Havoc (23 page)

She closed her fingers around his. Fates, if only it were true.

He let her hand slip and went back to his plate. “There were better ways for them to approach. And there were speculations afterward that they led the aggressors there because they couldn't hold them off any longer. There aren't many Primes left, they say—maybe ten thousand at the most. The aggressors were wearing them down, the SenVerse allies growing thin. They found a fresh new source of meat to throw at the Pakkat Union, buy themselves some time."

"That's a terrible thing to think.” But even as she said it, she realized it could be true. The Primes were cold, emotionless, above all, practical.

"It's even been conjectured,” Elion said, leaning closer and pointing his spork at her, “that the Primes seeded the Earth, forced the evolution of humans millions of years ago just so they'd be able to harvest us later. It's said they're practically omniscient, able to mathematically calculate outcomes aeons in advance."

She shook her head slowly, putting it all together in her mind. “But I still don't understand. How do the Primes benefit from the Conflicts? Why would they keep them going?"

"Raw material,” Elion said grimly. “They're inventors, creators first and foremost. I believe they seeded the planet. I believe they're constantly tampering with life. Only the strong endure and thrive. I think they're testing us, seeing if we're worthy.” He pointed again, as bad as Kels. “While humans and other sentient beings live and die in the Conflicts, they sit back and observe the results of their grand experiment. I don't trust ‘em; I don't like ‘em. It's not right they manipulate humans, and it's worse that so many humans allow it, like they're gods or something. Prime worshippers ran rampant over the Earth for a while before the EFC kicked them out. Still plenty of wingers out there who devote their lives to them for whatever reason. Don't think the Primes really care."

A cold chill spread through her. Her mother had been one of those worshippers, until Omaya's death. She'd never told Sayal anything but that they were the saviors of the SenVerse. Certainly the Primes considered themselves as such. Now this was another lie to hold against them. She could forgive her mother, for she had been a slave, but Sorush had manipulated Sayal, and her tutor had as well.

"Sayal?” Elion interrupted her thoughts. “You all right? You've bent your spork."

She realized she'd been pressing it down so hard the handle had curved. She dropped it. “I hate the Primes."

Yes, hate. Another human emotion she'd embrace.

Elion snorted softly, and one side of his mouth kicked up. “Good, then. We're all on the same side."

"Yes. We are."

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Sprawled in his chair watching the blue and red flow of space-time distortion rush past the viewing monitor, Kels slugged back another swallow of hool. Other than the muted hum of the life-support systems, quiet lay over the ship. El was in his cabin, Sayal in Kels's presumably. Several hours earlier she'd brought him dinner and tried to prod him to talk, as she must have sensed something bothered him. She had even rubbed his dick a little, but he'd nudged her away with a kiss and a pat on the ass. The day he turned down sex with a beautiful bird was a sad day indeed.

How had it come to this? And why? He contemplated the clear blue hool, the color of Earth skies and clean water, the color of Elion's eyes, and scowled. Everything had been going okay, hadn't it? Sure, he and El were broke most of the time, dodging blaster fire, running from creditors, getting randomly laid here and there. But it was an exciting life, a good life. Where'd it gone off the tracks so bad? He'd been hot and heavy with Keeva a couple of years earlier, and Elion had never squawked. Much. Who knew he'd object so strongly to Kels's finally popping the question?

Kels dangled his booted foot over the edge of chair and swung it idly. They'd work it out somehow, the three of them.

His foot stopped swinging. Nah. They wouldn't. Elion was right. He was always right. A drunken panic sloshed about in his head. He'd lose El for Keeva. Keeva with the fiery eyes and hot wit and hotter puss. But Elion... His mate. His best friend. And Sayal. Somehow she intruded into his thoughts, and he almost sobbed thinking of losing her too. Everyone was leaving him. He'd be alone again like he'd been after his family had been killed. Alone and lost, with no one to care about and no one to care about him. It was too awful to contemplate.

Wobbling only slightly, or so he convinced himself, Kels rose and staggered down the narrow corridor to Elion's quarters. He banged on the door with his fist.

It took a moment, while he braced against the door frame. The ship appeared to be rocking for some reason. Then the door slid open, and Elion stood before him in loose, light pants. He ground the heel of his palm into his eye and frowned. “Do you know what time it is?” he asked.

"No. Nor do I care.” Kels stumbled in, and the door shushed shut. “Mate, we need to talk."

"Crack and ruin,” Elion muttered. “You're pissed.” He took the bottle out of Kels's hand. “Have you broken into M'Tal's stash? You have, haven't you?"

"Just a little. He can take it out of my pay."

El gave him his back and set the bottle down on a low table next to his pillow. “Go to bed, Kels."

With a tired sigh, Kels dropped onto Elion's bed. His mate stared and shook his head. “No, none of that now. Your own bed. Sayal must be wondering where you've got to."

Kels stretched. Elion's mattress was far firmer than his. Probably hadn't taken as much abuse. “I thought she might be in here."

"You know she's not.” Elion sounded cross.

"Are you cross with me?"

"Yes. I'm tired and sore, and I want to sleep."

"But I've been thinking..."

"You can think tomorrow, when you're sober. Off with you now.” He made a shooing motion with his hands.

Kels moved over and patted the mattress. “I need your wise counsel."

"Why? It's not as if you've ever listened to me before."

"I will this time. I promise.” He tipped down his chin and gave El the big, sad eyes he couldn't resist.

"Saints below...” Elion put his hands on his hips and scowled. Then he sighed. “All right, then, for a few minutes. But no monkeyshines."

Kels pushed the pillow he'd stolen over for his friend and sulked. “I can't believe you'd accuse me of such a thing. When have I ever shined my monkey around you?” He snorted at his own joke, but an angry glare from Elion made him pucker his lips quick. “My, you're cranky."

Elion lay on his back, his arms crossed beneath his head while he stared at the ceiling. “Not everyone enjoys being roused in the middle of the night by a drunken captain."

"It's always night in space,” Kels observed philosophically. He lay on his side with his hands beneath his cheek, gazing at Elion's handsome profile. “You know, you're a good-lookin’ bloke. I even thought that when you were all burned. I pulled you out of that wreck and thought, ‘Here's a fine-lookin’ guy who'll be my best friend someday. He's worth savin'.’”

"I'm sure you did not,” Elion said shortly.

"Well, maybe not exactly those words.” His brain swimming with hool, Kels tried to latch on to a good way to start. It'd all seemed clearer out on the command deck. “Elion, are you going to leave me?"

Elion squinted over at him. “What? What are you talking about?"

Kels drew his knees up a bit. “I was thinking today. Keeva left; then Sayal told me she was going to leave, and then I made up my mind to find a way to make Keeva stay, and you more or less implied that you would leave.” It was a lot of words for his inebriated head. He closed his eyes and paused while his brain settled. A rush of emotion swept through him, and he bit it down as best he could before he opened his eyes again to look into Elion's. “I don't want to be alone. It's my one great fear."

Elion still stared as if in disbelief. Angry disbelief. Then he muttered under his breath, “You always were a maudlin drunk."

"I mean it,” he protested. “Everyone's bailing on me."

Elion reached over to his pack of cigs on the low side table and lit one. One arm crossed over his bare chest, he blew smoke into the air. “Keeva never loved you, Sayal hardly knows you, and I'm still here."

A moment passed. “Does that mean you're not leaving?"

"Saints, Kels. I don't know.” He flicked ash onto the floor. “Things have been tense around here lately.” He licked his lips and tapped the butt of his cig against them. “I won't say I haven't thought about...doing other things."

"Like what?” He couldn't keep the note of panic out of his voice.

"Dunno. Rejoining the armada maybe."

"Are you fried? You're too old. You'll be killed!"

"They always need good pilots, and thank you for reminding me of my age. You're very rude."

"What about the
Nova
? What about me?” He knew he sounded like a frightened child, but he couldn't help it. Elion was right; he was a maudlin drunk.

"I don't know. Your present state aside, you're a competent, intelligent man. You'll think of something."

"It's because I haven't fucked you. That's it, isn't it?"

Elion barked a laugh around his cig. “Not hardly.” His beautiful pale blue eyes bored into Kels's. “Might surprise you to know, Captain, that the entire SenVerse does not revolve around your big cock."

"Are you sure?” Perhaps he could humor Elion back into a better mood. His heart hurt, he felt so depressed at the thought of losing his mate. “I thought I saw it on the SenVerse news the other day.” He reached for Elion to stroke his hand over his thigh, but Elion slapped him away.

He held up a warning finger. “Now, see, that's just the sort of monkeyshines I was talking about.” When Kels didn't try to touch him again, he settled back uneasily against the pillow. “I've been doing some thinking myself. What you said the other day about my not being able to make a decision. It was truth. I've been letting other people make my decisions for too long."

Kels thought he might actually cry. “Me, you mean."

"You, and before you, the military. I don't think there's been a time in my life when I aimed my own direction."

"But you're such a good first mate. You positively excel at it."

"And where's it gotten me?” He'd crossed his legs and was jigging his feet, making the whole bed shake.

"Is it that bad?"

Elion clenched his jaw. “Lately. Yeah."

Saints below, all his fears were justified. He looked at his friend, at the blond hair he could pick out of any crowd, at the lightly haired chest with the two-tone scarred skin, and the flat belly and the restless, jigging feet and said, “But, Elion, I love you."

"You always love me when you're drunk,” he snarled and was just about to drag on his cig when Kels plucked it from his fingers and slanted his mouth over his. He shoved his tongue between Elion's protesting lips and felt his mate's hands pushing at his shoulders. He deftly slid his fingers beneath the elastic of Elion's pants and grasped his cock.

"Kels,” Elion gritted out when he let him come up for air, “this isn't going to work."

"I say it is.” His cock was already hardening as Kels twisted his fist around it from base to head. And when he lowered his mouth again to kiss El, the pushing at his shoulders turned to stroking over his shoulders, and Elion's protests softened to guttural groans.

Kels was too drunk to fuck, but he could jerk off even if he was half-dead, and he knew just how Elion would want to be touched. He didn't give his mate time to think or react, slicking his palm in the precum, pulling him off with fast, firm strokes while his tongue plied his mouth.

Within minutes, Elion's moans became gasps, and he cried out into Kels's mouth. His body jerked, and his hot jism flowed over Kels's fist. Had to be a month's worth, Kels reflected. He gave El's dick a few last parting squeezes and wrings while his friend gulped air, his eyes glazed over.

"Well, fuck me...” Elion blew out at last.

Kels gazed at him contemplatively. “You know, I thought I was too drunk, but now that you mention...” And he moved Elion's hand to his rising erection.

Elion automatically closed his fingers over Kels's dick. Hot waves of pleasure still rolled through his body. His muscles felt like melting butter. Almost afraid to hope, he gave his friend's cock a rub and saw Kels's eyes roll up and heard a moan rumble through his chest. By the saints, it was really, finally going to happen. Would they regret this in the morning? Did he care if they did? For fuck's sake, he had Kels where he'd always wanted him; why was he even giving it a thought?

Keeping one hand on Kels's cock, he leaned over and grabbed the hool and took a huge gulp. Fire burned in his belly and spread outward to his fingers and toes. Kels had his fingers back in the waist of his night pants and was working them down over his hips. “Do you have any lube?"

Elion thought his heart would pump out of his chest. “Yes. In the drawer."

Kels lunked over him, his heavy body covering Elion's torso, and waved his hand over the sensor that opened the door. “Dear, oh, dear. What's this? Dirty boy.” He held up a vibrating dildo Elion had come to favor. He felt his cheeks heat.

"Never mind that. Just get the lube. You're crushing me. My ribs, remember?"

"Oh fuck. I'm sorry.” He shoved off him again and landed heavily on the other side of the bed. He opened the lube and squeezed a bit out onto his finger.

"I think this would work better if you were undressed too,” Elion said shortly.

"I'm getting to it.” Kels pulled a face. “Bossy in bed as well.” He wiped the lube on the same corner of the sheet where he'd smeared Elion's cum.

"You can wash the sheets tomorrow,” Elion grumbled.

"Whatever you like, luv.” Kels toed off his boots and lifted his hips to shimmy out of his pants. Elion helped him pull off his shirt and couldn't resist running his hands over the firm chest he'd admired for so long. They kissed again, Kels's lips demanding and hard, even better than he remembered.

Kels shoved him over onto his back and sucked his nipples. Saints, it was paradise. He couldn't recall a man ever doing that before, at least not with such intensity and skill. What he'd been missing out on... He dug his fingers through Kels's hair, marveling at the soft texture between his fingers and the way the light glowed on it. He ran his hand over the captain's shoulders and felt the muscles flexing as Kels went lower and took his cock in his mouth.