Haze (24 page)

I raised an eyebrow. "Well, of course it sounds bad when you describe it like
that
."

"I'm just trying to be honest!" he pleaded, grinning now from ear-to-ear.

"Okay." I smiled and nodded. "That makes it a lot clearer." I smiled at him and kissed his cheek, his skin so freshly shaven and smooth. "It's hard to believe that you were ever wild like that."

"I did it all. I'm lucky I didn't kill myself by accident." He shook his head. "That was just a dark time. Everybody has '
em. That was how I dealt with mine."

He was totally right. It made me think of my dad's stories during dinner, stories about people in our small town that bent the rules in a very serious way. Even in the middle of nowhere, people did—and usually got away with—crazy things when they tried to distract themselves from their troubles. In a city like Los Angeles, the distractions were most likely a lot larger.

I remembered my dad's story about the now-high-school principal, driving around the back roads with his cronies doing cocaine in the woods. I just couldn't look at the guy the same after that, even if he had changed his ways. Thankfully, he became principal after I graduated.

The behavior might be to cope with something or explore new possibilities. Or maybe something else entirely. Sitting here with Jack, drinking cocktails on private jet, I just couldn't imagine reaching such a bleak point. I knew that didn't mean anything, but it was enough for now.

"What about you, Effie? Done anything crazy? Something you're keeping from me?"

I paused, sifting through the archives of memories in my head.
What should I offer him?

"I kissed some girls when I was drunk. I'm not sure if I liked it or not." Basic, but true.

"Ooh,
hot
," he said.

"You pig. Every guy says stuff like that." I feigned disgust.

"Well, yeah, because it's hot. You're attractive, and the
hot
thought of you kissing some other
hot
girls happens to be
hot."

"Jack!" I was laughing even though I wanted to appear irritated. "How do you know the other girls were hot?"

"Just a guess. Seems like you'd have high standards for something like that." His gin and tonic was almost gone even though I'd barely seen him put the glass up to his lips.

I immediately thought of my roommates,
Carly and Angela—the ones I had kissed—and realized Jack was right. "Whatever. It wasn't a serious thing. Why are we talking about this?"

"Because I know you were thinking about me and the other guy. That's the only reason why you asked. I'm just trying to figure out what makes you tick, Effie."

Heat flushed my cheeks.
Dammit!
How did he know? "No way!" I said, adamantly pleading my case. I wasn't sure why him
knowing
about me thinking that was such an issue for me, but it was.

"I've never seen you redder before. Just admit it." Jack had found a slick way out. The smile that accompanied his words was wicked and distracting.

Regardless of what he said, I
did
feel tense about the idea for no good reason. "Dammit." I crossed my arms over my shoulders, a straightjacket hug, and held them there, trying to relax myself.

"You don't need to feel ashamed about it, Effie. You can trust me, tell me anything. I want to hear your desires." He leaned forward and nuzzled my neck. "I want you to open up to me."

The redness in my cheeks immediately changed into a very different sort of heat. "Like... fantasies?" I asked shyly.

"Exactly," he said. "You know, sometimes people just aren't satisfied and they never speak up. I don't want that to happen to us."

I gulped, suddenly worried that Jack was into something really crazy. "You're not, like, into whipping and stuff, are you?" My voice came out so meekly, so weak.

He laughed and set his empty glass down. "No, no. Nothing too crazy. I like to be a little aggressive now and then, but nothing serious. I'm talking about things you'd like to do but probably never will. Is there anything?"

I started thinking about having my wrists tied while Jack had his way with me. It was a thought that I really liked, but it was unusual, for sure.

"Effie?"

"What?" His words startled me.

"What really turns you on? Don't be ashamed about anything." His hands framed my face as he gazed deep into my eyes.

His question felt like an injection in my arm, slowly melting me from the inside. This gorgeous guy was sitting here, drilling me about sex—in the hottest way possible. Those green eyes were so hypnotizing, a sea worth swimming in—or drowning in.

"I don't know," I said. "I don't really have fantasies like that."

"What about when you're alone? What do you think about?"

I tensed up again. "Sex. I mean, I...
I guess I never really..." Damn, I just didn't know what to say. I couldn't seem to elaborate at all—and I wasn't sure what was holding me back. I wasn't a prude, but then again, this wasn't easy, either.

"Effie, don't be ashamed. I masturbate like everyone else. It's a normal thing. I just want to be open with you. If it makes you too uncomfortable, you don't have to say anything."

A nervous laugh escaped me as I shuffled things around in my brain like a deck of cards.
Who was I kidding?
"Fine," I grunted. "I do it, but not a lot. And it's
actually hot
when someone like you does it."

Jack leaned in close and kissed me, a kiss that warmed me all the way down to my toes. The gesture immediately made me think of the
mile high club
and what we could get away with on this plane. "And it's not hot when you do it? What makes you so sure of that?" His intensity was firm, unrelenting.

"I don't know," I said. He was forcing me to consider things I had never considered before. I was exploring a part of me that was wholly unfamiliar.

"Have you ever done that for someone? Touched yourself? Made yourself come while they watched you?" His breath was so warm against my earlobe. The tickling sensation made me shiver. On top of everything else, the prominent and growing hardness I felt against my thigh nearly stole my breath entirely.

"No, I haven't." Jack was making it clear what he wanted, and although it was new territory for me, something about it was dangerously hot.

"Do you know actually what it looks like when a girl does that?"

I conjured up disjointed yet provoking images of internet porn in my head. They were mindless, hyperbolic images of sex. "It's kind of gross."

"Are you thinking about porn, Effie? Because that stuff's nothing like the real thing. Porn
is
kind of gross."

"I don't get why it's so hot, though." I was saying one thing and thinking another. Jack was physically touching me, but he wasn't
touching me like that
—and it was really making me want to touch myself. Had he hypnotized me somehow? Given the circumstances and the direction of the conversation, it almost seemed reasonable.

"They did a survey," Jack said proudly. "Of what people look at when they're watching porn. What do you think most guys looked at?"

His question instantly lightened my mood, my tension rapidly evaporating. "Well, boobs, obviously. Probably asses too." I felt pretty confident about my guess.

"Wrong!" Jack shouted. "The majority of the men watched the woman's eyes and face."

"You're such a liar!" I shoved him playfully—after verifying that he wasn't holding his drink.

"I'm not kidding!" he said. "It was a real study. Guess what the women looked at?"

"Are you just trying to humiliate us girls?" I asked. "Did they look at legs? Pecs? Biceps? Faces?"

Jack gave me a wry smile. "They looked at penises. No joke."

"Was this a real study?" I asked, my voice full of bemusement. "Did you make this up?"

Jack started laughing. "I couldn't be more serious. It just proves my point. It
is
hot when a real girl—not some plastic porn star who’s pretending—touches herself."

I still wasn't sure how this all fit together other than vaguely. "I'm still not totally with you."

"Watching a girl pleasure herself is best when you watch her
face
. You see that expression, that feeling that's all hers, all inside her head. A woman says so much with her face. The other stuff is nice too, but the face is the best part."

I was starting to understand his point. God, imagining Jack's hand pumping up and down on his cock made me want to melt though. Those lean muscles he would use as he did it, and yeah, that look on his face as he went faster and faster. It almost made me sweat.

"Will you do it for me, Effie?" The words flowed effortlessly from his lips, no hang-ups or indecision present at all.

"Do
what?
" I thought I knew what he meant, but I still played dumb.

"I want you to make yourself come for me. I want to watch." His breathing deepened quickly, as if speaking the words had been enough to light him on fire.

"Right now?" I looked around as if I was searching for intruders. "Up here? What about the pilot?"

"He's not coming back. I'll get naked too." All it took was him unbuttoning his shirt to sway me to his side. Jesus, his chiseled chest and muscles made my insides turn to hot liquid. Being without him for a few days had really done a number on me in terms of self-control.

His pants crumpled on the floor, his boxers did literally nothing to conceal his full arousal. It was so hard and firm, and yet I was still fully dressed. Yeah, all he could see was the look on my face...

I unzipped the back of my dress and stood up, pulling it off at once. Instantly, I was left with nothing but my matching blue bra and panties. Jack's eyes hungrily traced along the soft curves of my body, memorizing what he saw.

Before we went any further, he met me with a deep kiss, one that jumbled my insides up even worse. My tongue fought his as he wrapped his arms around my back, fitting my body to his, encouraging me back onto the couch. He explored every interior surface of my mouth—and I explored his.

Again in a sitting position, he began to unclasp my bra, but stopped at first, running his tongue along my cleavage, tasting and tickling. He finishing unclasping and then took my breasts in his hands, one by one, molding them perfectly into his grip. Jack tweaked each nipple, pinching slightly, but stopping right before it became painful. I continued kissing him, filled with desperate need.

My surprising arousal was snowballing out of control and I desperately needed something to happen. Jack slid his fingers under the elastic waistband and then dragged my panties slowly down my legs, taking his sweet time and driving me mad. Honestly, I was so worked up and I just had no idea where this was leading.

Was he about to fuck me?
What about the whole
pleasuring myself for him
?

Christ
, if he kept working me up like this, I was going to have a hard time saying no to anything.

"Spread your legs, Effie. I want to see that beautiful pussy of yours."

"I thought you said f-f-faces," I whispered, fighting back a smile.

"All of you is beautiful—and I want to see everything."
Fine, Jack, you win.

I moved apprehensively, but it was still movement. His fingers crawled along the soft flesh of my inner thighs and approached my mound, so painfully close to my swollen clit.

They reached it right away, and my body reacted, tightening around his fingers. My mind was swimming in vivid images of sex, my eyes locked with Jack's.

His movement was gentle, however, almost indirect. He was just teasing me, warming me up so that I'd have to do it for him whenever he decided to stop—and I knew I'd never be able to say no after he got me started. No, you couldn't just stop an avalanche once it began.

The movements of my heaving chest grew more and more exaggerated as my breath fled as quickly as it arrived. His fingers gently plunged into my wetness, parting my lips and setting me on fire. He was going so easy, playing a game that was driving me wild. I couldn't believe I was doing this, whatever it was.

The weird thing was that Jack could make me come damn near instantly, and here he was, carrying out some sort of sadistic slow burn in the middle of the sky. I was feeling both strung-out and incredible, my mind as far away from my troubles as possible.

"Touch yourself for me now, Effie. Make yourself come." His voice had grown huskier, and it caromed inside my head.

Damn you, Jack.

"Okay," I mumbled softly. Noticing that his boxers were gone—having a hot naked person around when you're also naked is helpful—gave me a small glimmer of hope.

He gently took my hand in his own, slowly switching their places as he relinquished control and led my fingers as they pressed against that sensitive flesh. I closed my eyes and started slowly at first, trying to remember what I did when I was all alone in my bed. Even though it normally came so naturally, the situation was so foreign that I wasn't entirely sure what to do.