Heart to Heart (From the Files of Madison Finn, 11) (15 page)

“Wow, that’s a ton of money,” Madison said.

“I hate to admit it, but Ivy did a great job,” Aimee agreed.

Everyone clapped. Then the music started up again.

“Hey, Ben,” Aimee said. “You want to go back out on the dance floor?”

“Definitely,” Ben said.

Fiona and Egg went to dance again, too. Chet left to see if he could round up any more gossip about Zeke and Monica.

Madison tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked in Hart’s direction.

That was when
she
walked up.

“Hart, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Ivy said as she wrapped her arm around Hart’s. She didn’t even look in Madison’s direction. “I’m ready for my dance now.”

“Oh,” Hart said. “I’ll see you later, Madison, okay?”

Madison forced herself to smile at him as she was left there, standing alone with Drew.

Now Madison had no idea what to say. Drew wasn’t talking either.

Was
Hart her mysterious admirer—or not? Had he planned to ask her to dance in the first place—or not? Was Drew ever going to talk to her again—or not?

Madison snuck a look at Drew out of the corner of her eye. He had been looking at her, but he looked away when she glanced at him. Had Drew been her secret admirer all along? She hadn’t even given him a chance.

Madison had to know
now.
Once and for all—who was Orange Crush?

There was only one way to find out.

M
ADISON TURNED AND FACED DREW.

She couldn’t ask a question like
Have you been sending me secret poems?,
so she decided to try another approach.

“Hey,” Madison said. “Having fun?”

Drew gave her a lopsided half-smile. “Yeah. That’s a nice dress you have on,” he said awkwardly.

“Thanks,” Madison said.

Drew glanced away.

“I like your flowers, too,” she said. Madison hoped that once she had thanked Drew for the carnations, he would admit that he had sent them.

“Flowers?” Drew asked. “Oh—you mean these?” he said, holding out his tie. It was covered with bright splotches of color. “I think they’re just blobs, actually.”

“Oh,” Madison said, confused. “Well, not exactly.” She took a deep breath. “Look, Drew, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say to you.”

Drew lifted his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

Madison bit her lip. “I’m really sorry about the way I acted—when you asked me to the dance.”

“Oh, that,” Drew said. He shrugged. “No biggie. I’m over it. We’re friends again. That’s cool.”

Madison blinked.
Over it?
But if he was over it, why would he have sent an e-mail saying that he hoped they could dance together?

He wouldn’t have.

Which meant that he really wasn’t her secret admirer.

“Of course,” Madison said. “We’re friends.”

“I think I’m going to get some nachos,” Drew said. “You want anything?”

Madison shook her head, and Drew wandered over toward the snack table. Madison looked up at the giant clock on the wall of the gym. It was already eight thirty. She had expected to spend the evening dancing with her secret admirer, but now she was starting to wonder if her mystery boy really had been a prank, after all.

Madison gazed across the room and saw Dan standing on the side of the dance floor. She wandered over to say hello. Dan was good at cheering her up. He could take her mind off of all of this secret-admirer stuff.

“Hey, Dan,” Madison said, tapping him on the shoulder.

“Madison!” Dan said. “You scared me! Are you having fun?”

“Yeah,” Madison said halfheartedly.

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked. “You look a little down.”

Madison shrugged. She didn’t feel like explaining right now. “I’m fine,” she lied. “The dance is great.”

“Sure—” Dan agreed, “it’s got everything, good music, good food, people making out and getting busted—”

Madison laughed.

“I can’t wait to see Mr. Danehy’s face on Monday morning,” Dan went on, “when he finds out that his science lab was a major
love shack.”

Madison laughed again.

“He’ll probably start padlocking his door from now on,” Madison said.

“Maybe he won’t let us into the room anymore,” Dan suggested. “We’ll all have to learn science in the hallway.”

Madison giggled. “You’re so funny,” she said.

Dan smiled at her, then looked out at the dancers. “Did you get my e-mail?”

Madison nodded. “Yeah,” she said, thinking for a moment about the one that he had sent her from the Far Hills Animal Clinic. But that didn’t make sense—he’d sent that on Tuesday. Why would he be asking about it now?

“No, wait,” Madison said, shaking her head. “What e-mail?”

Dan looked at her, then cleared his throat. “Actually, I sent you a couple …” he said. “Did you—did you get my poem?”

Madison’s brain felt fuzzy. “Your poem?” she repeated. Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“I’m pretty sure you got the balloon,” Dan went on, “and I
know
that you got the carnations. I was standing right behind you when you picked them up tonight.”

“You?” Madison said.

All at once, the fog-machine air of the gym seemed to press down on her, and Madison struggled for breath.

She didn’t know what to say.

She wanted to run.

“Excuse me,” Madison whispered. “I’ll be … right back …”

Madison took a step away from Dan, and then another, and soon she was running—running toward the exit as fast as she could. She could hear Dan calling her name, but Madison didn’t look back.

She couldn’t face him. She just couldn’t.

Madison burst through the heavy gym door, and sucked in the icy February air deep into her lungs.

The cold air felt good on her skin, and she felt better as the door swung closed behind her and the music faded away.

Suddenly, deep sobs welled up from inside. Madison gave into them, her shoulders shaking. She wasn’t sure why she was crying. She was shivering, but she couldn’t tell whether it was from the cold or not. She didn’t feel cold. Her nose started to run.

A blast of music cut through the still night air as the gym door swung open.

“Madison?” Mom called. “Honey bear?”

Mom came over, opened her coat, and drew Madison into a warm hug. She didn’t say anything, just rubbed Madison’s back as she had when Madison fell and skinned her knee as a little girl.

Madison sniffled and stopped shaking. “I … I think I drooled on your coat,” she said finally. “I’m sorry.”

Mom laughed. “Please,” she said. “I’ve already spilled five different kinds of soda on myself. A little drool won’t make any difference.”

Mom brushed the tears away from Madison’s cheeks with her palms.

“Do you want to talk?” Mom asked gently.

Madison shook her head. “I don’t know why I’m freaking out—” She started, but she felt a lump grow in her throat. She had to swallow hard before she could go on. “It’s just,” she said in a whisper, “I just found out who my secret admirer is. It’s Dan.”

“Dan Ginsburg?” Mom asked. “That nice boy?”

Madison nodded.

“I see,” Mom said softly. “But you thought it was … someone else.”

Madison nodded again. Then her vision blurred and hot tears came spilling down her cheeks. “Oh, man,” she whispered fiercely, “how could I have been so
stupid!”

Mom hugged her again and kissed her head. “It’s okay, sweetie,” she said. “It’s okay.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Madison wailed. “Dan told me, and I ran away like an idiot. Now he probably hates me.”

“I’m sure that he didn’t go from liking you to hating you in five seconds,” Mom said.

“You should have seen his face, Mom,” Madison said.

“Well, I’m sure his feelings were hurt,” Mom admitted. “But—isn’t Dan a friend of yours?”

“Yes,” Madison said, swiping at her tears. “So?”

“So—friends have fights,” Mom explained. “And friends apologize and make up.”

Madison stared at the ground. “I can’t face him,” she said. “I
can’t.
I’ll die.”

Mom put her hand beneath Madison’s chin and raised her face so that they were looking each other in the eye. “Madison, I know that you’re embarrassed,” she said gently. “And I know that you’re disappointed that your secret admirer isn’t who you thought it was. But Dan is a good friend. And I think you know how hard it can be to have a crush on someone, especially if they may not feel the same way.”

Madison swallowed hard. Mom was right.

“All right,” Madison said finally. “I’ll go back and talk to him.” She wiped her face and looked up at her mom. “Do I look okay?” she asked.

Mom smoothed a lock of hair away from Madison’s face. “Okay? Maddie, you look beautiful,” she said.

Madison squeezed her Mom. “Thank you so much,” she said.

“Now, let’s get inside—I’m freezing!” Mom replied.

“Yeah, it is cold out here!” Madison agreed, folding her arms across her chest and shivering. The warm air greeted them as they walked back into the gym. Mom gave Madison’s hand a little tug and returned to her chaperoning position by the soda table. Aimee and Ben were standing there, sipping Cokes.

“Have you guys seen Dan?” Madison asked them.

“No,” Aimee said. She leaned over to Madison and out of Ben’s earshot. “Maddie, are you okay? Have you been crying?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Madison said breathlessly. She stood on tiptoe and searched the room for Dan. He was standing by the bleachers, putting on his coat.

Madison hurried over as he started for the gym doors.

“Dan,” she called out. “Wait.”

Dan turned toward her, but he kept his eyes on the floor. Even in the dim light, Madison could see that his face was burning. He didn’t say anything.

“Dan, I’m so sorry,” Madison said in a rush. “I didn’t mean to flip out. It’s just that—you caught me by surprise.”

Dan finally looked up at her, but she couldn’t read the expression in his dark eyes.

“I mean, looking back on it, I guess I should have known that Orange Crush was you, but I didn’t, and then when you said that it was you, I was just like, ‘Wow, I had no clue,’ and … and … and this is the part where you stop me from babbling,” Madison said.

Dan gave her a little lopsided grin.

“Please,” Madison went on. “Say something. Say
anything.”

Dan sighed. “I didn’t mean to get you angry or sad,” he said finally. “I’m really sorry if I embarrassed you.”

“No—no,” Madison said.
“I’m
sorry. It’s not you. It’s just that I’m not—I can’t deal with this whole boyfriend thing right now.”

Madison wished that this moment could be perfectly scripted like in the movies, where everyone always knows exactly what to say.

“I really like you, Dan,” Madison continued.

“But as a friend,” Dan said. “Right?”

“Yeah,” Madison said. “A good friend.”

“As a friend,” Dan repeated. He looked at her a moment. “Well,” he said slowly, “that’s cool.”

“Cool?” Madison asked. Her heart thudded in her chest.

“It’s cooler than cool,” Dan said slyly. Madison laughed to hear him use one of her expressions. “We have a lot in common, you know?”

“Like the animal shelter?” Madison asked.

Dan nodded. “And—you know—we both like peanut butter,” he added.

Madison giggled. “And pizza.”

“Yeah,” Dan said with a grin. “Tons of stuff in common.” He jammed his fists in his pockets and looked at the floor. “I just wanted to do something nice for you. You deserve it.”

Madison touched Dan lightly on the shoulder. “You’re the best,” she said.

Behind them, the colored lights dimmed, and soft strains of slow music floated toward the ceiling.

“Well,” Dan said uncomfortably, “I guess I’d better get going.” He looked over his shoulder toward the door.

“No—wait,” Madison said. “Don’t you—do you want to dance?”

“Dance?” Dan said.

Madison bobbed up and down. “Yes, dance—with me,” she said.

“I’d love to,” Dan said. He dropped his coat on the bleachers and followed Madison onto the crowded dance floor.

Madison put her hands on Dan’s shoulders and he put his hands at her waist, and they swayed to the soft music. Madison could see Fiona and Egg standing off to the side. Aimee and Ben were dancing, too, as were Ivy and Hart. Ivy had her head on Hart’s chest and her eyes were closed, but Hart didn’t really seem to be paying attention. He looked over at Madison as if to say
Hey!

“So—Dan,” Madison said, “can I still keep the balloon? And the flowers?”

Dan laughed. “I guess so,” he said. “But I want the chocolate rose back.”

“Oh, no,” Madison said in mock horror. “I already ate it.”

“Ate
it?” Dan pretended to be shocked.

“Actually, I ate half of it,” Madison admitted. “Aimee ate the other half.”

“Well,” Dan said slowly, “I guess you can keep it, then.” He looked at Madison, his eyes twinkling. “But I just want you to know that I’m going to keep on liking you.”

Madison was grateful for the darkness, because she knew that she was blushing furiously. “All right,” she said finally as the disco ball spun colored light across the ceiling. “I guess that’s a pretty fair deal.”

The Dance


Mom and I just got home from the dance. Dad left a message on the answering machine earlier tonight from him and Stephanie both. I think I’m getting used to the idea of them being together. They wished me “good luck and surprising romance” tonight. Isn’t that nice? If only they knew how right they were!!!


Rude Awakening:
Love is definitely blind. I didn’t see this one coming at all.


To think—all this time, Orange Crush was Dan Ginsburg—and I never even suspected it. My secret admirer really put the “Dan” in dance, ha-ha.


In some ways, I’m kind of relieved that my SA wasn’t Hart. I mean, sure, it would have been amazing, and perfect and everything. But it also would have been a ton of pressure. The truth is, I’m not really sure that I’m ready to be in major love right now. Someday I will be, but not right now. I’ll know the signs—I hope.


When Mom and I first got home, we took Phin for a long walk. (He was waiting for us all night!) He kept looking around on the street, for Peaches, I think. But he didn’t seem too disappointed that the golden wasn’t there. Even dogs have to get over their crushes.


I have been looking for all these positive signs for romance. And I hope time will erase what happened w/Dan and Drew before and during the dance. I want to go on being normal friends just like always.


After all, friendship is the most important thing, right?