Heart Of A Cowboy (17 page)

Both!
She'd been the only caregiver for ten years and now all of sudden she was supposed to consult and share the decisions with Zachary. Acid burned her stomach. She skirted Zachary and marched back to the table. “If your dad thinks it's safe, then I'll—”

Nicholas threw his arms around her neck. “Thanks.” Then he raced toward the field where the others were.

When Zachary approached, she muttered, “I've been manipulated,” then strode toward a group cleaning up the eating area.

 

As Jordan stormed away, disconcerted, Zachary took his cowboy hat and dusted it off against his jeans, his hand clutching the Stetson. Everything had gone well today. Nicholas hadn't had a problem in any of his competitions, and yet Jordan insisted on being overprotective. She needed to back off, and he was going to make sure she realized that. He owed it to his son.

Then he thought of why Jordan was so protective of Nicholas. She'd had to face almost losing him—alone. He'd wished he'd been there to help her through the ordeal. Hold her. Comfort her.

The commotion of the teams preparing to play in the field drew his attention. Even though he understood where she was coming from, she still had to realize he was Nicholas's dad and had an equal say now in how their son was raised.

The participants of the touch football game formed their teams and lined up. Zachary stood against the fence, not far from the sideline they had marked with long links of rope. Two barrels at the ends of the pasture were the goal posts. Some of the parents, including Jordan, came to watch the impromptu scrimmage. She stood next to Becca several yards away from him and stared straight ahead. Her features formed a neutral expression, but even from this distance he felt her frustration and anger conveyed by the crossed arms and legs.

For the first fifteen minutes Nicholas hung back, not going after the person with the ball. Then suddenly one of the opposing players caught the ball near his son. He dashed after the thirteen-year-old and touched his arm. Nicholas jumped up and down. Randy came over and gave him a high five. His son's grin encompassed his whole face.

From that point on Nicholas became more involved. Several times he went after the ball carrier and once more tagged him. He was becoming more confident the more he did. First with riding, then roping. And now playing team sports like soccer and football. Zachary felt as if he'd accomplished something with his son—showed him how to play.

During the half his son ran over to him and took the bottle of water he handed him. “I'm not so bad.”

“No, you're quick on your feet. You're doing good.”

Nicholas made himself as tall as he could and raised his chin. “Mom worries too much.”

“That's a mother's job.” Although he had to agree with his son.

Nicholas glanced behind him. “Gotta go. We're starting the second half.”

Zachary chuckled to himself. A month ago his son knew nothing about football until he watched some videos and read about it prior to the homecoming game.

The time flew by. The dad refereeing the game indicated a minute left. Nicholas's team had the ball and the quarterback stepped back to throw it. His intended receiver was delayed and Nicholas jumped up and caught the ball. When he came down with it clasped to him, he wobbled and paused to steady himself. An opposing team member running full force toward him noticed the delay and tried to stop. Instead he bowled right over Nicholas, flattened him on the ground. The ball shot up in the air. Someone snatched it and ran for a touchdown.

Nicholas remained down, not moving. Zachary's heartbeat accelerated as he jogged toward his son, Jordan a couple of feet in front of him. She knelt next to their son, Nicholas's chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Don't move.” Her hands ran over his body. “Where does it hurt?”

“I'm fine,” Nicholas said in a breathless voice, dragging air into his lungs.

“You don't sound fine.”

Their son pushed his upper body to a sitting position. “Just winded. Did we get a touchdown?” Nicholas looked beyond Jordan to Zachary.

He stepped forward and knelt next to her. “Yes.”

Nicholas grinned. “We won, Mom!”

“It's time for us to go home.” Jordan put her arm around Nicholas's shoulders and helped him up.

“But I want to spend the night with Dad.”

“Not tonight.”

“Partner, why don't you go say goodbye to everyone.”

“But, Dad—”

Zachary tossed his head toward the barn. “Your mom and I have something to discuss.”

Nicholas heaved a sigh then trudged off the field toward his teammates near the fence celebrating their victory.

When their son was out of earshot, Zachary rounded on Jordan. “Why isn't he staying tonight? He's fine. Nothing happened to him.”

“We don't know that for sure. He could have a mild concussion. I'm gonna keep an eye on him. If anything is wrong, I'm near the hospital. This isn't up for discussion.” She pinched her lips together and narrowed her eyes.

“Yes, it is. He's my son, too.”

“I've been his primary caregiver and that isn't gonna change.”

He squeezed his hands shut then flexed them. He moved into her personal space, his face close to hers. “That's because you kept him a secret.” He schooled his voice to
an even level while inside anger boiled. He had so much time to make up, and she was standing in the way.

“There's nothing I can do to change the past and I'm tired of trying.”

When she started to skirt him, he impeded her progress. “Do I have to speak to a lawyer about my rights as Nicholas's dad?”

The threat, unplanned, tumbled from his mouth, and the second she heard it, color drained from her face. Her pupils grew huge. One part of him wanted to take the words back. Another meant everything he said. Nicholas would be his only child and he intended to participate fully in his life.

Jordan froze for a few seconds then she backed away, her mouth hanging open, her eyes round. Whirling around, she fled across the field, grabbed their son and made her way toward her Camaro.

What have I done?
He buried his face in his hands and kneaded his fingertips into his forehead.

Becca closed the distance between them. “What's going on? Jordan and Nicholas are leaving.” She nodded toward them getting into the car. “What did you say to her?”

“I asked if I should contact a lawyer concerning my rights as Nicholas's father.”

His sister drew in a sharp breath. “You didn't? Why did you say that? You two can work things out without bringing lawyers into it. How do you think Nicholas will feel?”

“This never should have been an issue. I should have known from the beginning. I could have married her. Nicholas would have had both a mother and father.”

“Then do it now.”

He stared at Jordan and Nicholas, his son's face set in a pout, her expression anger filled. “It's too late for us.”

“Because you can't forgive her.”

“I'm trying,” he said, instead of explaining his turmoil over not being able to give her another child.

“Not hard enough.”

Jordan backed up her car, then headed down the gravel road.

“Go after her. Don't leave it like that.”

 

A lawyer! Zachary wants to get custody of Nicholas.
All hope of them ever working something out vanished when she heard those words. There was nothing she could do to earn his forgiveness, to make him understand all she wanted was for him and Nicholas to be her family. She didn't care if he couldn't have any more children.

“Mom, why are we leaving? I want to stay.” Nicholas clicked on his seat belt.

Fury jammed Jordan's throat and something she wished she didn't feel—the pain of loss. She drove toward the entrance to the ranch, tears stinging her eyes. “It was time to go. You hit the ground pretty hard. If you get a headache, become nauseated or dizzy, let me know immediately.”

“I don't have a concussion. I'm fine.”

Lord, I just want my old life back. At least I knew what to expect. I don't want to lose my son. I know I've made mistakes, but why couldn't Zachary, Nicholas and I be a family?

She pulled onto the highway. “Hon, you've been gone a lot lately. Nana and Granny have missed you. I missed you.”

Nicholas remained quiet. Jordan slanted a look at him. A pout thinned his lips, his arms folded over his chest.

She'd get home and talk to Rachel. She just needed to get things back under her control.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something large and brown, moving fast, crossing the road only yards in front of her. A deer?

 

Zachary jumped in his truck and started out after Jordan. He shouldn't have said what he had about the lawyer. He might be angry with her, but that was hitting below the belt, and she didn't deserve it. She'd been a good mother to Nicholas.

He pressed down on the accelerator to catch up with her. Up ahead he spied her Camaro.

Then he saw the deer leap onto the highway right in front of Jordan's car. She swerved to avoid the animal and plowed off the road. Her vehicle bounced across the rough terrain and plunged into a ditch near the field, a tree stopping her forward motion. The medium-size oak swayed under the impact. His heartbeat stalled for a few seconds as his gaze fastened onto her car, the front end smashed against the trunk.

With his pulse thundering in his ears, he sped until he reached the place where Jordan went off the road. He slammed on his breaks and jumped from his truck. He raced toward the wreck. His pulse racing even faster than he was.

Lord, let them be alive. It can't end this way.

Reaching the rear bumper, he climbed into the ditch on the driver's side, nearest him. A gray cloud bellowed from the scrunched hood. He peered inside. Her head lay against the deflated airbag and steering wheel. He jerked on the door. He couldn't budge it.

Back up the ditch, he made his way to the other side and tried to get in. A fine powder floated inside the car. Nicholas, held up by his seat belt, sagged against the window, a
spiderweb of cracks spreading out from the contact with his head. Blood ran down his face.

Panting, trying desperately to suppress the panic churning in his gut, Zachary yanked with all his strength on the handle. For a few seconds nothing happened. Then the door creaked open half a foot. He wedged his arm through the crack and pried it open farther.

“Nicholas. Jordan.” His voice shook as much as his body did.

Jordan moaned and looked toward him. Blinking, she raised her head and reached toward their son. “No. Nicholas.”

He stirred, his eyelids lifting partway. “Mom?” He tried to move and collapsed back.

“Stay still, son. I'm calling 911.” Zachary dug for his cell and clenched it to keep the trembling in his hands from showing. After he reported the accident, he turned back to Jordan and his son. “Help is on the way.”

“My leg hurts.” Tears filled Nicholas's eyes and spilled over onto his cheeks, mingling with the blood.

Zachary inspected his son and noticed his left leg was pinned by the dashboard. Kneeling next to Nicholas, he took his hand. “You'll be all right. Just don't move.”

Jordan tried her door. When she couldn't budge it, she twisted back toward Zachary. “I'm stuck.”

The fright on her pale face, in her voice, tore at his composure. She tried to unhook her seat belt but couldn't. She shoved again at the door but it remained shut. When she looked at him, her panic drove the terror away.

“Easy, Jordan. The paramedics will be here soon.” He stood and stared down the stretch of highway then stooped again. “I hear a siren. Five minutes tops.”
Hurry. I can't lose them.

“I need to help my son. I couldn't stop. I couldn't
avoid…” Her words faded into the quiet. She placed her hand on Nicholas's arm closest to her as though she could will her strength into him.

His own helplessness inundated Zachary. He rose again and watched for the ambulance. Flashing lights and the sound of the siren grew closer. The pounding of his heart nearly drowned out the approaching emergency vehicles. He'd never been so afraid in his life—even when the bull had crushed him.

“Everything is going to be okay,” he murmured as much to reassure himself as Nicholas and Jordan.

 

Hours later, Jordan sat in the waiting room surrounded by family, Granny on one side and Rachel on the other. Her mother was nearby talking with Zachary and Becca, their voices too low to hear what they were saying.

Nicholas had just been taken into surgery to repair his broken leg. The scent of antiseptic knotted her stomach so tight bile clogged her throat. The sterile room, painted a light green, reminded her of the one in South Carolina. She'd almost lost her son then. This time he would be all right, but the feeling of being out of control bombarded her from all sides.

She leaped to her feet. She couldn't sit here any longer.

“Where are you going, honey?” her mother asked.

Glancing over her shoulder, Jordan locked gazes with Zachary for a few seconds before looking at her mom. “Out of here.”

Zachary rose, concern in his expression. “I'll come with you.”

“No!” She fled the room, tears shadowing her vision as she hurried down the hall toward she wasn't sure where.

The last thing she needed was Zachary to be kind to
her, to say anything to her. Since the paramedics and highway patrol arrived on the scene of the wreck, everything happened in a blur as if she were watching it from afar. Separate. A spectator.

She wanted her old life back before she'd come to Tallgrass. Since her arrival home, nothing had been the same. Every day there was something new to deal with. She didn't know what to expect anymore—except that Zachary didn't really want to have anything to do with her. Only Nicholas.