Heartache and Hope
Heartache and Hope
Mary Manners
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental.
Heartache and Hope
COPYRIGHT 2015 by Mary Manners
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author or Pelican Ventures, LLC except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
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Contact Information: [email protected]
All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version
(R),
NIV
(R),
Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.⢠Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Cover Art by
Nicola Martinez
White Rose Publishing, a division of Pelican Ventures, LLC
www.pelicanbookgroup.com
PO Box 1738 *Aztec, NM * 87410
White Rose Publishing Circle and Rosebud logo is a trademark of Pelican Ventures, LLC
Publishing History
First White Rose Edition, 2016
Electronic Edition ISBN 9781611165227
Published in the United States of America
Dedication
To Lisa McCaskill...editor extraordinaire. I am blessed by your guidance and your prayers, and equally thankful to call you friend.
What People are Saying
"
Love Notions
brought fireworks indeed, throughout every chapter. I laughed, I cried. The love and trust that was shared with each of the characters was simply beautiful." ~ Sharon Dean
"I loved every book in the Lone Creek Ranch series...The characters are so real. I just can't decide what couple is my favorite. I guess, like a kid at the ice cream store, they all are my favorites. I will be reading them again!" ~ Brenda Morgan Weakley
"[Kate's Kisses] was a book that I couldn't put down! Loved the sweet story line..." Cheryl Brim
“The testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
~ James 1:3-4 ~
1
A chill nipped at Daylin Sullivan's cheeks as the diner's door swept open, welcoming the frigid night air. She lifted her gaze from the cup of muddy brew nestled between her palms to see a young couple wedge their way through the narrow entrance, the man's arm wrapped loosely around his girlfriend's shoulders. They might have been freshmen or possibly sophomores in college. It was hard to tell with their bulky, snow-dusted jackets and tousled hair spilling from beneath wool toboggans. The girl's eyes shone with a sparkle of innocence and her laughter tinkled merrily as they wound their way to a booth tucked back in the corner.
Young loveâ¦happy and carefree love. It was just the kind that made a couple forget every trouble in the world and believe their lives would never be touched with even the slightest shadow of heartache. It was the kind of love Daylin longed for and was convinced she'd never have.
Her dating scorecardâif it could even be called thatâtold the story. Teen years were pockmarked by a flurry of dates with guys she now realized she'd tried too hard to please. Her twenties brought another round of clumsy two-steps with men from the wrong side of the tracks. She knew she was an open and shut case for psychologists, easily dissected as someone seeking a place to belong, finding none that truly mattered, and with a history that could fill an entire series of books cover-to-cover. The product of a father she'd never known and a mother whose longest stint furloughed from the prison system amounted to eight monthsânot even long enough to birth a babyâDaylin had spent the better part of her childhood passed from one foster family to the next like the odd-man-out contestant in a game of musical chairs.
As thirty approached she'd sworn off men, instead choosing to cling to the books and sweet confections that had always been there for herâbest friends in a sea of heartache. And then she had the misfortune of intersecting paths with Todd Barker. Over the course of several weeks, she'd fallen once again back into the habit of trusting too quickly with her friendship and then her heart.
Four months into the relationship, she'd arrived at his law office with the giddy intention of surprising him with a picnic lunch. Instead of the intimately tender picnic she'd imagined, surprise soufflé had been served up to her on a silver platter when she slipped through the office doorway to find him lip-locked with another woman.
As she drained lukewarm coffee from her mug with a sigh, Daylin tried not to reflect too much on the reasons Todd had so easily discarded her for a newer, slimmer, and more fashion-savvy model. No point beating that puzzle to death. She set the cup back on the table and thought about ordering a second slice of apple pie. What would it hurtâjust one more slice of the warm cinnamon-apple confection with a scoop of vanilla-bean ice cream or perhaps a swirl of whipped creamâor both?
She patted her overstuffed belly, acknowledging that she wasn't even hungryâ¦at least not for food. Yet something gnawed at her, a yearning deep in the pit of her stomach that the food failed to fill, no matter how much she devoured.
“More coffee?” The fifty-something server flounced to the booth as she chomped a wad of gum tucked between her back teeth. Dark hair swept into a messy, stunted tail showcased wisps of gray tangled through the disheveled crown. A plastic, rectangular neon-blue nametag pinned to her uniform just below the right shoulder read simply, “Vera.” The waitress tucked a pencil into the front pocket of her wrinkled apron. “Or maybe I can getcha another slice of pie a la mode? As you know, it's a specialty here.”
Can she read my mind? Does she know I'd down
two
pieces of the sweet confection if she served them up right now, wash down the sweet flavor with a swig of coffee, and then request yet another slice?
And I'd regret the indulgence as soon as I passed by a mirror.
“No, thanks.” Daylin shifted uneasily in the seat and nudged aside the book she'd dog-eared midway through chapter nine, where the plot began to stutter and sag. “Just coffee. One more cup ought to do it.” She'd stay another few minutes and then head home. She couldn't bear the thought of ringing in the New Year alone in the confines of her quiet apartment. At least she was among people here at the diner, even if she wasn't actually
with
them. For the record, she wasn't with Todd, either. Good riddance. Daylin's cheeks flamed with the embarrassment of it all. Just when she'd begun to think there was potential for a long-term commitment in that arena, he'd cut her loose from the line with his betrayal. Daylin remembered the awful day like an embarrassing snapshotâthe way Todd had lifted his head when he heard the click of the office door, saw it was her, and, without missing a beat, tossed out a single, callous sentenceâ“
Sorry, but hanging out with you just isn't working for me.”
Hanging out? So that's what he thought they'd been doing. Good grief, were they still in high school?
Her guy radar was seriously messed up, and Daylin couldn't figure out how to recalibrate it. Not that it had ever been on the right track. Dating was like trying to craft an award-winning apple pie without fruit. With each passing day, things just seemed to be on the fast track to falling apart.
Well, what was done was done. There was no use crying over things that couldn't be changed. She might as well buy a passel of cats and a vacant house down a lonely, dead-end street and resign herself to becoming
that
lady.
Daylin groaned to herself. She was losing it, fast and furious. A few more nights like this and she just
might
end up as the proverbial cat lady. Maybe she would have that piece of apple pie after all. What would it hurt? It's not like one more piece would add a whole dress size to her wardrobe. And the warm, sweet flavor would bring welcome comfortâ¦at least for a few passing minutes.
She lifted a hand to signal Vera as music spilling from speakers segued to an oddly familiar version of “Auld Lang Syne.” Greatâthat was just what she neededâ¦a melancholy song. She wondered who crooned the subtly heart-wrenching lyrics and snapped her fingers as she wrestled for the answer, racking her brain but unable to come up with the artist's name. The tune was a particularly sad version, and she hoped it didn't allude to some kind of omen concerning the year ahead.
Get a grip. This year brings a clean slate, a fresh approach. You only get so many chances so pull it together.
Daylin shook her head as she quickly lowered her hand to the tabletop once more, deciding against the pie. She'd already had a piece along with a double cheeseburger, french fries, and three refills of soda. Sugar overload caused her pulse to skip and her head to thrum like a snare drum. No matter how tempting, she was sure to regret adding anything else to the mix.
She sighed and nodded fiercely against the temptation to give in to the darkness that threatened to envelop her.
No moreâ¦no more.
Summoning every ounce of willpower she could muster, she pushed her empty dessert plate from the edge of the table and shifted in the seat to gaze out toward the snow-crusted boulevard. She'd approach the New Year head-on rather than let it storm over her like the plow trucks that rumbled the street, battling a storm that threatened to dump another round of the white stuff along the road.
Engines rattled and hummed as one truck came to life, then another, and readied for battle. Oversized treads crunched the snow, leaving a pattern of crisscrossed marks as they wound their way into the night. As the sound faded and the trucks diminished to toy-car size in the distance, Daylin felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She sat back against the cushioned seat and watched Vera flit from table to table filling coffee cups and collecting soiled plates. No more wallowing in the mire of self-pity. Daylin vowed to plaster on a smile and sing a happy tune if it killed her. Lots of people had it rougher than she did.
Buck up, little camper, and hike up your big girl panties. It's time to pull your act together.
That's what her foster-care caseworker had once said as Daylin approached the telling age of eighteen. About to be dumped from the system and into society to fend for herselfâas if that wasn't what she'd done for the better part of her lifeâDaylin had realized with a paralyzing sense of dread just how alone she was.
She glanced at the clock over the serving counter as Vera scurried from table to table, a slight limp to her gait but her kind smile ever-present. Six minutes to midnightâthree-hundred and sixty seconds to another brand-spanking New Year. Daylin grabbed her purse and rose from the seat as Vera headed her way, toting a bulbous glass carafe. Steam swirled from the metal-rimmed opening and for the slightest moment, Daylin once again nearly caved into the thought of pairing a fresh mug with the pie that beckoned. She paused, considered slipping back into the booth and trading the smile that curved her lips for a mouthful of the sweet confection.
She squeezed her eyes shut tight and drew a deep breath as the sounds of the diner faded in and out for few moments. The clink of silverwareâ¦the strum of a holiday melodyâ¦laughter from the couple in the back corner.
Her recent overindulgence in sweets brought a measure of comfortâ¦a downy cocoon to curl in, until Daylin had caught a glimpse of herself in a department store mirror just last week. There was no denying the changes to her bodyâand to her attitude. Defeated and battle-weary from years of struggling for acceptance, even the simplest tasks took every ounce of strength. It had become so much easier to lose herself in a book and a bowl of ice cream than to face the fact that she felt broken to pieces on the inside and on the surface.
“Honey, are you OK?” Vera's voice drew Daylin back to the present.
She turned to find the woman staring at her with kind, fudge-brown eyes, her forehead creased with concern.
“No, thank you. I'mâ¦fine.” As if to prove it, Daylin inhaled deeply. Her belly expanded with the effort and the button of her slacks suddenly popped, shooting the evidence of her overindulgence toward a row of windows facing the boulevard. The plastic pinged against polished glass and then ricocheted across the tile floor. Mortified, Daylin's hand flew to her fleshy waist as she watched the navy plastic disc skitter beneath a booth seat across the aisle.
