Healing Us: Sports Romance, A Comeback Uncovers Love (4 page)

Pool workouts with Ben turned out to be the favorite part of
Beth’s day. They developed a deep friendship in a short amount of time and
realized they had a lot in common. One of Ben’s goals that he shared with Beth
was running a marathon and they decided if it was convenient, they would run
together.

“I think that I’d need a buddy to run with for motivation.”

“If neither of us is busy after I retire we should plan it. Everyone
thinks that since I’m a track athlete then I can run long distances,” Beth said
as she did under water lunges.

“I get the same thing when I’ve never run over 10 miles. You
might have to carry me over the finish line Beth.”

“We can crawl across the finish line together and then drink
beer and eat pizza.”

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Ben grew serious.

“Ask but I won’t answer if it’s too personal.”

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend or a husband? You’re
stunning, smart and fun. This isn’t a come on and I don’t mean to embarrass you
but I just don’t get it.” Ben was quiet for a moment when he thought he knew
the answer. “You must not be into men. It all makes sense now and I can’t
believe it took me this long; you’re a lesbian!”

“Wrong Ben. I’m not a lesbian.” Beth laughed. “Sometimes I
wish I were because my luck with men has not been good. I was engaged to
someone but he cheated. I dodged that bullet and then there was Elijah. He set
me free when I moved to Utah but I think he was actually glad to see me go. You
know when you’re more into someone than they are you. It’s embarrassing and
that was the case with Elijah Maxwell.”

“Their loss is my gain – of a friend at least. I was lonely
before you came to Apex and when I found out who you were, I was sure we’d be
enemies.”

“I get that,” Beth said. “My bitchy past comes back to haunt
me sometimes. I give you credit for giving me a second chance because it would
have been easier to run. Seth would have reassigned you with no problem. I have
my roommate and acquaintances here but you’re my only true friend – you are my
friend right?”

“Your friend and your physical therapist. I don’t want you
to overdo it on your first day so let’s move over to the Jacuzzi where you can
continue telling me about the years since CCU. Tell me about the last Olympics
and what it was like standing on the podium.”

Beth climbed out of the pool and shook her head like a dog.
“It was idyllic except for the fact that my medal was the wrong color; don’t
get me wrong, I know now how fortunate I was to even be on the podium. Being a
track athlete, except for the relay is far from being a team sport. At the
games there was a sense of comradery and national pride that cannot be felt
anywhere else. It gives me goosebumps just talking about it. I left CCU early
and missed out on dorm life and frat parties so the Olympics gave me that
experience that I didn’t have.”

Beth and Ben were comfortable touching each other so she
thought nothing of it when he started massaging her shoulders. Their
relationship was evolving beyond just professional but it didn’t need to be
discussed. It was natural and inevitable like a wave on the ocean. “Were you
with your fiancé at the time?” Ben asked.

“No we had just ended our relationship. As I said, he was
unfaithful but it was because I wasn’t emotionally available or physically when
I think about it. It takes someone special to understand the intense focus of a
professional athlete. Trevor is a high school teacher and he couldn’t
understand my 24/7 schedule. He has summers off and I was never there to relax
when he had vacation or a weekend free. Enough about me and my horrible love
life; tell me about you and Lizzie.”

“I’d rather not Beth. I don’t mean to stonewall you but I’m
guarded when it comes to Lizzie.” Ben ran his hands dangerously close to Beth’s
breasts and she arched her back. “Does that tickle? Sorry.”

“No, it’s good, very good in fact.” Beth looked back at Ben,
smiled and shrugged her shoulders. Their desire was palpable but neither was
going to make the first move for fear of where it might lead. “We should towel
off before we both become prunes.”

“Good idea although I could spend hours sitting in here
talking to you. Can I walk you back to your building?” Ben chuckled. “I sound
like a teenager asking if I can walk you home from school.”

“I think it’s sweet. I’ll meet you out front after I shower
and change. The chlorine is bad for my hair and I have to rinse it off or it’ll
break off.”

“Don’t want that to happen; your hair is your crowning
glory. Can’t get that color out of a bottle and with your green eyes – well, I
won’t go there. I was trying to give you a compliment.”

Beth laughed. “I got it. See you in about 10.

Beth walked into the shower stall and breathed deeply. Ben’s
hands on her body were all she could think of and she imagined him in the
shower beside her. He would kiss her neck leading down to her breasts and
beyond. Beth pictured him kissing his way back up to her mouth and pinning her
against the tile wall. She began to stroke herself as the thoughts of Ben
intensified to the point of no return. Beth was alone in the shower with
fantasies of Ben so real that she forgot he wasn’t pressed hard against her.
She returned to reality when the water went cold and she heard Ben pounding on
the bathroom door.

“Are you O.K. in there Beth. It’s been 20 minutes and
they’re getting ready to lock the facility for the night.” Ben said from behind
the door.

“Be right there. I received a cellphone call and lost track
of time.” Beth regained her composure and pulled on her yoga pants and a green
t-shirt. She walked out to find Ben waiting.

“It’s no myth that women take forever to get ready. Can I
use your phone because I have to confirm an appointment for tomorrow? I must
have left mine in my car.”

“I left my phone in my room this morning,” Beth said without
thinking.

“I thought you said that you got a call.” Ben looked
confused.

“Oh, I do have it but the battery died.” Beth blushed as she
lied. With her fair skin, it was easy to tell when she wasn’t telling the truth
because she turned red.

Ben shook his head and grinned as he walked her home.

Beth was up early for her appointment with Dr. Walsh, who
was the sports psychologist that she was required to see. Amy Walsh was a
middle aged woman who had won a gold medal in volley ball for the United states
in the 1980’s. Beth had seen her five times and with only days away from her
departure to Oslo, Beth felt she needed a final check-in. Seeing Dr. Walsh had
been one of the best things about Apex and Beth looked forward to seeing her
almost as much as she did Ben. Beth marched up the stone steps to Dr. Walsh’s
office that had one of the best views in the complex. It was a corner office
with a panoramic view of the snowcapped mountains and lush valleys of Utah. It
didn’t take long to figure out that Amy Walsh was one of the founding members
of Apex that believed no athlete could perform without a healthy mind to go
along with a superb body. It was that philosophy that made Apex one of the best
sports training facilities in the world. Beth walked through Dr. Walsh’s open
door and sat on one of the cushy chairs. To Beth’s surprise, there was no couch
in the office as there always was in TV and movies.

“Hello Beth.” Dr. Walsh came into the office and caught Beth
in a daydream. “I realize that you’re getting ready for the trials and I was
expecting you to cancel.”

“No way. I wish I could take you with me,” Beth said.

“No.” Dr. Walsh laughed. “You’re ready to be kicked out of
the nest. I’m proud of you Beth because when you came in here for the first
time you were scattered. Worried about Seth’s management style, your hyper
roommate and missing Johnathan and Elijah.”

“I’m good with all of that and they’re not obstacles in the
way towards success any longer. The Ben issue is still causing me to scratch my
head. We’ve become friends and the flirting exists but he has Lizzie and that’s
still an issue. There are times when we come close to stepping out of the
friend zone, but we know the timing is horrible.”

“We talked about Ben and Lizzie. You can’t think of her as
an obstacle that you can conquer. Their relationship exists and there are no
ways around it. I still think that you should meet Lizzie so you’ll know she’s
real and then you can be happy for Ben and stop being an obstacle in the way of
his happiness. Put yourself in her shoes Beth or think of how you felt when
Trevor cheated on you. Ben’s not someone to step out of a committed
relationship and that’s a part of why you admire him.”

“If I had not been a bitch in college and taken the time to
know Ben, then I wouldn’t be in this mess. He was available and had a crush on
me. I’d be so happy now if I was with Ben.”

“You can’t live your life second guessing your past actions.
That ship has sailed Beth and there’s not a thing you can do about it. I think
you should meet Ben’s mystery woman because she has to be amazing to make your
friend smile the way you described.”

“I agree Dr. Walsh because I’m doing the team a disservice
by pining over an unavailable man. I’m meeting Ben after this which presents a
good time to talk to him. We both have the afternoon off and we’re going for a
hike. I can’t believe I’ve been surrounded by all of this beauty and I’ve never
had the chance to enjoy it.”

“I’ll be rooting for you Beth and I hope to see you after
the trials because that will mean you’ve made the Olympic team.”

“Not making the team is not an option so I will see you
again and I’ll tell you what happened with Ben. I always feel 10lbs. lighter
when I leave here; thank you Amy.

Beth crossed the Apex campus to pick up her things for the
hike. She picked up some healthy snacks for lunch and cheated a little by bring
chocolate chip cookies. She walked into the room and found Heather passed out
on the couch. She was fully clothed and looked as if she was taking an
impromptu nap but she wasn’t waking easily. Beth touched her bare feet to try
and wake Heather up. She shook until her suitemate jumped off the couch.

“Shit Beth, you scared the heck out of me. This schedule has
me running on empty and I thought I’d steal of few winks.” As Heather spoke she
hurried to throw socks on her feet but it was too late. Beth saw marks between
Heather’s toes and they looked like injection sites.

“I was here to pick up some things before meeting Ben and I
shouldn’t have disturbed you. Maybe those herbs and natural supplements that
you’re always taking will give you energy.” Beth was hesitant to ask about the
marks but she was curious. “You are still taking that stuff right?”

“Yes,” Heather snapped. “I’m still taking them and they’re
not performance enhancing drugs (PED).”

“I know that Heather because if you were taking PED’s you
could put the entire team in jeopardy and you would never do that.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Heather said in a raised voice. “Especially
since I was chosen to anchor the relay team – a position you coveted. The other
three girls are like sisters to me and I’d never ruin their chances for a
medal. I don’t need any help bringing home gold and all of the coaches know it.
I’ve even been approached for endorsements after the games because they’re all
convinced that I’ll be a star. Gracing cereal boxes and being in cosmetics ads
will line my pockets for the future. Too bad you were injured because if you
hadn’t been, you could join me in the spotlight. I heard Seth talking about
your slim chances of even making the team.”

“I feel as though you’re trying to start something here
Heather. I’m not jealous of you because this is a team and I want us to bring
home as many medals as possible. Something is going on with you Heather because
you’re paranoid and in full attack mode. I think you do need a rest. I’ll be
gone for the rest of the afternoon so why don’t you put your phone in a drawer
on silent and relax.”

“Whatever, have fun with lover boy. You follow him around
like a schoolgirl with a crush and the sad thing is that he has a girlfriend.”

Beth chose not to respond to Heather’s last comment because
she didn’t want to be late. Heather was off her rocker and she didn’t have
enough head space to deal with her.

Beth saw Ben in the distance when she approached the field
where they were supposed to meet. He was wearing khaki cargo shorts and a faded
blue t-shirt. His hair was long enough to blow in the breeze which was ethereal
against the backdrop of the periwinkle sky.

“You look relaxed sitting here in the sunshine,” Beth
greeted him with a pat on the back.

“I’m looking forward to today because so much of our time is
spent at work. This will be the first time we are stepping off the Apex campus
together. I smell cookies which I hope are packed away in your bag waiting to
be devoured. It’s a little like a first date.”

“A little like that Ben but it’s not. We’ve managed to
create a friendship and that’s the way it’ll stay. We’ve stayed away from
talking about Lizzie in depth but she’s right for you because when you mention
her you light up.”

They walked to Ben’s car and drove to the trail head where
they got out of the car to begin their three-mile hike. Beth mentioned Lizzie
and Ben turned quiet and refused to even comment about what Beth said. It was
different from other times they had been together and Beth knew he had
something important to tell her.

“Finally, we have complete privacy,” Ben said.

“That sounds creepy. What do you plan to do with this
privacy?”

Ben chuckled. “Don’t worry Beth, I have no plans to rape or
murder you.”

“That’s a relief.” Beth laughed.

“Beth, I haven’t been completely honest with you. It was
more a lie of omission rather than a lie. We started to become friends and I
think we would have taken things further if not for Lizzie.”

“Stop right there Ben.” Beth said and threw up her hand. “I
will not come between you and Lizzie.”

“Lizzie’s five years old Beth.”

Beth nearly fell off the log she was sitting on. “You have a
daughter. I can’t wait to hear if there’s a wife in the scenario.”

“Lizzie Knight is my niece who has no father that I know of
and her mother is in prison for 15-20 years. I didn’t lie about her being the
love of my life and being away from her is painful. I’m her legal guardian and
she’ll probably never see my sister Jean again.”

“What the hell are you doing here in Utah, Ben?”

“I came to work for Seth until he got the new athletes
settled in but then you came along and I couldn’t leave. I don’t tell anyone
about Lizzie because that would lead to stories about Jean, which I try to
avoid.”

“Ben, I wish you had told me. What’s up with your sister?”

“She’s a meth addict and an alcoholic. She’s in for armed
robbery and kidnapping because she carjacked a woman. Jean didn’t kill he but
she roughed her up badly. I haven’t done an illegal drug in my life and I don’t
want to be associated with that scene. It’s why I don’t tell anyone the truth.”

“Ben, you’re a kind man and Lizzie’s a lucky girl. This
unfortunately doesn’t open the door for us but it seals it shut. I said I
wouldn’t come between you and Lizzie and that’s exactly what I’m doing. This is
a really messed up situation and I can’t have this in my life right now.” Beth
teared up. “We have to end this before it gets any messier than it already is.”

“I shouldn’t have told you, Next year all of this will be
over and the Olympics will be behind us. I can pick up parenting Lizzie after I
stay with you through the Olympics,”

“No. A year in a little girl’s life is too much. She’s been
through enough and you have to go be with her,” Beth insisted.

Emotions between Ben and Beth were running high and they
started to hold each other. They were grieving for the loss of something that
could have been beautiful under different circumstances. Each was sad and
confused and they were swept away as Ben started to unbutton Beth’s blouse. She
didn’t resist but guided his hand to her breast. He unhooked her pink lace bra
and dropped it to the ground. Ben had touched Beth’s body before but this was
different as he was gentle but deliberate as he traced the nipple of her supple
breast. His blue eyes focused on her green eyes and she nodded her head because
there was no stopping what they started. Beth battled her desires and
eventually moved back from Ben.

“We can’t start down this road Ben and you know it. Over the
past month or so, I have come to know you have a big heart and now I know the
truth that it’s even bigger than imagined.” Beth pulled on her bra and shirt.
“Lizzie lost her mother and you have to go back to Colorado and be with her. I
have to continue on to Oslo and take the next step in my comeback.”

Ben pulled Beth in for an embrace and they rocked back and
forth on the log. “You’re telling me to go, which only intensifies my feelings.
Your strength of character blows me away Beth and I wish there was another
option.”

“There’s not right now Ben but I’ll be back in Utah after I
make the Olympic team and then I can visit in Colorado. Who knows what will
happen after the games for us. I want to meet Lizzie now more than ever so I
can see what the girl is like who stole your heart. Stopping what almost
happened between us today was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done because
your hands on my body feel amazing. I felt your touch professionally but this
was on another level that I can’t begin to describe.”

“Seth will assign you a new therapist and I hope it’s a
woman. I can’t take the thought of another man having his hands on your body,”
Ben said as he caressed her velvet skin.

Beth smiled. “I think a woman would be a wise choice because
I’ve fallen for my therapist before.” Beth tangled her hands in her red hair
and blushed. “I think back and he was nothing compared to you Ben.”

“You little tramp – a man gives you a rubdown and you fall
for him.” Ben joked and Beth kiddingly punched his arm.

They walked back to the car hand in hand. Beth remembered
what Dr. Walsh said and she wasn’t going to be an obstacle for Lizzie’s
happiness. A sacrifice on her part was worth it in the long run. She told Ben
what was happening with Heather Morgan and he warned her to stay out of the
drama. Ben suspected drugs were somehow involved because of Heather’s erratic
behavior and predicted she would get caught eventually. Random testing
intensified when the games got closer and test were more accurate each year.
Ben and Beth talked and laughed on the way back to campus. They would be going
their separate ways but each of them knew the dust would settle eventually and
if the stars aligned, they would be together again. They were happy because the
both felt as if the sensible choice had been made and they had both grown a
great deal since CCU.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Beth because I still have to talk to
Seth so I’ll be around.”

“How do you think he’ll take the news that you’re leaving?”
Beth asked.

“For all his faults, Seth understands family. I’ve already
done him a favor my staying this long. I’ll recommend that you have a single in
Oslo.”

“Yeah, I think living with Heather will be a drawback.”

Ben walked Beth to her building and gave her a sweet kiss
goodnight. When Beth had almost walked into the building Ben called out. “I’m
falling in love with you Beth Barker. Think about it because I’m sure you feel
the same way.”

Beth was about to speak but Ben put up his hand, smiled and
walked away.