Heads or Tails (37 page)

Ivyanne moved to the buffet and picked up the gun Price had left behind, fingering it gently, testing it’s weight in her hand. Behind her, Lincoln began to sob, and it tore a hole through her.

He kissed Grace. Grace Londeree. That beautiful, flawless, innocent….
Ivyanne turned and walked back to Lincoln, seeing immediately that he had draped his good arm across his eyes, and was crying brokenly. The sight wrecked her. She approached him, lifted the gun, and placed it in his palm, wrapping his fingers around it.

Lincoln lowered his arm, staring at the gun with confusion, before looking up at her in bewilderment, sniffling. ‘You want me to
shoot
myself?’

Ivyanne took a step back and placed a hand on her chest. ‘No,’ she choked out. ‘Me. Shoot me. Here.’

Lincoln’s eyes widened. ‘Ivyanne I know I’ve hurt you but you need to-’

‘Not for
that
,’ she said. ‘I mean-this isn’t about you. This is about me, and the things I can’t take back.’ She drew in the deepest breath she could. ‘I was with Tristan tonight, Link. In my room.’ Her throat tried to close over the words but she squeezed them out. ‘I was in bed with him, while you were with Grace. So if
you
deserve a gunshot to the arm, clearly
I
deserve one right through the heart.’

All the color drained from Lincoln’s face. ‘You
slept
with him?’

Ivyanne shrugged. ‘The fact that I can’t answer with a definite yes or no doesn’t really matter, does it?’ She swallowed. ‘The point is, that he and I were together tonight. Maybe more together then we’ve ever really been.’

Lincoln’s head fell back so he could contemplate the ceiling-and Ivyanne could see him blinking back tears. The the gun clattered to the floor.

‘Were you making a choice?’ His voice was both wooden and gravelly.

‘Yes,’ she said softly. ‘I was
choosing
to be weak, to give my body what it wanted.’

Lincoln turned to stare at her, his expression blank. ‘You’re
body
? Not your heart?’

Ivyanne had never felt so uncomfortable in her own skin. It was tempting to retract her heart from the situation to comfort Lincoln, but Tristan had fought hard to make her see that she truly loved him-and he’d won. Writing their coupling as sheer lust after the fact would be deceitful to both men.

‘The two things aren’t mutually exclusive anymore, sweetheart,’ she said softly. ‘I can’t give one without the other.’ She wiped at her own tears. ‘But I was in it to get laid, not engaged, if that helps.’

‘By the smallest margin known to man or mer…’ Lincoln turned his tear-streaked face to hers. ‘I knew it.  When we spoke yesterday-I could
feel
it, in my bones. You were calling to apologize in advance.’

Ivyanne squeezed her eyes shut and put a hand to the sick feeling in her gut, but it wouldn’t be rubbed away. ‘Maybe you’re right. All I know is that I’m losing my mind. The water’s not cutting it, Pintang’s beautiful food isn’t cutting it... I just wanted to feel the weight of a man’s body on top of me,
without
the weight of his expectations, and Tristan promised to deliver that.’ She sighed, opening her eyes and sinking back onto the chair. ‘Plus, I got him hurt tonight. In fact, I put everyone’s lives in serious jeopardy and it reminded me of when he came back and my emotions, hormones, fears-it all just snowballed. The bottom line is that I needed him-
desperately
. And yet when the phone call came, about you, I-’ her face contorted and she shook her head, unable to speak.

Lincoln pushed himself up, still frowning. ‘It fucking hurts, you know.’

Ivyanne looked down at her feet. ‘I know.’

‘Were you going to tell me?’

Ivyanne shrugged. ‘Seems likely.’

Lincoln sighed. ‘I hate this.’

‘So do I.’ Ivyanne exhaled heavily and regarded him. ‘Lincoln…’

He looked up, his expression blanched. ‘Ivyanne please, I know you’re mad-we
both
are-but if you tell me that it’s over, I swear to god that I will put that gun to my temple!’

Ivyanne raced forward. ‘I wasn’t going to say that,’ she whispered, holding his face in her hands. ‘I was going to apologize... for everything I’ve done to hurt you. Including tonight-’ she sniffled. ‘And everything I’m probably going to do before this is over. I’ve pushed you away but still won’t let you go and that makes me a monster.’

Lincoln shook his head. ‘No.
I’m
fucking up all over the shop. With Lux and Sherri...now with Grace... I have absolutely
no
self-control. And I haven’t from the moment you came back into my life-it’s no wonder you don’t trust me when I’m acting like the man I accuse him of being, and
he’s
acting like
me
!’ He looked into her eyes, his expression one of urgency. ‘I’m just so
scared
. I feel like my self worth is all tied up in you-I can’t lose you.’

Ivyanne wanted to tell him that he wouldn’t, but those words wouldn’t leave her mouth. She pulled his forehead against hers and closed her eyes, her heart a-flutter.

‘I don’t want to lose you either,’ she whispered. ‘Every time I think I can make my mind up, one way or the other, I picture seeing you-
either
of you-afterwards in someone else’s arms and it makes me feel
desolate
. To tell you the truth I wish I could keep things exactly as they are-both of you here and in love with me, for always.’

‘With an open door policy?’ Lincoln joked.

Ivyanne chuckled, wiping at her tears. ‘I don’t know about
that
.’ She lifted her face to his. ‘I just feel like I need
years
to make this decision-
decades
. I hate Tristan for putting a ticking clock on this but the truth is, if he hadn’t, lord knows how long this would take me.’ She sighed. ‘I’m so scared of making the wrong choice for the wrong reasons.’

‘There is only
one
reason.’ Lincoln whispered, his hand slipping to the back of her neck. ‘This one.’ Lincoln’s lips nudged hers. ‘I just need you to stop trying to ignore this and start remembering why you came back to The Seaview in the first place.’

They were kissing straight away, both of their faces wet and salty with tears. Lincoln wrapped his good arm around her waist and pulled her up onto his lap before easing her onto her back and deepening the kiss.

Ivyanne pulled his face closer, her heart expanding in her chest as he filled the void inside her with pure, sweet light.

*

Knock Knock.
‘Ivyanne? Ivyanne are you still in there?’

Lincoln’s eyes fluttered open to see that it was still incredibly dark outside. He didn’t know what time Ivyanne had gotten up and turned the light off, but judging by the fog clouding his mind, he hadn’t been asleep for long.

Ivyanne sighed gently and Lincoln glanced down at her, noticing that she was still asleep, her exquisite features highlighted by gentle moonlight. He tightened his arm around her and buried his face gratefully into her neck, praying that Garridan would get the hint and leave so as not to disturb the queen. Snuggled up like that in the shadowy room, feeling her breath against his face-it was the happiest he’d been in weeks, and he was in no hurry to have it cut short.

But the door creaked open. Lincoln raised an eyebrow at Garridan, tightening his grip around Ivyanne’s waist. ‘Do you have to come in now?’ Lincoln asked quietly. ‘She’s finally asleep.’

‘I’m sorry but yes.’ Garridan said quickly. His face was in shadow. ‘After everything that’s happened tonight, I need Ivyanne up in her room and safe.’

‘She’s with me.’ Lincoln whispered. ‘I’m a guard. How could she be safer?’

Against his chest, Ivyanne made a slight whining noise and stirred, burying her face in his chest.

‘Well, this room is wide open for one-so we need to move you too.’ He paused. ‘And I’m sorry Lincoln, but we can’t keep you on as a guard anymore.’

Lincoln felt a chill run through him. ‘What?!’ he croaked. ‘No way!’

‘I’m sorry but, uh,
yes
way. This has nothing to do with your skill Link-we’re all impressed with how you protected Grace tonight.’ Garridan walked a few more steps across the room. ‘
Incredibly
impressed.’

‘Then this is about Tristan huh?’ Lincoln asked rudely. ‘You just want me out of his way, don’t you? Well if you think I’m going back to Seaview and leaving her here-’

‘Stop it.’ Garridan sounded more weary than cranky. ‘This has nothing to do with a personal agenda and I’m insulted that you’d imply that. I didn’t have to put your name forward in the first place, you know, but I did, to be
fair
. And for how quickly you found Ivyanne that day she bolted-that took smarts, and we need smarts.’ Garridan reached under Ivyanne and picked her up like she was weightless. ‘This decision was made with you in mind-you-and your newfound ability to create mermaids for us.’

Lincoln pushed himself up on his good arm, feeling his left shoulder start to throb from that small movement. ‘
What’s
that now?’

‘Think about it boy. You’re the only mermaid alive-aside from Ardhi- who can turn humans for us. You just became mer resource numero ...whatever Spanish for ‘
two
’ is. If Ardhi finds out, which he will if that girl was spying on you all celebrating tonight, then you just became
uno
on
his
list and need to be protected almost as carefully as the queen.’ He stepped back. ‘You’re not being sent back to The Seaview, and I’ll be moving you back into your old room in the main house. In fact, everyone from the resort has joined us here for the foreseeable future. The doors of The Seaview are locked, and will stay that way until Ardhi is apprehended.’

Lincoln frowned, digesting this. His father was going to have a fit! But then again-so would Tristan when he found out that Lincoln had been bumped back up in accommodations. It made being shot
worth
it. ‘And Grace? She’s a target too.’

‘Yes we know. Grace has been set up in Sahori’s room. Dalton-who will be replacing you- is in your old accommodations with Tristan, Adele is rooming with Pintang and Marcus and Bane will be setting up a temporary camp in the rumpus room downstairs.’ He cleared his throat. ‘We have offered for Michael and Remi to come up as well, but they’ve opted to stay in Seaview in their private home.’

In Garridan’s arms, Ivyanne stirred. ‘What’s going on?’ she slurred.

‘Go back to sleep princess.’ Garridan said softly. ‘I’m taking you to bed.’

‘Oh…..’ Ivyanne sighed. ‘Okay dad..’

Lincoln looked at Garridan, and saw a smile tug at the corner of his lips. ‘Well... hmm…I suppose she’s quite out of it.’ He pressed a gentle kiss to Ivyanne’s forehead. ‘Poor thing. First Tristan, now you.’

Link’s drugged brain connected Garridan’s explanation with what Ivyanne had told him earlier, about Tristan’s own close call. ‘Is he badly injured?’

‘He has a severe laceration to his shin and probably a few fractures everywhere else.’ Garridan smiled. ‘Good thing he has thick skin. He was more pissed off that Ivyanne wiped him out along with Ardhi, than anything.’

‘Wiped him out?’ Lincoln echoed.

‘Big Ko Huna style.’ Garridan smiled cryptically. ‘It’s almost four a. m. I’ll get this one to bed, and then I’ll come back for you. You and Ivyanne can trade war stories in the morning.’

Lincoln grimaced, thinking they’d already shared more than he could handle. ‘Okay. Thanks mate.’

‘Don’t mention it.’ Garridan opened the door and edged out, being careful not to jostle Ivyanne too much. He didn’t close the door completely behind him, so when Lincoln heard his footsteps retreating, he got to his own feet, wincing when he felt the sores under his feet hit the icy cold floor. He hadn’t swum since early that morning, and he’d been running around all night in hard shoes. No wonder he felt like crap.

Lincoln got to the door and peaked out. When he saw Tristan sitting there, slumped in the hall, he frowned in consternation. ‘
You’re
guarding me?’

Tristan didn’t look up ‘Welcome to the land of the V. I. P.’ He said woodenly.

Lincoln inched out the door, noticing the bandage on Tristan’s leg. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’ve been a lot better.’ Tristan glanced up at him. ‘How about you?’

‘Actually I feel all right. That Irukanji stuff is wearing off but Joyce says I’ll heal quickly enough.’

‘We both know it’s not the Irukanji that has you up and at ‘em.’ Tristan got to his feet, using his hand to pull himself up on the doorknob of the theatre room. It looked awkward, and Lincoln felt for him. Never before had he seen Tristan Loveridge look so wounded. His sparkle had been snuffed out by gunfire.

Lincoln thought of Ivyanne in his arms and smiled softly. ‘I guess not.’

‘Did you sleep with her?’