Hawke (30 page)

He moved back and collapsed in his chair, taking in deep breaths as his eyes glistened.

“I hate it,” he repeated. “I fucking hate it. I want that money out of your account so we don’t have to deal with all this…bullshit. Go clean and start over. That’s what I want. What I’ve always wanted. But that takes time.”

Hawke looked absolutely shattered, like he’d reached the end of his rope. Just as much as I’d hated him seeing what he had to do, he had hated it too.

I moved to him, drawn by his pain, wanting nothing more than to remove it. My hands immediately flew to his face, and he shut his eyes as I stroked his cheeks. The beard was starting to grow thicker again, and I combed through it with my fingers as I sat on his lap and pressed my forehead against his.

He breathed out longer than before, his eyes tightening as he shut them, his face breaking. His arms wrapped around me and he kept me coiled there, breathing in the same air as me.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry about everything, about the lie –”

“You lied to protect me,” I interrupted, pressing my lips against his. “I understand.”

“You hate me.”

“I was trying to find a reason to hate you, but I could never truly hate you, Hawke.”

He kissed me back slowly, and god, it felt nice to be reunited with his lips. His hands ran down my back and around my ass. He gripped it tightly as he slipped his tongue into my mouth and stroked mine gently.

“I know what you’re doing,” he muttered as he began to harden beneath me.

“What am I doing?” I breathed out, baring my throat to him.

“You’re trying to distract me.”

I nodded, not even bothering to hide it. “Yeah, Hawke, I am. Do you want me to stop?”

His hand ran back up my body and he gripped my breast, squeezing it in the palm of his hand. “Fuck no, Tyler.”

We kissed for a while, and he tenderly felt every inch of me, telling me how much he missed it.

Afterwards, he slid me off and, looking heaps clearer and in control, he left the room and ordered the boys to let Shay go. Then he got Marshall to gather her things, put together some money in her wallet, and ordered her to leave town.

He understood her obsession with Hector had fucked with her head, and he also knew she didn’t need to lose her head over it too.

Hector felt like shit, blaming himself for how far he’d pushed her.

That, in itself, was a miracle.

Tyler

Later that night, Hawke took me for a ride.

The weather was cooler than usual, and the wind had picked up. I could smell the rain coming, a welcoming respite after such a hot, shitty day.

I should have been wary when he turned to the same creak he’d broken the news to me. After all, it was a place that would only remind me of the horrible truth.

Of what my father was.

But I was honestly too excited to spend quality time with Hawke to let the bad thoughts in. I jumped off his bike and hurried toward the creak, him following closely behind. This time I sat by the water, kicking off my shoes and socks to dip my feet in while staring up at the sky.

A lightning bolt flashed, and I counted the seconds before the thunder followed.

Three, four, five…

CRACK!

There it was.

I felt Hawke behind me dropping to the ground, his legs on either side of me. I leaned back, closing my eyes as I relaxed into his embrace, the smell of leather and his cologne surrounding me.

“We should do this often,” I told him. “That way I don’t see you acting like an ogre all the time.”

He ran his hands down my arms. “Like I said, it’s –”

“Necessary, I know.”

“It won’t be for much longer.”

I nodded in understanding.

“Until then, Ty, stop putting me on a pedestal.”

“Is that what you think I’m doing?”

“I haven’t done great things.”

“You keep forgetting how great you make
me
feel.”

“When I’m not lyin’.”

I laughed lightly and nodded. “Yeah, when you’re not lying.”

Another lightning bolt, and this time I counted out loud before the thunder cracked overhead. It was so beautiful being in this spot, secluded, with a man I cared about – loved – holding me.

The whole world disappeared. All the problems, the club’s bullshit, the violence, the despair…all of it faded into white noise, and it was just Hawke and me.

“Can I ask you something?” I wondered sometime later.

“The fact you have to ask me if you can ask me is troubling as it is, Tyler.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, I mean, it’s personal.”

“What do you wanna know?”

I turned my head to look at him, his dark eyes meeting mine as I said, “Who was that beautiful woman that walked out of your bedroom all those years ago?”

His brows came together. “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“The blonde with those really nice platform heels.”

He let out a long breath, surprised. “Fuckin’ hell, Tyler, that has to be the most random fuckin’ question I could have expected from you.”

“Oops.”

“How do you even know about that?”

“I saw her.”

“And how old were you, you little fuckin’ creep?”

I let out a laugh and nudged my elbow into his stomach. “Not that young.”

“How old?” he demanded.

“God, I don’t know, eleven?”

He groaned, muttering a curse under his breath. “What is this? Honestly, when we have our own, the last place that kid will be is that fuckin’ clubhouse.”

I ignored the way my chest blazed at him talking about our nonexistent kids. “I grew up fine, remember?”

“You’re insane.”

I gasped, feigning shock. “How am I insane?”

“Because you’re asking me about a girl I took to bed ten years ago. And I thought Shay was unhinged.”

I elbowed him again, this time hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs. He laughed nonetheless, forcing my elbow away from his stomach. His amusement over my question made irritated, and I tried to elbow him again with my other arm. He gripped that elbow too and then pulled me flush against his chest, caging me with his arms around my front.

“That girl was meaningless,” he then whispered in my ear. “I’m flattered you’re jealous a decade after the fact, though.”

“I’m not jealous,” I argued.

“Liar.”

“I’m curious. You weren’t with a lot of girls after you took the gavel, and I wondered why.”

His arms loosened around me, allowing me to turn my body around so my arms wrapped around his neck. Hawke looked down at me, his smile relaxed as I waited for his response.

“Because I was tired of bedding fakes,” he finally said after a minute of silence. “It’s all the same after a while, Ty. I liked a bit of a connection.”

“Did you feel connected to her?”

He shook his head, running his teeth over his bottom lip. “Christ, Ty, what if I prodded you about your jock from high school?”

“You already did.”

“I didn’t stop to ask the specifics.”

“Well, if you’re curious about whether I gave him a blowjob, then I –”

His hand shot to my mouth, silencing me before giving me a very dark look. “I don’t want to fuckin’ know a thing about what you did to that boy, or what he did to you, Tyler. You understand? My blood’s boilin’ just thinking about it, and I don’t want to have to hear something that’ll make me responsible for putting him in his grave. Got it?”

I nodded, and when he dropped his hand he looked irritated to find me grinning like a fool. “Now who’s jealous?” I said.

He was pissed now. “Fuck yeah, I’m jealous. Because I want your body for myself. I hate that you’ve been touched by some other dick. Part of me wishes I could turn back time and be the first inside you just so I can say all you had to experience was me, but that ain’t going to happen anytime soon. Now strip so I can fuck you and forget what you just told me.”

I giggled, trying to fight his hands but they were already grabbing at my shirt and throwing it off. He pushed us back and then turned me so that my back was flat against the earth and he was over me, undressing me as I stared up at the sky, catching another lightning bolt fork into the blackness overhead.

When the thunder rumbled seconds later, my body thundered along with it as Hawke’s mouth worked my clit with his tongue.

*

We ended up naked in the grass, spent and pleasured, welcoming the cool drops of rain falling all around us.

I never knew peace like this.

Never felt so full of happiness in my life.

And then he had to break the moment by saying, “Ty, now that I fucked you, I need to tell you something.”

My smile faded as I looked up at his face, guarded and afraid. “Is it bad?” I asked, hesitantly.

He searched my eyes and quietly replied, “It’s going to hurt. Again.”

Fuck.

He’d taken me out here with a motive yet again.

This time I braced myself, determined not to crumble and determined – beyond anything – not to hate him again.

Hawke

When it was time to deal business with Abram, Hawke decided to round up Hector and Gus and ride out to him instead.

“I don’t trust him after Yuri,” he’d explained to Gus. “At least this time there won’t be any surprises.”

Gus agreed, and they rode out, armed in case anything happened.

Abram’s estate was like before: filled with soulless girls and guards. Abram himself was outside in the courtyard behind his gargantuan house, sitting on a chair that overlooked his pool, staring at a lone girl swimming on her own. He appeared particularly invested in her as the guards approached, the bikers following a few feet behind.

Abram barely glanced in their direction as he said, “Your money will be out front in a few minutes. Have you considered my terms about you needing to stop supplying to my rivals?”

Hawke nodded, tearing his eyes away from the elegant swimmer feet from them. “I have, and I agree, so long as we get something else in return.”

Abram turned his head to them, unreadable behind his shades and said, “And what would that be?”

Hawke took a moment to respond, glancing at a confused Gus and an angry Hector before replying, “You’re the banker.”

Abram’s lips flinched upwards. “You got Borden to figure that out.”

It wasn’t a question. He knew.

Hawke nodded. “I did.”

“And you’re trying to get ahold of that girl’s account. I’m afraid I’d need her here, and the last time I checked my calendar, we’re still days from her birthday.”

Hawke chuckled dryly. “I’m not here for the money today. How much is in there anyway? Seven million?”

“Eight.”

“Right, well, I’ll come back with Tyler another day. I’m here because of Yuri and the attacks on my clubhouse.”

“
Your
clubhouse,” Abram replied, smirking as he removed the shades. “Nice to see you wearing that patch, Hawke. But again, if you’re here to accuse me of attacking that shithole, I’d rather just put a bullet in your head because I didn’t fucking do it.”

“I know you didn’t,” Hawke said calmly. “You said last time you wanted an eye for an eye, and I’m here to give you it.”

“An eye for an eye?”

“We killed Yuri, you kill Gus.”

Before Gus could react, Hector wrapped his arm around his neck and kept him in place.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” he wheezed out in disbelief, his face turning purple. “What the fuck is this, Hawke?”

Hawke didn’t look at him. He kept his gaze level with Abram and said, “Your cousin was aware of the accounts, wasn’t he?”

Abram looked between Hawke and Gus before nodding once. “He was aware of the banking I controlled, the many accounts I overlook for many dangerous people.”

“And Dennis locked away the club’s money.”

“We don’t ask where the money is from.”

“But you knew.”

Abram shrugged. “I had my suspicions, but I overlook too many accounts to really give a fuck. Plus, there was nothing I could do. I’m loyal to my word, to every contract I make with every person and every mob that’s dumped their cash in my bank.”

“Where is this bank?”

“Well, it’s not really a fucking bank, Hawke. It’s a place I horde their cash in. Several places, in fact.”

“Did Yuri know about the locations?”

“No, but I knew he was aware of the girl, that perhaps he got into contact with someone in your club about it too.”

Hawke nodded in understanding before pointing at Gus. “And that would be this fuck.”

“I didn’t tell Yuri to grab Tyler that night!” Gus screamed, his voice pleading. “He did it on his own, Hawke! He went behind my back. I never knew he was going to do it. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. He was fucking high off his shit! I told him we’d go halves once the money was returned to the club. We were never planning on taking her! Never! I would never have hurt Tyler!”

“Like you would never hurt Dennis before you fucking shot him in the back for being on to someone in the club stealing money?”

Gus went quiet, still trying to breathe through Hector’s tight grip around his neck.

“You stole half a million dollars,” Hawke explained, his voice cold. “Borden found your offshore account, acting as a major shareholder in some non-existent fucking business in Panama. It was the same half a million dollars that disappeared in cash right before Dennis took the rest of it and locked it up to protect the club from whatever thief was inside it. But you didn’t know that the money was already out of his hands until you gunned him down, isn’t that right?”

Gus didn’t respond. His eyes went glossy with emotion, as he continued shaking his head.

“You were waiting for Tyler’s birthday,” Hawke carried on, taking a step toward him, wishing he had a gun so he could blow the old man away. “That’s why you were adamant you needed to keep her with the club, telling me how many fucking times how important her safety was. I was a fucking idiot not seein’ what was in front of me. A fucking snake that tried to pit us against Abram with your hired fucking muscle attacking our place so we could go to war and put him to ground and take every account from under him!”

“And then you turned your sights on my brother,” Hector hissed in his ear, tightening his grip even further as his anger roared. “Sold him out, didn’t you? Tried to get rid of him so he wasn’t around to figure out the fucking truth.”

Gus struggled in his grip, barely able to stand as oxygen depleted from his lungs.

Hawke narrowed his eyes, feeling pained by the betrayal as he stated sadly, “Once you figure out one thing, everything else starts to come together. You betrayed us, Gus, and Dennis tried so hard to tell me there was someone on the inside. He didn’t even know it was you in the end, did he?”

Take care of Tyler.

Don’t trust.

Don’t trust.

Gus’s eyes dimmed, tears falling his eyes as the truth came out, one by one collapsing years of trust. Years of love. Years of brotherhood. Over money.

Abram stood up, his focus now on Gus. He was furious, his own pain evident in his face as he icily said, “Let him go. I’ll take your eye for an eye and kill this fucker. He took Yuri from me, and his family’s still hungry for revenge.” Then he stepped closer, looking Gus over before adding, “I’m going to remove your eyeballs first, like my cousin. Then I’m going to cut you up, but I won’t give you a quick death like him. I’m going to make you bleed out slowly.”

With that, Hector released him and he fell to the ground in a heap, gasping in air as he screamed for Hawke to stop and listen, to not do this, to not leave him.

But Hawke and Hector were already walking away.

“Please, Hawke! Just listen to me! Just listen!”

The old man didn’t realize there was nothing left to listen to.

Their money was loaded into the back of a van that followed them all the way back to the clubhouse.

Back to Tyler, still shaken from the news that her father was innocent all along.