Heartless

Heather Redmond spent three years hiding from the world, her innocence lost and faith shattered.

She’s mastered the art of forgetting the past. Now she’s ready to face the future. College is on the horizon, and she’s enjoying a quiet summer in LA.

The last thing she’s prepared for is a hot guy jumping into her convertible while she's stopped at a traffic light.

Josh Hansen is Heather's opposite. He's fearless and sexy, racing through life on his motorcycle. And he always takes a leap when Fate gives him a wink. He can't resist the wide-eyed, pretty blonde who seems afraid of the world.

Josh is determined to push Heather's boundaries, body and soul. She's afraid of her awakening feelings, and wants to take things one step at a time, but Josh isn’t used to driving in the slow lane, and soon they are speeding into passion and love.

When their darkest secrets come to light, Heather and Josh are forced to confront the painful past and either find forgiveness, or lose their love forever.

It was Friday after 5 PM and the solstice sun still hung high in the sky over LA. I slipped on my shades to hold back the glare as I crossed the parking lot of the Color My Life paint store. Unlocking Aunt Marsha’s light blue Porsche Boxster, I settled onto the hot leather seats, turned on the engine, and pressed the button to retract the convertible top.

I turned on the stereo and pulled out into rush hour traffic. What was normally a ten-minute drive would take at least thirty minutes at this time of day. Aunt Marsha’s and Uncle Wayne’s house was no more than a thirty minute walk, tops, but I loved driving this car. I relished the feel of being behind the wheel. I looked and felt like a different kind of girl than the one I actually was. I looked carefree and confident, sassy and sexy. I was none of those things, but for an hour each day I could pretend.

I cranked up the music and started bopping to the beat. It was Friday! A girl like the one I was pretending to be would be TGIF-ing big time knowing she had a beach party to go to later with tons of friends, including a heap of hot guys. She would be psyched!

I, on the other hand, had a quiet weekend ahead of me: frozen dinners, Netflix, and ice cream. But I liked it that way, truly. My life had been pretty quiet, and pretty routine, for the past few years. What was different now was that I would have the entire house to myself for half the summer. Aunt Marsha and Uncle Wayne had left for their long-dreamed-of tour of Italy three days ago. They agreed I could live rent free for one more summer, before heading off to college, if I oversaw the kitchen renovation while they were away. Getting to drive Marsha’s convertible was a bonus.

I was probably the happiest person in rush hour today. Everyone else was frowning or barking into their headsets all anxious to get home to families, barbeques, or dates. I had the top down and the music on, and even though I couldn’t drive fast enough to tangle up my strawberry blond hair, I was soaking up the evening rays on my shoulders and loving every long drawn out minute of my ride home from work. When you haven’t been happy for a long time, it’s the little things that begin to wake you up to the possibilities of being happy again. And it just might be possible for me to have a happy future, so long as I didn’t dwell on the past.

I was too cautious to gun the yellow light so I didn’t make it through the intersection for the second time in a row. Someone behind me honked, one of the anxious ones I guessed, and I glanced in my rear view mirror. Maybe they weren’t honking at me. They might have been honking at a motorcycle threading its way through the backed up cars. I frowned. I hated that, it was so dangerous. Why did bikers take such chances? The roar and rumble of the engine got closer. It wasn’t just one guy, it was two on the bike, and they pulled up on my right side, unable to jump the intersection because of pedestrians and cross traffic. At least they were wearing helmets. I looked over at them and saw they were both looking at me. In my sunglasses, t-shirt and short shorts (Brian, my boss, didn’t care what I wore to work at the paint store, especially in the summer) and the music pouring out of the stereo, I looked like the kind of girl who might be on her way to a beach party. The motorcycle driver smiled through his visor. And since, in that moment, I felt like that beach party girl, I smiled back. Then the guy said something to his buddy perched behind him. I looked away for a second to check the light, which was still red.

When I looked back I saw that the driver had gotten off the bike—in the middle of traffic!—and his buddy behind him had shimmied up to grip the handlebars. What the heck? The guy was standing between two lanes of traffic with the light about to turn green! Wait, no he wasn’t…I choked back a scream as he placed a hand on the passenger door and vaulted over it as if it were a fence. I froze as he pulled off his helmet, and then I gasped. He was the hot guy the beach-girl would meet at the ' '; party later. No doubt about it. Dark brown hair, blue eyes to die for, charming soft-lipped smile, and a dimple in one cheek. In a deep sexy voice, he uttered three words.

“The light’s green.”

The motorcycle revved loudly and sped through the intersection. I heard several bursts of loud honking before I registered I was blocking traffic. My words—“Get out, what are you doing, don’t hurt me, I only have twenty dollars in my wallet, please don’t steal my car!”—were caught in my throat, so I did the only sensible thing I could think of. I put the pedal to the metal and raced forward, just as the light turned yellow. The cars behind kept honking.

“You can’t—who are—I have to—” The words didn’t make sense because I was hyperventilating as I coughed them up. I tried to guide the car across the right lanes to the side of the road. I was shaking all over.

“It’s all right,” he said. “Don’t be scared. I’m Josh. I just want to ask you out.”

I had only managed to move one lane over and there was no stopping on the street at this time of the day so I just kept driving, slowing down as the traffic backed up at the next light.

“You ask girls out by hijacking their cars? What kind of psycho are you?”

“Not the Hitchcock kind. I promise. Seriously, you were just so cute sitting there grooving to your tunes. I couldn’t help myself.”

She was cute? Grooving to tunes?

“Who
are
you?”

“Josh, I told you. Josh Hansen. Will you tell me your name?”

“No!” I was still shaking.

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“Is it close by?”

“Yes, um. No!”

Shit! Why did I say that? Now I would have to pretend I lived somewhere else, go a different direction, throw him off my trail.

“I think you should get out of this car. Where’s your friend?”

He waved his hand forward. “Probably miles from here now .”

Up ahead, I saw a driveway. I eased into the far right lane and put my signal on. “I’ll pull over here.”

I was trembling all over, and not just from the shock of his sudden appearance in the car beside me, though adrenaline was pumping through my veins double time. His proximity unnerved me because his presence felt dangerously magnetic.

“Aren’t you going to take pity on me and give me a ride somewhere?”

“
Give
you a ride? You just
took
one without asking.” I tried to be cool, in control, as I pulled into a parking lot but didn’t take up a space.

“Seriously, you’re just going to dump me here?”

“Yes.
Seriously
.” I took off my sunglasses to show him just how serious I was. He gasped when his blue eyes met my hazel ones.

“What?” I said.

He looked away, recovering his breath or something. “Um…”

My gaze had rendered him speechless? That was a first.

I tired to be civil. “Listen, uh…?”

“Josh.”

“Right, Josh. I appreciate the freaky compliment, but you’re barking up the wrong tree. I don’t date.”

I only pretended to be beach-girl. I wasn’t really her. I was a messed up trauma case still in recovery.

He watched me quizzically for a few moments before asking, “Why did you say ‘this car’? Why didn’t you say ‘my car’?”

He steeled his jaw and looked me in the eyes. His blue eyes were cool and warm at the same time, and his dark lashes framed them to make them look deep and mesmerizing. I saw genuine curiosity in those eyes, and appreciation. I was ninety percent sure he did not have violent intentions. I realized I had been holding my breath and I let it all out in a deep sigh.

“It’s my aunt’s car. I’m just borrowing it for the summer.”

“The whole summer?” Weird question, but I nodded.

“So that means you’re living around here for the summer? Maybe you work nearby since you’re driving in rush hour? Some place pretty casual to be wearing what you’re wearing…” He glanced at my hands. “Some place with… paint…?” I had a few spatters under my nails, from mixing colors for customers.

The whole psycho thing was coming back. I gripped the steering wheel. “Get out of the car.”

“Wait! I’m sorry.”

“Get out.” I said it evenly and seriously, even if my voice was a bit more high-pitched than usual.

He threw his head back and let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine,” he muttered.

He vaulted out of the seat without using the door. Then he leaned in to retrieve his helmet. That’s when I noticed his muscles. They piked up through his T-shirt. And he was tanned, as if he worked outside. He wore faded jeans with a few tears in them, and boots, which must be hot in this weather, but I guessed were necessary for riding a motorcycle.

“What do you do?” I asked, suddenly curious. “For a living?”

He grinned at the question, and his teeth were like tiny unused billboards screaming ‘rent me now’. I blinked, feeling a flutter in my stomach.

“What’s the answer worth to you?” he said.

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

He glanced over his shoulder. “You pulled into a Dunkin’ Donuts, at least have coffee with me? We can play twenty questions.” He offered a dazzling smile with just the right amount of crookedness mixed with a puppy dog stare. I swallowed hard. I was so tempted. I truly was. Beach-girl wouldn’t have hesitated. But I wasn’t beach-girl.