Heart Matters (6 page)

“Yes. When do I see you again?”

“In a couple of weeks hopefully. I’m off to
Europe next week. I’ll probably be there for a while.” As if he
couldn’t resist one last jibe, he added, “Don’t tell me about you
and Adam over the phone all right? I want to be around to knock
some sense into your head when you decide on that guy.”

She stuck her tongue out at his laughing
face. “I have already decided, Jefferson James Cantrell, he’s as
good as your brother-in-law.” She smiled hearing his laughter all
the way down the boutique. She stood at her window and blew him a
kiss when he turned to wave at her one last time.

With Jeff gone, Jessica felt her somber mood
returning. She ran her fingers through her unruly hair that reached
mid way down her back and drew in a deep breath. “Oh, no, Jessica
Cantrell! You will not lapse back into melancholy. You have work to
do!”

A silent prayer left her lips. Jeff might be
an overbearing big brother but this time his words of advice had
come as a blessing from above. Going into a partnership meant she
didn’t have to marry Adam right away. It would give them more time
to take explore their relationship before taking the plunge. It
would especially keep her from feeling guilty about using Adam for
‘Jess-C Creations’.

She buzzed for her secretary on the
intercom. When Ruth appeared she gave her quick orders. “Ruth,
please call up ‘Hart Inc’ and get me an appointment with Steven
Hart. Get them to squeeze me in as soon as possible, will you? It’s
an emergency.”

“What do I say if they ask what it’s all
about?”

Jessica smiled mysteriously. “Tell them
‘Jess-C Creations’ has a business proposal for them.”

Ruth’s eyes widened at first then
comprehension dawned upon her. She almost leapt out of the cabin
and ten minutes later, the intercom on Jessica’s table buzzed.
“Yes, Ruth?”

“Tomorrow, ten o’clock on the dot at their
South Gate regional offices. I’ll text you the address,” Ruth
announced triumphantly.

A quiver of excitement ran down Jessica’s
spine. “Good going, Ruth, I will not ask how you managed that
miracle! Now do me another favor. Get me our sales and growth
records from year one. You might have to sit back late tonight, is
that okay with you?”

“Of course,” Ruth answered loyally.

“All right, then, get on it. And ask Lynn to
come up here, will you?”

By late evening, having discussed her plans
with Lynn, she tucked a precious folder under her arm and headed
home.

Tomorrow was an important day for ‘Jess-C
Creations’ and she hoped to be well prepared to meet all the
queries put across to her. It wasn’t easy to convince one of the
shrewdest businessmen in the country that you and your company were
worth a great deal. But she had to take up the challenge. This
could be very well her last hope of salvation and she intended to
make Steven Hart her savior.

A strange sensation crept through the realms
of Jessica’s subconscious mind and she awoke with a start. Her eyes
flew open as her mouth was claimed in a deep kiss. She wrenched her
mouth away gasping. “Adam! You scared me! When did you get in from
New York?”

“Not long ago,” Adam murmured nuzzling at
her throat. “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was until someone tried to ravish me,”
she replied, her hands pressing on his shoulders to hold him back.
He tried to kiss her again but she was already sitting up. She
flicked on the lamp by her bedside, flinching as the bright light
lit the room. She looked at the alarm clock on the side table and
groaned. “Adam, it’s 3 a.m.!”

Light hazel eyes grinned back at her even as
Adam reached out for her. “Perfect time for making love. C’mere,
sexy.” He tried pushing her back on the bed but she resisted.

“Adam, no!”

“I can’t take no for an answer, sweetheart,
not tonight,” he whispered hoarsely, claiming her mouth in a hungry
kiss. His fingers reached for the strings holding her flimsy
nightdress and she felt them fall apart.

Jessica panicked, tearing her mouth away.
“Adam, stop it! I don’t…”

He didn’t stop. His hands reached to cup her
breasts while his mouth sought the hollow between them. Jessica
went stiff with shock. This was what Jake had done. He had forced
himself on her and left her with memories that ran deeper than any
scar ever could.

“No!” she screamed out aloud twisting
desperately out of Adam’s arms.

Adam released her abruptly and pushed away.
He strode to the window breathing deeply trying to regain his
composure. When he was finally sure of himself, his cold eyes
turned upon her shaking form. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why
does it have to be like this every time? Why, Jessi?” he roared,
“Why?”

Jessica winced at his words. “I told you I
need time,” she said shakily, “You know how I ..feel about it.”

“
It
stands for
sex
, damn it!”
he bellowed coming back to grab her by her shoulders and shake her
roughly. “
It
happens between every healthy male and female
of all species!”

Jessica squirmed under his punishing grasp.
“You’re hurting me, Adam. Please!” she beseeched him and his hold
softened suddenly.

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking her in his arms
to bury his face in her tresses. “Oh, Jessi, if only you realized
how damned gorgeous you are! When will you trust me darling? I
won’t hurt you.”

The softness in his voice calmed Jessica.
She raised her ashen face to him, begging him with her eyes. “Adam,
I know I’m testing your patience but please understand; I need more
time.” She placed her palm on his cheek and brushed her lips
lightly across his. “Besides we’ll be married soon and then things
will work out.”

A mirthless smile touched Adam’s boyishly,
handsome features. “I sure hope so!”

She hung her head to hide the feeling of
uncertainty that suddenly hit her like a wave. What if even after
their marriage she continued to have this aversion to giving
herself up physically to Adam? She shrugged the worrisome thought
away. “This won’t happen once we’re married. I promise. I won’t
push you away.”

“Oh, all right!” He rose impatiently and
strode out of her bedroom. As an afterthought he turned with a key
in his hand. “I guess you had better keep this with you. I’m not
sure I can trust myself anymore.”

Jessica rose tying the strings of her
nightdress and drew on her night gown. “Please keep it, Adam.
I
trust you.” As if to confirm her statement she moved up to
him and tip toed to kiss his mouth. “I love you, Adam, you know
that don’t you?”

He regarded her with uncertain eyes before
letting out a small laugh. “Yea, babes, I know you love me.” He
dropped a chaste kiss on her lips before pushing her back gently.
“Now get back in bed before I change my mind.”

She laughed at his jest but all the same
headed for her bed to draw the cool sheets over her. “Good night,”
she whispered, “And thank you.”

He said nothing but left the apartment
immediately. Jessica waited till the sound of his footsteps faded.
Then she got out of bed and placed a safety lock on the front door.
She felt a bit guilty doing it but she couldn’t help it.

She had known Adam Warring for almost six
months now and she knew he was very passionate by nature. She also
knew that his kind of passion terrified her but she loved him. They
had met at a fashion show that was organized by the company Adam
was working for. He was their publicity manager and when he showed
a personal interest in her she wasn’t surprised. They had dated
regularly ever since but Adam had not pushed her for physical
intimacy. She had told him her apprehensions and apart from an
intimate kiss now and then, he had kept his distance. Even after
she had given him the key to her house, Adam had proven he was
trustworthy.

That's why tonight he had scared her. She
had never imagined he would lose his self-control and try to force
her into lovemaking. An uneasy thought crept up her mind. Was it
all her fault? Was she driving Adam a bit too far? She was aware
most women she knew gave in easily to their sexual urges but she
couldn’t do the same. Maybe she really was “a frigid lass out of
the Puritan age” as one of her dates in Paris had accused her. If
it were true then obviously Adam would be frustrated.

Jessica sat on her bed drawing her knees
close to her chest. She couldn’t help the way she felt about
physical intimacy. Almost eight years had passed since that
unfortunate evening with Jake Wallace and the memory still sent
shudders down her spine. There were several nights when she would
wake up screaming because of nightmares of Jake raping her and then
visions of Mark’s lovemaking would surface and soothe her back to
sleep.

Strangely, it was almost as if it wasn’t
Jake’s memory that trapped her but Mark’s. If she closed her eyes,
she could still feel him around her. She could feel his lips on her
skin, his strong arms enveloping her in a warm embrace, his heady,
male fragrance all but drowning her. And she could feel him in her,
loving her as a man really should. It was this lingering memory
that she held on to and it was something she couldn’t part with. Or
rather
didn’t
want to part with.

Her aversion to physical contact with men
was a wall she wasn’t sure she could ever scale. She had not
allowed any man to come near her after Mark and though she had
several male friends over the years, no one had succeeded beyond a
few kisses.

Adam had been different from the start. He
was fun to be with and patient with her. He did manage to get a
placid response from her for his kisses but the ice had still not
thawed. She respected him for his understanding and that’s why when
he had asked her to marry him, the decision had been easy.

A weary sigh escaped her lips and she lay
down after switching off the lights. Adam was undeniably very good
looking and attractive but somehow his kisses had never really
excited her. Perhaps that’s why she had managed to keep her
distance for so long. Soon, she would be his wife and she prayed
desperately she could give him what he expected.

***

The shrill ring of the landline phone
sounded right next to Jessica’s ear and had her groping for it in
her sleep. “Yes?” she croaked, rubbing her eyes with one hand.

“Jessi, it’s Lynn. Your cell was switched
off. I thought I’d find you home,” her friend’s agitated voice came
over the line.

“Ly..Lynn, what’s up?” she yawned
lazily.

“What’s up?” Lynn shrieked in her ear, “It’s
past nine! You’re due at ‘Hart Inc.’ in fifty minutes!”

Jessica was out of bed even as a hysterical
Lynn carried on frantically. “My alarm got jammed, Lynn. For
heaven’s sake get off the line and call them. Tell them I’ll be a
few minutes late.” She banged the receiver and headed for the
bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, she was speeding her car
dangerously on the Santa Monica Freeway towards South Gate. When
she reached the ‘Hart Inc.’ regional premises, a good forty-five
minutes later thanks to the rush hour traffic, she was told Steven
Hart had already left the premises to keep another appointment.

Jessica came out bristling with anger. She was
ten
minutes late.
Ten
minutes and he had already
left! He had received Lynn’s message asking him to grant her some
concession but his secretary had told her that
Mr.
Hart had
a very busy schedule. He had granted the appointment slot to
someone else, somewhere else. And, he wasn’t available the next
day, or the day after and then he was flying out of town for a
fortnight.

Arrogant, conceited pig! Jessica thought
maliciously. Couldn’t he wait just a few minutes? So what if he
wasn’t obliged to see her? Couldn’t he guess how important this
was?

It was your fault, Jessica, she reminded herself
sternly. And partially Adam’s. If he had not disturbed her in the
middle of the night she could easily have got up in time. The
justification made sense and she wriggled her shoulders to shake
off the last bits of her anger.

The bright sunshine lent a warm glow to her
pretty face making quite a few heads turn appreciatively. It also
sobered her reasonably and she glanced at her watch. There was no
point fretting and fuming over a situation that was out of her
control. It was a pleasant day and she was not really needed at the
boutique. She reached for her cell phone and switched it off with a
satisfied smile on her face. She wanted to speak to no one today,
not even Adam.

Today she would do what she had not done in
a long time. Take a day off. If there was something she liked about
L.A. it was the fact that it had a lot of places she could visit to
relax her mind and ease her worries. She could easily lose herself
in the crowd and shrug off the ‘heiress’ label that followed her
around. Even the snoopiest of reporters wouldn’t imagine finding
the
Jessica Cantrell at the Museum of Jurassic Technology
now would they? Not that any reporter ever followed her. Her life
as an heiress was about as exciting as that of a librarian. With
nothing to write about, the media usually simply ignored her. And
she liked to have it that way.

She got into her car humming cheerfully. She had
heard the museum was good and worth a visit. With Cheryl and the
kids due to shift into the neighborhood, she could always check out
the place and take the kids there some time. With that thought, she
drove easily through the traffic, happy and content.

That evening Jessica chose a simple but chic
dress for her dinner with Adam. He had called her at home when she
reached it after her day’s excursion and yelled his lungs out for
her day’s whereabouts. She told him, smiling indulgently, aware
that his concern was bordering on the edge of suspicion. But he had
accepted her explanation rather well and asked her out to give her
a surprise. The thought that Adam had probably bought her an
engagement ring warmed her and she took care to dress up right.