Heart of the Bear (Hells Canyon Shifters Book 5) (8 page)

Jesse stepped out of his cabin and glared at the screen of his cell phone. Seven missed calls from Miranda didn’t bode well for how this conversation was going to go. He couldn’t just ignore her forever, though, in case she had something important to say about Jonathan.

He glanced back at his cabin with a feeling of pure and raw guilt tearing up his stomach. He’d wanted to make sure Rae was going to stick around before he mentioned Jonathan, and she was still mulling over her decision. Maybe he should’ve told her about his son earlier when he’d asked her to stay, but there was still a little piece of him that believed this was too good to be true. Stuff like this just didn’t work out for him, and he wanted to be smart about how he handled a relationship with Rae.

He took off down the road to find the place where he could get the best reception and where he could be out of Rae’s hair. She had enough to handle as she organized food for Reese’s celebration without dealing with whatever drama Miranda was cooking up. It had been six years since his crazy ex had left, and she still managed to stir up shit every time he talked to her.

He hit the speed dial for Miranda and waited at the ridge in the road. It rang while he kicked at a dirt clump with the toe of his hiking boot. Maybe she wouldn’t answer, and he could go on pretending she wasn’t going to filet him when he picked up Jonathan. It rang again, and he grew even more hopeful.

“Your son wants to talk to you,” Miranda answered and static blasted over the cell speaker.

“Dad?”

It took every ounce of strength Jesse possessed not to drop to his knees with how good it was to hear his son’s voice. “Yeah, boy. I’m here.”

“I want to come home.” He sniffled, but it was the quiet kind. The kind that said he’d been crying for a while and was trying to be a tough, little man.

“Aren’t you having fun with mom?”

“No. Miranda says she wants to bring me to meet you on Wednesday in Joseph.”

He narrowed his eyes at a beetle that crawled near his boot. Jonathan’s use of Miranda’s first name said this idea had gone totally wrong.

“Why aren’t you calling her mom anymore?” he asked carefully.

“Because she told me not to. And she called you a liar and a cheater, and I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Red fury pumped through his veins as he gripped the phone tighter. “Jonathan, I love you, and I can’t wait for you to be home with me again, boy. Hand the phone to Miranda.”

“What?” his ex gritted out.

“Please make sure our son is in a different room while we have this conversation.”

The sound of a door closing blasted across his sensitive eardrum, and he growled out, “We agreed never to talk bad about each other in front of him, Miranda. Do you not remember the hundred conversations we’ve had about this? I’m not a liar, and I’m not a cheater. And why the hell would you tell him not to call you mom?”

“You are a liar, Jesse. I called up to the tower because your boy has been relentless about leaving early, and Landon answered. Apparently Landon took over your shift for you so you could fuck some whore human. You said you’d wait for me. Forever, if that’s what it took. You lied. You cheated.”

“We’re not together! I said that when we were still trying to work things out. I told you I’d wait when I was devastated and would try anything to keep you happy and with me. That was six years ago. You moved on, Miranda. I never cheated on you. I’ve just moved on, too. Now, why the hell did you tell our son not to call you mom? This was your idea. You wanted him with you for a month so you could get to know him again, remember? This is what you said when I told you I didn’t think this was such a good idea. But our kid is missing a parent in his life, so I was hoping and trusting that you’d changed, or that you were at least responsible enough now to act like an adult.”

“I want you back.”

Her words bucked him backward like she’d slapped him through the phone. “What?”

“I’m ready to come home and put our family back together. It’s why I wanted Jonathan to come stay with me—to bond with me. I wanted to ease back into a life with you, and I knew you’d never trust me again if I didn’t earn Jonathan’s respect.”

“You don’t,” Jesse said, shaking his head in denial. “You don’t want me. You want the idea of me. You want someone pining over you—a plan B you can go back to if your current situation doesn’t work out. I don’t want to be anyone’s plan B anymore. I’m with Rae, and it’s a big deal for me. Don’t come back into my life and fuck with my head just because you heard I’m finally moving on.”

Miranda sniffled into the phone. “I love you, Jesse. I always have.”

Memories of their fights came flooding back. She’d been awful.

I hate you Jesse.

You’re the worst thing to ever happen to me Jesse.

I’m stuck with a part of you inside of me Jesse.

I never wanted a child with a man like you Jesse.

Miranda didn’t know what love was. Not now, not ever.

“Bring my son back,” he said through clenched teeth, then hung up the phone.

****

Today had been the best day of Rae’s life.

She’d gone from despair and insecurity to having Jesse ask her to stay. She’d spent the afternoon in his arms, talking and laughing, and growing comfortable with the idea of a new life. Big changes had been needed in her life for so long, she was lucky to have found Hells Canyon. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she belonged. Sure, she’d have to think about a job soon, and it would be a hard decision because Jesse said there weren’t any adoption agencies anywhere around the small town of Joseph. But this place, with its evergreen wilderness, budding friendships, and the man she was growing to love was beginning to feel like home in a way she’d never imagined a place could.

Jesse had brought some of the food into his room, and they’d still had their picnic, just from the comfort of his plush mattress. He finally pulled her from bed at three in the afternoon and had gone to talk to Ethan about their bond while she showered. The alpha still hadn’t lifted his requirement that she stay in Hells Canyon practically glued to Jesse’s side, but she couldn’t really see a downside to that right now. Her life in Portland seemed so far away.

Landon had knocked on the door as she was getting ready, and when she stepped outside, her dented up car was parked beside Jesse’s Ford. Landon had told her he found it on the outer rim of the Seven Devils clan territory and handed Rae a folded piece of paper.

The handwriting on it was scribbled and dark.

All it said was:

I’m sorry for everything.

Shay

A mixture of anger and sympathy had surged through her. Shay shouldn’t have brought Rae here without any warning of what she was getting into, and she sure as hell shouldn’t have changed into a lioness in the car and tried to maim her. But Jesse had explained about the war with the lions, and now that her people were dead, Shay was all alone. She wasn’t like Breshia or Logan, or the lion cubs Hells Canyon housed. They had a makeshift pride, while Shay was destined to walk this world alone, always hiding what she was.

Rae had held onto Jesse’s arm a little tighter and thanked God that he’d been born into a bear clan that had been able to adapt to the changing times. He was safe and strong because he had a stable clan and friends to lift him up and give him a purpose.

Jesse had taken her down the mountain into the town of Joseph. He’d bought her a week’s worth of clothes and other essentials she’d need until Ethan lifted her probation. Now, she had enough to last until she and Jesse could return to her apartment in Portland and decide what to do with her belongings.

“Rae, are you in here?” Reese called through the opened front door.

“Yeah, in the kitchen.”

Reese had dressed in a blue silk blouse and black tights tucked into her hiking boots. The outfit looked eerily similar to the one Rae was wearing, and she laughed when Reese whistled at her. “I’m almost done packing this stuff up, and then I’ll be ready to go.”

Reese peeked into one of the coolers and her eyes lit up. “Where did you get all this?”

“Jesse bought enough food to feed the entire clan for a week when he went shopping for a picnic for me. There is no way we can eat this much in the next few days, so I figured I’d bring some of it to your celebration.”

“Jesse made you a picnic?” Her eyes went wide, and her blond tresses fell over her shoulders as she shook her head. “That is so sweet!”

“I know,” Rae gushed. “He’s been amazing. Reese, can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” she said, pulling out a bag of cold fried green tomatoes from a Snappie’s Café bag.

“You don’t think I’m crazy for doing this, do you?”

Reese bit into the tomato and rolled her eyes. “Ith fucking orgathmic,” she said around the mouthful. She gulped and pulled another from the bag. “No, you aren’t crazy. This isn’t like the life you’re used to. The time table isn’t the same. Animals are different in that we know when we’ve met our match.” She frowned. “At least, some of us do. You don’t even realize how lucky you are that you and Jesse bonded. If you’d tried to be together without it, it would be so much harder to build each other up.”

Rae turned and leaned against the counter, gripping the edge. “He asked me to be his mate.”

Reese almost choked. “What? Are you serious, Rae? You better not be shitting with me.”

Laughter bubbled from her throat. “I’m serious as a werebear attack.”

“Ugh, don’t call us that.”

“Werebear don’t care.”

Reese’s eyebrows lifted as she stifled her grin. “Stop it, Rae.”

“I told him I’d think about it.”

“That’s huge.” Reese dropped the tomato into the bag and gripped her shoulders. “That’s bigger than huge.”

“I know. It feels overwhelming when he’s not near me, reassuring me.”

Reese frowned. “Where is Jesse, anyway? I thought he was supposed to stay glued to you.”

“He said he had to make a phone call. We’re going to meet up at your party.”

“All right, well let me help you haul this stuff.” Reese hugged a couple of paper bags full of food to her chest and made her way out the front door.

Other shifters were streaming onto a thin trail at the tree line, and Rae smiled at a mother with two children bustling around her legs. The hike took ten minutes before they came to a clearing. Thick tufts of swaying summer grasses dotted the ground, and a couple of men were hanging colorful paper lanterns from tree limbs along the edge of the meadow. A giant, hand-painted sign reading
Congratulations Ranger Reese
in neon letters stretched across two bamboo poles near the back. A pile of sticks and logs was stacked near the middle for what looked like a bonfire, and when Rae scanned the table of foods being organized, Muriel and Samantha waved from behind it.

She grinned and set the bags down, then began unloading them with Reese.

“You’re still here,” Muriel observed with a knowing grin. “I was afraid Jesse was taking you away from us this morning.”

“I thought so, too, but he was just apologizing for last night. Besides, Ethan hasn’t okayed me to leave yet.”

“Ethan’s a little protective,” Reese said under her breath.

“I can’t blame him though,” Rae said, looking around at the people talking and setting up together. “I mean, just look at this place. If I told one person, everything here could come to an end. I don’t like feeling trapped in a place, but I get it.”

Samantha quirked her eyebrow as she lined up three pies beside each other. “You sound like you belong to the Seven Devils clan now, Rae. You’re going to be a right proper little mountain woman before you know it.”

Reese tilted her chin up and winked at Rae, then went back to unloading the bags. Yep, all it took was one word from Rae, and it would be so. If she told Jesse “yes,” she’d be a part of this place, and a trill zinged up her spine at the realization that all of this could be a part of her life if she wanted it.

“Hey, you,” Jesse said against her ear. From behind, he slid his hands over her hips and kissed her just below the ear.

Instant heat flooded her cheeks, but the other girls greeted Jesse and didn’t even act like they were being scandalous with their public affection. And on further thought, she shouldn’t feel that way either. If his clan was going to be upset, or even if they weren’t, they’d have to get used to seeing her and Jesse together.

“I’m stealing my girl for a minute.” His voice sounded strange. More gravelly than usual. “I promise I’ll get her right back here to help, but I need a word.”

“A word?” Reese asked. “Mmm hmm.”

Rae’s cheeks were burning, but she couldn’t help the elated smile on her face any more than she could control the weather. “I’ll be right back,” she murmured, taking Jesse’s offered hand.

He pulled her along a winding trail through the woods, all the way to a felled log covered with moss. When he turned around, his eyes were churning silver.

Frowning, she touched the short whiskers along his jawline. “What’s wrong?”

“I have to tell you something, but I don’t feel like now is the right time.”