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Authors: T.K. Leigh

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BOOK: Heart Of Marley
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“No, I don’t, but Uncle Graham had to go play in some golf tournament for the church so she’s stuck. She doesn’t want to deprive Mama of her weekly time with us because of her opinion of her.”

Marley looked down and toyed with her fingers in her lap. “Do you blame her, though?”

“I don’t,” I replied, sighing. “It took me a while to forgive Mama, but I think her spending three years in prison and having us taken away from her was punishment enough. You see how she looks at us every week.” I sat up and gave her a questioning look. “You
can
see it, can’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she conceded, turning her eyes from me. “I just wish it’s as easy for me to forgive her as it is for you. You’re a better person than I am, Cam.”

“I’m not a better person, Mar. I’m just moving on with my life and taking it one day at a time. Same as you. Same as Aunt Terryn. Same as Uncle Graham. And same as Mama.”

She got up and walked toward the bed, sitting next to me. I wrapped my arms around her. “Some days are easier to forgive Mama than others,” I admitted.

She pulled back and scrunched her eyebrows at me. “What do you mean? I thought you
had
forgiven her.”

“Yeah. But the way I look at it, forgiveness is an ongoing process, at least for me. Some days, I feel that I need to carry the hate around and not forgive her or anyone else because of everything. Those are usually the days when I hear you screaming and crying in your sleep. I hate that, Mar. I wish I could take the nightmares away.”

She visibly cowered and I could sense that she was uneasy about the direction our conversation had turned.

“You don’t have to put on an act in front of me, Marley Jane.” I pulled her into me once more, calming the fears that pervaded her for the better part of the past decade of our lives. “You don’t have to hide from me.”

“I’m not hiding from you…”

“Just everyone else then?”

“Maybe. I just don’t want to let anyone down. I keep thinking that if I do normal things, like date, maybe I can finally be normal. And I felt that last night, Cam. When Doug kissed me and I was shouting ‘come’ at the top of my lungs…”

“Wait. What?” I interrupted.

She blushed, laughing. “It’s a funny word and we were both nervous and kept saying come, but the way it was said, it could have had a double meaning. I could tell that he wasn’t being himself because of it, and that bothered me. So I shouted it over and over again. And then I made him say it, too. It was a wonderful ice-breaker.”

I planted a kiss on her forehead before getting off her bed so she could get ready in peace. “Another one of your theater tricks?” I glanced back at her and saw the Marley that very few people had the good fortune of seeing.

“You bet your ass it was.” She winked.

“Okay. Get ready.”

“Cam…” she said, her voice soft.

I turned around and met her brilliant blue eyes. I knew exactly what she wanted when I saw the expression on her face.

“To the moon and back, Mar.”

“From the stars to the ocean, Cam.”

C
HAPTER
S
EVEN
M
AMA

W
EEKLY
VISITATION
WITH
M
AMA
was today. It started out just like any other Saturday, except Aunt Terryn had to take us instead of Uncle Graham. There has always been a great deal of animosity and distrust between Mama and Aunt Terryn, with good reason.

The two-hour car ride from Myrtle Beach to the suburb outside of Columbia was filled with tension, and I could see Aunt Terryn’s knuckles turning white from the harsh grip she had on the steering wheel. I wondered if her jaw was going to lock in place due to the severe look on her face, her teeth grinding every few minutes. I just prayed that a cat-fight didn’t break out. I had a feeling it wouldn’t, not when our court-ordered case worker was required to be at all of our visitations.

“Marley Jane,” Mama exhaled, raising herself off the couch as we walked into the living room. “Cameron Michael.” She headed toward Cam and me, and pulled both of us against her small and slight body, hugging us. I inhaled and smelled the scent that could only be described as Mama. It was a mixture of baby powder, jasmine, and innocence lost.

“Hey, Mama,” Cam said, planting a kiss on her cheek.

“Are you kids hungry? You must be after that long drive.” She looked at us before her eyes settled on our aunt standing behind us.

“Terryn… What an unexpected surprise. Can I get you anything to drink or eat?”

Cam and I both turned to stare at her. “No, Grace,” she responded curtly, obviously mustering all of her energy to remain cordial. “I just wanted to drop them off and ensure that Mrs. Gibson was, in fact, here.” She gestured toward our middle-aged case worker crocheting on a rocking chair in the corner of the modest living room. “I have plans to meet up with some friends, but I’ll be back at five o’clock sharp for them.”

Mama smiled agreeably at her. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. Enjoy your day in Columbia,” she responded, her voice exuding the southern hospitality we were all accustomed to. She ushered both of us away from the front door and into the kitchen. “Now, tell me how the bonfire was last night.”

The hours passed with ease as we sat on the back deck of Mama’s small house just outside of our state capital. The air was thick with a late summer humidity, but that didn’t bother us. Every so often, Mrs. Gibson would poke her head outside, apparently making sure that Mama wasn’t firing up the crack pipe or injecting a needle in her arm.

I understood the court’s reasons for ordering supervised visits at first, but once she had shown that she had cleaned up her act and obtained gainful employment, I thought they would re-evaluate their original decree. I had a sneaky feeling that the animosity Aunt Terryn had toward Mama played a factor in it. I wouldn’t be surprised to have found out that she encouraged Uncle Graham to make a few phone calls to the judge, a fellow parishioner, who was assigned to this case. It didn’t bother me too much, but I could tell it was hard for Mama to constantly have a reminder of the dark time in her life judging her actions.

“I’ll be right back,” Cam said, interrupting my thoughts. “Nature calls. Anyone need a water while I’m in there?”

I shook my head and closed my eyes, basking in the warm Carolina sun.

“I’m all set, sweetheart,” Mama said.

I heard the screen door open and close, the only other sounds that of the occasional fly buzzing around my head and squeal of children playing in the neighborhood.

“Marley Jane,” Mama said in hushed tones once we were alone.

I took caution at her voice. Opening my eyes, I looked at her kind and loving face, and could sense a hint of urgency in her demeanor that wasn’t there seconds beforehand.

She clutched my hand in hers and gazed at me affectionately. Taking a deep breath, she began, “I was warned not to tell you this, but I think it’s wrong to keep it from you.”

I straightened my spine, my heart racing at her words and tone. “What is it, Mama?”

“I could get into a lot of trouble for saying anything. Your uncle and aunt wanted to keep you in the dark, but I think you should know. I think you
deserve
to know.” She closed her eyes and when she opened them, I saw what Cam was talking about. I saw the remorse. I saw the pain. I saw the hurt. Most of all, I saw the confused and broken-hearted woman that my mama was when my dad died all those years ago. I saw the grief and shame she must have been living with day-in and day-out, knowing that she put herself in a comatose drug-induced haze while her boyfriend did whatever he wanted with a little girl.

“It’s about Buck,” she said gravely.

My eyes grew wide at the mention of that name. It had been years since I had last heard it, telling the social worker what he did to me. At first, I hated that Cam didn’t kill him, but I figured spending a lifetime rotting away in a prison cell was retribution enough.

“What about…
him
?” I asked, unable to bring myself to even say the name.

“Sweetheart, he was granted parole.”

My chin began to quiver at the thought of that monster roaming the streets. I could just picture his larger-than-life body leaning on a lamp post outside of the nearest school yard in a rundown area of town. I still remember the first time I saw him. He was so nice and inviting, offering to teach me how to play softball. He slowly ingrained himself into our family, looking after us while Mama was on another one of her drug relapses. Then he changed. He changed me. He changed Cam. And he changed Mama. He preyed on all of us. He promised Mama drugs, feeding her addiction so that he could feed his. Cam and I paid the ultimate price.

“I’m sorry, Marley,” Mama said, bringing me back from my thoughts. “I don’t know how it happened. I don’t even know how he was up for it. He shouldn’t have been eligible for another fifteen years. Part of me thinks this whole war on drugs has something to do with it. Why keep child predators in prison when people who are busted with an ounce of marijuana are, apparently, a greater danger to society?” She rolled her eyes, her disdain for our justice system obvious.

“I was going to keep my mouth shut, but I just had a bad feeling in my gut that something horrible could happen if I didn’t at least warn you. Call it maternal instincts.” She looked away. “I wish I had those instincts all those years…” Trailing off, she caught her lip in her teeth, attempting to hide her emotions.

“It’s okay, Mama.” I looked straight ahead, trying to summon the strength to be the bigger person. “I forgive you,” I said quietly.

“What, Marley?” I could hear the surprise and relief in her voice.

I turned toward her and saw the tears flowing freely down her face from her silver eyes. “I’m letting go of my resentment and bitterness. It’s too big of a burden for me to continue to carry. It took Cam to make me see that this animosity was holding me back. And I don’t want to be held back anymore. I want to be a normal teenager. And I think forgiving you is the first step I need to take.”

“Oh, come here, Marley Jane.” She held her arms out to me and I climbed on her lap, remembering all the times she would rock me to sleep when I was a little girl. “I’ve been waiting to hear those words come out of your mouth for years. I know it’s going to take time, but I’d really like for us to go back to the way things were before…”

“Me, too, Mama…except I’m not going to play My Little Ponies with you.”

She laughed and, for the first time, I felt at ease with her. I put her needs ahead of mine.

“Sorry. Am I interrupting?” Cam’s voice broke through the intense atmosphere.

I wiped my eyes, as did Mama, and she released me from her embrace. I got up from her lap and sat back in my lounge chair. “Nope. Not interrupting. We just had a little mother-daughter bonding. That’s all. You have a penis, so you weren’t invited.”

“Marley Jane Bowen!” my mother scolded in complete exasperation. “I taught you to act like a lady. Do you want me to wash your mouth out with soap?”

I glanced at her and smiled. It was good to have my mama back.

C
HAPTER
E
IGHT
N
EWS

BOOK: Heart Of Marley
8.17Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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