Healing Touch (6 page)

“Why? Explain it to me. You say that like I
should understand, but I don’t.” His voice sounded sad. I fought
the urge to run my hand down his cheek.

I sighed and let the reasons flow out of me.
“Age, you’re a doctor, I’m a billing clerk at a truck repair shop,
age, I have a child, you don’t, I’m seven years older than you, I
like NASCAR, you probably belong to a country club somewhere, and
age! God, could we give the people of this town any more fuel for
their gossip?”

“NASCAR?” He shook his head clear of the
thought. “Who cares what they think. I like you, Tracy. In fact, I
think I really like you.” He walked to me as if to prove his point
but I stopped him and stepped back.

“Please don’t. I can’t be the center of town
gossip. I won’t put myself through that again.”

He stepped into me before I could stop him
and locked us head to toe. The kiss proved instantly that I was
wrong. He hadn’t done any of those things to convince me to have a
medical procedure done. He cared. I felt it. In the softness of his
lips the feel of his hands on my back and in my hair. He cared.
Jeremy stood right where he wanted to be and held the person he
wanted to be with.

His warm breath moved the hair by my ear.
“Please, will you try to bear it for me, for us? It’ll be ok.”

I looked into his young handsome face. I knew
better. I lived too long in this town to think I could avoid the
inevitable. In the end he’d finish up his temporary assignment,
leave the area and I’d be left to face the aftermath on my own -
humiliated.

I pushed him back and told him the lie that I
knew would send him away for good. “I’m sorry if I’ve done
something to give you the wrong impression, Jeremy. I’m not
interested in a relationship with you.” His hurt expression moved
further away from me as I sealed out fate. “And I never will
be.”

I heard him leave as I put the candles back
on the mantel. He didn’t say goodbye.

Looking in the mirror above the fireplace I
reminded myself, “It’ll only hurt for a little while. He’ll be gone
soon enough. It’s better this way.”

Part III

Homecoming week descended on Cherryville.
Store windows were painted white and red and banners claimed the
Panthers would crush the Bears.

Cody loved the parade. Each year my boss,
Randy, would find a big loud truck to partake in the festivities.
This year it was an orange monstrous thing with dual smoke stacks
and faux wood panels painted on the side. I helped him pick out the
candy the guys would toss from out the back.

“Here they come, buddy!” We could hear the
obnoxious truck a block away.

“Chuck, Buzz!” Cody bounced and waved his
hands to get the guys to toss him extra candy. There was no need to
encourage them. The little boy was showered with enough candy to
last three months. It’s a good thing the local dentist, Dr. O’Neil,
tossed out toothbrushes and sparkly toothpaste samples from his
float.

The marching band passed and then the women’s
auxiliary. I never understood why they wore such big ugly hats. Is
that what my donation went toward, a hideous hat purchase?

Cody waved at the women but as soon as he
realized there would be no flying candy his eyes moved on to the
next car.

“Oh look, Mommy, Jerewee! Hi Jerewee!”

To my sheer horror my eyes landed on Dr.
Nelson perched on the back seat of a classic convertible. The
horrible part wasn’t that he looked extra handsome in the borrowed
Panther letter jacket or that my child was overjoyed to see him. I
was horrified at my gut dropping reaction to the fact that he was
sitting next to Tanya Beckford, the new young lawyer in town.

“Fucking hell.” Luckily the marching band
drowned out my comment. At least I turned my head so Jeremy
couldn’t read my lips.

Tanya wasn’t new to town even though she was
the newest lawyer to be brought in to the only law firm on Main
Street. She was the daughter of Phillip Beckford, the longest
running mayor we’d ever had.

It had been a little over two weeks since the
incident at my house with the doctor. I sighed and exhaled a long,
cleansing breath. Any final remaining bits of doubt seeped from my
body. I had absolutely done the right thing. My visions of
embarrassment would have become reality if I ventured down that
road.

My little boy stood on my lap and almost
waved his arm off at Jeremy.

I pretended to look for the next element of
the parade not wanting to see Tanya and Jeremy sitting next to each
other. She bought her good looks. She had the ability to look
better with optical illusions of expensive clothes and fancy hair
cuts. How could someone with grease stains on her jeans compete
with that?

“Hi Jerewee.” Cody said in a normal voice
from my lap.

“Honey, he can’t hear you…” New khaki pants
entered my peripheral vision.

“Hi buddy. I was hopping I’d see you. I have
a surprise.”

Cody was lifted out of my arms and into the
air. Jeremy spun him around. I looked side to side to see who else
watched the show. My sister, seated to my left, shot me an odd look
then broke into a wide grin.

“Hi Tracy, You’re looking well.” Jeremy
smiled down at me and then to my sister.

I introduced the two of them in the most
casual way possible. “Leah, this is the temporary doctor at the
clinic. He works with Maggie Johannes.”

Jeremy shook her hand and filled in the gaps.
“Jeremy Nelson, it’s nice to meet you Leah.” Turning to me he
continued. “You must not have heard.”

The sparkle in his eyes, paired with Cody’s
arms wrapped around his neck, sent my heart beat into overtime.
Their cozy position didn’t strengthen my vow to stay away from him.
In fact, I slipped a bit. “I’m not sure what you mean. Heard
what?”

“I’m staying. As soon as I can sell my house
in Des Moines and find a place here, Cherryville will be my new
home.”

I blinked at him a few times. “Your new
home?” I couldn’t help but looked at the stopped parade behind him.
Tanya waved and shouting back and forth to people in the crowd. At
least he’d have someone to show him around town.

The thought hit me hard. The gut dropping
reaction of seeing him earlier had nothing on this new emotional
wave. I opened my eyes wide and looked around pretending I dropped
something. I had to keep him from seeing my tears. Why the hell did
that happen? Why in front of him? I sent up a silent plea for him
to finish his discussion and move on. Ten yards away a young
professional with expensive highlights waited for him. Perhaps she
waited for his move to town as well.

“Tracy?”

I couldn’t look just yet. I faked a sneeze
and grabbed a napkin from the stash in my purse. This action would
maybe give reason for my red eyes and contorted face.

“Whew. Excuse me. Here, let me take Cody. He
wanted something from one of the vendors so I think I take him
now−”

“That’s what I wanted to ask you. Can he ride
in the back of the convertible with us?”

Stunned amazement wouldn’t come close to
describing my expression. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the
woman who would sit next to my son and the beautiful man standing
before me. The man, who said he wanted me, was attracted to me, but
had been sent away by me. He took very little time finding a
replacement. Cody would be used to help paint the picture of an
idyllic family; idyllic because I wouldn’t be in it.

Over my dead body would he be used as a stage
prop. “Hell no!” The response came out much harsher than I
expected. Jeremy and Leah literally moved back from me.

Jeremy sputtered, trying to guess my source
of anger. “There’s a booster seat in the back. He’d be buckled in…
I’m sorry. I thought he’d have fun.” The doctor could see he
crossed a line but wasn’t sure which one. My reaction took him
completely off guard.

As far as I was concerned, the conversation
was over. I gathered Cody, took up my things in my free hand and
stomped off. I didn’t care who I had to push out of the way or
whose ears Cody screamed in to get back to Jeremy. I couldn’t stay
there for one more second.

An ice cream cone soothed my little boy.
While he ate, I quietly cried. I lied to myself that they were
angry tears.

****

Friday night the stadium was packed full of
town people. A group of kids played tag on the hill next to the
home bleachers. The current and retired school faculty sat in the
appropriate spot. Parents sat next to them. An entire section was
reserved for the rowdy juniors and seniors. A dedicated spot for
the cool kids.

During the pregame and first half I bumped
into lots of old high school friends, many of whom had moved away
from Cherryville. Homecoming weekend brought us all back to our
teen years. The stories flowed and old memories were dredged up
once again. Looking around at the scene I remembered why, despite
all the gossip, I stayed in this little town. Cherryville was home
to a large number of dear friends, a big extended family.

My good friend Joan came back each year and
we talked as if we never parted. Her two kids were older and one
had just started to drive. I knew a toddler was tough but
thankfully I had lots of time to get used to the idea of Cody
driving.

The Panthers won fourteen to seven. I missed
the last half of the game since Cody needed to get home to bed. I
already kept him up too late. He made it long enough to see the
handful of floats drive around the track. He waved to the king and
queen and shouted for more candy. Missing the second half of the
game was not a big deal. I wasted most of the first half looking
around for Dr. Nelson.

I located him after the first touch down. He
sat at an angle that made it hard for me to see him. I was glad
Cody didn’t spot him. I didn’t want another scene. The doctor
wasn’t alone but the people next to him had light hair due to
graying, not highlights.

Not that I cared.

****

I stood in front of my sister’s bathroom
mirror examining my outfit. The bar would be too warm for a
turtleneck, but I had no choice. The lump on my throat was
noticeable and I needed to cover it up.

A couple of twists and my reflection showed
that I still had enough natural lift and tuck to my body to pass as
attractive. Tight jeans that held things in the right places helped
also.

Leah popped her head into the bathroom. “You
look nice. Are you planning to meet anyone downtown?” She grinned
wickedly.

All the high school kids were getting ready
for the Saturday evening homecoming dance. The older inhabitants of
Cherryville prepared to venture out to the bars. It didn’t matter
if you drank or not. It didn’t even matter if you were ten days
into your sobriety. Everyone met downtown.

“Thank you and no, I’m not meeting anyone.
Stop asking me about him.”

I decided to wear my hair down. At first it
was in hopes of covering the side of my neck but it wasn’t going to
work. Taping my hair to my neck would have done the trick, but that
seemed a little extreme. Since my hair was down and the shirt a
little dressier I decided to put on some makeup. I felt like a
painted clown.

“You need a little eyebrow pencil and some
lipstick.” In a sisterly fashion, she didn’t even ask, she just
grabbed the appropriate tools and went to work completing my
face.

“Thanks for taking Cody tonight. I owe you
one.”

“No you don’t.” She snorted at my unruly
brows and grabbed the tweezers. “Zach wanted a sleepover anyway.
Once Rachel gets home from Amy’s, I’ll buzz down and meet Brian for
a quick beer. The little guys will be asleep by then anyway. ”

Brian was Leah’s husband and Rachel her
adorable fourteen year old daughter.

“I’m meeting Randy and the gang at Axle’s. I
think I’ll stay for a little while to see who I missed last night
but I might make it an early night.” I held still as best I could.
“The thought of an empty house and the potential of sleeping in are
just too tempting. I might start my hibernation early.”

Leah scanned me thoroughly. “So, when are you
going to get that looked at?”

“What are you talking about?” She couldn’t
possibly have known.

“The lump on your neck. Don’t play dumb with
me, Tracy. Becky Iverson had the same thing. You remember her. Her
daughter took dance with Rachel. Anyway, after she moved to
Milwaukee, we got a Christmas letter from her and she talked about
it; a nodule or something. Apparently it turned out to be
nothing.”

I wondered why on earth someone would write
such a thing in their holiday letter.

I tried my best younger sister tactic and
ignored Leah’s main point. “They moved to Milwaukee? When was
that?”

“Tracy, knock it off. I’m not falling for
that. I can see the lump on your throat, you touch it every two
minutes and you’ve lost about ten pounds.” She grabbed me by the
shoulders and shook me so I’d look her in the eye. “Sweetie, I’ll
go with you to get it removed. It’ll be okay. You can stay here to
recover if you need to. Zach will love having Cody around and I
will wait on you hand and foot.” She fluffed my hair and assaulted
me with hairspray. “This is your one and only chance ‘cause when I
retire and we’re both old and grey, I plan to be down in Arizona
playing golf and sipping margaritas by the pool.”

Crying would have wasted perfectly good make
up. I wore it so seldom I wasn’t sure I could do repair work. I’d
have to start over again. I waited a minute before responding so
the words wouldn’t push out the tears.

“Thanks.”

“Hey, what are sisters for?” She smiled at me
and pinched my cheek. “I know you’ve been in to see Dr. Nelson a
few times. Is this lump what all those visits were all about? Here
I was hoping you had some steamy romance brewing.”

“God, unbelievable! I thought patient doctor
information was supposed to be confidential!”