Haven of Nightmares (Littlemoon Investigations Book 5) (26 page)

Obviously, Roman wasn’t going to make this easy on her. That was fine. It still had to be done.

“I don’t know what was on the video tape, but Beau and Nyx are handling it.”

“I figured you were with them, since you got Beau to trick me into coming here.”

He tried to be cold.

Maybe if she ended up hating him, he’d have an easier time leaving and staying away.

Mattie ignored his tone.

“The letter and journal are why you’re here. I got your message about me loud and clear. You don’t want me in your life. You’ve made your decision, even though it should be something we both decide.”

Yeah, only she couldn’t get him killed. Roman couldn’t offer that same protection.

He didn’t move. “What was in the letter?”

She pulled it out of her pocket and handed it to him. “I’m sorry that I have to tell you any of this, but if I have any hope of getting you to see that this is why your mother is angry, and not at you, I have to do this to you—to us.”

He took it and read it.

At first, he didn’t understand.

“What is this?”

“It’s your father’s suicide note—or that’s what we believe.”

Roman didn’t understand. This was confusing as hell. What was she talking about?

“There wasn’t one. When he was found in the citadel, he left no note.”

“We think he left it for your mother to explain his actions. It’s why she’s so angry. She hid it to protect the school and you.”

He still didn’t understand.

“Who did he have an affair with?” Roman asked. “That doesn’t sound like something my father would do.”

This was where it was going to be ugly.

She told him about the journal they’d found.

“I don’t understand. Devora kept a diary?”

“Yes, she did.”

He thought about it. The faint memory of it was returning. Come to think of it, he could recall it. “Was it that little book that she would write in it all the time?”

“Yes.” Mattie knew this was going to hurt like hell. Instead of sugar coating it, she ripped that bandage off as fast as possible.

Roman was shocked at what he was learning. As he absorbed everything Mattie was telling him, his whole world came crashing down around him.

This couldn’t be true.

His father had slept with his girlfriend.

She had only been with him to get to his father.

He’d been duped by two people he loved.

He stared at Mattie and saw yet another victim. Because of his stupidity, lack of control, and rampant hormones, he’d given the fox the key to the henhouse. He let Devora in, and pushed the sweet twin out.

Shit!

“That’s where she went those nights when she wasn’t in the dorm. I’m sure that if you did research, you’d see that they likely coincide with days your mother wasn’t around. Did she travel?”

“She recruited potential students. She was gone a couple days a week.”

Well, that explained it.

“She’s not angry with me, Roman. She’s pissed at Devora. I’m betting that video has the proof. Once she saw it, she got angry. She became hateful.”

“I can’t blame her.”

“Neither can I, but you need to stop blaming yourself. You didn’t have anything to do with this, and neither did I. You’re walking away from me, and I don’t deserve it. You don’t either.”

He stood.

“Are you done?” Roman wanted to be alone. When he was hurt, angry, or on the edge, he went inside himself to work it out. He was a typical introvert, and now he needed to escape.

“Roman, stay with me. We can fight this together. I won’t give up.”

“Even if it gets you killed, Mattie? I’m not willing to risk that for my happiness. I’m not willing to risk it for yours.”

“She’s not angry at me. We just need to get her to see that I’m not Devora. Once she does…”

“You can’t argue with a dead, angry spirit,” he said, walking toward the door.

She followed.

“Please, Roman. Don’t leave me. I need you.”

Her words broke his heart.

“I lost you once because of Devora. Please don’t make me lose you again. Please, Roman!”

He opened the door.

She had one chance left. Grabbing his hand, she held on. “She played us all. She lied and did horrible things. I’m not her. Don’t make me suffer because of her. I love you, Roman. Please.”

The words hit his heart like barbs.

Instead of turning to see her face, to see the love she had for him, he yanked his hand free. He was going to head to the school, leave the Littlemoons the key, and get out of there. There was no way he could stay there now.

It was too late.

When the door closed, he heard her sob. He kept walking. When he reached the end of the driveway, her car sat there. As he went to walk past it, the radio came to life.

“Don’t. Leave. She. Needs. You.”

“Trey, stay out of this.”

“Go. To. Her. She’s Crying. Don’t. Be. Cruel.”

He hated that he was right.

“Don’t. Lose. Her. Love. Matters.”

Roman closed his eyes.

He didn’t know what to do.

“I hate you, Devora. Wherever you are, I hate you.”

       
         
* * *
  L   i   t   t   l  e  m  o  o  n  * * *

Work It Out

Gym

As they pulled up, Tori and Julian noticed that the ex-teacher had done rather well for himself. The place was all glass, state of the art equipment, and full of sweating people.

The man was running a successful place, and it appeared to be more lucrative than teaching.

That was interesting.

As they went to get out, Tori’s phone chimed.

It was a message from her brother.

‘Watched the tape. It’s Clifford and Devora, and they aren’t studying. He was a perv. Tag. You get to tell Roman. I had to watch the sickness.’

She showed Julian.

“Crap! There are days when I wish I wasn’t the boss. What do I have to do in order to bail on this one?” he asked.

She grinned. “I could use a new gun.”

“You just bought a new gun.”

“I need another.”

He stared at her. “Are you singlehandedly trying to stockpile for a zombie uprising?”

Tori snorted. “If I said yes, would that be weird?”

He opened his mouth, and then closed it. “Buy the gun, but you have to tell Roman. He won’t hit a pregnant woman. He will hit a Native bearing shitty news.”

Tori shook his hand. “Deal.”

Walking in, they headed right to the front desk.

“Can we speak to the owner?”

The blonde pointed toward a bulky man training another on the weights. Crossing the room, Julian tapped him on the back. “Are you Benzian Hansen?” he asked.

The man turned. “Yeah, who are you?”

They made the introductions. “We’re working on a case. We’re trying to find the killer who struck at Remington Academy, and we were told you were a teacher there, and at the new school.”

He put down the weights.

“Who are you?” Tori asked, as the other man didn’t move. He was younger, and looked to be about Roman’s age.

“I’m Harrison Weber. I went to school at Remington. Coach was our teacher. I hung out with Roman. Is he in town?”

“Yes, he is.”

Benzian looked confused. “I don’t know why you need to see me.”

“You worked at both schools where students have gone missing.”

He stared at them, and it wasn’t a happy look. “Are you accusing me of something?”

“Did you teach Felicity, Devora, and Rylee?”

“Yeah, I did. I was the only gym instructor.”

“What about Marlene, Ola, and Rivka?” Tori asked.

“Yeah, I had them in my class too.”

“Why did you leave Remington?” Julian asked.

“When the school shut down, I had to find a job. I went to work at the school in town, but public schools weren’t for me. I left after a couple years.”

“How long have you been out of the high school?” Tori asked.

“About two years. This building opened up, and my wife told me to go for it. I have a family to support. Kids are expensive, so I mortgaged my house and took a shot.”

“I see it worked out,” Tori stated.

“It has. I’ve been lucky. I still don’t see why you’re here, having this conversation with me.”

Tori took over. This reminded her of the FBI, and she loved it. “We found the first three victims yesterday, and an hour ago the second three were unburied.”

He said nothing.

“Did you know the last three victims?”

The man got angry. “You know what? I’m done here. I didn’t do anything wrong, so I don’t have to stand here and take this from you.”

He stormed away without giving them an answer. Only, that spoke volumes.

Harrison Weber whistled. “He’s worked up. It takes a lot to piss Coach off.”

Yeah, well, people who were accused of killing mass people tended to get pissy. They were accustomed to it.

“I know this is probably shitty timing, but I haven’t seen Roman since school. We used to be close. Do you think I can pop in to see him?”

Julian pulled out his phone. “Why don’t you give him a call and let him make that decision. He’s pretty busy right now.”

“Thanks. We go way back. He covered for my brother, Chase, a few times, and I want to be there for him for this. I don’t buy all the shit they’re saying about Roman. He’s good people, and so was his family.”

After Julian began scribbling down Roman’s number on the back of one of their cards, Tori figured why not ask the man some questions.

“Did you ever see the coach acting inappropriately with any of his female students?”

“Him? Hell no! He’s as straight as an arrow. He worked everyone hard. He took a special interest in people who were trouble. Coach liked to keep people in line. He’s a beast in the gym. If you skip a training, he’s all over you.”

“You said you were close with Roman, right?”

“Yeah, we were. Why?”

“Were there any people who wanted to cause the Remington’s trouble?”

He thought about it. “Roman never mentioned anything to me, but I do know that he was trying to get away from this town.”

“Why?” Julian asked.

“His sister was the golden child. She was getting the good grades, had a chance at being a doctor, and Roman was just…the other kid.”

Tori made notes.

“Was anyone bothering her?” Tori asked, trying to cover all their bases.

“Not that I’d know. I didn’t really mess around with the underclassmen. Roman and I were heading off to college soon, and we were focused on that.”

“If you think of anyone else, can you maybe give us a call? We really want to help Roman close this.”

He took another card, this time with Tori’s number on it.

“Sure thing! If you need any more help, you can find me here.”

Tori and Julian headed out.

“Let’s get to the next interview,” Julian stated, glancing at his watch. When they got back to the school, he needed to wrangle Roman so his wife could drop the bomb.

On the way through the front door, Julian felt eyes on them.

When he turned, there was Benzian Hansen, and he was glaring at them with nothing but animosity in his eyes.

Oh, he knew hate when he saw it.

This man was filled with it.

He’d bet his horses on it.

Chapter Fifteen

His heart was breaking.

When he thought he’d hit rock bottom, ready to feel nothing more in his life, he walked back toward the house, and it stole his breath away. Through the large sunny window, he could see her.

Matilda was broken in pieces.

She sat on the couch, her knees tucked up under her chin as she violently wept over him.

No one had ever cried for Roman.

His father told him to suck it up when things got hard. His mother doted on Rylee. Now he’d found out that the one happy moment in his life, his relationship with Devora, was nothing more than lies.

None of them shed a tear for him.

Not one.

He realized something in that moment. When he went off to college, he probably wasn’t ever going to return Devora after all. A piece of him knew that what they had wasn’t real. There was never that connection.

That need.

When he thought about Mattie, he wanted to come back. Even if Trey hadn’t told him to stop, he likely wouldn’t have made it far. Something about her lured him back, despite the pain he was feeling.

It was love.

This was what it really felt like.

There was no way he could throw it away. Despite his dead mother, his father’s misdeeds, and Devora’s betrayal, Mattie still wanted him.

Him.

For all his faults and all his broken moments, she saw him as something no one else did.

How could he walk away from that?

The anger was gone.

The frustration was ebbing away.

If she were going to risk going down in the fight, he would be right by her side. Mattie came for him, and he couldn’t turn his back on that. Roman wanted someone who would love him for him, and she was the answer.

Looking around, he saw some cheery flowers in a planter. Plucking a few, he was going to bring her a token of love, and a small apology.

Hopefully, she wouldn’t slam the door in his face.

At the door, he knocked. He could hear her coming, and he prayed to whoever was listening that he would get a chance to explain himself.

When she opened the door, his heart ached.

Her cheeks were stained, her mascara was smudged, and she didn’t say a word.

That couldn’t be a good sign.

“I’m sorry. You were right, Mattie. I can’t run, and it’s not fair that we’ve had this dumped on us. Damn them for what they’ve done, but we still have to carry it. I don’t want to carry it alone.”

She still didn’t speak.

More importantly, she didn’t invite him in.

“I can’t survive by myself anymore. I know I tried for the last ten years, but it’s too hard to wake up each day, running from my past, my present, and avoiding my future. I don’t want to keep doing it.”

“Then stop running.”

That was easier said than done

He didn’t know how to even begin.

“I don’t want to be that pathetic geek that no one loves. I don’t want to die without leaving my impact on someone.”

“I would miss you if you were gone, Roman. I meant what I said.”

His heart skipped.

Compassion.

It was the one thing that his mother had instilled in him, and this woman had a plethora, an undrainable well, of it. He wanted to live like that.

He wanted to live like her.

There was that hope, that optimism, and that fighting spirit. Mattie wasn’t a quitter, and he didn’t want to be one either.

Roman wanted to love and be loved.

“I know they’re not much, but I picked them for you,” he offered, holding out the token gift.

She didn’t immediately reach for them.

Roman truly believed he was in serious trouble.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry that you told me you loved me, and I didn’t say it back. I’m sorry you begged me not to go, and I still did. I need you to forgive me for all my sins and love me despite them.”

She glanced down at the flowers, and she melted. Her heart skipped when he handed them to her.

It was so sweet and romantic.

“I need you in my life, Mattie. I don’t want to walk away. I was wrong. I’ll let you decide because ultimately, it has to be your choice. You know where to find me.”

As he turned to leave, she could see he was broken. He was staring at the ground, his shoulders were hunched, and he looked dejected.

It ended now.

It ended with them.

“Roman?”

He turned at the sound of her voice. When he did, she rushed at him, jumping into his arms.

When she crashed into him, he caught her. Mattie didn’t hesitate. She kissed him until they were both robbed of their breath. As she pulled back, she stared into his eyes.

“Don’t leave me. I want you to stay, Roman.”

“I can’t do this without you, Mattie. I need to live in your light. Don’t let me go. Please don’t let me go.”

“Stay and we fight this together.”

He didn’t deserve her, but he was grateful she saw through it all to the man beneath the mess.

This time, he kissed her.

It was sweet.

Gentle.

Full of everything he felt for her.

Carrying her, as she was pressed to his torso, her legs around his hips, he brought them back inside. When he kicked the door closed, he broke the kiss.

“I need you.”

“Upstairs.”

His heart kicked in his chest.

“Mattie.”

“Feel now and talk later, Roman. We both need to heal, and this has been a decade in the making.”

She was right.

There was no doubt that Mattie knew what they both needed. He was going to let her lead the way. It felt right to him on so many levels. No longer was she his dead love’s sister, but she was coming into her own power.

She was the one he could trust with his heart.

Despite who her sister was, he trusted her.

Mattie wouldn’t hurt him. Matilda loved him, and her forgiving him was proof enough. Now, he was ready to risk it all for this woman.

As he carried her up the stairs, she was working on the buttons of his shirt. They were open by the time they reached the sunny bedroom.

It was bright.

Cheery.

Roman wasn’t surprised. It fit her perfectly. Of course the ray of sunshine would live in the light. She’d flourish there, and he wanted to do the same.

These happy colors made him think of Mattie and how she lived her life. It was done with happiness and joy.

He desperately wanted that.

As he headed toward her bed, he pulled off his glasses and tossed them on the dresser. Hers followed.

“I’m a mess,” she said, wiping the tears on her cheeks.

“You’ve never been more beautiful. You’re my sunshine. You’re my peace.”

Her heart skipped as he placed her on her feet. Gently, he ran his fingers down her stained cheek. “Don’t ever change. I love you just like this.”

“I love you too, Roman. I fell in love with you that first day. I’ve always held a place in my heart for you.”

He lowered his mouth to hers. In the kiss, he felt the love and acceptance. As her hands moved up his chest, finding his neck, he let her move closer into his body. Roman knew what was coming was going to be big. He knew that he was reconnecting with his other half.

She was who he was supposed to connect with from the start. There was no doubt in his mind that had he been with Mattie that first time, he never would have found anyone else.

She was it.

As their mouths moved together in the sweetest of symphonies, his hands explored the precious gift she was offering him.

Her.

He tugged her shirt from her jeans and let the silky glide of her flesh beneath his fingers set the pace.

He needed to go slow.

Roman wanted to memorize this moment.

He knew that it was the pinnacle of his life. After Mattie, there would be no one else. In a way, he was setting the wrongs of their past right and making his own silent vow.

As her shirt fell to the floor, he flicked her jeans open. Instead of rushing, Roman wanted to take his time. They’d only have one first, and he wanted to savor every moment of it.

Once he made love to Mattie, nothing would ever be the same again. He could feel it. There would be no need for anyone else.

How could there be?

This was perfection.

Halting the kiss, he trailed his lips across her throat and neck, until he found her bra strap. Slowly, achingly so, he reached around her body and unclasped it.

She tumbled free for him to admire.

“You’re lovely, Mattie. In fact, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

She was flushed with heat.

Roman made her brain go foggy, her tongue go numb, and her thoughts slip away. She knew it would be just like this, but in all her wildest dreams, she never thought she’d feel so alive at his touch.

He dropped to his knees to kneel before her. Leaving a trail of kisses across her stomach, he slowly began tugging down her jeans.

When he kissed across the indentation in her panties, Mattie moaned.

He wanted her more than breathing, eating, or living. His soul knew he was reconnecting to the woman it was always meant to love.

As he helped her step out of her jeans, Roman wanted to take her to bed and show her what she meant to him. As he stood, preparing to pick her up, she stopped him.

“Roman, wait.”

He didn’t move.

Maybe she’d changed her mind.

God
!

He began praying that wasn’t the case. He didn’t know if he could stop. He wanted Mattie more than anything in the world.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked as she flushed even more. “What is it, Mattie? You can tell me.”

“I’ve never been with anyone else. Sure, I dated, but I couldn’t go through with it. It never felt right.”

“Oh, and you want me to stop.”

It was daggers to his heart.

She saw the pain and touched his cheek. “No, Roman, I want you to be my first, my only, and my last. I’ve been waiting for you. When I was growing up, my mother tried to instill in us that you found one man and chose him. I choose you, Roman. I’m yours. This is my gift to you—to us.”

His heart stuttered.

She was giving something amazing, but in a way, it still hurt. Had he not picked Devora, she would have been his first and only too.

“Please stop thinking about her,” she said, recognizing that flash of pain on his face. “When you do, you get this haunted look in your eyes. I only want you to think about me right now. This is about us. Please give me that.”

He was surprised.

“Mattie, I wasn’t thinking of her like that. I was wishing my first time had been with you. It would have meant everything. It would have changed everything.”

“It’s our first time together, Roman. No regrets. No worries. Let’s just be with each other and finally know that it is meant to be.”

She was absolutely correct.

He was going to make this count. Lifting her up, he carried Mattie to the center of the bed. Reverently, he placed her in the middle. She looked beautiful resting on the sunny bedspread. Then he slid off to strip out of his shoes and jeans.

Slowly, he dropped the denim, his eyes never leaving hers. She watched him with awe and amazement.

No one ever looked at him like that before. Mattie did love him. He could see it in her gaze.

As he dropped his boxers, she grinned wickedly.

It made him laugh.

That smile and the dimple in her cheek was a reminder of who he fell in love with ten years ago. Here she was, and she wanted him.

Broken.

Battered.

Destroyed.

And she wanted to be with him anyway.

It staggered him.

Time slipped away, and once more he was eighteen, and she was sixteen. They were children. It seemed so far away, and yet right there for them.

“Mattie.”

She opened her arms for him as he moved across the bed. Going into her embrace, they began kissing again. As the exchange became more heated, his heart thumped in his chest.

“I need you,” he whispered. “I’ll always need you, sunshine.”

Her hands slid down his chest and torso until she stroked him. Roman moaned, her fingers driving his temperature up. “God, please don’t stop,” he begged, as his mouth continued moving across her shoulders.

Mattie gently touched him how she wanted to be touched. She didn’t want fast and hard.