Heart of Danger (5 page)

‘But do they appreciate you, Marba?’ Pel asked, laughter in her voice. ‘Do they understand that they need a leader?’

As he always did, he gave the question serious consideration. ‘I think I don’t understand them. I’ve decided to say nothing for a while and just try to learn how life is organised here. It’s so different.’

It was good to talk to them. I wished I could talk to Silvern about Ivor, but it didn’t seem fair, not when she was missing Paz so sorely. Neither of them said anything, but the rest of us could tell easily enough: she was sharp with her words and Paz was quieter than usual.

 

On Monday, Ivor and I walked back from school as usual. When we were halfway home he said, ‘Just let anybody try hurting Hera when I’m around. They’ll soon wish they hadn’t.’

I almost tripped over my feet I was so grateful he’d decided to help. ‘Thank you.’

He gave me The Smile, stopped me by holding my shoulders, dropped a kiss on my forehead and let me go. He started walking again as if nothing had happened, as if the touch of my skin against his lips hadn’t sent shocks ricocheting off every one of his nerve endings the way it was doing to mine. I stood where I was as my whole world tilted, spinning in dizzy colour around me. Had it meant nothing to him?

He turned back. ‘Hey, come on, Jay. One foot after the other. That’s the way it’s done.’

I screwed my eyes tight shut, gave my head a shake, took the deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. I thought he’d take my hand – he’d
kissed
me. But all he did was walk beside me at the same respectful distance. He talked, but I was too dazed to understand a thing.

I can’t remember arriving home. All I know is I slid off to Danyat’s caravan to be by myself to try to make sense of it all. I seemed to remember he’d called me Jay. I smiled. He would be the only one I’d let call me by that name.

I jumped up and checked my forehead in Danyat’s mirror. Dumb, but I wanted to be sure there was no actual mark, because I could still feel the burning shock of his lips. If he was indeed courting me, then the next step, being logical about it, would be to hold my hand. I hugged myself, all my doubts gone. Now I understood Vima’s love for Jov. She’d said it was glorious. Yep, that would be right.

Ivor didn’t hold my hand the next day, or on Wednesday or on Thursday. He didn’t mention kissing me and he kept his distance, and I had to face the fact that it hadn’t meant anything. I wanted to cry.

On Friday I was quiet as we walked home, at least twenty centimetres of respectful space between us. I was angry, but we’d turn a corner and I was sad; another corner, and I was back to furious, then depressed. He must have been able to sense the maelstrom of confusion raging around me.

‘Earth to Jay! Come in please!’ He was smiling at me.

‘What?’ No way was I going to smile back.

‘I said, when does your dad get here? You must miss him.’

It was a kind question, sensitive, so I managed to be civil. ‘Maybe a month yet. It’s such a long time.’

Ivor gave a dramatic shiver. ‘I’m terrified! I can just see him chasing me with a shovel.
Leave my daughter alone!
That’s what he’ll be yelling.’

I gave him a cool look. ‘Why would he? You’re just a friend. Like Oban. My father doesn’t object to me having friends.’

He stopped dead and swung around, grabbing my hands in a strong grip. ‘Is that what you think? That we’re just friends? That’s all we are? Nothing more?’ The air around us crackled and fizzed, his eyes burned into mine, but that was nothing compared with the grip of his hands.

I wrenched mine back, fighting against the power he had to enthrall me. ‘What else am I to think? First you ignore me, then you’re all over me, then you’re not – but you make it clear that I’m important to you.’ Fury – frustration – and I don’t know what else surged to the surface. I jabbed a finger into his chest. ‘And don’t pretend you haven’t known I like you. Don’t pretend you haven’t been aware that I don’t understand a damn thing about what you want, what you feel. Because I won’t believe you.’ I walked off, tears stinging, heart stinging.

The next thing I knew, his arms were around me. ‘I’m sorry, Juno. You’re right, I have been aware. I did know.’ He held me away from him to look into my face. ‘But I had to give you time to be sure, to make up your own mind.’

I sniffed tears back. I thought I’d caught a fleeting flash of satisfaction somewhere in the mix streaming around him, but he looked so serious, so worried, I threw caution away and said, ‘Well, you’d better tell me how you feel. Speak the words plain and simple, because I’ve got so tangled I don’t trust my own thoughts about anything right now.’

He gave me the tenderest of smiles and wiped away a tear from my chin. ‘How can you doubt me? Haven’t you felt the attraction between us? It’s been there between us from the start. I backed off because I saw that I’d frightened you. Can you accept that?’

I sighed and dropped my head against his chest. ‘Yes, I can. You puzzled me. I know so little about Outside. I didn’t understand anything.’ I pushed away the knowledge that I hadn’t felt an immediate attraction.

He pulled me in tight. ‘I’m sorry, babe. So sorry.’ He kissed me and in that moment, all my worrying was gone, wiped away in the singing, ringing jangle surging through my blood, weakening my bones. He loved me. I wanted his arms to stay around me forever – my legs probably weren’t going to be able to support me when he let me go. Love did such odd things to the body.

He broke the kiss. ‘Jay. My Jay.’ He took my hand and we walked to my house without needing words between us.

Mother’s face lit up when she saw me. She said nothing, but I knew she was dreaming of having Ivor as her son-in-law. For once, I was happy to let her dream.

I talked to him that evening on the mini-comp and told him she was pleased we were together. He laughed and said, ‘Your mum adores me, Jay. It’s all sweet.’ Then he gave that dramatic shiver again. ‘It’s that father of yours I’m worried about. Him and his great big shovel.’

It was wonderful to laugh with the person you loved.

I went to sleep that night in a daze of happiness. Now I understood the power love could hold, and I felt pain for Vima and Jov. You couldn’t choose who you would love, and when it happened it left you helpless. I was so lucky that Ivor was free to love me back.

T
hat Sunday night, our second weekend in New Plymouth, Ivor called me up to chat. I took the mini-comp into Danyat’s caravan, away from interested ears. Now I understood how Vima felt when she fell in love with Jov I couldn’t imagine how she’d managed to give him up. Did Silvern and Paz feel this same excitement in the blood, a fizzing through the whole body, joy bubbling up from somewhere under the ribs?

Ivor had spoken to me only once before on the
mini-comp
. He had kept his voice low, and it had disturbed me in a way that was beyond anything I’d felt before. Disturbed? No. It thrilled me. It thrilled me right into my blood and my bones.

It was the same this night. We talked and talked, though I can’t remember what about. But I do remember being annoyed when the alarm on the mini-comp went off at nine o’clock.

‘What’s that for?’ Ivor asked. ‘D’you have to go?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘Don’t know what that was for. Some random appointment. Don’t worry about it.’

Two minutes later, Silvern’s icon appeared on the screen. And that’s when the nine o’clock memory rushed back.

‘Ivor! Gotta go! That alarm – it was important. Tell you later. Bye.’ I clicked off without waiting for his farewell. ‘Hello? I’m here now,’ I gasped.

‘You’d still be alive then?’ Silvern asked, her voice snippy.

‘Talking to Ivor the Gorgeous by any chance?’ Paz asked.

‘I won’t forget again,’ I promised, choosing not to incriminate myself.

But Shallym said, ‘What’s he like, this Ivor guy? Is he really so hot?’

‘Ask Juno.’ Silvern was still cross, and I was ashamed of myself. These were my friends, and I hadn’t even bothered to remember they’d be calling me, that they were trying to help keep Hera safe.

Before I could apologise again, Marba called us to order. ‘Let’s get to the important things. Juno, any news on the Hera question?’

I was happy to report that there was nothing.

Biddo said, ‘You know, there’s not much any of us can do. We’ve got no leads, nothing to go on. I’ve been looking on the net, but it’s useless without even one name.’

I swallowed and managed to say, ‘D’you want to flag the conference calls? Until we’ve got something definite?’ I held my breath.

‘Depends,’ said Silvern. ‘You’ll have to choose – time with the Gorgeous Ivor, or time with your friends.’

How could she even suggest I’d put Hera second? ‘I’ll be here. I’ll be waiting. This is my sister’s life. I need you, all of you. Please.’

Then, of course, she laughed. ‘Okay, we get the picture. Lucky for you that three of us have had an eyeful of the beautiful one, otherwise you’d be on your own, girl.’

‘Is he really so gorgeous?’ Brex asked, sounding wistful. ‘Like how?’

‘Oh for the love of Taris!’ Marba said. ‘Concentrate, can’t you?’

Silvern ignored him. ‘Ivor has muscles. He has dark hair and brown eyes to drown in. Knows how to use his smile to advantage.’

It seemed to me Paz might be feeling rather pleased it was me and not Silvern in the same city as Ivor, but he said, ‘He’s okay. Can’t see what the attraction is myself, though.’

‘I’d be worried if you could,’ Silvern told him.

To change the subject I said, ‘Marba, can we all say what it’s like where we’re living? What’s good and what’s not so brilliant, I mean?’

‘You go first, Juno,’ Silvern ordered. ‘And damp down the fabulousness of your new life. If you can.’

Cow. I could easily damp down the fabulousness. I told them about the kindy class and the paint and clay. ‘But I keep looking for you guys. I keep wanting to tell you things and you’re not there.’ That would do. I wouldn’t speak of the turmoil Ivor let loose in me when he was with me, when he spoke to me, when he kissed me.

Marba was next. ‘The good thing is that now I understand why you were all so upset when we left the Centre. I
get
loneliness now.’ He was so pleased with himself that we had to laugh.

Of the rest of us, only Biddo felt totally happy, but he was in love with the technology world and had an
after-school
job at a shop in Paraparaumu, where his family were living.

‘Taris wasn’t so bad,’ Pel said, sighing.

‘Rules, murder and isolation. Yep, a recipe for bliss,’ Silvern said. ‘For goodness sake, all of you – don’t ever forget the bad bits of Taris. It was awful and all of us …
all
of us wanted to get out.’

‘Not that you ever said so, little Miss Perfect.’ I couldn’t help it. She was so all over the place – one minute nice and the next Silvern-the-Horrible. A bit of consistency wouldn’t hurt.

‘Shut up, all of you,’ Marba said. ‘This is
counter-productive
. We’ll finish now, but tomorrow be in a better frame of mind or don’t bother logging on.’ He clicked out and was gone.

‘Ouch,’ I said. ‘Sorry, Silvern. Sorry, everybody.’ I logged out, vowing to be online and waiting the next night and for every evening after that.

But there continued to be nothing to report in the way of danger to Hera. She was happy at school, happy that she could play with her friends outside school – although not pleased that Mother, Danyat or I always accompanied her when she played at her friends’ houses. She said nothing more about going away soon. We dared hope we’d averted the danger by moving to New Plymouth.

Ivor came with me whenever I took Hera to her friend Angelo’s house, and we would sit under a tree in the garden, talking or just enjoying being together while Hera played. She pretended we weren’t there, although Danyat said that when he went with her she talked to him, or asked him to play his flute so that she and Angelo could dance. The fact she ignored Ivor and me suited us all.

The third time we took her, she stomped down the road ahead of us, muttering to herself. I caught Ivor’s name, and
silly
. Too bad. She didn’t have to like him.

‘She’s a character,’ Ivor said, and he slipped his arm around my waist.

‘You’ve got no idea!’ Actually, that was true, he didn’t have the faintest understanding of my strong-willed sister. I was surprised to discover what a relief that was. Yes, he knew about her ability to foretell things, but to him she was otherwise just an ordinary kid. ‘How long are you guys going to keep up the watch-dog scenario with her?’

My mouth fell open. ‘What d’you mean
how long
? As long as we need to, of course.’

He hugged tighter. ‘Keep your hair on! It just seems to me that it’s over the top. She’s a little kid. You don’t need to be on her case the whole time. You, your family and all your Taris friends.’

I managed not to yell at him, but I did move away from the shelter of his arm as I said, ‘I wish you were right, but I think you’re wrong.’

Hera pushed open the gate into Angelo’s house and we dropped the subject. Did Ivor see Hera as a nuisance, an obstacle somehow?

We went over to the bench under the tree to wait for her. Ivor stood in front of me and smiled. ‘Don’t be upset! The world’s still spinning. Your sister’s still here. The sky hasn’t fallen in.’

I couldn’t resist his smile and held out my hand to him. ‘Sorry. But I can’t shake the feeling of danger.’

‘Look,’ he said, ‘I’ve given it a lot of thought. Did you ever consider that keeping danger in your mind might attract it towards you?’

I gulped. ‘Are you saying … do you think …’ I couldn’t go on.

He dropped my hand and pulled me up in his arms. ‘You do take things to heart! Cool it, babe. All I’m saying is that this whole thing might have got blown up in your mind. And your family’s too. You’re all looking out for trouble, but there’s a high chance there’s none out there.’

I couldn’t look at him so I watched my sister instead. ‘You might be right.’

He laughed at me. ‘And every atom of you is shrieking that I’m wrong.’

That made me laugh too. What did it matter if he didn’t think about Hera the same way as I did? The important thing was how he felt about me, and I was in no doubt about that.

 

The days sped past, and although sometimes I wondered if Ivor was right, I still had the sense of danger. I kept on talking to my learning stratum every night, and my family and Oban kept on watching over Hera. I said nothing more to Ivor and he didn’t raise the topic again.

Two weeks passed before Dad told us he and the grandparents would be with us soon. ‘The beginning of November,’ he said. ‘Only a few days to wait now.’

‘That’s good news,’ Pel said when my stratum spoke that evening. ‘A month – it’s a long time to be apart.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Paz muttered.

All at once I felt sorry for him and Silvern, ready to forgive her bad temper. I understood about love now. She and Paz had been separated for even longer than Dad had been apart from us. I thought how I’d feel if I had to be separated from Ivor for that long. Then it seemed Silvern was doing the mind thing because she said, ‘How’s wonder boy? Give us the latest, but tone it down or we’ll puke.’

I kept my voice controlled. ‘He’s good.’ To stop myself from saying more, from letting loose the spill of excitement Ivor created in me, I spoke of Thomas. ‘I try to be nice to him – it’s not his fault he got Hilto for a father. I know it’s illogical, but the truth is I’m scared of him. So I keep out of his way as much as I can.’

‘How much do you see of him?’ Fortun asked. ‘Is he in your face all the time? That sort of thing?’

I shook my head. ‘No. I manage to avoid him mostly. It’s not hard. He’s in the junior part of the school.’

‘Huh,’ said Silvern. ‘You should know by now that you can run but you can’t hide. He’ll always be there in your head, bugging you. Face up to it. Find out if it’s just your crazy mind that’s got stuck in the anti-Hilto groove.’

‘Thanks a bundle, but hiding’s fine with me.’ It was all very well for her to tell me to get cosy with Thomas. No way would she want to do it.

We signed off, all of us at odds with each other.

When Ivor and I walked to school in the morning, I talked to him about Thomas. ‘Silvern says I should get to know him, find out if I’m right to be wary of him.’

He dropped my hand so that he could put his arm around me instead. ‘Don’t worry about it. Plenty of other people in Aotearoa to be friends with. Don’t waste time on those you don’t like is my motto.’

Excellent advice. I stood on tiptoes to kiss him, but when we started walking again Danyat and Hera were out of sight around a corner. I tugged Ivor’s hand. ‘Quick, we have to catch them up. Hurry!’

‘Okay, Jay. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.’ He sped up, tugging me along, so that we arrived laughing at the school gates in a tie with Hera and Danyat. Ivor blew me a kiss as he ran off to his own classroom on the other side of the school.

Danyat smiled at me. I chose to ignore the worry I sensed behind his smile, because I knew it was worry about me. He didn’t need to be concerned. I’d met the love of my life and we would live happily ever after.

There was a stranger waiting in the school foyer, a girl of about Vima’s age. Her clothes were rags and her skin bore the marks of blackberry thorns. Hera took one look at her, hissed and said, ‘Go away. You’re silly.’

For a second, neither Danyat nor I moved, but then I snatched my sister into my arms. ‘Come on, chicky. Let’s go to your class. Danyat, can you tell them I’ll stay in Hera’s class this morning?’

‘Be careful,’ he said.

Hera demanded to walk. I set her down and followed her. ‘Don’t you come, Juno. This is
my
class. You’ve got your own class.’

I hauled her to a stop, knelt down and said, ‘I’m coming today. Me or Danyat. Get over it.’

She wriggled from my grasp and marched on her way.

Atarangi was surprised to see me, but she seemed unconcerned when I told her about the strange girl in the foyer. ‘We’ll soon find out if she’s dangerous. Willem will bring her to us. Sit down and don’t worry.’

It was half an hour or so before Willem came in with the girl. She’d had a shower and washed her hair. Her clothes were different too, tidy and not ragged. He didn’t introduce her or make a big deal out of it. He just ushered her into the room, closed the door and stood with her in front of the class.

Almost as if somebody had flicked a switch, the children stopped what they were doing and stared at the girl. She smiled and held out a hand. Instantly, a bunch of the kids scrambled to rush to Atarangi, while others scuttled under tables or into the play house where they pulled blankets over their heads. Only Hera stood her ground in the middle of the room, hands on her hips. ‘Go
away!
’ she ordered. ‘I told you. I told you before. You’re silly. Go away.’

I stared at the girl. A weird mix of expressions – anger, regret, longing – played across her face. Willem touched her arm and opened the door for her, and they left.

‘What happens now? To her, I mean,’ I asked Atarangi.

‘They’ll give her food to take with her, but she’ll be sent away.’ Atarangi settled the kids on the mat in front of her and gestured for me to take a seat too. ‘Okay everybody,’ she said. ‘Tell me about that lady.’