Healed (22 page)

“Did you order the pizza?” I asked Nick.

“Yep. Should be here any minute.”

With a deep breath, I calmed myself, trying to let go of everything that had happened in the last few minutes, and sat down on the couch next to Andrew. Gazing across the room, I tried to figure out what he was focused on. Most likely it was nothing, since he got the same look when he was deep in thought. I slipped my hand into his, entwining our fingers, and his gaze drifted to mine, a slight smile lifting the corners of his mouth. But as quickly as it came, it disappeared again, and his focus was back across the room.

The pizza arrived a few minutes later and that seemed to pull him out of his thoughts. The conversation between the three of us wasn’t life shattering, but at least for those few minutes he wasn’t locked in his head.

“Do you want to come down and help me get the laundry?” I figured if he came down with me, whatever had freaked him out before wouldn’t bother him.

“Sure. There’s probably a ton after a whole week.”

“It wasn’t too bad but if you help, we can get it done twice as fast.”

He followed me down to the laundry and helped fold everything. The problem was when we got back upstairs and he retreated to the bedroom without so much as a word. Something had changed between last night when we went to bed, and that morning when we woke up. Whatever it was, I was just hoping he’d talk to me about it soon. Deciding to let him be, I stayed in the living room with Nick.

“What the hell was that earlier?” I whispered when I finally caught his attention.

He looked around the room and lowered his voice. “I have no idea. I told him you went down to the laundry, but you’d be back.”

“That is what I told you.”

“Then he asked how long you’d been gone. When I told him about ten minutes, he freaked. Wanted to know why I hadn’t gone to look for you when you didn’t come right back up. I tried to tell him the machine probably stopped again and you were waiting for it to be done, but he just wasn’t having it. That’s when he called you.”

“It was different. I’ve only ever seen Andrew like that after I’ve already flipped out on him.”

“In all of the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen anything like that.” Nick seemed as baffled as I was as to why Andrew would react so extremely to something so simple, which went some way to assuring me that I wasn’t being unreasonable.

“I think he’s still upset and he’s trying to find a way to release his pain without burdening anyone.”

“You’re probably right. We just need to have patience.”

I scoffed. “Something I don’t have very much of.”

He blinked. “Well, you did today. I fully expected to hear you screaming through the phone.”

“It took everything I had not to.”

“See, you can do it when you want to. You’ll just have to think before you speak. And if you need to vent, you know where to find me.” He winked.

“Thanks, Nick.” I gave him a quick hug. “I’m going to head to bed. Andrew kept me up most of the night, tossing and turning. I could use a good night’s sleep.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Getting up, I went down the hall to the bedroom. The light was already off and Andrew was snoring softly in bed. All of this had taken such a toll on him.

I tiptoed into the room and changed, before quietly slipping into bed next to him. As I drifted off to sleep, I could only hope that we all made a step forward tomorrow.

Unfortunately, the next day Andrew was just as quiet and brooding, the only difference being that Andrew didn’t even bother getting showered or dressed, leaving his glasses on all day. It was so unlike him. Andrew wasn’t the kind of guy who picked a shirt off the floor and smelled it to decide whether it was clean enough to wear again. If it was on the floor, he wasn’t wearing it. The glasses I could kind of understand, but he hated wearing them—even on his days off he took the time to put his contacts in. Even though I’d agreed to give Andrew whatever he needed, I had to admit I wasn’t enjoying the silence, or the fact that he was keeping his hands to himself. It wasn’t about sex. It was as simple as the casual touches we usually shared. They were non-existent. Unless I initiated it, it was “hands off.”

By Monday morning I was more than ready to get out of the house and go back to work. Nick and I were trying the best we could, but we weren’t always sure what to do, especially with Andrew being so withdrawn. Hopefully, he’d snap out of it. It was up to him though. As much as I wanted to take his pain, I couldn’t grieve for him.

When it came time to leave that morning a part of me felt a bit guilty, but it was a chance for him to be alone and work through his emotions. He was still curled up asleep in bed when I went to the living room. Nick was grabbing a cup of coffee before heading out the door.

“Here.” He handed me a travel mug. “I made a cup for you too.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking the cup. I gave our door one quick glance before I picked up my keys.

“You’re worried about leaving him.”

I sighed. “Yeah, but I think he needs some time alone to think. He’s been in his head so much the last few days. At least, since we got back from his parents’ house.”

“He’ll come around.”

“I hope it’s sooner rather than later,” I said as we reached the cars.

“Don’t worry. He’ll be fine, and if he needs you he knows where to find you.”

“True.” I opened my driver’s door. “Don’t work too hard.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I won’t,” he chuckled and climbed into the front seat of his car.

The whole day moved by pretty quickly. There was so much I had to catch-up on since I’d been out for over a week at that point. With all of the work on my desk, I decided to stay an extra hour, making sure to text Andrew so he didn’t freak-out, and adding that I would make dinner when I got home.

Andrew: Sounds good

At least his text messages sounded normal. When I’d gotten through all my brain could take for the day, I grabbed my stuff and got in my car to go home. To be honest, I was a little anxious to see Andrew. I knew it was selfish, but I wanted
my
Andrew back. The moment I walked into the apartment, I dropped my bag and sat down on the couch. I hadn’t realized how tired I was until I got home.

“Hey, baby.” Andrew came strolling into the living room. The words were right, but his voice sounded off.

“Hi, honey. How was your day?”

His mouth split into a wide grin. “Interethting.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? And why do you suddenly have a lisp?”

“Ask him what he did today.”

I hadn’t noticed Nick leaning against the wall at the end of the hallway. He was studying his hands, but his posture said he was anything but bored. They were starting to worry me.

Andrew put his hands up when I looked back at him. “Don’t freak-out.”

“Too late. Now tell me why you’re talking funny.”

He opened his mouth, I thought to speak, but instead he stuck his tongue out at me. I was ready to jump over the coffee table and throttle the life out of him when I noticed the little silver ball sitting on top of his tongue. My mouth dropped open in shock.

“You got your
tongue pierced?
”

Had I stepped into the Twilight Zone and missed the sign? Andrew had his tongue pierced. The only guy I knew who’d managed to go through four years of college, on the football team, without getting even one tattoo now had a tongue piercing?

“Yep. I’ve alwayth wanted one.”

“You’ve always wanted to stick a giant needle through your tongue for fun?”

He nodded, a little more excited about all of this that I expected.

“Umm . . . okay. Why now?”

“I’m tired of not doing thingth I want ’cauthe I worry what thomeone elthe might think.”

“And I guess you’re not worried about what I might think.” It wasn’t the piercing I minded—hell, when it healed it would probably be pretty damn sexy. My main concern was that he’d wanted it, but never told me. How many other things had he kept to himself?

He came over and sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “It’th not like that. I alwayth care about what you think. Thith wath thomething I’ve wanted forever but wath too afraid. If you really hate it, I’ll take it out.”

Well, when he offered that, how could I stay upset? It just showed me that my opinion did matter.

“No, if it’s something you want then keep it. I’ll get used to it. Besides, it might be really sexy.” I gave him a pointed look, his eyes immediately dropping to my core. The heat spread through my body, making my insides clench. Then a whole new thought occurred to me, dousing my desire pretty quickly.

“What are you going to do about work?”

“I got a clear ball for the top and the thwelling thould go down by the time I go back to work.”

In the back of my mind there were warning bells going off, but I chose to ignore them. Something told me this wasn’t the end of Andrew’s new adventures and I promised myself I’d ask him about that when we went to bed later.

Over the next few days, I worked my ass off trying to get caught up. Unfortunately, by the end of the week the long hours were starting to get to me, and I still hadn’t talked to Andrew about the other things “he’d always wanted to do.” Each night, the moment my head hit the pillow I was asleep. By the end of the week I was downright exhausted. Some of it was mental stress over Andrew. Some days were good . . . others, not so much.

A week after the tongue piercing he came home with dragon tattoo covering his upper arm and shoulder. I had a feeling I was in for more surprises. On the good days he was the man I’d agreed to marry. On the bad days, it was like someone else had taken over his body. He became very pensive and quiet, going most of the day without talking to anyone. I convinced him to go spend time with his dad, saying he could help him get stuff taken care of, things that had been left since the funeral. Either way, it was eight at night on a Friday and, yet again, I was dozing off on the couch.

“Hey, baby. Wake up, it’s still early.” Thankfully Andrew’s speech had returned to normal over the last few days.

“But I’m so tired,” I whined. “I think I’m gonna head to bed.”

His face paled. “Em, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong. I’m just really tired from all the hours I put in this week.”

I gave him a small peck on the cheek and stood. One step and his hand wrapped around my wrist and he pulled me onto his lap. He cupped my face with his hands. “Please tell me what’s wrong?”

I rested my hands on his shoulders. “I told you, nothing.”

His hands were feeling my forehead, checking my pulse. “Maybe we should go to Urgent Care.”

He didn’t get that I was just tired. It wasn’t like it was the first time I’d gone to bed early on a Friday night. “I don’t need Urgent Care to tell me that I’m tired and I need sleep. I’m going to bed.”

When I tried to stand, he held me on his lap so that I couldn’t get up. “We’re going to Urgent Care, whether I have to carry you over my shoulder or not.”

He’d lost his freaking mind. Did he really think I needed to see a doctor?

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not. Something’s wrong and we need to catch it early. We’re going.”

There was no arguing with him when he got like that. I may have been the one with the temper, but when he had all of the stubborn tendencies. The only way to end this argument would be to go and prove him wrong. Then I could finally get to bed. “If I go, will you let me go to bed when we get back?”

“Yes.”

I grabbed my purse and stood at the door. “Let’s go then. So that I can come back and go to bed.”

My hands were shaking. I was so pissed. He was just being ridiculous. There was no need for me to see a doctor. So much for being tired—the adrenaline running through my system had me wide-awake.

We spent the next few hours in a waiting room, only to have the doctor tell me there was nothing wrong and I could go home. When we got to the car, I climbed into the passenger seat without a word. We’d just wasted a bunch of people’s time—including my own. Andrew climbed into the driver’s seat and tried to take hold of my hand.

“I’m so glad everything is okay.”

I tugged my hand away from his but made an effort to calm the anger in my voice. “I told you that I was fine. You need to listen to me.”

“I know what you said, I just didn’t want you to brush something that could be serious under the rug because you didn’t feel like getting help.”

“Getting help? I don’t need help, Andrew. I need a good night’s sleep.”

“Yes, but now we know that for sure and we can both go home and sleep peacefully.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I faced forward. This was ridiculous. In an effort to calm the hell down, I let the silence in the car continue. When we got back to the apartment, I jumped out of the car and walked up the stairs to the door. Andrew was right behind me.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder to steer me toward the bedroom.

I shrugged his arm off. “Actually, since you made me run all over town, I’m pretty awake now. I’m just gonna sit and watch TV for a bit.”

“I’ll stay up with you.”

“Whatever,”
was on the tip of my tongue but I held it back, knowing it would be childish. After another hour or so, my body had relaxed enough that I could fall asleep. Andrew followed me to bed and before I knew it, I snuggled under the covers, teetering on the edges of sleep.

We hadn’t spoken since we got home.

It was the first time we’d gone to bed after a fight without making up. It was a weird feeling, but he still pulled me to him as we drifted off to sleep.

As the days passed, things didn’t get any easier, and I was at a loss as to what to do. It had been a month since Sarah passed away, yet Andrew was still in this strange place. Most days I felt like I couldn’t reach him. The only time he did open up to me were the times when he wanted to correct my behavior—whether it was telling me something was dangerous, or to yell at me for not eating right and exercising. It just went on and on. It got to the point where I really needed to sit down and talk to him. He needed help dealing with his mom’s death, more than I think he realized.