Heads or Tails (11 page)

Lincoln didn’t know whether to laugh at Tristan’s arrogance or shiver in fear that he was right. He shifted uncomfortably. ‘Okay I’m not stupid. I know Tristan basically looks like he fell from some painted chapel ceiling somewhere and landed on a movie screen. And I get the part where he has a…’ He shifted again. God, Ivyanne was right! He hated talking about this with her! But he’d thrown down the friendship gauntlet-he couldn’t run in the opposite direction now-not when there was so much to learn.

‘A large coffee instead of a regular?’ Ivyanne supplied, lips pursed over a threatening smile.

‘Whatever..’ Lincoln blushed, knowing he was a little more than ‘regular’ but realizing it didn’t matter-Ivyanne had only Tristan to compare it to so either way, he was going to fall short. ‘But-how attracted to him
are
you? Is it so much that...that maybe you
aren’t
seeing him clearly? For his flaws or his...other crap? Radiance or whatever else he called it?’

Ivyanne smirked. ‘To be clear-he didn’t say ‘radiance’. That was
my
ad-lib. He’s not that hung up on himself.’

‘And yet the question remains...and you my dear, do
not
have permission to dodge it.’

Ivyanne’s shoulders sagged. She appeared to be mulling it over. When she replied, she didn’t look up: ‘A lot. I know he’s a siren and so am I but sometimes it just feels like he’s singing to me even when he’s not spoken a word.’

Lincoln had always wondered if disemboweling would be the worst way to go. Now he
knew
it to be true. His hands curled around the sides of the table and he rested his head against the dusty timber, trying to get a handle on himself.

‘Well…’ he swallowed hard. ‘Fuck.’

Ivyanne lifted her forehead, her gaze tentative. ‘Yeah.’ She said nothing else, offered no apology, didn’t sugar coat her admission by throwing him a bone. The silence was so thick and awkward that Lincoln couldn’t stand it. He pushed away from the table and went to where the tree met the fence line, trying to sort his thoughts and hating the neat order he managed to get them arranged in. Either way he looked at it-Ivyanne wanted Tristan more. Or, in the very least, believed she did. He gripped the rough wood of the fence, realizing that this moment was almost identical to the night in the tree fort. That time, she’d walked. Was this a moment of similar significance? Was her admission her selection? So soon?

The urge to surrender overwhelmed him-to throw in the towel before she could rip it from his grip. He could walk away and follow the high road, or he could cling on and be dumped. He glanced at her over the shoulder, and saw that the speckled light filtering through the Jacaranda tree was casting disillusioning shadows over her face. She didn’t look like Ivyanne in that moment, but Ivanna. Withdrawing from the battle wasn’t an option. And his sorrow was the result of not having fought hard enough in the past.

‘So when I made love to you….’ He turned his body to hers, wetting his lips. ‘It didn’t compare? Is that what you’re saying?’

Ivyanne’s head snapped up, and she looked astonished. ‘How could you even ask that?’

He stared at her. ‘Well your attraction to him-’

‘
Attraction
Link. Pull. Draw. A marked Son blessed with wicked mojo. When I went to bed with Tristan, I did so with a very persuasive stranger who held nothing back.’ She looked away again. ‘But when I went to...beach.. with you-it was with the love of my
life
. There’s no comparison there and no winner. How could you even think there
would
be?’

He frowned. ‘Well Adele said that Tristan-’

‘Adele? The girl you just dumped?’ Ivyanne rolled her eyes. ‘I’m coming around to her Lincoln but she won’t be speaking for me. I’ve been turning two very distinct occasions over in my mind for a month now and believe me when I say that you held your own! Tristan was wild, yes, but I don’t doubt for a second that you could be just as-’ she blushed. ‘You’re incredible in bed Lincoln. If you’re worried that I’m doubting your ability...snap out of it.’

Relief overcame the tension in Lincoln’s body, relaxing his limbs. ‘Oh. And...and yes I could, and will here and now if I need to prove it.’

Ivyanne snickered. ‘Not necessary, but thanks.’ She sighed and leaned back, staring up at the canopy above. ‘The question is not whether you can turn me inside out in bed, Lincoln, but if Tristan can make love to me like you do.
That’s
what I doubt. That’s what I need to know. But it’s impossible to find out now. You can’t make love to someone who has half of your heart knowing it would devastate the man who has the other. I can’t, in good conscience, look at either of you without feeling the other’s pain. That’s why I don’t want you around-
you
make my heart pound and
he
steals my breath. I was counting on being overwhelmed by one of you-or the memory of one of you-when I left, but neither dominated my thoughts. It makes me wonder….’

‘What?’

She locked her eyes on his. ‘If I love
either
of you enough.’

That hurt, and he couldn’t disguise his grimace. Her declaration actually dredged up every feeling of hate he had towards his rival-for making her doubt what she’d always known with his ridiculous sexual thrall.

‘How can you even say that after all we’ve been through?’ He asked.

She shrugged. ‘I’ve been stomping my feet for four months now trying to prove that I’m not as perfect as you guys have convinced yourselves of, and there it is.’ She stood up, walking towards him and lowering her voice. ‘I used to look at you guys with longing Lincoln...now all I feel is guilt.’ She came to a rest beside him and stared out at the fields in the distance. ‘Lately, I’ve wondered if maybe I should just give up on you both. Find someone who can tolerate having half a heart, because you both deserve better than one.’

‘There is none better than you.’

Ivyanne looked up at him, smiling sadly. ‘No stronger siren, no. My pheromones are unequalled, as is my beauty. I see that now. I can draw you in with one crooked finger and you can’t for the life of you, resist it.’ She reached up and pushed his hair out of his face with petal-soft fingers. ‘But there are worthier mermaids. Like Pintang, and Grace...They could offer you two complete devotion right now. Whereas I can’t even promise to kiss you without wondering if I’m kissing the wrong man.’

Lincoln glowered at her. ‘I don’t want Grace.’

‘Because I won’t allow you to want her.’ Ivyanne counteracted.

‘Oh come on.’ It was his turn to roll his eyes. ‘I’m in love with you but I have my own mind.’

‘Not as much as you think.’ Ivyanne said, still smiling. ‘Don’t you ever wonder why I’m so coveted? What makes my bloodline so elite, considering how much more powerful Ardhi is? Roan was? They were Marked-not Court. Ardhi could kill me in an instant and create his own line of turned mer, so why doesn’t he have the crown? What makes me so special if all I can do is grow good hair and piss you and Tristan off?’

As she asked the question, Lincoln realized he had been thinking along those lines since he’d first had the whelk pressed to his ear but had never really articulated the thought. Sure Anna L’Autienne had been bursting with power-but as far as he knew, none of her descendants had shared a single one of those gifts. They were simply prettier, faster and stronger than the others.

‘Why?’ He asked.

Ivyanne took him by the arms and smiled, slowly turning him so that his back was against the trunk of the Jacaranda-partially obscuring the view of them both from the cafe. ‘Take your shirt off.’

Lincoln’s fingers went to his buttons, and his heart started pounding with renewed vigor. He didn’t know what she was going to show him, but he had a feeling that he was going to enjoy finding out.

‘Mmm..’ Ivyanne glanced down at his torso and then delicately rested her palms on his abdomen-her touch sizzled him. ‘Gosh you’re looking good.’ Her gaze floated back to his. ‘Are you
feeling
good? Are you hard for me Link?’

He nodded, feeling himself grow heavy. Her thumbs skirted along his skin, making his lower abdomen tighten with need. He felt vaguely self-conscious that people nearby might be watching, but really, he didn’t care.

‘What would you do to have me right now?’ She asked, leaning closer. ‘Build my enclosure? Elope with me?’

Lincoln nodded.

‘Swim to Brazil….Sign over the resort to my care?’

He paused, then nodded. He would. ‘If that’s what it took…’

Ivyanne smiled a dazzling smile then licked her upper lip delicately. ‘You’re so sweet baby. And generous...and so
beautiful
.’ She ducked her head in, inhaling him then pronounced in a breathy voice: ‘I want you so much. I want to show you how much….’ She gave him a wanton look through lowered lashes. ‘Right here, in the sunlight.’

Lincoln’s breathing was so shallow that he suddenly realized he was bordering on hyperventilating. ‘Then do it,’ he urged her roughly. ‘I won’t tell a soul!’

She pouted. ‘You know I can’t. So maybe…’ she reached down and cupped him. ‘Maybe you should just
come
.’

His erection jerked in warning and he gasped, feeling more out of control than ever before.‘The things you do to me…’ he breathed, struggling to hold on. ‘You just get sexier every day…’

‘Sexy enough to make you half-strip in front of witnesses?’ She whispered. ‘To agree to sign over the resort? And brink you to the brink of bliss with the batt of an eye?’ Her question was laced with a trace of malice. ‘Tell me again, how you know your own mind, Lincoln.’

He felt himself grow cold, felt the shift in his body as it reclaimed itself. He drew back, staring at her, lost to reason. ‘What…?’

She stepped back. ‘
That
was me Link-the
real
me. The creature part. You’re capable of that too-just not to the same degree. Your attraction to me is sincere-as are your feelings-but if I wanted a pet merman for an hour or so...you couldn’t fight me off. All I’d have to do is sing and-’ she snapped her fingers. ‘Willing slave.’

Lincoln gaped at her. He’d known that she had the ability to manipulate-but not to the degree she was claiming!

‘It’s true. That’s my power and though I can control it, it leaks from me steadily, and constantly, and has since we
first met
. I was the child strange men turned to look at in the street, who made them aware of their darkest thoughts. I was the teenager teachers attempted to detain after class. Why do you think my mother had me watched constantly? Because she knew-she’d
been
there. There were times in her life when she needed bodyguards-and that’s how she met Garridan.’ Ivyanne paused. ‘It was the same with Ivy, and Anna before her. The essence of the mermaid lies within us more than others-it’s why we rule.’ She made a sour face. ‘Our ability to influence people, to make humans do our bidding for the good of the environment is why the kingdom has allowed us to stay in charge. And the fact that we don’t use it unless absolutely necessary is why they
like
us being in charge. We have the lineage, and their trust.’ She turned away from him, and went back to her coffee. ‘And it’s why I don’t trust myself, or anyone’s feelings for me. How can I ever know how deep they go? How much is my own projection?’

Lincoln was feeling out of sorts with his own body. ‘I’m going to go splash water on my face, you’re going to drink your coffee, then I’m going to take you home.’

Ivyanne picked up her latte. ‘Is that your plan?’ She asked with a hint of a smile playing at her lips. ‘Or mine?’

Lincoln stared at her. He honestly didn’t know.

*

The first twenty minutes of the drive home were so awkward that finally, Ivyanne switched on Lincoln’s C.D player and smiled as Havana Browns’
‘We Run The Night’
floated out of his sound system.

‘This is a great car.’ She commented. ‘And you know what? I don’t feel sick. I’m a bit dizzy, but not gross like last time.’

‘That was Tristan’s presence, not my driving.’ Lincoln joked. He shifted to speed up after a traffic light in the centre of town, and then rested his hand on hers. Ivyanne stared at his profile, which was etched with deep concern, despite his attempt at humor. Outside the window behind him, tourists bustled about, having their morning beers in swimsuits and  laughing at jokes in different languages. They all looked so young and carefree that a fist of envy closed around Ivyanne’s heart.

‘Are you wondering yourself now?’ She asked softly, trying to ignore the joyous world she was being excluded from. ‘How much of what you feel is real?’

But Lincoln shook his head. ‘Not even a wink.’ He smiled at her quickly. ‘If you wonder yourself, it’s because you’re still as blind to your true beauty as you always have been.’ He shifted his attention back to the road. The small, colorful town was disintegrating into forested hills inset with beautiful apartments overlooking the sparkling beach. ‘Mind you, I’m pretty embarrassed about what just almost happened so I agree...you’re a bit of a bitch.’

Ivyanne snorted. ‘Thank you. That may be the most honest compliment sandwich I’ve ever been given.’