Heartbreaker (The Warriors) (20 page)

He nodded. "It took me time alone to understand that my ability to see, or not see, was never the real issue."

"What was the issue?" she asked.

She prayed that he’d come to terms with his self–doubt, because she’d never survive it if he lulled her into thinking they had a chance for a relationship and then walked out on her again.

"If I hadn’t let my ego get in the way, I would have understood far sooner the value of loving a woman and being loved by her in return."

Bliss couldn’t sit still any longer. Abandoning her chair, she crossed the room and paused at the bar. She filled a crystal tumbler with ice and poured Perrier over the cubes. When Micah’s hands settled on her shoulders, she jerked in surprise. Her drink slipped out of her hand, the crystal shattering in the bottom of the bar’s sink.

He forced her to turn around, and then held her still with his hands at her waist. "Talk to me. Tell me how you feel."

"Please don’t touch me," she whispered, her insides quivering with response. "It hurts too much to remember that. I don’t… " She blinked back the tears that filled her eyes. "… I don’t want to remember."

"You really don’t want to remember how good we were together?" he asked.

Bliss bowed her head and pressed her fingertips to her temples. His arms slipped around her. She rested her forehead against his chest, but just for a moment. "That’s all I ever seem to do."

"You’re not the only one. It’s constant. I can’t get you out of my mind."

She ducked away from him and made her way to a window that provided an extraordinary view of the city at night. Micah followed her, but he didn’t attempt to touch her again. He stood beside her, his hands jammed into his pockets as he stared at the twinkling lights that stretched for miles before them.

"I’m seeing the world differently now," he said. "I've never had anyone fight for me the way you did, and I didn’t even express the depth of my appreciation. It was a humbling experience to realize that I needed anyone so much. I couldn’t accept the idea of being dependent on you, because I’ve never known how to depend on anyone but myself. I’m not certain I can learn now and not feel compromised by the process."

Bliss felt her control slip. Her anxiety returned full force. She understood now, she realized. He was trying to let her down gently, and she was giving him the fight of his life. Still, he persisted, trying to make his point with words like
appreciation
and
dependence
.

She felt like an idiot. Exhaling softly, she wanted to change the adversarial tone of their conversation, wanted to make peace with him once and for all, because she couldn’t hate him. She loved Micah too much to reduce her feelings for him to a pile of ashes. She also loved him enough to do what was best for him. That apparently meant letting go of her dreams about sharing a life with him and wishing him well.

Bliss turned to face him. Somehow, she would forgive the pain he’d caused, although she didn’t expect to ever forget him. He obviously couldn’t love her in the way she needed to be loved. Could she find a way to accept an uncomplicated friendship with him? Not now. Perhaps someday, she told herself, but not now.

"Micah, there’s no need to subject yourself to this confession. Perhaps there’ll come a time when we can reclaim the friendship that started our relationship. I hope so, but this isn’t the time. It’s too soon for me. I still hurt too much. I want you in ways that clearly aren’t right for you, and I understand that now. Why don’t we both give ourselves some time to come to terms with what we shared? Let the memories fade. We can keep in touch through Cyrus."

His stricken facial expression baffled her. At the moment, all she wanted to do was rage and sob over the unfairness of the situation. Instead, she said, "It’s late, and I still need to pack."

"I was a fool to think you’d even consider taking me back, wasn’t I?"

She stared at him, certain she’d misunderstood him. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me, Bliss. I love you, but I didn’t want to be a burden, a burden you might learn to hate."

"You were never a burden!" she exclaimed, still not quite able to believe her ears. "Not ever, do you understand? I love you, Micah. Didn’t you believe me when I told you how I felt about you?"

"I wanted to, but I was sure you’d change your mind and decide that what you actually felt for me was empathy or pity, not love."

"I wish I’d realized how torn you were. I was so busy trying to keep my feelings separate from the reason Cyrus sent you to me in the first place, I guess I wasn’t thinking clearly half the time either."

Micah pulled her into his arms. He held her so tightly, he nearly cracked her ribs. He found her mouth then, plundering it with a thoroughness that weakened her knees and sent her pulse into overdrive. She felt a corresponding need shudder through his large frame, the same need that sent a surge of hard power into his loins. Bliss molded herself to him, loving the feel and the promise of his aroused sex until he abruptly separated their bodies.

Bliss steadied herself and stared up at him. Lifting her hands, she bracketed his head between her palms. "Listen to me, please. I believe in you, Micah. And I love… "

He shook his head. "Wait. There’s something you don’t know yet, and you need to hear it all before you say anything more."

She sobered when she saw his serious expression, and she put the brakes on her relief that he loved her. Something still troubled him. "Why don’t we sit down?"

They walked over to the couch. Micah sank down onto it and then drew her into his lap. Removing his glasses, he massaged the bridge of his nose.

Bliss decided he was gathering his thoughts. She found the patience to let him speak in his own good time, despite her concern about what he might say.

"My vision is only partially restored, and the doctors feel certain it will fail again. Probably within the next three to five years. Unless some pretty revolutionary technology comes down the pike between now and then, I will be permanently blind." He replaced his glasses and met her gaze. "Can you live with that? Can you really spend your life with a man incapable of seeing the results of your creative skill or the faces of our children as they grow up?"

She looked into his eyes. "It makes me sad for you, but it doesn’t frighten me. I fell in love with Micah Holbrook, the whole man. I will love you under any and all circumstances. As long as we’re together, I’ll be happy." Bliss slipped her arms around his neck. "With a bit of luck, you’ll see our babies, but it won’t matter to them as they grow up whether or not their father can see. What will matter to them will be your ability to make them feel secure in your love."

"You’re absolutely certain, Bliss? Once I have you, I won’t let you go."

"Would you leave me if I had an accident and lost the use of my legs?"

"Of course not. I love you, Bliss, more than my life."

"Then we’re both willing to take the same risks, aren’t we? I can’t remember a time since I was seventeen years old that I didn’t love you, but now I love you with the passion and maturity that makes a permanent commitment possible. Did you honestly think I’d have reservations about us because of your vision, especially after all we went through during your month on the island?"

He had the good sense to look chagrined. "I hoped you wouldn’t, but I wanted you to be certain, for both our sakes."

"My only concern is that you trust me to know what I want, because I want you, whether you can see or not. There’s an upside to the prognosis you’ve received from the doctors. You’ll have more time to prepare yourself, and I can help you." She smiled and she pressed a hard little kiss to his lips. "Since you didn’t protest the possibility of having babies, is it safe to assume we’re getting married?"

He laughed for the first time that evening. "Makes sense to me. Oh, I should warn you. Cyrus wants me on board as a security consultant once the Navy cuts me loose." Micah stood, keeping her cradled against his chest. "Where’s the bedroom in this place?"

Bliss grinned as she waved her hand in the direction of an open doorway. "Are we starting on the babies already?"

"Not this time, but soon." He nuzzled the side of her neck. "We have to call Cyrus first, anyway."

Miffed, she reminded him, "His permission isn’t required. I thought I already explained that to you weeks ago."

He dropped a gentle kiss on her parted lips. "I need to know when he’s available to escort you down the aisle."

"I’ll make sure he’s free on Saturday," Bliss promised.

Micah crossed the bedroom, tossing out an oblique comment about too many antiques as he made a beeline for the bed.

Seconds later, she knelt naked atop the mattress, Micah’s fingertips skimming the surface of her sensitive skin. "You’re still dressed," she pointed out breathlessly, her breasts firming and her nipples tightening to dagger points beneath his busy fingers.

He shed his clothes without any further urging. As Bliss watched the remarkable flex and flow of his muscled frame, she thought about the sculpture she intended to do of her future husband. It would be a nude and confined to their private collection, because she had no intention of sharing him with the world.

THE HEARTBREAKER
sculpture would also remain a part of their collection, but only as a symbol of her love for Micah.

He joined her then and drew her into his arms. "I love you, Bliss. I always will."

She smiled, emotion filling the brilliant blue of her eyes. "And I love you, Micah."

As he tucked her beneath him and gathered her even closer, he told her about all of the ways in which he intended to love her for the rest of their lives.

–End–