Has to Be Love (30 page)
Authors: Jolene Perry
I start for the door but a thought slams into me so hard that I freeze. My decision to leave in two days isn't a forever decision. Leaving for New York is life changing, but it's not
everything.
Suki was right. It's
not
forever. It's not permanent. And suddenly I'm okay with whatever Elias and I are. I don't have to make the forever decisions now. I have to make the now decisions now. And I have.
I. Clara Fielding. Am following my dreams and going to New York.
Holy. Crap.
41
As I sit on the plane by myself, the layers of guilt and not belonging and fear begin to peel away. With every minute I'm lighter and know even more that I'm doing the right thing.
Rhodes wrote back a
Woot!
when I told him my plans, even though he's in Greece and maybe seducing some poor, sweet Greek girl. So, there's this welcome relief that we can talk and be friends.
Lachelle gave my eardrum permanent damage with her scream of
Yes!
when I called to see if she still had room for me. So we'll be roomiesâhopefully for the whole year. Or she might end up in Paris. If we're not roommates all year, that's fine. I may end up back in Alaska in the fall, or maybe I'll stay in New York. Cecily is all for the last option. I'm okay with making decisions as they come.
I walk out the doors of LaGuardia and climb into my first-ever taxicab. The moment I'm sitting I have a text from Elias.
So proud of you, Clara. Stay in touch.
I tear up immediately at the many ways I miss him: our history, the amazing person he is, what he's done for me. Even at what I'm doing for myself right now. I wouldn't trade having him in my life for anything.
I hit Reply and send him four short words that I finally feel with everything in me.
I love you too.
Acknowledgments
My daughter was born with Moebius Syndrome, so ever since I started writing, I've wanted to explore writing a girl with some sort of facial difference. When my editor, Wendy, said it might be fun to work on a book set in Alaska, I thought ⦠huh ⦠And the idea of my scarred Clara was born. In my mind, this book takes place near Sutton, Alaska, one of the most beautiful places on earth. The river is massive, the glacier is stunning, and the canyon is terrifying to drive in the winter.
There is no way I'd have finished
Has to Be Love
without my husband, Mike, totally cheering me on and making sure I got some nice long writing stints with peppermint hot chocolates at Kaladi Bros in Wasilla. And when I told Christa Desir what I was thinking of doing with this story, she was like, “Yes. We need more of this.” And because Christa is wise in all things, of course I had to move forward.
Massive thank-you to Cassie Mae who inspired me to end the book the way I did (and to add more kissing). Another massive thank-you to Ruthanne Frost, who had some great insights. And to Melanie Jacobson, who is so incredibly brilliant at reading a story with her supah smarts and giving fantastic advice. Kaylee Baldwin gave me some insights that led to some fantastic “duh” moments, and I'm pretty sure I flooded her inbox with questions about poetry.
My agent, Jane Dystel, is a for-real rock star. I'm in such good hands. I'm so incredibly grateful for the hours and hours of work she's done for me with this book, my random author meltdowns, and everything else I drop her emails about.
I have nothing but fantastic things to say about Albert Whitman. Once I started this project, I couldn't wait for Wendy McClure to read it, and her notes had me so excited that I'd accomplished what I'd imagined for this story from the beginning. Kristin Zelazko is amazing. Everyone at AW is just made of awesome.
Every time I step back and realize again that I have for-real books on for-real bookshelves, it's incredibly humbling. I am so, so, so grateful to be able to make up stories and have people read them.
Readers are the very best kind of people. It is always this final moment of a story when I realize how I could never hope to write and publish alone and that I'd never want to. For me, books are, and always should be, a group production.
All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Text copyright © 2015 by Jolene Perry
Design by Jordan Kost
Cover image © Cindy Clarissa Tanudjaja/Getty Images
ISBN: 978-1-5040-1736-7
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