Having My Baby (25 page)

“This is it,” Jill said. “Four-twenty one Gladiola.” Jill leaned out the window and entered the gate code Derrick had jotted down for her.

The wrought iron gate opened and she drove up the driveway between two rows of giant imported palms. She parked the car near the wide stairs leading to the entrance of the house and even Lexi was quiet as they watched a fountain of water rise high into two wide arcs before cascading into a surrounding pond.

“I had no idea,” Sandy said.

“You and me both.”

“He’s done well for himself.”

“Apparently.”

Speaking of the devil
.

Upon seeing Derrick, Jill couldn’t seem to stop her heart from pounding against her chest. Before they had a chance to climb out of the car, he was headed their way, taking the stairs two at a time.

As Sandy helped Lexi out of her car seat, Derrick opened the back door and unstrapped Ryan. “Chelsey is already inside taking pictures,” he said.

“Great,” Sandy said while Jill tried to collect herself.

Ryan made a gurgling noise.

“Did you hear that?” Derrick asked. “I think he said Da-Da.”

Sandy laughed. “Nice try,” she said. “He won’t be talking for a few more months.”

“Hey, Lexi,” Derrick said, patting the top of her head as she came around the back of the car and latched onto his leg, a routine the two of them shared every time they saw one another.

“Your house is amazing,” Sandy said. “An elegant stone structure. Grand and overdone—like its owner,” Sandy told him as she moved to the back of the car to grab some things from the trunk.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll take that as a compliment. I designed the monstrosity myself,” he added proudly.

Sandy used her hand to shield her eyes from the morning sun as she looked toward the house again. “Amazing. Do you mind if Lexi and I go on ahead and take a look around, or do we need a tour guide?”

“Make yourselves at home,” he said, ignoring her tour guide comment.

Lexi and Sandy ran off before Jill could stop them. A quiet moment stretched into two while Jill wondered what was going through his head. She couldn’t help but feel as if he was avoiding making eye contact with her as he fiddled with getting Ryan out of the back seat.

“Thanks again for letting us use your house and for getting here extra early to let Chelsey set up.”

“Any time,” he said.

“About last night—” Jill said after swallowing a lump in her throat. “I hope things won’t be—you know—”

“Jill! Where are you? I need you,” Chelsey yelled from the top of the stairs. “Do you need help carrying something?”

“I’ll be right there,” Jill said.

She looked at Derrick, and almost it seemed, by accident, he looked at her for the first time since last night, and in that instant, she knew the answer to her question. Not only did he regret making love to her, he was going to pretend it never happened. Her heart sank as if there was a heavy chain wrapped around her aorta, twisting and pulling.

Ryan cried out, prompting Derrick to jump into action. He took Ryan from his car seat and held him close to his chest. Then he grabbed the baby bag and as Jill followed him toward the stairs leading to the house he said, “We couldn’t have asked for better weather today.”

Instead of answering him, she stopped where she was and put her face toward the sun and breathed in some fresh ocean air. Last night Derrick Baylor had wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. They had made love more than once. For the first time in her life, she had experienced what lovemaking was all about. Giving and taking, laughing and loving. Every moment had been special. She had never been able to experience anything like that with Thomas. Thomas had what the doctors referred to as psychological impotence. His thoughts or feelings prevented him from a full erection. She had done everything in her power to help him…them…so the two of them could have that special intimacy between two people. She went to the doctor with Thomas and she tried everything: sexy lingerie, a strip tease, two weeks one-on-one with a sex therapist after he insinuated that she might be the problem. Hell, she would have had a pole installed in their bedroom if he had asked, but Thomas never seemed all that interested.

Derrick, on the other hand, had taken interest in every part of her body last night, waking something dormant inside of her and making her aware of all she’d been missing. In one night, he had made her feel as if she had climbed to the top of Kilimanjaro blindfolded. He had taken her to new heights, to a place she had no idea existed. Holding her, looking into her eyes, they had climaxed together and she was pretty sure she had been reborn.

Until now.

“Is anything wrong?” he asked her, bringing her out of her trance.

She put on a happy face. “Don’t be silly,” she lied. “Everything is hunky dory.”

Chapter Twenty

For the last two hours Derrick’s insides curdled and twisted every time he glanced Jill’s way. He knew damn well leaving her place in the dark of night without a word said had been uncouth. But he hadn’t known what else to do. He knew he needed to talk to her, but what would he say?
Last night was the most incredible night of my life. You’re an incredible woman and you are beautiful.

Every morning when I awake, my first thoughts are of you. Sunset, sunrise…I think of you. I look at my son…I see you. Right now, across the room, I hear you…and I find myself wanting to feel you wrapped in my arms again. And yet, I can’t say with conviction that you’re the only woman on my mind.

Is it possible to love two women
?

“Okay, ladies, you know the rules,” Jill said.

His house was filled to the brim with people.

He noticed that Jill kept glancing toward the entryway. Tonight she would be cooking dinner for her parents, but before dinner, her parents had promised to come to Malibu to meet Derrick’s family and to see their daughter in action.

The three women selected to be a part of the
Everyday Woman Cook Off
had arrived twenty minutes ago. Chelsey had brought everything they needed to prepare the kitchen for the cook off.

Also joining the fun were Derrick’s mother and father, who had arrived shortly after Jill and Sandy; same with Derrick’s two sisters and his twin brothers, Brad and Cliff. A day spent with the Baylor family was always like attending a reunion, everybody acting as if years had passed since they saw each other last.

Chelsey was already taking pictures and also showing a young photographer-in-training how things were done.

The women who had come to cook were all over fifty and all wearing matching red aprons with
Food For All
printed in big block letters. They stood ready and waiting in Derrick’s restaurant-size kitchen.

“You have twenty minutes to make your appetizers,” Jill told the ladies. “The judges will include myself; my mother, the lovely Mrs. Garrison who has come all the way from New York City,” she grinned and gestured toward her mother who had just walked in the door, looking agitated, “and the charming Mrs. Baylor, mother of NFL star Derrick Baylor, whom most of you have already had the pleasure of meeting. As you know, the winner of this cook off will be featured on the cover of next month’s issue of
Food For All
.”

One of the cooks held up a hand. “I have a question.”

“Go ahead, Mrs. Murnane.”

“There are only two ovens and three of us.”

“Because of the sudden change in venue,” Jill said, “cooking time will not be included in the twenty minute prep time you’ve been given.”

“Who gets to use the oven first?” Mrs. Murnane wanted to know.

Jill tried to ignore the dull throbbing working its way toward the front of her skull. “After the twenty minutes are up,” Jill said, “time will not be a factor. But if it will make you feel better, you can put your cooking sheet in the oven first.”

One of the ladies wore a tall white European chef hat, and she shook her head, causing the hat to tilt to the right. “Sorry,” she said. “I already called it.”

Jill frowned. “Called what?”

“This oven right here.”

“All right then, Mrs. Murnane will use the one on the other side.”

The woman with the braided silvery hair shook her head exactly as the lady with the hat had done. “Nope. Sorry. It’s taken.”

Derrick handed Ryan to his mother and came to stand at Jill’s side. He pointed outside toward the pool. “There’s another kitchen in the guest house. I’ll take Mrs. Murnane’s tray over there when she’s ready.”

Mrs. Murnane didn’t look satisfied.

“The kitchen includes a state-of-the-art oven,” Derrick added, “one of those high-performance Bosch ovens all the women in town are raving about.”

Jill wondered if he’d just made that up or if he was a connoisseur of kitchen appliances.

“Fine,” Mrs. Murnane said, her lips pursed. “Please run over there now,” she told Derrick, “and preset the temperature to 350 degrees.”

The silver-haired woman frowned before bending low to take a closer look at her oven. “Is that fair?” she asked. “My oven isn’t a Bosch.”

“Are you going to strangle her, or am I?” Derrick whispered into Jill’s ear.

Jill smiled. “I think I’ll let you do the honors.”

“All three of the ovens,” Derrick told the ladies, “are state-of-the-art appliances with speed convection. The previous owner was a chef for a five-star restaurant.”

“I thought you designed this house?” Jill said under her breath.

“I did.”

Jill shook her head since he was obviously making up a story, but she let it go. The only thing that mattered was that the women were suddenly satisfied with the equipment they had to work with. All three women looked at Jill and waited for further instruction.

Jill glanced at the clock. “Okay, ladies. Let’s start cooking.”

Pans and utensils clinked as the three cooks worked their magic, everyone around them talking at once. Out of the corner of her eye, Jill caught her mother motioning for her to come talk to her.

“Mom,” Jill said as she headed for the entry where her mother stood. “Come into the kitchen and meet everyone.”

“Not now. Your father’s waiting in the car and I only came here to tell you that we won’t be able to stay after all. Your father has been called back to the office—some sort of emergency that only he can resolve.”

Jill shouldn’t have been surprised, but the truth was, deep down, she’d thought that if her parents showed up, she would place Ryan in her mother’s arms and her mother would instantly realize that there was more to life than fashion shows and five-star hotels.

“Would you look at that?” Derrick said from across the room. “Ryan has your mother’s mouth.”

Before Jill could stop him, Derrick had crossed the room and placed Ryan in her mother’s arms. Almost instantly her mother’s features softened as she gazed upon her grandson.

“The same green eyes, too,” Derrick’s sister said.

It wasn’t long before everybody except the cooks were huddled around her mother, everyone commenting at once on the amazing likeness between Ryan and Jill’s mother.

A honk sounded from outside and her mother looked up at Jill with watery eyes.

“It’s okay,” Jill told her. “I know you wouldn’t leave so soon if you didn’t have to.”

Derrick took Ryan from her mother and Jill walked her outside, down the stairs, and to the driveway where her father waited impatiently in their rental car.

For the first time in many years her mother turned to her with open arms and they held each other for a short time. Surprised by her mother’s frailness, Jill found herself wanting to tell her how much she loved her, and then beg her to stay for a few days or at least a few hours and just hold her and talk to her about babies and life, but no words came.

“Come back with us,” her father said through the open window, interrupting the first
real
moment she’d had with her mother in years, if ever. “Thomas has hired an investigator in the area and he has some information on the Baylor family. If you are serious about protecting your son’s interests, give Thomas a call.”

“Derrick is a good man,” Jill said. “Ryan will be fine.”

“Thomas is worried about you.”

Her mother’s pale, slender fingers touched Jill’s forearm as if in understanding.

“Tell Thomas I’m fine,” Jill answered. “More importantly, tell him I’m happy.”

Her mother patted her arm one last time before she climbed into the car.

Jill stood in the driveway for a moment after their car disappeared through the gates and down the road. She tried to recall being a small child wrapped in her mother’s arms, tried to remember even one time that just the two of them had spent quality time together, but no memories came forth.

A gentle hand came to rest upon her shoulder and when she turned about she was greeted by Derrick’s mom.

“Is everything all right?” Mrs. Baylor asked.

“Everything’s fine,” Jill said. “Thanks for asking.”

“I’m sorry they had to return to New York so soon. I was hoping to invite your parents over for a real hoedown—something bigger and better than the little get-together you experienced last week.”

The woman was like sunshine, Jill thought, and if Derrick’s mom could be bottled and sold, she’d be worth millions. “How did you do it?” Jill asked.

“Do what?”

“Raise all of those kids. Everybody seems to get along and they genuinely seem to like one another.”

“I had Phil to help me. Even so, there were days when I had to chase a few kids around the house with a broom.”

Jill laughed.

“And if Ryan turns out to be anything like his father,” she added, “you’ll have your work cut out for you.”

“Why? What was Derrick like as a child?”

“Ask his siblings and they’ll all say the same thing. He was bossy.” A twinkle set in her eye. “He was also my most sensitive child—even more so than the girls.”

Jill couldn’t imagine it. “Really?”

“That boy cried at the drop of a hat. If somebody took his toy, he cried. If his dinner wasn’t hot enough, he cried. If his sister looked at him funny, he cried.”