Having the Rancher's Baby (13 page)

She shrugged. It wasn't Cole's fault the visit in the apartment had been awful. But while Miranda's behavior was inexcusable, she'd asked some important questions. Ones Violet also wanted answered.

He moved closer. “At least she's behaving so far.”

“Thank goodness.” Violet strived to keep her voice light. In actuality, her emotions were running high. It had been that kind of day.

Miranda had practically unraveled when Nathan called Raquel
abuela
. Apparently, however, she'd refused to give Raquel the satisfaction of a response, and had quickly collected herself. The remnants of her fury were still present, though, in the cool way she treated the other woman.

Violet's parents were also in a snit. They'd arrived a short while ago, her mother agitated and her father grim-faced. They did manage to put on a good front with the rest of the guests—especially Cara's parents, who were lovely—while bickering and exchanging digs when they thought no one was looking or listening.

The only really happy people in the room were Raquel and Reese's father, Theo, who both seemed unaware of the tension simmering beneath the surface.

“Your mom hasn't stopped talking about the baby,” Cole said to Violet.

“Do you mind?” Now that she'd officially passed the twelve-week mark, she felt ready to talk with people.

“Are you kidding?” Cole grinned. “Bring it on.”

“Really?”

“I may not have this all figured out yet, but that doesn't mean I'm not excited.”

She'd trust his answer more if not for the glaring lack of a twinkle in his eyes.

“Is your mom always so direct?”

“Always. Especially when she's on a mission.” His grin faded. “Don't say I didn't warn you.”

“I can understand. She's probably lonely.”

“Enough about my mother.” He lowered his head until his mouth was level with Violet's ear. Before today, she'd have turned to him for a kiss. But not here and not now. “Are we still on for later? This shindig should be over by four.”

She was the one who'd wanted to have a conversation with him. Still, she hesitated. “You promised to drive your mom to the inn.”

“That'll take a half hour tops.”

“She wants to visit with you and mine wants to take me shopping.”

“Maternity clothes?” His glance traveled to her middle.

Violet couldn't help herself and laughed. It felt good after the past exhausting ninety minutes. “Shoe shopping. For her. As if she needs more shoes.” Violet sobered. “It's really an excuse. I'm sure she wants to talk about Dad and the divorce. She's convinced he's trying to deprive her of her rightful share. I'm pretty sure she's buying up everything in sight before the accountants finish with the audit.”

“Audit? Of what?”

“Their marital assets.” Violet raised a hand. “Please don't ask me. The whole thing just boggles my mind.”

“I'm sorry, sweetie.”

He hadn't used any terms of endearment since the day they'd rushed to the hospital. Then, he'd been trying to calm her fears.

Today, however, he said the word softly, with affection. She discovered she longed to hear it again in a far more private setting.

“Hey, you two, hurry up.” Raquel poked her head around the corner. “We're ready to eat.”

“Here goes nothing,” Cole said.

Violet met his intimate gaze. All at once, her reservations and her irritation melted away. He was once again the man she'd fallen for.

Because there were too many of them to sit at the dining room table, Raquel had opted for a serve-and-seat-yourself buffet. She'd spared nothing, and the spread of food was fit for a king.

The only exception was the children. They sat at a child-size table Josh had purchased secondhand a few weeks ago. Normally, it was kept in the kitchen. Today Raquel had relocated it to the dining room.

Violet had always wanted a table and chairs like that for her own children.

Children? She hadn't yet had this baby, and she was already thinking ahead to another one. With Cole? She studied him from a distance—and was promptly cut short when Reese accosted her.

“I'm so excited for you.” Reese grabbed her and hugged her. “I just had to tell you again.”

“She's good at keeping a secret.” Cara came over to join them, leveling a finger at Violet. “That's for sure.” She'd known about the baby only because Josh had spilled the beans.

The men were less demonstrative, but enthusiastic nonetheless with their well-wishing. Reese's father especially.

“Not that we're related,” Theo said to Cole and Violet, “but I feel like I'm going to be a grandfather.”

“And me a grandmother,” Raquel added enthusiastically.

Everyone went still, and Miranda sucked in a sharp breath.

Uh-oh. So much for Violet basking in the attention. The atmosphere in the room instantly changed. Even plates laden with the delicious fare didn't make a difference.

Cole stayed steadfastly at Violet's side as if he could shield her from all the negativity. They found two seats on the living room sofa and dug in.

“This is delicious.” Violet's mother turned to Raquel. “You've always been such a good cook.”

“Gracias.”
Raquel beamed. Was she truly immune to the tension or just choosing to pretend all was well?

Violet's parents sat at opposite ends of the room. Perhaps things between them were worse than she had initially thought. Her mother kept up a lively conversation with anyone who would listen, except for her husband, whom she ignored. Violet recognized the often used ploy.

“Reese and Gabe tell me the ranch is doing better,” Theo commented around a bite of beef enchilada. “That this last quarter has seen a decrease in losses.”

“Dad!” Reese sighed wearily. “What did I tell you?”

“That's right.” He looked apologetic from where he sat in the leather chair that had once been August's favorite. “I was warned I'm not allowed to talk business at dinner.”

“I agree with your daughter,” Raquel replied good-naturedly. “But in all these years, I haven't been able to stop them. It's part of ranching.” Her glance encompassed not only Gabe but also Cole and Josh, as if they, too, were her sons.

Miranda visibly stiffened, her fork clutched tightly in her hand. Cole tensed, probably bracing himself should his mother choose to lash out. After a moment with no outburst, he marginally relaxed.

“It's okay,” Gabe told Theo. “You can talk business. I'm actually happy to report that things are improving. Turns out we may not have to wait until the fall sale. There's a buyer from Oklahoma coming out next week to look at our steers. If he likes what he sees, he's prepared to make an offer.”

“I know the one you're talking about,” Theo said. “He wouldn't be making the trip if he wasn't serious.”

Violet couldn't help noting no one mentioned the mustang sanctuary and equine therapy program, though both played a large role in the ranch's financial recovery. The rent Cara paid for her share of the pastureland and her recent contribution to the delinquent property taxes had made a significant difference to the decrease in losses.

“There's still a lot of work ahead,” Josh cautioned. “We aren't yet operating in the black.”

“How soon until you are?” Miranda asked. “Operating in the black?” She'd barely touched her food after Raquel's earlier comment, not that she'd been wolfing her meal down to begin with.

“No one's sure,” Josh said. “We agreed to assess things at the end of a year, then move forward carefully and conservatively.”

“This November then?”

“More like December.”

Violet understood Josh's reluctance. There was always the chance of a snafu. The buyer from Oklahoma might change his mind or a check from the fall sale bounce.

“But we're optimistic,” Josh said.

“I'm glad to hear that.” Miranda set her plate down on the coffee table.

Initially, Violet thought it was because the children had finished eating and came charging into the living room, fighting each other for a place on Josh's lap. She was wrong. Miranda was on a mission, exactly as Cole had predicted.

“With the state of the ranch improving, there's no reason for both you and Cole to remain here. Certainly one of you can come home.”

Violet heard Cole groan under his breath. Without thinking, she reached over and laid a hand on his arm.

“California?” Violet's mother gasped softly. “Darling, you're not moving, are you?”

“No, Mom.”

“No one's moving,” Cole reiterated through clenched teeth.

“Why not?” Miranda asked. “You have a job and a home in California. You'll need both with a baby on the way.”

“The boys can't leave.” Theo chuckled amiably. “Someone needs to be in charge, now that Gabe's agreed to manage the Small Change for me full-time. Dos Estrellas can't operate on its own.”

All eyes flew to Gabe. Violet admitted to being shocked by the news, though anyone should have seen it coming. Gabe had been dividing his time between the neighboring ranches for months.

“It only makes sense.” Gabe took Reese's hand and fingered her sparkling engagement ring. “We are getting married.”

“I'll be leaving the place to Reese one of these days,” Theo continued, his face alive with joy. “And any grandchildren they give me, which I hope are many.”

“Daddy,” Reese exclaimed. “Don't talk like that. You're not going anywhere.”

“My intentions, exactly. I'm just saying, Dos Estrellas shouldn't take any steps back after taking so many forward. Good as Gabe is, expecting him to manage both ranches is asking too much.”

Miranda sat stoically in her chair.

“Congratulations.” Cara sent Gabe a fond smile. She was the only one in the room thinking of him.

The children, perhaps in response to the mixed moods of the adults, began whining and complaining.

“I bet they could use a nap.” Raquel started to rise.

Cara beat her to the punch. “I'll take them to the apartment. You all keep visiting.”

Violet silently commended her friend. Raquel assuming charge of the children would no doubt push Miranda over the edge.

Once Cara and the children were gone, conversation started again, though haltingly. As one by one people finished their dinner, Violet gathered their plates. She returned from her second trip to the kitchen and sat, listening to her mother's conversation with Raquel.

“You have such a beautiful home. I love the antiques. And that oil painting is absolutely gorgeous.”

“August took a lot of pride in this place.”

Violet felt her stomach tighten. Observing Cole, she saw the storm clouds gathering on his face.

Her mother turned to Miranda. “If I may ask, how come you didn't get the house in the divorce? Doesn't it usually go to the wife? Especially when she has children.”

The silence that followed was louder than any cannon fire.

“Mom!” Violet exclaimed, finding her voice.

Miranda appeared to fold in on herself. She glared openly at Raquel, no longer trying to hide her dislike. Raquel's mouth hung open in surprise and confusion.

“What?” Violet's mother asked innocently, looking around the room. “I'm curious.”

And intent on embarrassing her husband. Already, his face had turned a vivid scarlet.

“That's enough, Julia,” he said sharply.

“You always make such a big deal out of things. Everyone divorces these days. It's not a taboo subject.”

Before Violet's father could muster a response, Miranda said, “I left because of
her
. After she stole my husband.”

Raquel shifted nervously.

“That's enough, Mom.” Cole spoke brusquely.

“She asked, I answered.”

As if that was an excuse.

“How could you?” Violet demanded of her mother.

“You're overreacting, darling.”

Violet decided she hadn't reacted enough, and not only about this.

Miranda squared her shoulders. “I want my sons to come home. I don't see anything wrong with that.”

“For the tenth time,” Josh said, “I'm not leaving Mustang Valley.”

“Josh, please—”

“In fact, Cara and I are getting married. We were waiting to make an announcement.”

“No!”

“Thanks for your support,” Josh said snidely.

Tears blurred Violet's vision. She couldn't believe her parents would snipe at each other and that Cole's mother would be so blatantly rude. They should all be ashamed of themselves.

A painful sob lodged in her throat, making breathing difficult, and she began to shake. All at once a hand gripped her arm, firm and insistent. It belonged to Cole.

“Come on.” He pulled her up from the sofa. “Let's get out of here.”

She shook her head. How could she leave? This train wreck wasn't over.

“Think of the baby.”

Yes. He was right. Dr. Medina had warned her against stress.

Blindly following Cole, Violet let him lead her from the room, vaguely aware of her mother and Miranda calling their names.

Chapter Thirteen

Cole didn't ask where Violet wanted to go and she didn't object when he steered his truck in the direction of her house. Three minutes into the drive, her cell phone rang.

Recognizing the ring tone, she answered without saying hello. “Now's not a good time, Mom.”

“Your dad and I are sorry.”

“Okay.”

“That's it?”

“I'm hardly the only one you should be apologizing to.”

Cole looked over at her often as she talked. She held herself together, but just barely.

“Yes, well.” Her mother hated admitting she was wrong or had made a mistake. “We'll be there shortly. We can talk.”

Violet didn't hesitate. “No, go back to the resort.”

“Later then?”

“Not later, either.”

“You're annoyed.”

“Yes, Mom, I'm annoyed. What do you think? You were completely out of line and ungracious. Raquel has always been kind to you. I thought you two were friends.”

“Violet, please. What about our shopping trip?”

“I'll call you in the morning. Goodbye, Mom.”

She didn't talk the rest of the drive, which lasted only a few more minutes.

“Sweetie—”

“Not now, Cole.” She cut him off, too, then blew out a woeful sigh. “Sorry. I shouldn't snap at you. It's just that what happened back there was a terrible disaster. Humiliating. I don't ever want to be like them.”

“Tell me about it. My mom is a piece of work.”

“No more than my mom.”

At Violet's house, Cole pulled up to the curb and captured her hand. “We'll get through this.”

“Right.” She took comfort from his touch. He more than anyone understood having difficult parents.

“Come on. Let's get you off your feet.”

Inside, she went directly to her bedroom and donned shorts and a T-shirt, wishing she could shed the events of the past few hours as easily as she did her sundress. Cole was waiting for her in the kitchen. He'd kept himself busy by feeding the cats. Her mood lifted a tiny bit.

Should she invite him to spend the night again? Did he expect it?

Grabbing a diet soda from the fridge, she sat at the table.

“I thought you were avoiding caffeine.”

“I need a boost.” She took a long draw on the soda. “One tiny fall off the wagon won't hurt.”

“What are you going to do about your folks?”

“I don't know yet. Their divorce is getting out of control, and they're hurting so many people. Talk to them again, I guess.”

“I can't believe Josh and Cara are getting married.”

“Why?” She stared at Cole in astonishment. “They're in love.”

He reclined in his chair and stretched out his legs. “Josh has been down that road before. It didn't go well.”

“Cara's no addict. She hasn't been in and out of rehab.”

“Of course not. I'm just saying he's been married before and it tanked. I think he'd be a little leery about jumping in again, considering he's only been divorced nine months.”

“One bad marriage doesn't mean a second one will fail.”

“I suppose.”

“Is it just Josh and Cara or are you anti-marriage in general?”

She hadn't considered that possibility before, but in a way it made sense and would explain his reluctance.

“I don't know. I've seen a lot of broken marriages. My parents divorced when I was young. Yours are in the process and can barely stay in the same room without tearing into each other. Cara's marriage hit the skids after just five years. Yours, too.”

“It's not that simple. I had three miscarriages and Cara's son died. Josh's wife got addicted to pain pills after her car crash. I can tell you from personal experience, losses are damn hard on a relationship. You think they'll bring two people closer together, only the exact opposite is true. It rips them apart.”

“My parents didn't have a loss. Or yours.”

“Wow, Cole. You're kind of harsh.” She had a difficult time believing what she was hearing. “The death of love isn't any less of a loss.”

“You're right.” He sat up and pulled in his legs. “I guess I don't have a good opinion of marriage. I watched my parents hurt not only one another but Josh and me, too.”

“Is that why you haven't asked me to marry you?”

“I have.”

“You've hinted. Not the same thing.”

“You were the one who insisted we wait.” His tone had acquired an edge.

“In the beginning, yes, I did. I wanted for us to make progress first.”

“We've been together pretty much every day since I learned about the baby. I'd say we're making great progress.”

She told herself they were mad at their parents and unintentionally taking it out on each other. But the resemblance to her parents' bickering bothered her.

“We're still getting acquainted,” she said. “Building on our initial connection. A little late, I suppose.”

“Most people build on their connection before getting married.”

She took a moment to mentally regroup, not quite sure how they'd gone from discussing their parents to his lack of a proposal.

“I get that you're gun-shy,” she conceded.

“Aren't you?”

“Some.” She stared at him pointedly. “But I'm willing to make a commitment.”

“Wait a minute.” He frowned. “I have committed. I'm staying in Mustang Valley. Not returning to the rodeo circuit.”

“Temporarily.”

He didn't address her comment. “I'm trying, Vi. I'm not moving back to California. I didn't leave your side when we were at the hospital, and I stayed with you for three days when you needed help. I did all those things for only one reason.”

“The baby.” She finished for him.

“You and the baby. But you're the one I care about the most. I fully expect to love our kid when he or she is born. Until then, you're my first priority.”

First priority. Not exactly a romantic declaration, which, Violet realized, was what she wanted. What she deserved.

“I'm not saying marriage is off the table,” he continued.

Her brows shot up. “From what I can tell, it was never on the table.”

He spoke slowly and with a pronounced lack of conviction. “I think we should live together first.”

She gave a dry laugh. “I see. We maintain an escape plan until we're sure.”

“Not what I said.”

He'd implied it. “I don't need a husband. I can raise this baby alone.”

“Now you're being obstinate.”

Her eyes filled with tears and her throat burned. Dammit, she refused to be emotional. It was imperative she remain in control.

Cole must have sensed her fragile state and asked, “Why don't we finish this discussion later? We've both had a rough afternoon.”

“That's our problem, Cole. We've postponed when we should have been talking.”

“I don't disagree. But I still say this isn't the best day. We're upset. We watched our parents put on a ridiculous show. Let's wait for yours to go home tomorrow. Hopefully, they won't delay their departure again.”

“You're stalling.” Anger bloomed inside Violet. She felt its heat and power.

“What I'm suggesting is reasonable, Vi. We have time.”

“Be honest. You don't want this baby.”

“A part of me does. Very much. Another part of me worries that I'll be a terrible father, like my own.”

“Then it's me you don't want.”

“You're angry and you're not listening to me.”

She hated that he was right, and willed her pounding heart rate to slow.

“I'm overwhelmed.” He paused, seeming to search for the right words to express himself without hurting her. “My life is quickly moving in a direction I hadn't anticipated, and I can't keep up.”

“Mine, too.”

“I've lost the one job I ever had. Rodeoing. Given up the only home I really remember. My grandparents' place in California. And I'm about to become a father when I wasn't planning on it for several more years. Yeah, I get it,” he stated before she could speak. “You weren't planning on a baby, either. But it's been your dream. You're thrilled even though the circumstances aren't ideal.”

Right again.

She wiped at her damp cheeks. “I don't casually sleep with men.”

“Of course not. I never thought that for one second.”

“I only did with you because you're important to me. I liked you. A lot. I have from the time you came to Dos Estrellas, though I didn't always show it.”

She hoped he saw she was putting herself out there.

He must have for his voice softened. “We've rushed our relationship. Most people start out dating, then they fall in love, get married and have kids. We're doing things backward.”

She nodded contemplatively and traveled further out on the limb. “I might be a little in love with you.”

The long pause that followed was smothering. Her chest ached from oxygen deprivation. When he finally spoke, she barely heard him over the din in her ears.

“You know I haven't had any lasting relationships except for the one, and she lied to me.”

The pregnant woman who'd claimed Cole was the father of her baby in order to snare him.

Violet stared at him incredulously. “Do you think I'm trying to trap you?”

“No.” He scowled as if to emphasize his denial.

“Because I meant what I said. I don't need you to raise this baby.”

“I'm simply asking for more time. It's only been a month.”

“You've spent the night here. We've slept together. You said things to me. Things I believed.”

“I wasn't lying.”

The world she'd envisioned for herself felt as if it was breaking into small pieces and slipping between her fingers. “It's stupid, I know, but I thought you'd change.”

“I have changed,” he said. “Just, apparently, not into the man you want.”

She'd hurt him. It was evident by his pained features.

“It's not that I can't or won't be that man, but you have to be more patient with me.”

“I'm trying, Cole. You don't make it easy. You send mixed signals. When we're intimate, you make me believe what we have is real and full of potential. Then you pull away. Withdraw. Like you are now.”

“You do, too. Send mixed signals.”

Did she?

“One minute you're pressuring me to commit. The next, you're claiming you don't need me.”

She stood, propelled by anger and disappointment. “You're right. We've been rushing this. Maybe we should take a break. Retreat to our separate corners for a while.”

“I see,” he said coolly.

“What do you have to be mad about? I'm giving you what you want. Space. Freedom. No strings.”

“You don't like the way the conversation's going, so you suddenly decide we're through and I should go home.”

She rubbed her temple. “I have a headache.”

He stood abruptly. “However this turns out, I promise to take care of you and the baby.”

“Sounds...final.”

“I only asked for time. You're the one suggesting we split.”

“A break isn't splitting. You're making me out to be the bad guy.”

“I'm not like my brothers, Vi. I think that's what you're hoping for. A man who's ready to settle down and start a family. Unfortunately, you're stuck with me.”

She opened her mouth to speak, only to snap it shut. He would take what she said wrong or twist her words. Their conversation had degraded to that extent.

“I really think you should go.”

“This isn't what I want, Vi.”

Her temper flared. She knew she should bite her tongue, but she didn't. “The problem is you don't know what you want. Or you do and it isn't me.”

“Not true.”

“No, no. You don't want
pregnant
me.”

He shook his head. “I guess I just got my walking papers.”

She didn't correct him.

“I'll call you tomorrow,” he said.

“I'll call
you
. When I feel like talking.”

She didn't follow him to the entryway. Rather, she stood there in the kitchen, listening to the sound of his retreating footsteps and, seconds later, the closing door.

Violet slumped into the chair, all the strength in her legs having seeped away, and burst into tears. She'd just sent the father of her child away, possibly for good.

It might be for the best, only it felt more like the biggest mistake of her life.

As much as she'd hoped differently, they simply weren't in the same place at the same time. And while she couldn't fault Cole entirely, she did. For now.

Maybe later, she'd look at this more objectively. Maybe later, she'd admit the truth. To herself, at least. She didn't really want to raise her child alone.

* * *

T
HE
CATTLE
BUYER
from Oklahoma was due in less than a half hour. Joey had been assigned the task of waiting for the man's arrival at the ranch and then driving him out to meet Cole, Josh and Gabe in section four, where most of the young steers were currently pastured.

Normally, Vi would have been the one to drive the buyer. Instead, she'd headed home at lunchtime, still adhering to her part-time schedule. Cole thought she might also be avoiding him. They'd been doing that a lot this past week, avoiding each other. Conversing only when necessary. Glancing away when the other approached. Coming up with tasks needing immediate attention as an excuse to leave.

He was growing tired of it, and of the crummy way he felt.

Crummy? Who was he kidding? The
guilty
way he felt.

He especially hated the emotionally damaged expression Vi continually wore. She was better off without him. Perhaps they'd been foolish to think they could make a go of it. He may have been what she wanted that night in the bar—a diversion to help her forget the news of her parents' divorce—but he wasn't what she needed for the long haul. Cole had proved that by failing to rise so much as an inch above the very low relationship bar he'd set for himself.