Heartbreak Ranch (10 page)

He reached for another piece of bread and took great pleasure in smothering it in even more butter than he'd put on the one she'd swiped. Taking a deliberate bite, he chewed, swallowed and said, “I'm not worried. But I suppose you have to watch those calories pretty close. What with your weight problem, and all.”

Her eyes narrowed and he settled in to enjoy his meal.

“What weight problem?”

The fact that Julianne's figure had always bordered on the slender didn't enter into the situation. The verbal warfare was reminiscent of times past and helped mask the uncomfortable awareness of her that he couldn't seem to shake. He helped himself to two thick slices of roast beef, then passed her the plate. When she didn't immediately take it, he set it down beside her. Going to work cutting his meat, he lied, “Well, I overheard Gabe say the mare you've been riding has been coming back each day exhausted. Seems she's getting a little swaybacked, too. He thinks she's been carrying too heavy a load.” He laid down his silverware and winked at Annie as he took the bowl of mashed potatoes she was passing to him. “So I reckon Annie will understand if you don't want a helping of these.”

Julianne was toying with the knife next to her plate, looking as if she was contemplating throwing it. “Gabe never said that. Big liar. And I've never had to watch my weight a day in my life.”

“For goodness' sake, Jed, quit ribbing the girl. She's no bigger than a minute. If she ate any less she'd blow away.”

“Or roll,” he murmured, just loud enough to be audible. Deliberately, he set the bowl just out of her reach.

“I seem to recall that Jed's taste in women ran more toward the meaty.” Julianne got out of her chair and rounded the table, picking up the bowl of potatoes with one hand and deliberately jostling him with her elbow. He barely managed to right the glass of milk he was reaching for before he spilled its contents across the table.

Smirking, she slipped back into her chair and dished up a huge helping of mashed potatoes that she couldn't possibly eat in three sittings. “Remember Amanda Lassiter, Jed's lady love in high school?”

“Amanda,” he said, while pouring generous amounts
of gravy over his meat and potatoes, “was a gal with many hidden charms.”

“Hidden, my eye,” Julianne snorted. “With those low-cut tops, she had no secrets. And her jeans were so tight you could read the number of her MasterCard in her back pocket.”

He grinned. Her description was on the money, as usual. He hadn't thought of Amanda Lassiter in years. Despite Julianne's opinion, his taste had grown more subtle since his high school days.

“Honestly.” Annie got up from the table and fetched another carton of milk. “Listening to the two of you, a person would think you were a couple of kids, the way you squabble. And the gal Jed's dating now is a real nice woman. She's new to town. Carrie Fredericks is her name. Does the prettiest cross-stitch you've ever seen, too. Took a blue ribbon at the county fair last summer.” Her eyes twinkled as she sedately went about her meal. “So apparently he's learned something since high school.”

If he hadn't been looking at Julianne, he might have missed her reaction to Annie's words. Shock, certainly, followed by a fascinating flicker in her eyes, one that vanished when she caught him looking at her.

“Well, they say it's never to late to acquire taste,” she drawled, her voice dripping with doubt.

“Thought maybe you might have made a date yourself,” Annie said to Julianne, her voice teasing. “Who was that man who called earlier?”

Taking an inordinate amount of interest in her food, Julianne concentrated on cutting her meat into tiny pieces. “It was only Andrew. But the second call was from Shelby. Did you know she was home? She'll be at her dad's the rest of the week. Wanted to have a get-together
tomorrow night for some of the neighbors. You and Jed are invited.”

She chattered on to Annie, the conversation centering on what food to take, and Shelby's son, J.T., whose crying had brought the reunion to a quick close. Their words didn't register. Jed had stopped listening after she'd answered Annie's first question.

“What'd he want?”

Julianne looked at him with guileless brown eyes. “J.T.? His dinner probably. Shelby says he's growing like a weed and eats all the time. I can't wait to see him.”

His mouth tightened, and his voice went low and smooth, revealing none of the dangerous emotion trapped inside. “Andrew. What'd he want?”

Reaching for her glass, she took a drink before answering. “He wanted help.”

The defiance in her tone was reflected on her face. It lit the fuse of his temper as surely as a gasoline-soaked match. “You're not giving him any.”

Julianne's fork dropped to her plate. All semblance of eating was discarded. “I don't take orders from you, cowboy.”

Annie's gaze went from Jed to Julianne and back again. “Now, Jed. This is Julianne's business. You mind to your own and so will she.”

He gave a tight grin at the obvious untruth. “That would be the day. And I meant what I said. You're not helping your rich ex-husband out of this jam of his.”

She brought her napkin to her mouth and wiped her lips. “Ex-rich, actually. It appears he's a little short of cash.”

“It's not too hard to figure how he thought you could get your hands on some. The only time he was here all he could talk about was the value of this place.” She re
mained silent, and his gaze narrowed. “Is that it? He actually suggested you get the money from the ranch?”

“Can I interest anyone in pie?”

Annie's words went unanswered. Jed's gaze was fixed on Julianne, and he saw he'd guessed accurately. He rose.

“We'll discuss this in the study.” He half expected to get a fight from her, but her gaze flicked to the housekeeper, and then she stood.

“I'll be back for pie later, Annie,” she promised, and preceded Jed out of the room.

“Let's hope you're both in a condition to eat it by then,” the older woman muttered.

Jed closed the door behind him. Julianne remained standing in the middle of the room, facing him. “I didn't figure we needed to do this in front of Annie and upset her.”

“I agree.” Julianne stalked toward him. “That's the only reason I'm here.”

“You're not going to get a chance to bankrupt this place to bail out Richfield,” he said tersely. His body was tense, all his instincts on attack. No one threatened the ranch's security. Not ever. “So if you made him any promises, you'd better call him back and tell him he's on his own.”

“I didn't.”

Her words failed to register. The need to move did. He strode to his desk and absently picked up a book there, slamming it down in the next moment and whirling around. “Dammit, Jules, what the hell are you thinking, anyway? You wouldn't seriously consider putting the ranch in jeopardy for that wimp you married.”

Her head was cocked, and she was watching him warily. “No, I wouldn't.”

It was hard to think when his whole body was rigid with reaction. “I won't allow it. I stopped Harley when he was
intent on doing the same thing, and if you think you're going to threaten my home…” He stopped abruptly and stared at her. “What'd you say?”

“I said, no I'm not considering helping Andrew. But I'm more concerned with what
you
said. What was that about Harley draining the ranch?”

He ignored the question. “But you said you were…”

She shook her head. “There you go again, Sullivan, not listening. Have I taught you nothing? I said Andrew asked.” Her next words were simple and laced with sincerity. “I told him no.”

An emotion he couldn't identify as relief flowed through him. “You told me you felt sorry for him.”

The look she gave him was incredulous. “So I did, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to sell off part of the ranch for him. Assuming Harley is even ready to sign it over to me.”

He couldn't look at her. He picked up a glass paperweight in the shape of a horse that he kept on the corner of his desk. Julianne had given it to her father one Christmas years ago. Jed remembered how she'd saved for months to buy it. When Harley had taken off, he'd left it behind. Just as he had his daughter.

Because he was tempted to hurl it at the wall, he set it down deliberately. It wouldn't satisfy his destructive mood, at any rate.

“What did he want the money for?”

There was a pause, long enough to draw his gaze to her. Julianne lifted a shoulder. “Like I said, he's broke. Why don't you tell me what you meant about Harley?”

“You know how your father is. He gets in deep sometimes and looks for a quick source of cash. The ranch starts looking mighty inviting then.”

Her face went sober, her eyes hard. “He wanted to raid the ranch's finances.”

Feeling the need to move again, he circled the desk, trailing an absent hand over its surface, the oak bookcase behind it, the leather chair in front of the desk. Their touch comforted him. They felt solid and permanent, the way the ranch did. In a way that little else in his life ever had.

“He took as much as he could, while still leaving the ranch to limp along. It was in dire straits for a couple of years. We needed a transfusion of cash, fast.”

The distress on her face was easy to read. So was the guilt. “I didn't know about any of this.”

“You weren't here.” The words hung in the air between them. They were simple enough. They shouldn't have had the power to cause her to flinch and turn away.

“What's to stop him from doing it again? Sure, Harley's flush now, but you know as well as I how quickly that can change.”

“It won't happen again.” His voice was certain.

“But how can we be sure?”

“Jules.” He waited until she turned, looked at him. “I made sure.” When her mouth opened, he raised a hand to stem her words. “If you want to know more, take it up with Harley.”

“You bet I will,” she said grimly. “But right now you're here and I have something to take up with you. Why didn't you let me know about the problems with the ranch?”

He stared at her, a part of him noticing how the yellow shirt she wore clung and skimmed in all the right places, how it mirrored the brightness of her hair. He couldn't help noticing, couldn't help responding, but he could prevent it from touching him on any deeper level. “You weren't here, remember? You left.” And then, because the words
seemed too much like an accusation, felt too much like one, he added, “Besides, what could you have done that I couldn't?”

“I could have talked to Harley!” she exclaimed, eyes blazing. “I could have reminded him of his promise and maybe made him see what he was doing with this endless gambling….”

“The way you did with your husband?”

She looked as though he'd slapped her, and he felt an instant jolt of remorse. He wasn't accustomed to dealing deliberate hurt. But experience had taught him that hurt delivered casually could wound just as deeply.

She raised her chin, but her voice was shaky. “Sometimes you are really a bastard.”

He acknowledged her words silently. They were no less than the truth, both figuratively and literally. But it didn't stop him from starting toward her, the need to comfort an irrepressible urge.

He caught her before she got to the door, and stopped her with a touch on her shoulder. “Julianne.” It was all he could manage, but it was enough to keep her there, rooted to the floor.

Tucking his chin on top of that shiny gold head, he slipped an arm around her waist and applied just enough pressure to coax her to lean against him. It was the apology he couldn't voice, and had her legs been steadier it wouldn't have been effective.

For an instant, just an instant, he felt her weight against him, as if for once in her life the fight had streamed out of her and left her limp. It was a whisper of time, but it was long enough to stir memories of when he'd last held her, and of all the reasons he'd told himself it couldn't happen again.

As if she'd read his mind, she stiffened and turned to
face him. “I understand, you know. You don't think I can, but I do.”

“What's that?”

There was a faint tilt at the corners of her mouth, but her eyes were serious. “You. I know what it means to want to reach out and hang on tight to the one thing in your life that's stable. You love the ranch as much as I do. You always have.”

Because her words were too close to an echo in his mind, he lifted a shoulder casually. “I did what needed to be done. And I did it alone.”

His words put a distance between them that had nothing to do with the physical. Her gaze searched his, looking for answers that he couldn't, wouldn't give.

“I'd better go assure Annie that neither of us killed the other.”

He nodded and watched her turn and walk away from him.

As certain as if he could see grains of sand draining through an hourglass, he could feel time slipping away from him. He wondered how much longer he had before she walked away for good. Away from the ranch.

And away from him.

“G
irl, you're looking so good I'd hate you if I didn't love you so darn much.”

Julianne grinned at Shelby's wry tone and finished her barbecued rib with relish. “Nice try. To sound properly envious, of course, it would help to actually work some real jealousy into your voice. And if you could manage to wipe that smug expression off your face every time you look at Steve or J.T., I just might believe that you'd willingly trade places with me.”

Shelby laughed and tossed a chip at her friend. “Witch. I'm just glad that I never managed to convince Dad to put in a pool. If I had to watch all the men here ogle you in a bikini while I'm still struggling with the last ten pounds I gained with J.T., I might be driven to murder.” She waggled her brows in mock menace. “Hormones are uncertain in postpartum moms, you know.”

Blandly Julianne observed, “Really? Your hormones
sure seemed in working order when I surprised you and Steve in the kitchen earlier.”

To her amusement, Shelby colored. “Well, J.T. is several weeks old now, and Steve and I have been waiting…that is, I saw the doctor before we flew out here, and he said…”

“He gave you permission to wrestle Steve to the floor and have your wicked way with him?” Julianne suggested helpfully.

Shelby's eyes gleamed. “Which I plan to do at the earliest possible opportunity.”

Julianne laughed. She'd liked big blond Steve Carrington the first time she'd met him at Shelby's wedding four years ago. The man seemed to have settled into marriage and fatherhood with an ease she found at once enchanting and baffling. In her narrow field of acquaintances, she'd observed no other men who handled the responsibility of a family with such equanimity. Her friend was the lucky one, and she was certain the other woman knew it.

“So, how are you really?” Shelby asked. “How much damage did Andrew manage to inflict before you dumped him?”

Julianne released a breath. Shelby was never less than direct. “You didn't like him.”

“No,” she admitted without remorse. “Oh, he was exciting, I'll give you that. Living in the spotlight, skydiving, mountain climbing, squiring around rock stars and Hollywood beauties. I never doubted that you'd be good for him. I just didn't think he'd be good for you. I never understood why you married him.”

Julianne dropped her gaze. “I'm still working on that one myself.”

Shelby patted her leg. “Well, you've got time to figure it out. That's why you're home, isn't it?” Seamlessly she
shifted to a less sensitive subject. “I was a little surprised to be snubbed by Eleanor when the Poolers arrived. She was so frosty I could have scraped ice off her greeting.”

Julianne reached for her glass of lemonade. “That might be my fault. I attended the Cattlemen's bash in Helena with Jed a week ago and ran into Marianne.”

“Literally, I hope.”

She took a long drink, delighting in the simple pleasures of icy lemonade and her best friend's company. “I'm ashamed to admit that the mystery of how Marianne happened to find herself in the gym half naked has been put to rest.”

Shelby clapped her hands in delight. “Oh, you fiend. I suppose you took all the credit yourself.”

“I'll have you know I gave you your due.” Julianne ran a finger down the cheek that had been slapped. And then kissed by Jed, just minutes later. “I believe I owe you half a slap, in Marianne's name.”

“Damn!” Shelby exclaimed. “The pièce de résistance with Marianne Craig, and I missed it. You always get to have all the fun.”

“It was…an experience,” Julianne allowed. “Jed intervened before I could redo that nose job her parents bought for her, so there was no real damage done.” A slow smile crossed her face. “Except to her dress.”

“Jed.” Shelby cocked her head and fixed Julianne with an intent stare. “What exactly did you say you were doing with him in Helena?”

Julianne set her empty plate on the patio beside her lounger, then leaned her weight back and crossed her legs at the ankles. “With Jed?” She waved a hand carelessly. “Oh, nothing. He just thought I'd find it amusing.”

Her friend still had that eagle-eyed look about her, and her gaze hadn't wavered from Julianne's face. “Uh-huh.”

“Actually, it was entertaining, up to and including the scene with Marianne. And of course, I spoke to your dad there.” Growing increasingly uncomfortable under Shelby's scrutiny, she tapped a rapid tattoo on the side of her glass with the nail on her index finger. “He told you we talked, didn't he? He's looking really good. How's he been doing since your mom died?”

“Okay, I think. He's been to see us several times, and you still can't lie to me, so don't even try.”

Julianne raised a brow and willed her nerves away. “What are you talking about?”

A satisfied smile pulled at Shelby's mouth. “There. That casual pose, the nervous tapping, the geyser of words. I could always tell when you were hiding something. I was the one who thought up most of our alibis, remember?”

“Most of which lacked imagination.”

“Yours were too creative to be entirely believable. So,” she purred, leaning forward to scoot her chair closer to her friend's. “What exactly has been happening between you and Jed? Tell Auntie Shelby all about it.”

Despite herself, Julianne felt a glimmer of amusement. “There's nothing to tell. He thought I needed to get away from the ranch and offered to take me along. I went and enjoyed myself.”

“Oh, I'll bet you did. But what, exactly, did you enjoy? Or should I say, whom?”

Her scandalized tone not totally feigned, Julianne said, “Shelby! We're talking about Jed here.”

“Yes, we most certainly are.” Her gaze slid to the man in question, who was leaning against the edge of a picnic table, eating and talking to a group of neighboring ranchers.

Julianne's eyes followed the path of her friend's. She wondered if there was a color that didn't suit the man. The
red T-shirt was snugged into a pair of black jeans, providing a perfect foil for his dark looks. He looked relaxed, or as relaxed as he ever seemed to get. His teeth flashed then as he grinned at something one of the other men said, and her heart stuttered a beat.

Deliberately she dragged her gaze from Jed, only to meet Shelby's knowing smile.

“I've said it before, I'll say it again. It's too bad about that man's body.”

“What man?” Julianne asked blandly.

Her friend only laughed. “The one who has kept you in his sights the entire time you've been here.”

“Shel, get a grip. There're only a couple dozen people around.
Everyone's
in his sight.”

“Maybe so, but he doesn't keep shooting those little glances at everyone else. See? There he goes again.”

Julianne kept her eyes trained on her friend. “He's just checking to make sure I don't do something inappropriate, like dance naked on one of the picnic tables.”

“Why, has he caught you at that before? Or was it a private exhibition?”

Teeth grinding at her friend's good-natured persistence, Julianne replied, “Jed doesn't tolerate mistakes easily, and he's made no bones about what he thinks of my debacle in Florida. I'm surprised he didn't suggest using a leash on me when I leave the ranch.”

Shelby watched her concernedly. “Oh, Jules, are you sure? I know Jed could come down heavy when he didn't approve of something, but we were kids then.”

“Believe it. He catalogued my faults for me not a week ago. I didn't even start on his because there wasn't enough daylight left to do the job justice.”

Disappointment colored Shelby's tone. “You mean you two have been fighting the whole time you've been back?”

“Not the whole time.” Without invitation, the scene that had taken place on the balcony in Helena drifted across her mind like smoke curling under a door. There hadn't been disapproval in his kiss, she remembered. It had been hard, fierce and hungry. His hunger had torched hers, and despite her best efforts, the memory was still shimmering through her system, refusing to be exiled.

Realizing her friend was looking at her with renewed hope, she tucked that particular memory away and added, “Sometimes I manage to avoid him completely. Don't go fabricating happy endings for us, Shelby. I'm pretty leery of any relationship at this point, and Jed…well, I understand he has interests elsewhere.”

“You mean Carrie Fredericks?” Shelby waved a dismissive hand. “That's not serious.”

Unable to help herself, Julianne looked hard at her friend. “How on earth would you know that?”

Shelby grinned, smug. “Susan Gray at the post office. You remember Susan, don't you? Two years ahead of us in school? Anyway, I stopped in there yesterday and she filled me in on just about everyone around here. I have it on good authority that Jed and Carrie are only dating casually.” She winked. “He still has quite a reputation, but apparently has learned some discretion over the years.”

“You got all that from stopping in the post office?” Julianne didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed. The small town of Lisbon was twenty miles from the ranch. In Montana, that was considered no distance at all.

“Heck no, there's lots more. Bill Larkin and his wife in Arizona just had twins, the Barnetts are on the verge of bankruptcy, and if Mr. Finley at the general store raises his prices one more time he's going to put himself right out of business.” This was delivered in a tone so like Susan Gray's that Julianne couldn't prevent a laugh.

“You're a fountain of information, Shel.”

“I do what I can.” Shelby brushed crumbs from her lap and smiled a greeting to her approaching husband and son.

“There are my two favorite guys. How was the nap, tiger?” This was addressed to J.T., who was blinking owlishly.

“
Tiger
is a pretty apt description for the way he woke up,” Steve said. “What do you think, Julianne? He's got his father's good looks and his mother's charming personality, right?”

Julianne held out her arms. “I can only answer that question upon closer examination.” Steve put the baby in her arms, and he was surprisingly heavy.

“He's a moose, isn't he? He's already in the ninety-fifth percentile for his weight.”

“Has his father's appetite, too,” Shelby remarked.

Julianne wrapped the baby closer in her arms and dipped her head. He felt soft and warm and smelled of the uniquely baby scents of powder and sweet infant skin. She ran a gentle finger over J.T.'s downy cheek. She'd considered starting a family early in her marriage but had put it off, perhaps even then realizing that her husband was too much of a child himself to ever be a good father. She didn't regret that decision now, but the dream of a real family of her own lingered.

“He's a sweetheart,” she murmured.

“He can be,” Shelby said cheerfully. She raised a hand to her husband, who took it and helped her from the lounger. “But if I don't feed him pretty quickly you'll change your opinion in a hurry.” She bent down and took the baby from her friend, shifting him expertly in her arms. Glancing at her husband, she said, “You can come along, too, Daddy. You're on diaper detail today, remember?”

Steve groaned good-naturedly but didn't seem reluctant
to follow his wife and son into the house. Julianne watched them go with a slight smile on her face and a wistful feeling in her heart. When the couple was out of sight, she looked away and met Jed's gaze. A tendril of heat traced up her spine. Despite Shelby's prodding, despite her own confusion, she knew better than to get involved with Jed Sullivan. Andrew had been so needy, he'd almost managed to drain her emotionally. Jed was exactly his opposite, and much more dangerous.

Her index finger traced a line down the condensation of her glass. Jed would never be clinging and needy. He was the most self-contained man she'd ever met. Jed Sullivan didn't need anybody.

 

“Jed? What in heaven's name are you still doing up?”

He raised his gaze from the breeding magazine he was reading to see Annie highlighted in the doorway of his study, wrapped up in a robe.

“My lands, it's after two. Doesn't anyone go to bed around here?”

He looked at the clock on the wall, as if to prove her words. After the party had broken up around midnight, he'd been too wired to even consider sleep. He'd settled in the study for some paperwork and reading.

“I guess it is getting pretty late, at that,” he said finally.

“I should say so. I got up to get myself a glass of milk and noticed that Julianne's jacket wasn't there. Where on earth do you think that girl has gotten off to?”

Rather than tell the woman that he put quite a bit of effort into
not
thinking about Julianne, he gave a shrug. “Maybe she took it up to her room with her.”

Annie crossed her arms and began to tap her foot, a sign of her dwindling patience. “Now, don't you think I checked, once I saw her coat was missing? Her bed hasn't
been slept in and she's nowhere in the house. I looked on the porch and patio, too.”

He scrubbed his hands over his face, suddenly weary. “Well, she must be around somewhere. She came home with us, and if she'd left the ranch I would have heard an engine.” The silence stretched between them. He dropped his hands and noted the determined look on the housekeeper's face. He recognized that look from years ago. Rising, he muttered, “But I'll sure as hell go out and find her for you.”

“Thanks, Jed. I'm sure she must be around, but I wouldn't be able to sleep not knowing for sure.”

He paused in the mudroom to tug on his boots, his mood grim. Chasing after Julianne wasn't his idea of a perfect ending to an evening. There was no telling where she'd gone off to; he hadn't heard her go out. He slipped out the side door and headed toward the outbuildings. If her horse was missing, at least he'd know that she'd gone out for a midnight ride. More than likely she just went for a walk.