twenty and one, or found a more suitable solution.”

She met Landon’s knowing gaze, then unable to keep eye contact, dropped her chin and stared at her hands again. “But you knew, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t know for certain until we kissed tonight,” he admitted.

Puzzled, she peered up at his face. He was even more handsome in the moonlight. He looked like a carved statue. “What do you mean?”

“You can’t kiss one man like you kissed me when you truly desire another,” he explained, helping her to her feet. “Nor would you have willingly kissed me if you were truly in love with Garrison.”

A muffled moan drew their attention to the doctor. Thank God he wasn’t dead. He had pushed himself to his hands and knees next to the toppled bird bath. It was a relief to see he was conscious.
 

Brushing back a stray curl, Landon ran his fingers along her jaw before cupping her face.
 

“You don’t really love Garrison, do you Keelan?”

She flicked a sideways glance to Everett. He was gone. Good. With any luck, she’d be able to avoid him the rest of the evening. Landon touched her chin and drew her gaze back to his. She was mesmerized by the deep pools in his eyes. “Nay,” she said softly. “I do not love Dr. Garrison.”

His voice dropped to a low whisper, “What about me, Keelan? Will you deny your desire to be with me, even when your lips tell me otherwise?”

She studied his face intently. Did he jest? Was he looking for another conquest? Didn’t he realize he had conquered her weeks ago? Did it matter to him what she desired? He trespassed upon her dreams at night and preoccupied her thoughts during the day. Sure, she tried to convince herself for weeks it was all simply a girlish fascination and lust for adventure, rather than actual feelings for him. However, would she desire Everett were he in this captain’s shoes?
 

No, she wouldn’t.

Damn him. Damn her pride. It was time to leave it behind her and be honest. Her heart was already too damaged to bother protecting it anymore.
 

“Nay,” she whispered, “I cannot deny that I wish to be with you.” She choked. Her heart had been scraped raw; she had nothing more to lose.
 

He pulled away to study her. “I have wanted you from the moment I kissed you in the garden.” He stroked the back of his fingers down her cheek and along her jaw, making her shiver even though the touch was warm.

“It’s not the wanting and it’s not the passion, Landon.” How could she make him understand?
 

His eyes clouded with confusion and she looked away, unable to meet his gaze. Now he was torturing her in a different manner. Forcing her to put words to her emotions? He might as well strip her bare and make her say it in front of the entire city of Charleston.

“It might sound petty and vain to your ears but I can’t…I won’t tolerate a man who beds other women or has mistresses in every port. I’m not willing to live that life. I’m prideful, I know but—”

Keelan’s breath caught as he silenced her lips with a warm finger and lowered his face to hers.

“Sweet, sweet Keelan, I want no one but you,” he whispered. His mouth brushed against hers. This time, his kiss contained such tenderness her tears flowed anew. Time stopped as Landon slowly and gently moved his lips over hers. His fingers caressed her nape. She couldn’t move, nor did she want to.
 

“Even when you chose Garrison, I cursed myself for allowing the opportunity to have you slip away. I resolved that before the week was out, I would return for you and ask you to break your engagement to him and choose me instead.”

In a voice husky with emotion, he urged. “Come away with me tonight, Keelan. Leave behind your secrets and schemes and let me show you what it is like to be loved and worshipped for the woman you are.”

Her heart tripped. How cruel of him to say something so beautiful to her. If only she could trust him to speak honestly. Was teasing her again? She studied his face. In his crystalline irises she saw nothing but a burning intensity.
 

“You do want me…want to be with me, don’t you Keelan?” His expression was guarded, anxious.

Of course she did. How could she not? “Desiring you…being with you, has never been a problem, Landon.” She reached up and placed her palm on his cheek. “Loving you is the easy part.” There. She said it. It was painful, but now it was out. She continued, “The torment caused by your absence is the problem.” She gestured weakly in the direction of Annette Camsby, somewhere in the house. “It’s the beautiful women who are naturally drawn to your charm and handsome smile and…well…
you
. That’s the problem, that’s why I can’t choose you.” Tears burned in her eyes; her heart hurt. “I could never stand to be away from you so long, and the distance will always prevent me from trusting you.”

“I know.” His face softened.
 

She dropped her hand from his cheek and turned her face away to stare at the wisteria blossoms, which in the moonlight looked like drops of silver cascading from the vines. She didn’t trust him and that fact hurt him, which made her hurt for him, but it didn’t change anything between them.

“You told me the day of the storm that you’d never be able to love a man who comes home to port for a few weeks time, remember?” Landon asked.

She nodded.

“Do you recall what I said in response?” He brushed away tear with his thumb. “I told you that any man who would leave you for even an hour was a fool.”

What was he saying? He cupped her face in both hands and drew her gaze back up to his.
 

“Keelan, I love you too much to ever leave you behind.”
 

He loved her? “Landon,” she breathed, searching his eyes and seeing nothing but love shining in them. “Are you saying you want me to sail
with
you?”