Haven of Nightmares (Littlemoon Investigations Book 5) (9 page)

“Why does everyone think I’m some weakling who can’t take care of himself in a bad situation?”

She grinned. “It was like that time when you…”

Mattie stopped talking.

Her heart skipped in her chest at what she’d nearly done. She had almost discussed that first time they met.

Roman stopped in front of a door and unlocked it with a master key. “When I what?” he asked.

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. That was a long time ago. That’s no longer any of us. We’re not high school kids anymore.”

He was aware.

“At some point, you’ll have to talk about it,” he said, pushing the door open. It had been his sister’s room when she was alive.

Honestly, she didn’t want to go there. She was afraid she’d tell him the truth. Mattie held the secrets he was searching for, and she knew it.

Once Pandora let them out of the box, she wasn’t quite sure how he’d feel about her.

About Devora.

About her memory.

“Goodnight, Roman.”

“Aren’t you hungry? Don’t you want to get dinner?”

She shook her head. “No, I want to think.” Mattie didn’t believe it was a good idea to be anywhere near him. If she was, the truth would definitely come out.

God!

She wanted him to know all of it.

“Are you sure? If you change your mind, I had Elbert, the grounds keeper, pick up some things for us.”

It was tempting.

WAY. TOO. TEMPTING.

“No, it’s best I do my thinking alone.”

Mattie closed the door in his face, and there was the audible click.

“Mattie.”

She didn’t answer.

Maybe she was right. With the way that he was beginning to feel, he should do some thinking too.

Far from her.

Chapter Four

Tuesday Night

Ten P.M

He couldn’t sleep.

For the last two hours, he remained on his old bed, staring up at the ceiling. First, a twin bed sucked. He was a grown ass man, and there was no reason he should be sleeping in one.

In fact, he knew there was a big, soft, comfortable king bed in his parent’s room.

Only, he couldn’t go in there.

A part of him wouldn’t allow it to happen. That was the final place his father and mother had been before they died. His father had woken up, gone to the citadel, and hung himself.

Not long after, his mother, so lost in the pain and anguish, had ended her life.

By going in there, he was forced to face not only his demons, but theirs too.

Roman was pretty sure he wasn’t strong enough.

As he remained on his bed, he could hear something. It was a soft sound, and it seemed far away. His heart began pounding faster, unsure what it was.

Roman had to investigate.

While he and Matilda were there, he needed to keep them safe. After all, he’d failed at keeping Devora safe.

Yeah, failed miserably.

Pulling on his jeans and hoodie, he opened the door. Now, he could discern the sound.

It was a piano.

It was coming from downstairs.

Well, he knew that there were either two options. Mattie was playing, or Tori’s ghost had come to visit. From the stories he’d heard, he knew Bethany loved the piano.

This was going to prove interesting.

At his sister’s old door, he lightly tapped. Hopefully, Mattie would be safely behind it. When no one answered, he knew that she had to be the one playing.

Heading down the hall, using the light from his phone to guide him, he crossed the large foyer to the conservatory door.

It was open a crack, and he prayed that when he pulled on it, the door wouldn’t squeak too much.

Holding his breath, Roman slowly began opening it.

Thankfully, it was silent.

Inside, sitting on the stage, there was the same old grand piano that he’d first seen Mattie at all those years ago.

Her long blonde hair was loose, she was wearing a pair of sweats, and she looked exactly the same. It was as if ten years hadn’t even passed.

She was lovely.

It hit him.

This was the woman he had fallen in love with all those years ago.

It was how her fingers moved so eloquently across the keys, pulling such a haunting tune from it.

It was seductive and called to him.

Instead of announcing his arrival, Roman took a seat not far behind her.

He listened.

It was beyond beautiful.

While he’d forgotten a lot, he couldn’t forget the melody. It was that same tune she’d played when he found her ten years ago.

As she got to the end, she stumbled on a few notes.

And she cursed like a sailor.

It made him smile.

Yeah, this was the woman.

How had he not noticed the difference all those years ago? How had he fallen for the other woman when this one was clearly meant to be his?

Oh, yeah.

He remembered.

It was the hormones.

He wanted to get laid, he wanted a girlfriend, and he didn’t take into consideration the long term.

He’d been an asshole.

When Mattie stopped playing, Roman began clapping.

She gasped and spun around, nearly tripping over the piano bench. Her glasses went sliding across the floor, and he went to retrieve them.

Mattie didn’t move.

She didn’t know why she came down here to play. Something compelled her to do it for old time’s sake. She couldn’t sleep, and the need to wander overtook her.

“That was beautiful, Mattie.”

She didn’t say a word. She couldn’t.

Roman looked the same as he did all those years ago. He was even wearing that damn college hoodie—his alma mater. Then it had been his aspiration, but now it was his past.

Oh God.

She was sinking fast.

“I’m sorry I snuck up on you,” he said, picking up her glasses and then hopping onto the stage. As he moved toward her, she took a step back.

It broke him.

She was afraid, and he didn’t doubt that it had everything to do with him being a suspected murderer. Could he blame her? He would have been skittish too.

“I won’t ever hurt you,” he said. “I swear I won’t. I don’t hurt women then, or now.”

That was a lie.

He’d hurt her, and he knew it.

Roman had to choose back then, and he’d picked the wrong twin. He was guilty of the crime, and he’d paid for it.

“I came down to play,” she said, waiting for him to slip her glasses onto her nose. “I was compelled to do it. Sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t. I couldn’t sleep. I never could after everything that happened here.”

“Me either.” She stared at him. “I should go.”

“Please, Mattie, don’t.”

She paused.

“We can’t keep evading this. At some point, we need to talk. I’m too exhausted over all of this to chase you down and force you. I just want it to be easy. It’s all my heart can take at this point.”

She stopped with her back still toward him.

Matilda knew how he felt.

She felt it too.

This whole thing had drained her, and she was on the verge of breaking. Mattie wanted to weep over the pain that was living in her.

“What do you want to know?” she asked, unsure that it was her voice, which said it. She sounded so unfamiliar and distant.

“Why didn’t you tell me that I’d made a mistake? All those years ago, why didn’t you just find me privately to tell me that Devora wasn’t the one I’d met here?”

“Would it have mattered?”

“Yes, I believe it would have.”

She stayed facing the auditorium.

There was a choice to be made. She’d kept the secret for long enough. Devora was gone. Keeping it wasn’t honoring her memory.

It was damaging it.

“When I told her about you, she told me I’d just screw it up. She told me that you were popular, the headmaster’s kid, and you wouldn’t like me when you figured out I was…boring and a nerd.”

He listened.

That was so not the truth.

He was their son, but Rylee, she was their treasure. He was invisible, just like her. Only no one saw it but him.

“Before I could even make up my mind, she found you outside that same day. It was fall, and you were playing football with some friends in the quad.”

He was aware.

“She made her move before I could even get the courage to do it. My mistake was telling her about you. The second I did, I destroyed it.”

Roman recalled the memory. He had been playing football, and when Devora came up to him, smiled, and asked him out for coffee, he just assumed…

Plus, all the guys there were finally impressed. He wasn’t just the headmaster’s kid. He had the attention of a hot girl.

He’d got sucked into it.

“When she got back to the dorm, she told me what she did. She told me that if I said anything, you’d be pissed. She liked you from afar, and now she had her shot.”

He moved closer.

“Had you come to me, I wouldn’t have dated your sister, Mattie.”

She shrugged. “No one sees me, Roman. It’s just how it is. When we were born, she came first. I was the tag along. When she disappeared, my parents were crushed.”

He got it.

He had lived it too.

“She was happy. You were happy. Who was I to interrupt that? I wasn’t meant to have what she had. As she told me, I was plain. I wasn’t enough to hold anyone’s attention. She was right. You never noticed. We had different eyes, and you still never noticed.”

He turned her around.

She was right.

Hers were a brilliant blue, and Devora’s were green. That should have cued him in—
if he hadn’t been stupid with hormones
.

“I am so sorry.”

“There’s no point. You both had a year, and you were both happy. I stayed away. I avoided you for that year as best as I could. I couldn’t let her happiness be destroyed.”

“Why, Mattie?” he asked, touching her cheek.

“Because she was my twin. She was me. We were identical, down to the smallest cell in our bodies. We split, and she found the happiness. I didn’t. Only one of us could have you. She won, because she always did. I loved her too much to see her unhappy.”

His heart ached.

Roman just realized something.

He’d missed out on a very gentle, sweet soul. With Devora, she was fun, but she was missing something. She was void of that one trait that he admired more than anything,

Compassion.

“So you let the charade continue.”

“I did. She was happy. You two were discussing the future. You were talking about being together forever. You found your soul mate, and who was I to stop it? I knew that day, when we met here, that you were meant to be mine. I knew.”

He was surprised she’d said it.

For some reason, Roman didn’t think she’d blurt it out, but instead tuck it away.

“Since Devora and I were the same, I figured she lucked out. I gave up on love. I moved on.”

His heart ached.

He’d felt it that day too.

Roman knew when he saw her. Only, hormones and teenage stupidity got the best of him.

“I’m sorry,” she said, going to move off the stage.

He grabbed her hand.

“Mattie, I’m the one who’s sorry. I felt it too. I thought she was you. I didn’t know. Had I known, I would have fixed it. I would have…”

“You would have what? Left her? You would have broken her heart? See? I couldn’t let that happen. There was already one wounded soul. What good was adding two more people to the mix? Sometimes, we bear our crosses alone. Sometimes it feels wrong, but it’s the right thing to do.”

He pulled her close, and she didn’t fight.

Wrapping his arms around her, he held on. “Mattie, I’m sorry you’ve been hurt all these years. I’m sorry you felt invisible. You’re not invisible any more. I see you.”

When he lifted her chin, so she was looking right into his eyes, he saw the hurt.

He wanted to make it go away.

Slowly, he lowered his mouth to hers.

She didn’t fight.

Mattie didn’t run.

Just as he was about to place his lips against hers, there was a large crash.

The piano lid slammed shut.

Mattie jumped.

As did Roman.

The lights began flickering.

The curtains around them blew in an invisible breeze. Mattie tried to move away from him, but Roman wouldn’t let her go.

“Something is here,” she said, eyes as large as saucers. Any hope that the earlier footsteps were simply an echo were now gone. They had company.

He was well aware because he felt it too.

“We’re getting out of here,” he said, leading her up the aisle and toward the door.

The door slammed as they approached.

“Oh God!” she yelped, moving closer into his body for some iota of protection.

He ignored it, yanking it open. As they headed back up the stairs, it got silent again.

“What was that?”

He wasn’t quite sure.

Whatever it was, it didn’t want him touching Matilda. It all went crazy when he went to kiss her.

Great.

They had a pissed off ghost.

“Let’s go back to my room. I need to call Tori and Julian,” he stated. While this wasn’t the craziest thing he saw, he knew Matilda was freaked out. Leaving her alone didn’t seem like the best idea.

She didn’t hesitate. She didn’t let go of his hand the entire time. Mattie was frozen in fear.

She couldn’t.

Inside the bedroom, he dialed the phone. Julian answered on the second ring.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concern in his voice.

Roman told him what had happened. All the while, Mattie stayed against his body. She had her eyes closed, as if she was trying to hide from reality.

He wished he could join her.

Really
.

That would be a great trip.

“We may need an intervention,” he said, trying not to be too specific. In this case, it might be best for Matilda to see what was possible, not hear it. She was clearly freaked out.