Hate to Love You (6 page)

Hearing my name on his lips only fanned my angry passion to greater heights.

My fingers tightened around him but I slowed down, wanting to drive him mad. “What about her? You can tell me everything. It’ll help me to understand so I can forgive you.”

He repeated my name—
my name!
—over and over as I varied my pace, expelling me with every breath like a litany or a curse.

“Paisley,” he panted.

Seven letters strung together like the seven sins.

Well, Lust had certainly taken hold of James. He let go of his upper-class refinement to express himself all crude and rude, making me flush even hotter.

“I want to fuck her,” he groaned. His hand twined in my hair, jerking my head back to give me a savage kiss. “Fill her pussy and make her come.”

My eyes popped open.

I didn’t think of my “forbidden passage” in those terms and normally disliked the words
pussy
,
cunt
and even worse,
snatch.
A vagina was a vagina unless I was taunting Caroline, but the way James said pussy put paid to vagina forever. He made it sound hot. Rough. An expression of pure lust that made me gush, slick and eager for him to make good on his wish.

“And?” I prompted.

“Her breasts,” he said, lost in his recollection. “No bra and those gorgeous nipples, so fucking big...” His hands cupped my bottom and squeezed. “I want to taste them, suck them into my mouth.”

The words popped out before I could stop them. “Do it then. Pretend I’m Paisley and get her out of your system.”

I barely got to finish the sentence before his mouth covered my nipple. Molten pleasure coursed through my body, jump-starting a loop between my breasts and my pussy and becoming almost unbearable as he suckled me, grazing me with his teeth. His hair was thick and silky under my fingers and I pressed him closer, feeling a tenderness I’d never felt before. I didn’t care that it was the alcohol in his bloodstream making him want me. Sober James may think I was beneath him but drunk James fantasised about me even when he thought he was with Caroline.

And I wanted him just as much.

We fell back in a tangle of limbs, the rest of his clothing making a hasty journey into the black universe around the bed. Our bodies fit perfectly, straining to get even closer.

“James,” I whispered into his ear, unable to stop my own litany.

It made him wild.

“So sexy,” he murmured, sliding his hand over my breasts. His touch was rough and electric. “Perfect.”

Trembling in expectation, I listened to James tell me exactly what he would do to me. Things that maidenly modest Caroline would be shocked at. I forced the thought of her away, wanting to enjoy this moment before I carried out my revenge. Maybe I should get him more desperate for me before I revealed myself.

No!
my mind screamed.

“Yes,” I said, gasping as James’s hand cupped my pussy.

I froze, afraid to disappoint. Did he like Brazilians or bush girls? James didn’t seem to give a toss what I was. He slid a finger inside me, then another, testing me for readiness. He needn’t have bothered, it was like a river in there.

“So wet for me,” he said, making me clench around his fingers. “You’re driving me nuts, Pais—”

Silky hair brushed my face as James shook his head and I smiled in triumph. The lines were so confused he wasn’t sure who he was with anymore. I gave up petty triumph for pure delight seconds later. James may not have had sex for a long time but he still knew how to pleasure a woman. His fingers were confident. Exploring me. Learning me. Stroking me until I reached a state of frenzied, liquid heat that finally boiled over and made me cry out his name.

Holy Mary, Jesus and everybody else. No wonder Marcia said there was no substitute for a man. I gripped James’s shoulders and moaned unabashedly, trembling in his arms as my climax coursed through me.

“You smell great,” he said, his body half covering mine. “Like honey and vanilla.”

Uh-oh
.

His voice sounded steadier, as if he was sobering up. I guess there’s nothing like a bit of sex to clear away an alcoholic haze. Languorous and satisfied, I didn’t want to see James’s face or feel his hatred when he discovered my deceit. Neither did I want to humiliate him anymore. The sexual high had been too precious to sully with my petty revenge. What I wanted was more of him, more of the rush he’d given me. Higher, stronger and more powerful than any drug I could think of. I wanted to taste him, to hear him moan as I drove him over the edge.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

His voice was low and sexy. “I love the sound you make when you come.”

Oh God. I actually turned my face into his chest like a goody two-shoes, cheeks burning and feeling shy because I’d had my first orgasm without a vibrator. Shit, next I’d be praying Hail Marys and volunteering at the soup kitchen. It was time to get down and dirty. I tickled his belly button, making him laugh. The line of soft hair underneath it led to even softer curls and I tugged them.

I traced a finger, just a light touch along his shaft, smiling when his breath caught in his throat. His velvety tip was engorged, streaming with his arousal. Unable to resist, I slid down the bed and licked the small, delicate slit. His sigh turned into a groan and he clutched the sheets, bucking his hips in response.

His hand went to my head, gently pressing me into him but I resisted and kept my mouth where it was. The tender skin under the helmet was so soft I wanted to savour its texture. He laid back, open to me. Defenceless. He was in my power but it seemed that I was also in his. His salty-sweet taste was enthralling, a spicy mixture of darkness and delight.

James’s hot cock throbbed against my tongue, making me wonder what he’d feel like inside me. Like his fingers, the texture rough and electric on my skin? Or like a bolt of steel covered in satin, igniting every molecule inside my body until I was lit from within?

I tried to clear the thought from my head, reminding myself of his insults. I wanted to get back into revenge mode but it was no use. Truth held me immobile as the realisation of what I really wanted hit me. I wanted James Xavier Scott-Thomas to
make love
to me. I wanted him to take my virginity and show me how it felt to be loved by a man.

I had to put a stop to this but I filled my nostrils with James’s virility instead. I deserved this moment, I rationalised. A passionate tryst with somebody I desired before my life went downhill. I teetered on the precipice while the hammered-in Catholic morality of my childhood competed with my desire for James. I didn’t care that I hated him, that he thought I was beneath him or that he belonged to Caroline and thought I was her.

James surprised me by pulling me up to his chest. Before I knew what I was doing, I was straddling him like I would a stallion. I’d never been naked on top of a guy before and it felt...amazing, actually. I was in control except I didn’t really know what to do about it. I was apprehensive and awkward which was ludicrous in light of everything I’d just done.

James read my nervousness and let me adjust to being on top. He rubbed his hands from my waist to my breasts in an assured caress that soon had my breath catching in my throat. My hips gradually relaxed against the scorching heat of his erection.

He bucked his hips to tip me forward and a gentle hand went around the back of my neck to pull me to his mouth, holding me captive with the force of his kiss. I was glad for him to take the lead, eager to experience what he would do next.

When he lifted my hips and adjusted me onto him I caught on quickly, obliging him by lifting my body so I could feel his wet crown. I was nervous as hell, but I’d made up my mind to go through with it. I rubbed my pussy along his length, relishing the rigid heat.

“Darling, this isn’t you,” he said, sounding dazed.

“That’s right,” I whispered. “I’m Paisley, remember? And I...” I gulped and took a deep breath. “I want you to fuck me.”

I’d never said that to a man before and it felt hard-core, even for me. It was the right thing to say though. James flipped me onto my back so fast I almost shrieked. Spreading my legs, he positioned himself between my thighs. I bit my lip as he entered me, parting me gently at first and then more firmly as he pushed deeper.

Holy shit
, my brain screamed,
I’m having sex for real
.
With James!
And then,
God I hope it’s not like what I told Caroline.

As if he’d heard me, James paused to kiss me. “I’ll stop if you say so,” he said, agony in his voice.

I raised myself onto my elbows and the movement made him slip farther inside me. It could have been my breath that caught in the darkness or it could have been his. He groaned, pushing deeper, only to stop with a low curse.

“You can’t get me pregnant,” I assured him.

Well, it was true, wasn’t it?

I stroked him, circling and pumping his slippery shaft before I put him exactly where I wanted. He was slow and sure, controlling the urge I knew he had to go deeper. His cock felt better than I’d imagined. Big and scorching hot. A live wire charged with James’s unique energy. He was making me
his
, millimetre by millimetre, branding me inside. My pussy was slick, easing him in further, creating a friction that was consuming me with the desire to feel his full length, all the way to the hilt.

When he got to my hymen I tensed, wary of the pain I knew was coming. He lifted the hair from my face and kissed me, moving rhythmically while he coaxed my body into relaxing. It was pain and pleasure in one. He shifted position, easing out of me slightly so he could trail his fingers along my labia to the hard nub between my swollen lips. The ripples of pleasure increased.

His fingers were just as skilful as before, but his prodding cock made it feel ten times more powerful. His husky voice urged me on as he see-sawed at my entrance. The farther he went, the more my pussy clenched around him, the pressure building up like the geyser I had mentioned so casually to Caroline.

James created a rhythm that my body translated into intense, visceral delight. It grew stronger with every thrust until I hit the peak and climaxed in waves of pure ecstasy. I had to bite into his upper arm to keep from screaming as hot pulses of fluid bliss burst from my pussy and covered his cock.

What the
fuck
was that?
I wondered, shocked. Judging from James’s response he loved it, whatever it was.

He kissed me passionately. “I’m going to make you mine now.”

A frisson of fear made my heart jump. The sense that if I did this I would forever belong to this man and this man alone. The man who belonged to my sister.

No!
my mind screamed, even as my body welcomed him.

I cried out at the tearing of my flesh, at the rending of the fragile barrier that allowed James to claim me in the most intimately powerful way possible. It was fucking painful, no doubt about it, but I embraced that pain like a treasure because it was
mine—
and James had given it to me.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

He kissed my forehead, the tears on my cheek and then my lips, letting me get used to his girth, barely moving until I relaxed my muscles. I didn’t believe I could take all of him but he showed me otherwise. He circled his hips and my body instinctively followed. He dipped into me, taking little nibbles and holding back because he didn’t want to hurt me. The hand on my breast was replaced by his mouth and soon enough, the little flickers of pleasure grew stronger, spreading through my body in bolts of pure bliss.

I’ve never been one of those people who wonder what it’s like to be hit by lightning. Who cares what it feels like if you’re dead? But now I knew. It was pure rapture, condensed into hot little zaps that stemmed from James’s lips, his hands and his cock. And I really would die if he didn’t give me more. My hips rose to meet his downward push, taking the initiative to increase the tempo.

He was still holding back.

“Fuck me,” I urged.

It was easier to say the second time around, so I did it again and was rewarded by a deep, heart-stopping thrust. I smiled, delighted that James liked a dirty mouth in bed. So I told him I loved his enormous cock. He drove it into me, telling me all the ways he wanted me.

It was exhilarating, empowering, making me so hot I thought I would singe Caroline’s sheets. I bet my sister never heard anything so crude, so purely sexual from her sophisticated fiancé. I bet she’d run screaming if she did. Even though I was tender and sore, I didn’t want him to treat me like I was a fragile flower.

Like Caroline.

“Harder, James,” I ordered, my hands tight on his firm buttocks. “I’m Paisley and you’re fucking me like you wanted, remember?”

“Oh God,” he groaned, lost in his fantasy.

Our hands laced together as he increased the tempo, a tiny drop of moisture falling from his forehead onto my lip. We tasted it together, our bodies entwined in a cord of passion and pleasure. I fitted my legs around his thighs to pull him deeper, my hands on the rippling muscles of his back.

The sound in the back of his throat was wild. Primitive. He was sweating and groaning and so was I, goaded by his enjoyment, his total lack of control as he succumbed to his instincts, hard and fast.

“Don’t stop,” I urged against his ear. “Fill me with your cum.”

His body went rigid, the goose bumps spreading under my fingers as his orgasm shook him.

“Fuck...Paisley,” he said, bucking into me.

His pleasure forced me over the edge and I climaxed in time to his wild heartbeat and the convulsive tightening of his fingers on mine. It was the best high I’d ever had. Better tasting and sweeter smelling than anything I could think of.

Addictive.

I had wanted to remain aloof, enjoy the sensation of being loved by James and not be affected. Just another high I could compare to all the others I’d experienced. But when I lay underneath him, gasping for air with only his lips and his tongue to sustain me—at that moment he possessed me. Full stop and end of story. He shuddered, expelling another breath with my name on it, making me smile.