Haunted Ever After (7 page)

Red, please don’t
. I tried to send her an instant message via ESP.

‘I can almost feel his heat,’ she said, leaning in close to his face. ‘I wish I could smell him.’ She breathed in violently through her nose like she was trying to unclog her sinuses with nasal spray.

I shifted awkwardly on the couch, while my friends danced about to the music.

‘Oh yeah, now
he’s
got some moves!’ She tried to copy what he was doing, failing terribly. Her coordination and speed had nothing on his. She obviously realised this as she changed tack and started to mock his movements, exaggerating his pops and locks, his pumps and thrusts, his spins and twists. She gyrated excessively around him and the corner of my mouth twinged slightly as her face took on a mock expression of lust. Red pretended to fan herself, then pretended to touch his abs, pulling her hand back with excitement and mouthing ‘I’ll never wash my hand again!’

I clamped my lips to stop from giggling, but when she repeatedly attempted to rip off her pyjamas the way Ty had done to his scrubs, I couldn’t help but laugh. I spluttered and held my hand to my mouth, and Lorena yelled another, ‘That’s the spirit!’

As Red mimicked his movements and made fun of his dancing I laughed harder, and creases formed between Ty’s eyebrows. He came close to me.

‘Something funny, Sexy Sally?’

‘No, nothing. Nothing at…’ Another burst of laughter exploded as Red demonstrated CPR on Ty unknowingly.

She blew at his mouth and pumped his chest, then pretended to put something against him. ‘Charging to 360. Clear!’ she yelled, then jerked as though she herself was hit with the volts of electricity from the defibrillator.

‘Please, please stop!’ I said, my stomach aching from laughter.

‘You want me to stop?’ Ty asked, motioning to Lorena to turn the volume down a bit.

‘Oh, don’t stop, don’t stop!’ Red moaned, now gyrating next to Ty with her purple polka dot hips.

‘Red, you need to go, now! Please!’ I held my stomach as I spoke, realising too late it was out loud.

Ty flung his stethoscope around his neck and took a bow. ‘I think that concludes the show.’

‘What are you talking about, Sal?’ asked Georgie.

‘Yeah, that’s twice you’ve said “red” today,’ Lorena added.

‘Oh, um, I meant my red cheeks. I can feel them going red, and I wanted them to go away. I’m shy, that’s all.’ I looked at Ty. ‘Your dancing was really great. I’m just a little embarrassed.’ I patted my cheeks then fanned them for show.

‘Well, I’m glad to have made you blush.’ He winked. ‘A true blushing bride.’

Red must have obeyed my orders because she had disappeared again.

My friends clapped and cheered, and Mel gave Ty a high-five. ‘That was awesome, dude.’

‘Why, thank you.’ He caught her hand after the high-five and kissed it.

What a suck.

Crash!

Our heads all turned in the direction of the noise, upstairs.

‘What the hell was that?’ asked Georgie.

I shrugged. ‘Something must have fallen.’ Or been pushed by a hyperactive ghost more like it. What had she done now?

A bang sounded, like a door slamming, and I jumped.

‘What if it’s an intruder?’ Mel asked.

‘An intruder? In the upstairs bedroom? How would they get in?’ Lorena asked.

‘Was your window locked, Sally?’ Georgie asked. ‘That big tree is right outside your room, it’s possible someone could climb up and get in that way.’

Georgie’s martial arts training had taught her the art of anticipating danger.

Another bang sounded, though softer than the first.

‘I’ll go take a look,’ said Ty. He tiptoed across the floor, still half naked.

‘I’ll go too.’ Georgie crept along beside him like a ninja.

‘I’m staying right here.’ Mel grabbed a cushion and cowered on the couch.

I’d be scared too, if it wasn’t for that fact that I was sure it was just Red causing chaos. She
had
said she wanted to practise her powers, and God help me if they were getting stronger.

Lorena and I stood close together at the bottom of the stairs as Ty and Georgie crept up them, pausing on the creaky one. If it wasn’t Red and there really was an intruder, at least we had a black belt chef and a half-naked dance guru to protect us.

They disappeared into the room and I heard the sound of a window closing. Then they emerged, carrying a broken porcelain lamp. ‘Must have been a gush of wind, knocked over the lamp and broke it in two. Wardrobe door was wide open too, and a pair of shoes had fallen out,’ Ty said.

‘Oh, I must have left the window open. Oops,’ I said. Though I didn’t even open it to begin with. As Ty and Georgie descended the stairs, Red slid down the railing and landed in a heap at the bottom of the staircase.

‘Oops for me too,’ she said. ‘Sorry, didn’t mean to break anything. But ooh yeah, this ghost is getting stronger, baby!’

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

‘Oh man, I wonder how much that thing costs to replace.’ Lorena held a hand to her head.

‘You got any super glue in this house?’ Ty asked.

‘Ask Sally, she bought just about everything from the supermarket today as though we were preparing for a zombie apocalypse.’

‘No super glue I’m afraid.’ I held up my palms.

‘Hang on,’ Georgie called after retreating to the kitchen. ‘I think I remember seeing some when I was inspecting all the cupboards.’ We followed her voice and she held up a small tube. ‘Ta-da!’

‘I don’t think it’ll hide the crack, but it’s worth a try,’ Ty said. He positioned the lamp fragments on the counter, the electrical cord running through the centre stringing them loosely together. He spread glue on the broken bits, then pushed the two parts together and waited. Both Mel’s and Lorena’s eyes were practically super-glued to Ty’s arm muscles, bulging as he applied pressure to the lamp. Of course, I wasn’t looking. I was just looking at the lamp and his muscles got in the way.

‘There, that should do it,’ Ty said. ‘But if it doesn’t, use the extra cash you gave me to pay for replacing it.’ He went to his doctor’s bag and extracted the money, handing it to Lorena.

‘Oh, don’t worry, Ty, that’s yours. I can’t take it back.’

‘I insist.’ He placed it in her hands and wrapped them closed before she could object again, then returned the lamp to my bedroom.

‘Well, ladies, it’s been fun,’ he said as he put his clothes back on. ‘I should leave you to enjoy the rest of your night.’

Georgie eyed him curiously. ‘Ty, would you like to stay and have dinner with us? As a thank you for fixing the lamp?’

What?
Like we needed to repay him for that! Any of us could have fixed it, it wasn’t rocket science.

‘There’s really no need, and I don’t want to intrude.’

‘You wouldn’t be intruding.’ Mel grasped the side of his arm with a little too much enthusiasm. ‘Here, come and take a seat and Georgie will serve up whatever she has planned.’

Ty glanced at Georgie. ‘Hey, you look familiar.’ His eyes narrowed.

‘That’s probably because she’s on TV,’ Lorena said proudly.

‘Oh, are you that chef?’ Ty clicked his fingers. ‘Yes, you’re the Black Belt Chef! I love your show!’

Georgie curtseyed then gave a faux rapid-fire punch in front of Ty. ‘Thank you.’

‘Well in that case, how can I refuse a meal cooked by a celebrity chef?’ Ty grinned and Mel led him to the dining table.

Why on earth would they invite the stripper to dinner? What happened to our dignified dinner and girly discussion? Mel slid out a chair and sat me down next to him. Great.

‘Water?’ he asked, passing the carafe towards my glass.

‘It’s okay, I’ll get it myself.’ I took the carafe from him but, from my nerves or my alcohol-induced clumsiness, I didn’t grip it tightly enough. It toppled sideways and water spread over the table and onto Ty’s pants.

‘Oh dear. I’m sorry,’ I said, standing and grabbing a napkin.

‘Looks like I’ll have to take these off again,’ he said with a grin. He stood and ripped them off like before, hung them over a spare chair to dry, then sat back at the table in his underwear and rubbed his hands together. ‘So, what are we having?’

What does one talk to a stripper about over dinner anyway?
‘How was work? Did you have a good day at the office?’

Georgie served our meals of Chicken Valdostano, and after taking a mouthful and complimenting the chef, Ty directed questions my way, saving me from having to think what to ask him. ‘When’s the big day?’

‘One week’s time. Are you married?’ I asked. It was so much easier to ask that question when men knew you were taken, otherwise it sounded like you were sussing them out for potential husband material. But anyway, what sort of wife would want her husband to strip semi-naked and have women grope him in order to pay the bills and put food on the table?

He shook his head, took another mouthful, then asked, ‘What do you do for a living, Sally?’

‘Sally’s a nurse,’ Mel said.

‘I’m sure she can speak for herself, Mel,’ said Georgie, her slender fingers wrapped around the stem of her wine glass.

‘Sorry, force of habit. Five kids.’ Mel shrugged.

‘Ah, you must be a very caring person,’ Ty said. ‘How long have you been nursing?’

‘Geez, he asks a lot of questions.’ Red sat at the empty chair to my right and placed her ghostly elbows on the table. Such a classy ghost. Crashing my party and bad table manners to boot.

‘Almost ten years now.’ I smiled.

‘I could have been a nurse,’ Red said. ‘All those smart, hot doctors to drool over. Mmm…’ she rolled her eyes back in an apparent daydream.

I wouldn’t spoil her assumption and tell her that most of the doctors I knew were either grey-haired and pudgy men or skinny and awkward young men with remnants of teenage acne. Sure, there were a few lookers, but it’s no
Grey’s Anatomy
.

‘How long have you been, um, stripping?’ I asked, as dignified as possible.

‘Three years.’ He took a sip of wine. ‘And did you always want to be a nurse?’

Did you always want to be a stripper?
I couldn’t imagine him as a young boy at school getting up in front of the class and sharing his career aspirations for career day.

‘Well, sort of, I — ’

‘I want to ask questions too, sheesh! Can’t get a word in with this guy!’ Red sat on the edge of the table and I tried not to look at her. ‘What’s your favourite colour, Sally? Wait, let me guess, mauve, right?’

Quit distracting me!
I tried the ESP thing again. But what I really wanted to do was push her off the table. So much for being a caring person.

‘Okay, what’s your favourite band then?’ she persisted. ‘Favourite food?’ She leaned over the table and shoved her face in front of mine. ‘Ooh, what about favourite celebrity when you were a teenager? Huh, huh? Answer me, girl!’

I shifted in my seat and pretended I was trying to retrieve the answer to Ty’s question, which had been diluted by Red’s constant verbal assault.

‘Favourite book? Favourite animal?’ she continued shooting questions at me like a tennis ball machine, and my head started to hurt.

‘Um…’ I cleared my throat and rubbed my ear, tension building inside like a boiling pot of water. ‘Sorry, what was the question again?’

‘I said, did you always want to be a nurse?’ Ty repeated.

‘Favourite song? Favourite shop?’ Red continued. ‘Ooh, ooh! Favourite sexual position?’

In frustration, my hand banged down on the table, sending my fork flying across to the floor. ‘Missionary, okay? Missionary!’ I blurted.

All eyes stared at me. ‘What?’ Lorena asked, curiosity and concern on her face at my apparent distress.

Oh dear God.

Red had collapsed in laughter on the floor next to me. ‘Missionary! Haha, missionary position! I knew it!’ she repeated, rolling about.

Just when I thought I’d have to excuse myself from the table, a convenient explanation hit me. I cleared my throat. ‘A missionary. I, er, wanted to be a missionary.’ I gave a confident nod.

‘Um, no you didn’t,’ Lorena said firmly.

Mel had cracked up as well as Red. ‘Since when did you want to become a missionary?’

I pushed my unnatural curls from my face and raised my chin. ‘Well, if you must know, since I was a kid. My parents sent me to Sunday school
(true)
and I really enjoyed it
(false)
. I thought it would be great to one day travel the world and spread the good word of the Lord
(also false)
. There. Now you know.’

‘Good for you,’ Ty said with a nod. ‘What stopped you?’

How could I get off the missionary topic? All this quick thinking was doing my head in.

‘I realised there was more need for nurses and thought I’d be better off helping people directly who needed it.’ It was also ingrained into me ever since Mum’s car accident. Caring became second nature, and I sort of fell into it after high school. But no need to get too personal with a man who was practically a stranger. Even though he’d gotten
quite
personal with us. Physically at least.

‘What about you, Ty? Is stripping your full-time job?’ Lorena asked.

Thank you for changing the subject, my dear friend
.

‘Nope. But it pays better than my day job,’ he chuckled.

‘And your day job is?’ Lorena probed.

Ten bucks says he’s a bartender, a waiter, or a struggling actor or artist, something like that
.

‘I’m a disability worker.’

Silence.

‘I help young adults with a variety of mental and physical health conditions to integrate into society. I take them on outings, teach them skills, things like that.’

Was this the same guy who not long ago had shoved a stethoscope down my dress and asked if I wanted mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?

‘Oh wow, he’s like the perfect guy: caring
and
hot.’ Red sighed. ‘Speaking of hot, are you trying to burn this place down with all these candles?’ She waved her hand around the flickering flames from the pillar candles on the table. Then she did the whole ‘phooo!’ thing, trying to blow them out. They only flickered slightly, from her breath or the general movement of air around the table I wasn’t sure.