He Loves Lucy (29 page)

She nodded enthusiastically and rose on her knees and shimmied the pants down, then reached behind her and pulled them off her calves and feet, tossing them to the floor.

Lucy was now just wearing a pair of lacy underwear, not a thong but not granny panties, either, and Theo could see her like never before. Her hips were smooth and curvy and her belly-the one they’d worked on for ten months-was soft and rounded and vulnerable, and he stroked her there, spread his hands over her, and she rolled her head back and groaned. She was simply beautiful.

He let his hands travel downward, and he cupped her mound through her panties. Her head flew upright.

“Wait,” she gasped.

“For how long? And why?”

Lucy grabbed his wrist and held his hand still. She looked down at him. “I’ll be right back.”

“Oh jeez, Luce. Not this again.”

She was already off him, and he watched her as she ran into her bedroom. Before she could change her mind, he ran in there after her, catching her just as she slipped a slinky little camisole over her top. He came up behind her and nuzzled the back of her neck, all while he slipped off her panties.

“I want all of you.”

“You can have all of me. I’m just not ready for you to
see
it all, not all at once.”

“I adore you. I want to see every inch of you.”

“Someday soon. I promise.”

“Maybe that could be
my
reward at the end of all this, Lucy,” he joked. “We reach our goal and you get Jamaica and I get your totally naked body to look at as I please.”

She turned in his arms, a thoughtful look on her face. “Maybe we really should use this as our motivator. No sex until we’ve reached our goal. I would be positively
driven
to succeed.”

She placed her hand on his shorts and slipped the belt free, unzipped the zipper, and reached inside his boxers. “Think about it,” she whispered, stroking him until dark splotches danced in his vision. “You’re the expert on motivation, aren’t you? Didn’t you say I needed a reward that was decadent, luxurious, something waiting for me that I wanted more than anything?”

“Forget it.”

“It’s just twelve weeks.”

“No way.” Theo slammed his lips down on hers, stroked the bare flesh of her bottom and her thighs, reached around between her legs, touched the hard little button between her pussy lips.

“I’d be ready to explode by then,” Lucy gasped.

“I’m ready to explode now,” he said, pushing her down onto the bed.

“Let’s flip a coin,” she suggested.

Theo couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. Lucy was on her back, her legs open, her sex exposed, and she was suggesting they flip a coin to determine if they’d proceed.

As Theo ripped off his shorts, he rooted around in his pocket for a quarter. Lucy sat up on the edge of the bed, holding the coin and staring at his hard cock.

“I’ve missed you,” she said, momentarily distracted. “OK. Heads or tails?”

“I want head
and
tail,” he said.

Lucy laughed. Theo didn’t.

“All right,” she said with a sigh. “Heads, we hose like rabbits for the next twelve weeks. Tails, we torture each other for motivation and after the last weigh-in you get me naked, no delaying on my part, no more excuses. Ready?”

This was insane. “No.”

Lucy flipped the coin and smacked it down on the back of her hand. She peeled her top hand away. ‘Tails.“

“Fuck that.” Theo rolled with her on the bed and they laughed and in between kisses and guffaws they agreed that it would be just this once… then they’d go on the clock.

They did everything they could think of in the next five hours, and Theo got his head and his tail, and at four in the morning Lucy walked Theo to the door.

“I’ll see you at the gym in an hour, Cunningham. Don’t be late.”

She snickered, straightening the camisole. “Be nice to me today. I can hardly move.”

Theo stared at her. “I can’t go twelve weeks without you, you know. The coin flipping was amusing, but you can’t really be serious about this no-sex policy.”

Lucy shifted her weight and leaned against the hall table. She brought her eyes to his and said thoughtfully, “Theo? What if I said the sacrifice would keep me focused?”

“You’re serious.”

“Think about it. I love you and want you and need you, and I have millions of people watching me make this last push toward my goal. What if sexual tension spurs me on? Think of what I would do to get my hands on you again.”

Theo felt his eyebrows rise high. “Spinning classes?”

“You’re not that good.”

Theo laughed. “My goodness, Miss Cunningham. You’re a shark.”

Lucy gave him one of her sweet, wonderful smiles. “No. I’m just a practical woman. You’ll be my carrot on a stick. You’ll be my Miller time.”

“I won’t last four days.”

“I’ll wear my pink sweatpants a lot.”

“That’ll help.”

“Be brave. Be strong.”

“I’ll see you in less than an hour now, Cunningham.”

Theo kissed her cheek, and as he turned to leave he picked up a small slip of paper from the foyer table. He turned and frowned at her.

“What?” she asked.

“Did you order pizza last night?”

Lucy’s jaw fell open and her eyes got huge. “How the
hell
did you know? Did you taste it on my breath?”

Theo smiled and shook his head. “The only thing I tasted on your breath was paradise, babe. But here’s your receipt.”

“She’s not fat enough! She needs to be fat! You promised she’d stay fat!”

Stephan winced at the sound of Murray Goldstein’s New York bellow, wondering how he could gently point out that technically, he’d promised no such thing. He’d only promised that Lucy would fail to meet her goal, making the Palm Club look bad, and that would, in turn, stop Murray from losing customers to Ramona Cortez.

That’s all he’d ever promised. Not that that wasn’t bad enough.

“She’s attractive now! You’re ruining me!”

Stephan felt the sweat break out on his upper lip and wiped it off with a shaking hand.

“I’m done with you. You put a stop to this
right now
or you have seaweed growing out of your eye sockets. Your choice.”

He supposed it was a blessing to know the truth about his fate instead of worrying about it. At least Murray had not used the expression “sleeping with the fishes.”

It’s a good thing he’d taken the time off to prepare for his escape. He’d acquired a fake Canadian passport. He’d rented a house in the Caymans. He was ready to go at a moment’s notice.

Stephan reached for his ibuprofen but found a Snickers bar instead and unwrapped it. He finished it in three bites and added the latest wrapper to the pile in the trash can. He really should cool it on the carbs. Maybe Lola had been right.

“Are you listening to me, Sherrod? Your time is up.”

Stephan hung up on him and had begun to root around for another Snickers when he felt someone’s presence in his doorway. He looked up to see Lola Di-Paolo, which shocked him for two reasons-she’d never come to his office before, and he wasn’t used to seeing her with clothes on.

She frowned at him. “Have you been eating candy bars?”

“Huh?” He looked down at his hand and shoved the Snickers back in the desk drawer. “Of course not. What are you doing here?”

Lola closed the door behind her and made herself comfortable in one of the chairs facing his desk. “That fat bitch got me fired.”

Stephan smiled. “So I heard. But I think you helped yourself out a little, there.”

“It’s not fair!”

Stephan nodded. “Look, Lola, I have a meeting. Is there something I can do for you?”

She huffed, and looked quite hurt. “I want you to give me a job.”

Stephan nearly choked. “Uh. Doing what exactly?”

“I’ll help you with your Lucy problem, maybe see if I can find a way to pop her balloon. If I weren’t out of a job, I’d do it for free, of course.”

Stephan nodded. Maybe Lola really did understand how this game was played. “And your salary would be in platinum toe rings or cash?”

She smiled. “How about a little of both?”

Journal Entry Sept 16

Breakfast: 3/4
c oatmeal; 1/4 c raisins; 1 c skim milk; decaf

Lunch: 3
oz turkey breast; 1 oz light cheese; 2 c salad and raw veggies; 2 tbsp olive oil and red wine vinegar; 1/2 c brown rice

Dinner: 3
oz grilled red snapper; 1
c
steamed broccoli; 3/4 c couscous

Snack: 1
c light yogurt; 1 c raspberries

Affirmation for Today:

Office of Doris Lehman, “MSW, PhD Lucy decided she’d lie down today. She kicked off her shoes, stretched out on the love seat, and propped her head on an armrest. She crossed her feet at the ankles.

“I am ready to be analyzed,” she said.

Doris laughed. “How’s the celibacy thing been working out?”

Lucy closed her eyes and sighed deeply. “Well, since the pizza night we’ve been pretty good. A few kisses here and there. Theo rubbed my back one morning after a hard workout and it got a little out of control.”

“Oh? What happened?”

“He started rubbing my front, too.”

“I see.”

“Then he followed me into the ladies’ locker room and threw me down on the bench.”

“Oh my.”

“Yeah. Scared the cleaning lady half to death.”

“But is it motivating you?”

Lucy opened one eye. “Doris, I’m so damn motivated I can’t see straight. I’m so motivated that I’m starting to think both Andy Taylor
and
Barney Fife are sexy.”

As Lucy walked toward the scale, she crossed her fingers. She crossed her toes. She crossed her eyes.

She knew this was a moment of reckoning. That morning’s
WakeUp Miami
audience was overflowing out into the street. The TV station had to hire off-duty Miami police officers for crowd control. Lucy saw some of her steadfast fans out in the studio audience waving signs and wearing their autographed T-shirts, and she really didn’t want to let them down. She didn’t want to let Theo down. Most of all, she didn’t want to let herself down.

In the moment it took to reach the scale, the last few weeks raced by in her mind. She’d worked harder than she’d ever worked in her life-running, cycling, free weights, abs, glutes, pecs-it was a blur. Her food had been sane and healthy. Her journal was accurate and full of positive thinking-OK, most days. And Theo was back in her life. They were a team again.

“Go, Lucy! Go, Lucy!” the audience shouted.

Theo held out his hand and she took it, stepping onto the scale. She blinked and focused on the audience, then abruptly laughed-Luigi the pizza guy was in the second row! He waved and shouted and she waved back, exhaling deeply, knowing that the air in her lungs didn’t weigh much, but surely it weighed something.

At least Theo’s fingers were tapping the right way. At least she hadn’t gained again. The crowd was getting a little rowdy, and John Weaver asked for quiet.

“You rock, Cunningham,” Theo whispered to her. Then he faced the cameras. “Lucy’s lost the six pounds she gained last month, plus an additional four. Lucy weighs one hundred and fifty-four pounds today.”

The cheering was so loud that her ears hurt. Theo helped her down and hugged her hard. She started to cry-from relief, from happiness, and because Theo had his arms around her for the world to see, and they reached just fine.

October

It was a glowing evening in suburban Fort Lauderdale, and the Cunninghams’ backyard was overflowing with guests. The reason for this get-together was Lucy’s parents’ thirty-fifth wedding anniversary, and Dan had come down from Pittsburgh and Mary Fran and the kids were there and-total shocker-Keith came, too. Lucy noted that he was laughing a lot and seemed more relaxed than she’d seen him in years. Mary Fran was working part-time and Keith had quit his sales job and started a consulting group with a former colleague. Money was tight, but Frannie said he was home at least three nights a week for dinner. There had been no dancing on bars in quite a while.

Milling around the backyard were Theo and Buddy plus Aunt Viv and Uncle Martin, whom Lucy hadn’t seen for several months. Everyone seemed to get along fine, and the party was in full swing when Dan came over to sit next to her.

He fidgeted with the sleeve of his shirt and stared down at the grass. “I don’t think I do it for Gia anymore.

I think the novelty has worn off.“ Dan raised his eyes to his sister’s. ”She hasn’t returned my calls. She doesn’t swing by Pittsburgh on the way back from New York. I guess I was deluding myself.“

Lucy didn’t know what to say. She’d never seen Dan so sad or even so serious. She herself hadn’t talked to Gia much, so she had no idea what was going on in her life. “I know she’s traveling a lot, Dan.”

He shrugged, giving her a weak smile. “Who’d a thunk in the first place, huh? I mean, how many other residents at Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital have ever dated a supermodel?”

“My guess would be zero,” Lucy said, patting his hand.

“You got that right.”

Lucy smiled at her brother. “You’re great, Dan. You’ll find somebody. It’ll happen.”

Dan wagged an eyebrow. “Word’s gotten around, though. The women back home are trying to figure out what ole Danny’s got that Gia Altamonte wanted. My stock has gone up dramatically.”

Lucy and Dan joined Theo, Buddy, and Keith in a game of volleyball. Then Lucy went to chat with Viv and Martin for awhile, then helped her mom make the salad. When Lucy carried it out, Theo said he had an announcement to make.