Haunted Ever After (15 page)

‘You’re quiet, Sal, everything alright?’ asked Georgie.

‘Yes, all fine. Just enjoying the crisp, country air.’ I forced a smile. ‘And saving my voice for the rowdy pub.’ I managed a chuckle.

‘Oh yes, good idea.’ Lorena draped her arm around my shoulders, whether it was a subconscious act of support or the fact that she was tired and needed support herself I wasn’t sure.

If Red was telling the truth, which she wasn’t, but if she believed it to be the truth, then no wonder she wanted to drive me mad this weekend. To get back at me for (unknowingly) stealing her boyfriend, on the pretence of ‘just wanting to have fun’. But she seemed genuinely sorry for telling me. Genuinely hurt and worried about me.
Oh, what am I thinking?
She’s probably a pro at emotional manipulation, that might be why Greg left her and didn’t want to discuss his past relationship with whoever she was, because it was too distressing.

Anyway, I’d told her that if she truly cared about me in any way she’d leave me alone and let me enjoy a nice dinner with my bridesmaids. She’d already gotten in the way enough this weekend, and I wouldn’t let her, or the lies she told me, get in the way of this evening.

True to her promise, she was nowhere to be seen at the pub, and I managed to remove the silly thought of Greg being unfaithful from my mind and enjoy a great meal and conversation amid the homely, friendly atmosphere of the establishment. Georgie tried not to critique the simple, hearty meals, reminding herself she had the night off from cooking, and we were even treated to a karaoke performance by a local man who wasn’t half bad. Though his friend was terrible. And thank goodness I’d used up my dares because there was no way I was getting up there to sing in front of everyone. No, tonight was simply relaxed and enjoyable. It was nice to be around normal, living people, and not have to deal with the demands of Red interfering every chance she got.

After our main meals were devoured and we sat waiting to decide if we could fit in dessert, I excused myself and went to the ladies room. When I turned the lock to exit the cubicle a couple of minutes later, the door wouldn’t open.

Huh?

I locked and unlocked it again, but it was stuck.
Damn old pub, probably haven’t replaced the bathroom fittings for decades
.

‘Now that you’re alone, I need to speak to you,’ a voice whispered, and I glanced up. Red was perched on the dividing wall between my cubicle and the next one.

‘Oh great, I should have known it was you. Let me out, Red!’

‘Not yet! There’s been a development. He’s with her now. I thought you should know.’

‘What?’

‘Greg, he’s with the woman right now. I saw it in my mind.’

‘Oh, well, then forgive me. If you saw it “in your mind”,’ I made quotation marks with my fingers, ‘it must be true.’ I continued to jiggle the door lock.

‘Call him if you don’t believe me. Call him and ask him who’s with him, see if he gets nervous.’

‘He’s on his buck’s weekend at a golf resort, I’m on my hen’s weekend, and we agreed to not talk until we see each other on Monday afternoon. I’m not going to disturb him and his friends.’

‘Look, Sally, I’m not lying, really I’m not. If you could only see what I see.’ She stared hard at my face with the same look she gave me back at the festival, when I was having the palm reading.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m trying to imprint my vision into your mind. Something tells me it’s possible, but I’ve been trying all day and it’s not working.’

‘Probably because it’s not possible, and because your vision ISN’T REAL!’

‘You should keep your voice down, you know, people might think you’re talking to yourself.’

‘I doubt they can hear me, the music’s too loud out there.’ I kicked at the door and pushed hard on the lock, but still no release.

‘Promise me you’ll think about what I’ve told you. That you’ll look into this and try to find proof.’

‘Oh yes, I’ll just ask him: Greg, honey, are you having an affair? That would go down real well.’

‘Look, just call him, see if you get any sort of hesitation on his part, some sort of hint that I might be telling the truth.’

‘Fine, I’ll call him, okay? It will be good to hear his voice. Now let me out of here.’ As I jiggled the lock, it gave way. The lock and handle but, sadly, not the door. ‘Oh no! Look what you’ve done now!’ I held the broken door handle up to her. ‘Now I’m really stuck! Fix it, Red, fix it!’

‘Oops,’ she said, covering a laugh with her hand.

‘Oops? Is that all you can say? C’mon, use your…powers…or whatever they are, and open the door!’

She stared at the door with a strained face. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s well and truly broken.’ She held up her hands in defeat.

‘Argh!’ I ran my hands over my head and kicked at the door again, then knocked on it with my fist. ‘Help! I’m stuck in the toilet!’ If only I’d brought my handbag and phone in I could have called for help, but it was sitting safely under the table near Lorena’s foot.

‘They can’t hear you, remember? Music’s too loud.’

I glared at her.

‘Now if you’d listened to me back at the house you wouldn’t be in this situation, would you?’

‘No, if you hadn’t locked me in here in the first place I wouldn’t be in this situation!’ I scanned my cramped surroundings, and homed in on the spot where Red sat. ‘Move off, I’m going to climb up there and down into the next cubicle.’ I shooed her away with my hand and she jumped to the next dividing wall. I placed my hands on the toilet cistern for balance and propped my foot on the toilet seat. Like all great pubs, there was no lid on the toilet. I lifted my other foot up as well, grateful I had not agreed to Lorena’s offer to wear Georgie’s high-heeled shoes. Flats were comfortable and practical, and had much better grip. I swivelled my upper body to face the side wall and moved my right foot to the other side of the toilet seat, and gripped the top of the wall with my fingers. If I put one foot on the cistern for leverage I should be able to boost myself up enough to bend over the wall, then turn sideways and climb over to the neighbouring toilet seat.

I eyed my target and lifted my right foot to the cistern, then prepared to push against it. As I tightened my leg muscles in readiness and pushed, my left foot, which I had unfortunately not been paying much attention to, slipped off the toilet seat and into the abyss of the toilet bowl. I gasped at the cold water encasing my foot and soaking into my shoe, and winced at the bump my knee had sustained as it landed against the inner rim of the toilet seat.

‘Oh golly gosh!’ I exclaimed, trying to lift my foot from the bowl. It only sloshed about and dipped further into the hole. ‘Oh my goodness, I’m stuck! And, oh no! The germs, the germs!’ My foot would need autoclaving at the hospital after this.

Red peered over the cubicle and shrieked in hysterics. ‘Is there no limit to your amusement potential? You crack me up, girl!’

‘Is there no limit to your insensitivity? Help me!’

‘I would, but, it’s a bit difficult in my position. Though, if I concentrate real hard, I might
just
be able to make that little button go down and — ’

‘No! You will not dare flush this toilet!’

‘Couldn’t I try a little flush?’

‘No!’

‘Oh c’mon,’ she said, then started singing, ‘It’s just…a little flush…’ in the tune of Jennifer Paige’s pop song,
Crush
.

‘Argh!’ I took my attention away from my wet, trapped foot and focused on my dry, free foot and pushed against the toilet seat, lifting my heavy, soggy foot from the unhygienic depths of this nightmare. ‘Urgh! Yuck!’ I stood on the toilet seat gripping the wall, only now my foot was too slippery to even consider climbing up and over the wall. I hopped down and yanked off a long length of toilet paper and frantically dabbed at my foot, noticing then that my shoe was still stuck in the loo. ‘Why, oh why?’ It half poked out the top of the hole like a tiny beached whale, and it looked so pathetic and lonely. Kind of like me.

‘Where is my hand sanitiser when I need it?’ I dabbed at my foot some more, then banged on the door. ‘Help!’ I glanced down at the gap between the floor and the door.
Hmm, maybe it’s not that small a gap
. I measured it with my hands, then, keeping my hands at the same width apart, held them against my torso to see if I could fit through. It was possible. I was only petite, and thank goodness I wasn’t in Lorena’s condition.

Note to self: never go into an enclosed space without my phone. Or hand sanitiser.

‘Are you really going to crawl under there?’ Red asked.

‘You got a better idea?’

‘Nope.’

‘Exactly.’ I shook my head at her apparent lack of concern, and knelt on the floor. I placed each foot on either side of the toilet bowl so I could flatten my body as much as possible, and poked my head underneath the door. I wish I hadn’t eaten that risotto now; as tasty as it was, it was probably absorbing fluid by the minute and swelling up to ten times its size.

As though I was doing yoga, I concentrated on lengthening my spine so I could
slither
out, but with the lack of space for leverage it was proving difficult. I wriggled under the door, inching my shoulders through. If I could get my upper body out, the rest would be easy. But then I remembered my left shoe was still stuck in the toilet and I wouldn’t be able to get back in without breaking the door down. Oh no, why didn’t I just pluck it out and toss it under the door? Too late now. The priority was getting myself out.

Slowly, I edged my shoulders through, squashing my boobs as much as possible, not that there was much to squash, and tried not to think of all the bacteria that was multiplying on my hands pressed to the bathroom floor, not to mention my foot, which felt incredibly icky.

Okay, now, I’ll just try to push off the bowl with my feet, then I should be out
. But my feet wouldn’t take, they just slipped around like a bar of soap. So I used all the arm and upper body strength I could muster and grunted, but my body would not budge. I couldn’t go any further!
Oh no, oh no
… Panic spiralled within. Maybe I should reverse my movements, get back in and rethink my approach. I pushed in the other direction, but I couldn’t move that way either. ‘Red! Do something, anything! I’m trapped!’

‘Oh Jesus, hang on, umm…let me think…’

‘Speaking of Jesus, have you met him on the other side? Maybe you can ask for a miracle or something. Please?’ It was hard to speak through my compressed chest, and my ribs hurt against the cold hard floor.

‘I don’t seem to have progressed that far yet, I’m afraid, Sal. Could you maybe blow out a long breath to empty your lungs and then quickly push yourself out?’

Actually, that was the most useful thing she’d said all day. I breathed in, which was painful, then exhaled as much as I could and inched forwards. But as soon as I moved a little my need for oxygen took over and I had to breathe in again. ‘Damn it!’

My eyes darted to the side as the door to the bathroom squeaked open.
Oh thank goodness! I’m going to be rescued!

‘Sally, oh my God! What happened?’ Lorena crouched next to me as best as she could.

‘I got locked in, the door handle broke, and as you can see I thought it would be smart to crawl underneath but now I’m stuck!’

‘Oh sweetie, you poor thing!’ She patted my head. ‘Hang on, I’ll go get help.’

Maybe Georgie could get me out of this mess. I could grab hold of the backs of her ankles and she could walk forwards, like a human tow truck. I knew she was strong enough.

Seconds later I recognised her smart, black heels as she walked through the door, followed by Mel’s strappy pair (and her riotous laughter).

‘Sally, you are such a sight! Hang on…’ I heard a click sound.

‘Did you just take a photo? Mel, how could you!’

‘Sorry, but you’ll laugh when you look back on it. Don’t worry, we’ll get you out, the four of us can manage it, I’m sure.’

‘The four of us? As you can see, I’m not exactly much help to myself right now.’

‘We brought an extra set of hands,’ Mel said.

And feet, obviously, as a pair of strong men’s feet shod in black boots walked into the ladies bathroom. ‘I think playing Twister gave you false confidence in your level of flexibility.’ The deep voice was unmistakeable. So was the chuckle that followed.

Ty.

I tilted my head a little and glanced in his direction. Could this day get any more embarrassing? ‘Can you all quit making fun of me and get me out of here, please?’

‘Hey, hey, why the angry tone of voice?’ Ty asked. ‘It’s not the end of the world. Try to think positive. Every difficult situation has a silver lining.’

Silver lining? What silver lining? I’m stuck between a toilet door and a dirty floor with a soggy foot whose shoe has gone for a late night skinny dip in an unhygienic body of water
.

‘I have one!’ said Lorena. ‘At least you’re not pregnant.’

‘Yeah, already thought of that. Try again.’

‘Ooh, I know,’ Mel said. ‘At least you’re not a D cup like me. These whoppers wouldn’t have a chance in hell of getting through that gap.’

‘Gee, thanks for pointing that out, Mel.’ Nice to know everyone had my small bra size on their mind right now.

Ty spoke next. ‘Okay, what I’ll do is I’ll climb into the cubicle from the other one, and Georgie, you pull Sally under her shoulders while I push her from behind.’ To an eavesdropper, this could potentially sound a little odd.

‘But what if you get stuck inside too, Ty?’ I asked. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck in here with Ty, and my backside poking underneath the door and on display.

‘Then we’ll have a lot of time to get to know each other better,’ he replied, moving away and stepping onto the neighbouring toilet bowl (which probably had a lid). He grunted, and before I knew it his feet were either side of my thighs, standing above me.

‘Will you be wanting this shoe?’ he asked.

‘Well, I do need to walk back to the house, but after that it’s going in the bin.’

A slosh of toilet water made me gag. ‘Incoming,’ he called, and my gaze darted to the left as my shoe landed on the floor outside the cubicle. He rescued my shoe for me? His hand would need sanitising too.