Healer's Choice (34 page)

Afterward it seemed perfectly natural to work together in preparing breakfast. Rebekka took charge of the fried potatoes and sausage, Phaedra the eggs.

The scent of cooking food soon filled the clearing. As Rebekka nudged a sausage link and turned the potatoes, she thought of the Tiger cub.

“Caius said someone cooks him dinner each evening. What about breakfast? Will he come by for it?”

Phaedra tsked. “A cub whose belly is always full won’t be motivated to become a better hunter. Breakfast is for those of us whose duties keep us close to camp and not lingering for days in the forest as we feast on a fat deer while wearing our fur.”

Rebekka startled. Shock coursed through her until she realized that of course it would be different for Phaedra. She was Were, a healer by calling and desire, rather than possessing a gift in the way humans did. It made sense Phaedra could hunt and kill without turning her talent into a thing of evil.

With thoughts of evil, the image of her demon father rose in Rebekka’s mind. She was saved from contemplations of him, from the confusion that came in painting him with the brush of sin when his actions seemed to speak otherwise, by Phaedra flipping an egg neatly onto a plate and handing it to her.

“I imagine Caius will track you here when he doesn’t find you at your cabin,” Phaedra said. “You restored more than his health. Between the attention he’s gotten from you and from the Tiger, he’s been a different child, happy and extroverted instead of withdrawn and timid.”

Rebekka served the potatoes and sausages before sitting on the fireside log. “Do you know what happened when he took Canino home with him?”

Phaedra chuckled. “Yes. It went better than I thought it might.

“Caius came here first thing this morning. His mother changed into Jaguar form and chased Canino away from their cabin last night. It’s the first intense reaction Deidre has shown since returning to the pack.

“She’s slipped back into her despair since then. Caius was worried, but I assured him that what happened was a step toward healing and Canino would surely recognize it for what it was and not avoid him because of it.

“The cub went off to check his snares. I’m sure he also intends to visit Canino to reassure himself that he’s still accepted by the Tiger.”

“He will be,” Rebekka said, scooping up a forkful of eggs. “I think Canino needs Caius as much as Caius needs him.”

“I suspect you’re right.”

They finished their breakfast and were washing dishes when Caius rushed into the small clearing, yelling, “Rebekka! I was riding Canino and he took off running with me on his back! He crashed into a Lion to say hello and I went flying through the air and landed right at Koren’s feet! The Lions want you to come for a visit. That’s why they’re here. The alpha told me to look for you and bring you to where they’re waiting.”

Caius’s voice lowered to a whisper. “There was an outcast with the Lions. He smelled almost completely human.”

Rebekka’s heart leapt at the prospect of seeing Levi again even as dread became a leaden weight in her gut. “Is someone sick?”

“Nobody said so. They don’t smell like they’ve been around someone who’s sick. They don’t smell worried about anything and they don’t seem anxious to get back home. Maybe they just want you to read the book to their healer too.”

Caius wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. Rebekka dried her hands on a cloth then returned the hug, leaning down to rub her cheek against his soft white-blond hair.

He squeezed once more then wriggled out of her arms. “We better go. The alpha is waiting.”

She said good-bye to Phaedra and followed Caius into the woods. Several yards down the path her thoughts went to Aryck.

Memories crowded in, of how often he’d glowered at Levi as they traveled, especially when she and Levi were sitting or walking together and talking quietly. At how adamant he’d been that Levi wouldn’t enter Jaguar territory.

Looking back at it, she could almost attribute Aryck’s behavior to jealousy. Or maybe she just wanted to believe there’d been something more than sexual curiosity or desire brought on by close proximity and shared horror.

Aryck hadn’t sought her out but she wanted to tell him where she was going, and with who, rather than have him find out later. Though maybe he already knew Levi was here. Maybe he was glad because it saved him from uncomfortable explanations or obvious avoidance.

“Was Aryck with the alpha?” she asked, pleased at how normal her voice sounded.

“No. He might be at his cabin. Do you want to go there first? The alpha didn’t say I had to bring you to him straightaway.”

Nearly painful flutters went through Rebekka’s chest. It was an excuse to see him. She recognized it for what it was, and yet despite everything she knew about men and about pure Weres, a tiny spark of hope still lingered inside her.

“Yes, I’d like to tell him I’m leaving.”

A flock of quail took flight in a roar of wings and shaken leaves. Caius cocked his head in a very catlike gesture but didn’t leave the path to explore what had startled the birds.

It was impossible for Rebekka to gauge the size of the Jaguar camp or how many cabins were hidden away in the woods. It was equally impossible to tell how far or close Aryck’s home was from Phaedra’s since they didn’t travel in a straight line.

Aryck’s cabin looked like all the others she’d seen. It was small, set in a dense pocket of trees and surrounded by a clearing to allow for cooking in a fire pit and for seeing anyone who might approach it.

Standing at the very edge of the forest Rebekka felt her confidence waiver and her nerve desert her. She rubbed damp palms against her pants.

It’s foolish to seek him out
, she thought, and might have turned away except for Caius saying, “You want me to go with you to the door? Or stay here and wait for you?”

She gathered her courage and straightened her spine.
I broke into the maze and lived to tell about it. I met the demon Abijah and survived it. I can do this.

“I’ll be right back,” she told Caius, afraid of what he might witness if he stood next to her at Aryck’s door.

Rebekka forced herself to breathe deeply as she crossed the clearing, but it didn’t slow the wild race of her heart. She knocked, though she imagined scent and sound had already carried news of her arrival.

Melina opened the door. Naked and looking sated with her hair unbound and her eyes slumberous.

Pain slid into Rebekka like a knife, tearing through her in a single slash that left agony in its wake and no way to hide it.

“If you’re looking for Aryck, he’s bathing in the stream,” Melina said. “If you hurry you might catch him.”

The Jaguar female stretched, emphasizing bruised, well-attended nipples. “I hope you
do
find him. Making me jealous got him what he wanted and he
knows
what coming back with your scent on him will do to me.”

Rebekka turned away, sickened, her throat tight and eyes burning as she fought not to give in to tears.

“What’s wrong?” Caius asked, his gaze darting back and forth between the cabin and her.

“Nothing,” she managed, taking his hand in a desperate need for the comfort of touch. “Let’s go to where the alpha and the Lions are waiting.”

Rebekka held the tears back until she reached Levi. But as soon as he pulled her into a fierce hug, her control broke.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and wet the front of his shirt, managing to suppress choking sobs but not the trembling that came with the pain of betrayal and the death of a dream she’d only just allowed herself to believe possible.

He didn’t ask what was wrong, though she felt his anger in the tension bristling along the length of his body. Heard it in the low growl of his voice when he asked, “You’ll come with us?”

“Yes.” Rebekka stepped back, keeping her face turned away from the Jaguar alpha. “Is someone ill or injured?”

“No. The grand matriarch wants to speak with you.”

Caius recaptured Rebekka’s hand in a fierce squeeze. “Can I go with you, so I can keep learning my letters? And you can start teaching me to read?”

Canino rumbled his approval of the question and signaled his willingness to visit the Lion pride by sitting next to Caius and leaning into him with such force the cub curled his arm around the Tiger’s neck.

“The boy is welcome in our territory,” one of the Lions said. “We’ll see to his safety.”

“He may go then,” Koren said, accompanying them to the border of Jaguar lands and officially handing off responsibility for both Caius and Rebekka to the Lion who seemed to be in charge.

Levi’s hand tightened on Rebekka’s arm as soon as they were out of Jaguar hearing. “What happened?” he asked.

Cyrin echoed his brother’s concern by pushing between them and snarling with such fury Rebekka touched the thick ruff of his mane and sent soothing waves of calm.

“Nothing happened,” Rebekka lied, glad she’d bathed the night before so they wouldn’t scent Aryck and the smell of passion on her skin.

Her emotions were too raw, the pain too new and too deep to talk about. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to confide the truth to Levi. How could she, when he didn’t settle on one female either?

“Melina said something to her,” Caius volunteered. “Rebekka was fine until that happened.”

“I’m still fine,” she said, making an attempt to sound as she usually did. “How could I be anything but fine when I’m seeing and learning things humans are rarely allowed to?”

Levi’s narrowed eyes and taut features said she wasn’t successful in fooling him. But he let the subject drop, and Caius filled the silence.

He told the others about her reading the journal to Phaedra. Recited the alphabet and shared what he knew about each letter. And after they’d stopped long enough for Rebekka to introduce a few new letters and draw them in the dirt, he went on to tell them about what he and Canino had already done together, and the things he wanted them to do.

His enthusiasm lifted Rebekka’s spirits even as it made her think about those in Oakland who needed her. She glanced at Levi, remembering the early days, when she’d taught him how to read. And how he, in turn, had offered to teach Feliss.

Worry for those in the brothels edged into Rebekka’s thoughts. It was time to go back, perhaps pay a visit to the Wainwright witches.

The weight of the journal in her pocket reminded her of her promise. There was very little of it left to share with Phaedra.

Her time on Jaguar lands was nearly done anyway, and Phaedra had said territorial lines weren’t as sharply defined for healers. She’d said she would pass on the information contained in the journal to others.

Rebekka slid her hand into her pocket and touched smooth leather. If she read what remained to the Lion healer, then she and Levi could leave from there. She could return to Oakland without having to see Aryck again.

It should have sent relief spiraling through her. Instead it felt as though a heavy weight of sorrow encased her heart.

It’s better this way
, she told herself, hoping if she repeated the words enough, she’d truly believe them.

She willed herself to wall off all thoughts of Aryck—without success.

Images crowded in.

Of Aryck injured, risking death to come to Oakland and find a healer for the cubs.

Of Aryck with Caius, gently smoothing the wash over ravaged flesh and muscle.

Of Aryck standing with the Wolf enforcer and suggesting alliance.

And though she tried to suppress it—of the look in Aryck’s eyes. The heat of his hands on her, making her feel beautiful, feminine, wanted.

Remembering it made her skin flush and her breasts swell with the phantom touch of his lips and fingers on her nipples. It made desire pool in her belly and threaten to slide lower, between her legs.

Knowing her companions would scent her arousal gave Rebekka the strength to push the memories back. Coming into sight of the pride’s home helped erect a barrier against their return.

It’s better this way
, she silently repeated, forcing herself to give this world she would most likely never visit again her full attention.

Where the Jaguars lived in cabins and the Wolves lived in a tentlike village made of animal hides, the Lions lived in low adobe buildings built against sloping canyon walls. None of them had wooden doors or shutters, but all had roofs laden with rubble and supporting the growth of scrub, so from above it wouldn’t be obvious they were dwellings.

Lions lounged on the roofs, sunning themselves and watching with interest. More than one cub crouched above a doorway as if preparing to spring on an unwitting playmate or sibling when curiosity drew them outside.

Eucalyptus trees added shelter without eliminating the openness of the area in front of and between the dwellings. The scent of the trees filled the air.

“This way,” Levi said, guiding her toward a building where at least thirty Lions gathered, almost all of them in animal form.

She felt his tension where his palm touched her shirt. It pulsed from him to her in a steady beat echoing with pain. And as they reached the pride members, Rebekka knew its source.

Levi didn’t exist for them. They looked through him, their movements orchestrated so even as they cleared a pathway to the doorway, there was no acknowledgment of his presence.

Her heart ached and guilt washed over her. She’d been so consumed with her own pain as they traveled, she hadn’t noticed that of the Lions, only Cyrin interacted with Levi.

Two men stepped to the doorway opening, blocking it with wide-leg stances and crossed arms. The Lion to the left radiated curiosity while his companion seethed with distrust and disapproval. It was the latter who said, “Only the healer may enter.”