Haze (17 page)

"I'm sure it's just indecision. Let it go, Sam."

He retorted with lightning speed. "Not
Jack
! He didn't get where he is because he couldn't make decisions. Goddammit, Effie, haven't you learned anything at this job?"

"Sam, that's cruel. And I'm sorry about your wife."

"It's the
truth
," he insisted. His face looked more weathered and tired than ever. "I'm better off without her," his words sounded as if he were reading them from a script. This was hugely sensitive turf for him, turf that was making him behave unpredictably.

I decided that I needed to bring this down a few notches before it turned into something even more serious than it already was. "Sam, you need to relax. Why the hell are you yelling at
me
about this?"

His volume suddenly dropped to almost a whisper and his eyes squinted. "I think you're hiding something from me. I really do. Something doesn't add up here."

"What the hell are you talking about? That's ridiculous," I said. "What the hell would I be hiding? Drop the conspiracy theory bullshit." In that moment, I almost felt like admitting it to him, breaking down my walls and entering the realm of
full disclosure
. I didn't, however. I wanted to talk to Jack about this first.

"I don't know what's going on here around my back,
Jacobs
, but I'll figure it out sooner or later." He turned around and angrily stomped back to his office. If we had been in the desert, there would have been a trail of dust following behind his shadow.

"Are we like a high school sports team now,
Beckermann
?" I shouted back, invoking his last name like he'd used mine. He didn't say anything back, most likely because he didn't hear me. That was probably a good thing. I didn't need to deal with this all day.

"He's been mad all morning," one of the interns said to me as she passed by. "And paranoid. Don't sweat it. Or take it personally."

I shook my head and frowned. Even though Sam was right, he didn't have any proof. And even then, what difference did it make? I wasn't that familiar with the legalese surrounding my position, but I figured it was fine just as long as I didn't influence the decision. If he had been throwing a fit all morning, that probably meant he was just lumping me in with everything else that was peeving him.

My vision suddenly caught the wilted roses that were
still
sitting on my desk from the previous week. They felt like a scarlet letter, especially given Sam's impromptu inquisition, and I felt incredibly stupid that I hadn’t dealt with them sooner. I wasn't sure how I had managed to ignore them the whole day until now.

On my way out of the office, I angrily tossed them in the hallway trashcan. There was something cathartic about leaving them where Sam would see them for sure, and it was something I really needed in that moment. Hopefully he'd feel bad about yelling at me and pushing me to throw away the
"anonymous" gift.

I decided that I wouldn't say anything to Jack about throwing his gift in the trash.

After work, I stopped at my preferred—which also happened to be the closest—indie coffee shop and grabbed an Americano. My coffee habit seemed to rise and fall in tandem with my stress levels and that meant I was probably spending more money than I should have been. In moments like these, however, I felt like an addict that could never say no.

Jack hadn't made any definitive plans with me yet, so I called him a few blocks before getting to my apartment.

"Hey, Effie," he said, his voice rushed and fleeting.

"Jack, where are you? Are we eating somewhere tonight?"

"I'm so sorry. I'm stuck in the studio tonight and I'm not going to be able to sneak away since I'm on someone else's dime."

"Oh." I felt a little down. "Can I stop by or something?"

There was a bunch of commotion in the background, commotion that included a woman's voice. I assumed it was Lexy and fought not to feel irrationally jealous.
Stupid Sam, making me worry unnecessarily...

"Effie, I'm so sorry. I should have told you about this, but it came up at the last second. I just can't have any interruptions tonight. It's not going as planned, and I need to pick up the pieces."

I felt let down, yet why should I? Jack was a busy guy, and it wasn't like he was always going to be around one hundred percent of the time. It made me feel a little greedy, actually, to think that he should be with me instead of his music.

And then, like the way it happens whenever you tell yourself not to think some specific thought, I was back to thinking about what Sam had said.
He's just crazy
.
Ignore him.
If Sam actually was crazy, that wasn't good either, but it was a better thought than unfairly assuming Jack was sleeping with every woman he spoke to.

I wasn't sure how long it had been since I said something, my mind off in space. "Effie? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, Jack. I'm fine." I was pacing in front of my apartment building, delaying going inside while I talked.

"I'll catch up with you later, okay? I'll try to call you later tonight."

"Bye," I said quietly. The commotion on Jack's end rose in volume and then the call clicked off.

I sighed loudly and headed into the apartment, quickly realizing that it would be a long night.

Chapter 9

When I got up to the apartment, Laura was in the kitchen cooking with Jesse, a total surprise given the fact it was Monday night. Her long, brown hair was messy, making me a little suspicious about what they had been doing prior to my getting home. They were also wearing pajamas.

Good timing, I suppose.

"Hi, Effie!" Jesse called out. "We're making spaghetti—would you like some? Or are you sneaking out for the evening?" They were both drinking wine while the water boiled on the stove.

"I'm staying in tonight. And yes, that sounds great—if I'm not interrupting something."

Jesse laughed as his eyes scanned the instructions on the package of the frozen garlic bread. "Fifteen minutes," he said to himself. "And you're totally welcome here."

Laura turned and smiled at me. "Hi, Effie," she said. "Nice to see you again." She was really pretty and nice, and honestly, I wished that we could hang out together more often. Our encounters were usually short-lived or just in passing.

"Yeah, we always seem to miss each other. Not tonight though!" I left my shoes by the door and headed toward my room, sneaking past their position in the kitchen.

"Do you want some wine?" Laura asked. "You seem down."

I stopped in my tracks. "You know, I'd really like that. And no, it's nothing. I just thought Jack and I were
gonna hang out tonight, but he's wrapped up in work."

"That sucks," Laura said. She was facing the pot on the stove, frantically stirring the pasta as steam rushed into the kitchen. "Jesse and I have that problem sometimes, too."

"At least he's working and not out
cheating on you
," Jesse said, a wry grin breaking out on his face.

"That makes me feel real good, Jesse. Thanks!" I shook my head and laughed. "Can I have either wine?" There was an open bottle of both red and white and they were both preoccupied with cooking.

Laura smiled back at me. "Take what you want. My dad gave them to me. It's funny that the stuff he gives away is nicer than any wine I've ever bought in my life."

Her smile was seriously infectious. I needed that right now. I poured a glass of white wine and continued toward my room. "I want to get out of these clothes. I'll be right back."

They both nodded and kept to their kitchen duties. Jesse put the garlic bread into the oven as I was leaving.

Stealing the idea from them, I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a
hoodie, the most comfortable combination of things I had in the room. When I started thinking about everything that happened today—Sam's volatility and Jack's sudden absence—it made my head spin. I wanted to get back out to them as soon as possible. I knew I was being overdramatic, but I couldn't seem to help it.

After leaving my room, I realized I had forgotten my cell phone in there. "Whatever," I said to myself. I wanted a break from all of this emotional stuff. By the time I got back to the kitchen—I briefly stopped to freshen up in the bathroom—the food was ready.

"I hope that pasta is
al dente
," Jesse said.

"Oh, shut up. You know I don't screw that up. Unlike a certain person I know." Laura playfully messed up his hair and then they both started laughing. It was like I had walked into a real life romantic comedy.

God, I wanted to be goofing around with Jack like that right now. I was so jealous, even though I had seen Jack for the last three days straight and these two only got together about once a week, if that. Why was I being so ridiculous about this?

Well, it was the Sam thing. I knew it was. More importantly, I needed to eat.

***

"What are you studying again, Laura?" I couldn't remember even though Jesse mentioned it every time she came up in conversation. Stress was making me forgetful.

"I'm in med school. I would actually like to be a brain surgeon." She was twirling the pasta onto her fork, the movie cliché brought to life. I had always been jealous of people who could do that. Thankfully, Jesse was less adroit with pasta, so I didn't feel so out of place.

"You guys are
gonna be rich," I said proudly. "Banker and a brain surgeon."

"Yeah, after we get all the student loan debt paid off." Jesse shrugged and grabbed another piece of garlic bread. He'd already eaten most of it himself. "How's your job been, Effie?"

"I like it, I guess," I said sheepishly. Part of me wanted to admit everything that had happened today, but I didn't want to be a downer. They both looked up from their plates—I guess I hadn't been subtle enough. Apparently, I was wearing a billboard on my back that said
Hey, I'm having a bad day so please ask me about it
.

"Did something happen today?" Jesse asked.

I groaned. "I don't want to bore you guys. We're having such a nice dinner."

"Tell us!" Laura seemed genuinely interested in my troubles, something I hadn't expected in the least.

"It's Sam again," I said. "He's mad at me about the Jack Teller thing, even though he doesn't know anything about what's going on. He just suspects something is up." I took a bite of pasta, hoping that it would give
them
a chance to talk, but they didn't. They were both waiting for me. "He got really mean with me today, and it made me feel like shit."

"Wait, what's this about Jack Teller?" Laura was literally on the edge of her seat after scooting toward me.

"We're kind of
dating
, I guess."

"Jesse, why didn't you tell me? Jack Teller is awesome—and super hot."

I blushed as I awkwardly waited for Jesse to say something and fill the void of silence. "I thought I told you before!"

"No way." Laura sipped her wine, taking a break from eating. "I would have definitely remembered that." I wasn't entirely sure what I was witnessing.

"I can't believe you're still seeing him," Jesse said. "I didn't think it would last."

I was somewhat shocked that he was saying that—well, until I remembered that I hadn't even told him about the gifts thing. I guess I hadn't been around much, and he had warned me to be careful initially. "Why is that?" I asked defensively.

"You
know
why. He's a rich bachelor."

"Wait, wait. If this is true, it's crazy!" Laura seemed awestruck by everything. "I loved his songs. They helped me get through undergrad. A friend found one ages ago on Napster, and we were hooked after that."

"Dammit," I said. "I need to fill you in on this." I also kind of wished that
I
knew about Jack's songs. There was so much time available for that in the future, however...

I told them both about the first night—omitting certain salacious details of course—and then how Jack had pursued me with an endless stream of gifts until I gave him another chance. Laura seemed to really enjoy that part, staring at Jesse like she hoped he’d get the hint. And then I got to the Broadway show and the Timothy incident, which I downplayed as much as possible.

They both seemed blown away by the absurd week that I'd just put behind me. Hell, it wasn't even a full week, and still, it was awesome.

"You think he's going to be loyal to you? I told you that I've seen what those guys are capable of." Jesse's words stung a little, but I maintained my composure.

"You know, we've talked about it. And I'm not worried," I said bravely. "I don't want to focus on that part since I'm calling it a non-issue right now." Laura smiled as I said it.

Jesse nodded and then continued to the next line of business. "So Sam thinks you're fucking up his
chances at a deal?" Jesse was now donning his business hat, the hat that seemed more appropriate for signing contracts than giving advice.