Haven of Nightmares (Littlemoon Investigations Book 5) (41 page)

Oh yeah...

That’s right.

He hadn’t been.

And here was his proof.

       
         
* * *
  L   i   t   t   l  e  m  o  o  n  * * *

He followed him back.

Truth be told, he was getting irritated. What he wanted to do was go home to be with his wife.

He missed being near her.

Instead, he was following Roman Remington around, hoping he was going home.

As in across the country.

Only, he wasn’t.

He was back at the woman’s home.

Shit!

This wasn’t good. He was pretty sure that this was a sign that he was planning to stick around.

That wouldn’t do.

There had to be a way to get him to go, he just didn’t see how. This was going to take some time and a discussion with his wife.

Things were getting dicey in Haven, and if there was any hope of saving their asses, it needed to happen, and soon.

Roman had to leave.

The Littlemoons had to stop digging.

Mattie Boyd had to keep quiet.

Yes, he and his wife had to work this out.

One way or another, Roman Remington, and his new friends had to go.

Their freedom depended on it.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Thursday Late

Afternoon

When he returned to the house, he was pretty sure she was going to tell him to pound sand. Just yesterday, he’d done the same thing, walking away from her.

When he knocked yesterday, Mattie had let him in. He was pretty sure that this time, she wouldn’t.

So, Roman did something he wasn’t proud of at all. He used the keys he’d swiped and walked in as if nothing had happened.

When he searched for her, Mattie wasn’t downstairs. In fact, the house was untouched from when he ran like a chicken.

There were dishes on the table.

Music was still playing.

And Mattie…she was gone.

Climbing the wooden staircase, he could hear her. There were soft sobs coming from her bedroom.

Yeah, he screwed this one up.

Royally.

Pushing the door open, he walked in.

“You can leave, Roman. We have nothing to say to each other. You walked out on me again. I’m not taking you back. My heart can’t handle this back and forth. I’ve suffered too long over you and our lives. We aren’t meant to be, and this is my proof.”

Roman let her vent, despite the fact that her words hurt him.

She was so very wrong.

They were meant to be.

The proof was in his pocket. He’d made a little stop in town, and now he needed to handle the situation the right way—the way he should have earlier.

“I want you to listen to what I have to say, and then you get to make the final choice.”

“I already made it. Get out.”

When she angrily glanced over, she noticed the bunch of roses in his hand. They were red, beautiful, and somehow made her heart hurt even more.

She’d wished he’d thought to give them to her before, instead as an apology. She didn’t want them now.

Mattie didn’t want to hate him, but she couldn’t risk loving him anymore. She asked him to marry her, and he walked out. She was going to die alone.

That was her horrible fate.

Her heart couldn’t love anyone else, and Roman didn’t feel what she felt. Had he, he wouldn’t have run.

“These are for you.”

“Thanks. Leave them on the counter before you leave.”

He noticed the photograph they had printed out was lying face down on the shelf.

Yeah, this was bad.

He was going to have to earn her trust back.

“I didn’t walk out because I don’t love you. I left because I have so much to lose now.”

She didn’t look up. Her sunny blonde hair hid her face as she stared down at the used tissues in her lap.

“I don’t want to lose you, Mattie. I love you too much to see something happen to you.”

“So breaking my heart again is a good thing? How many chances do you think you deserve, Roman? How many? When is it too much for me to even take?”

“I deserve nothing, and I know it. The fact that you love me, when I’m a mess, is proof that you’re a better person than I am, and that’s why I walked out.”

She glanced over.

Her eyes were red and her cheeks were aflame from the heat of her tears.

“I don’t deserve you. Everyone I’ve ever loved died, Mattie. I’m living under that fear. My father took his life, my sister was murdered, and my mother chose to escape rather than stay with me. I’m haunted.”

She didn’t speak.

“Devora used me and was murdered, and I can’t help but look at you and think…”

“I’m just like her?”

“No. That I’m going to wrap my life around yours, and something is going to get through and steal you away. You don’t deserve it. If I let my life touch yours, you’re at risk.”

“It’s my choice, Roman, or it was. I was willing to jump in and do battle at your side. I simply can’t do it anymore. Instead of protecting me, you’re taking shots at me when I’m at my weakest. I have no one either. I wanted to start a life with you. I thought you got me and saw through everything to me.”

“I do. I needed to think. I’m not an impetuous person—not when it comes to choices. I used to jump into work with both eyes closed, because it was only my life to risk. Before you, there was no reason to care what happened. Now I have to face reality.”

“And that is?”

“That in order to love someone, you have to be willing to take that risk. I can’t live without you.”

She stared at him.

“Is your proposal still on the table?”

“No. When you walked out, it went away, and I’m not asking again. Lesson learned. It hurts to be told no.”

He flinched.

This was hard, but he was going to do it. She could humiliate him, break him, or walk out, and he’d deserve it. Still, he trusted her. She wouldn’t hurt him like he’d hurt her.

Mattie was sweet and gentle.

She
was
love.

“Good. Women shouldn’t propose anyway. It sounds wrong when they do it.”

She stared at him.

“If you have nothing more to say, Mr. Remington,” Mattie stated, her heart hurting by his comment, “then you should go.”

“I do have more to say. The reason women shouldn’t ask is this.”

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a black velvet box. “The man is supposed to bring it all to the table, and here it is. I had to guess at the size.”

She stared at him.

“What?”

He continued, “When we’re old, and we look back at this mess, I want you to remember me getting down on my knee and bringing you my heart. I want you to look down at your hand and know that you were worth a real proposal, one where I was ready to give you my life. I love you, Mattie,” he said, dropping to not one knee, but two. “Marry me. Accept me as I am, and know that I’m not perfect, but I do love you and always have. You were the one ten years ago. You’re still her.”

She didn’t say anything.

That silence sat between them until it was crystal clear that he’d just been shot down.

“Okay, I guess I deserved that.”

Getting up, he crossed toward the bookshelf. He righted the picture and placed the closed box beside it. “If you ever decide that you want me in your life, just bring the ring. Even if it’s forty years from now, I’ll be waiting. You waited ten years for me to figure it out, and this is the least I can do for you. You’re it, Mattie. There will be no one else. We die as a couple, or I die alone.”

Her heart ached.

She loved him.

Despite it all, she knew he was carrying a weight on his shoulders. Roman’s life had been filled with heartache after heartache. He didn’t deserve to hurt.

He deserved love.

Her love.

As he crossed the room, he wanted to die inside. She was sending him away.

“Roman?”

He stopped. “Yes, Mattie?”

He fully expected her to whip it at him. If the box clocked him in the back of the skull, he wouldn’t be shocked. He’d screwed this one up.

“I’ll marry you. For the record, I didn’t need a ring. I needed you. What matters most is that you give me your heart, not some jewelry.”

He turned, praying she wasn’t going to take this away from him. “I don’t want to lose you, Mattie. I’m afraid someone is going to hurt you because of me, and then I’m going to do what my parents did.”

He took a breath.

“I’m not as strong as everyone thinks I am.”

She grabbed the ring box and moved toward him. “Ask me again.”

Roman dropped back down to his knee. “Matilda Boyd, will you marry me and be my wife?”

“Will you never leave my side, Roman? Will you stick even when it’s easier to run?”

“I will stay by you until my last breath.”

“Will you love me forever?”

How could he not?

“Yes, without a doubt.”

“I’ll love you forever too, so yes, I’ll marry you.”

He flipped open the box and waited.

“Jesus! Roman! What the hell is that?” she asked, covering her mouth with her one hand.

“A ring?”

“It’s insane. That’s not a ring, That’s a rock on a band. That’s ridiculous!”

He laughed. “The ring matters, Mattie. It’s still not as beautiful as you.”

She held out her hand for him to slip it on. When it was on her finger, it actually fit.

“I don’t want to wait to get married. I don’t have any family to invite to a wedding,” she stated.

He didn’t mind. “We can go right now.”

Mattie laughed. He was going to drive her insane. He went from reserved to impetuous in seconds.

It was going to be one hell of a ride.

“How about the day after we clean up this mess? Then we can start our lives with a clean slate.”

He kissed her. His hand slid into the back of her hair and his mouth moved over hers with love and gentleness. He couldn’t believe she’d forgiven him again.

Mattie’s hands slid up his torso, beneath his shirt. “Maybe we should celebrate.”

He was more than happy to oblige. “I love you.”

She knew he meant it.

“I love you too.”

Roman went back to kissing his fiancée. As he backed her toward the bed, she already had his shirt half off, and his jeans open.

Yeah, he could do this the rest of his life.

Mattie was enjoying the kiss. Roman’s hands were holding her tightly to his body, and she was heating up.

When they tumbled backward onto the bed, she landed on the bottom.

Mattie loved being trapped beneath him.

This was the best place in the world to be, and she knew it. His mouth began leaving little bites across her throat and collarbone. When she moaned, it made him wilder.

“We should have gotten naked before we fell onto the bed,” he muttered. “Now I have to slow down to take off your jeans.”

She laughed as she pulled his shirt off. “Hurry.”

Yeah, he needed to do just that.

Mattie’s hands were in the front of his jeans, and she had him in a death grip.

Nothing had ever felt that good in his life. “Touch me,” he whispered, nipping her ear as he struggled to shove her pants down.

She did what he asked.

And he responded with getting harder.

Mattie loved the way he wanted her. She wasn’t some pathetic mousy girl to him.

He did love her.

“Roll,” he muttered, flipping them over. As soon as he did, Mattie climbed off the bed and began yanking her clothes off.

“God, yes! I want to make love to you with just that ring on.”

She stripped and he did the same. When they were both naked, they crashed back into each other, tumbling back onto the bed. Her legs were wrapped around him, his arms were holding her close.

As mouth and hands wandered, their desperation heated the room.

“I know I should take my time,” Roman muttered, biting her on the neck, “but I can’t.”

“Fast! I want to get lost in it!”

Oh, well, he could do fast.

The heat was pulling him under, and if he didn’t have her, he was going to lose his mind.

As his mouth moved across her flesh, he let his fingers travel lower. He wanted Mattie to be wet and ready. As he stroked her, covering his fingers in the delicious wetness, he couldn’t help but tease her to release.

She shook and shouted his name.

It was the most amazing thing he’d ever heard. She was going to be his wife. The sooner they got this case closed, the sooner he was claiming her as his forever.

The thought made him throb.

Or it could have been how she was wildly stoking him through her own orgasm.

Yeah, he needed fast.

As she fell, he didn’t want to wait. The second his name escaped her lips, he struck burying himself in her body.

He nearly came.

She was so wet and tight that he couldn’t think straight. Never had he made love to a woman and felt like this. Mattie touched on something deep in his soul.

It was love.

“Take me, Roman, please!”

That he could do.

As he began moving, gliding in and out of her body, his hands held hers above her head. He pounded into her, and slid nearly free of her body.

She was begging.

Moaning.

And then she was shattering apart again.

He wanted to die buried in her body. If he had to go, this was how. She was so vocal, tight, and his.

Those three things made it hard to hold on. As her body began milking his, he wanted something more.

He wasn’t ready to fall.