Heartless: The Parasol Protectorate: Book the Fourth (41 page)

Lady Maccon turned ponderously. “Well?”

“Invite us in to stay, Alexia Maccon, Lady of Woolsey, mistress of this domicile.” The countess’s words were singsong and hymnlike. She clutched a wide-eyed, blubbering Quesnel tightly to her breast—no trace of the scamp left, just terrified boy.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, come in, come in.” Alexia frowned, trying to think. They had a goodly number of rooms, but where would it be best to put a whole hive of vampires? She pursed her lips. “Best to get you lot down to the dungeon. It’s the only place I can guarantee that there are absolutely no windows, and the sun
is
about to rise.”

Rumpet came forward. “Lady Maccon, what have you done?”

The vampires traipsed solemnly into the house. Alexia pointed out the appropriate staircase and they filed wordlessly down.

“You have invited in a queen?” The butler, normally quite a florid man, was ashen.

“I have.”

The Duke of Hematol gave her a tired smile as he passed, showing fang, acknowledging the butler’s fear as his due. “We can never go back now, you realize, Lady Maccon? Once a queen swarms and relocates, it is forever.”

Lady Maccon finally understood Lord Akeldama’s smile and why he refused to invite the hive in for tea. Alexia had managed to get his greatest rival out of London,
for good. Not only was he potentate, and in charge of his own ring of very specially trained young men, but also he would now be the sole leader of fashion left in central London.

And Lady Maccon was stuck with vampires in her basement. “Curses, I have been rather neatly played.”

Another contraction hit her, and she had no more thought for her present domestic predicament. She suspected this was somewhat akin to the pain her husband felt upon changing shape.

Rumpet put out a hand to steady her. “My lady?”

“Rumpet, there is an octomaton on our doorstep.”

“So I noticed, my lady. And half of BUR has just arrived as well.”

Alexia looked. It was true. Several of BUR’s human members, on the octomaton’s trail out of London, had finally caught up. She thought she could see Haverbink’s tall, strapping form. “Oh, God. The pack will turn on them, they’re food.” And even as she watched, one of the werewolves left off fighting Madame Lefoux’s creature and charged one of the BUR agents. “We must protect them. Get the pack members back inside!”

“Indeed, madam.”

“Call up the clavigers. Tell them to bring the necessary equipment and open the silver cabinet.”

“Immediately, madam.” The butler moved toward a nested triangular alcove formed by the staircase. Next to the large cowbell that he rang at mealtimes there dangled a silver chain. At the end of that chain was a silver key. Next to it was a special glass box containing a large horn. Rumpet broke the glass with one swift punch of his gloved hand. He placed the horn to his lips and blew.

Not the most dignified of sounds emanated forth, a kind of farting noise. But it rattled through the castle in a way that suggested the sound had been manufactured specifically to permeate rock. The clavigers instantly assembled around Rumpet in the hallway. Pack policy dictated that every pack member have at least two clavigers. Lord Maccon had six these days, and there were a few extras loitering about as well.

Rumpet used the key to open the silver cabinet, an old mahogany monstrosity that gave no clue as to its true contents. Inside, instead of the usual household valuables—candlesticks, baby spoons, and the like—was the claviger kit. Displayed in neat rows and on special hooks were silver manacles, enough pairs for every member of the pack; silver knives; a few precious bottles of lapis lunearis; and, most importantly, the fishing nets. These were spun of silver cord, weighted at the corners, and used to capture and weaken a wolf without damage. Dangling from little hooks in each door were fifty fine silver chains with fifty fine silver whistles.

The clavigers, grim-faced, armed themselves and took up the nets. Each put a whistle over his head. They were so high-pitched that no human ear could possibly make out the sound, but wolves and dogs were violently affected by the noise.

Alexia thought of something. “Try to bring in Biffy first. Remember he’s still susceptible to pup-stage sun damage. Take care—he’ll be the most vicious. Oh, my goodness, what will I say if he accidentally eats somebody?”

Six of the biggest and best clavigers ran to the stables, and Alexia heard the roaring sound of the steam-powered penny-farthing wagons starting. Two clavigers per wagon—one
to steer and one to cast the net—they roared out and down the hillside, steam trailing in a white cloud behind them. The other clavigers ran after.

Lady Maccon witnessed very little of the battle after that. She leaned against Rumpet and tried to watch, but contractions kept distracting her, and the fighting below was nothing more to her unfocused mind than a puddinglike mass of clavigers, wolves, and steam from penny-farthings and an octomaton. Occasionally, a spurt of fire jetted into the air or a glittering waterfall of silver net was cast upward.

Eventually she gave up. “Rumpet, help me to the bottom of the stair.” The butler did so, and Alexia sank gratefully down onto the steps of the grand staircase. “Now, please go down and ensure that the vampires are locked in. The last thing we need is them on the loose.”

“At once, my lady.”

Rumpet disappeared and returned later, grim-faced.

“That bad?”

“They are complaining about the accommodations and demanding feather pillows, my lady.”

“Of course they are.” Alexia doubled over in pain as another contraction ripped through her. Dimly, she saw Lord Akeldama’s dirigible float in to a graceful landing in the front courtyard of Woolsey. Boots and the airship company leaped agilely out of the basket and lashed the craft to a hitching post.

The first set of clavigers returned at that point, dragging a netted wolf with the aid of a penny-farthing wagon. It took four of them to get him up the steps and into the castle, even with the silver net burning him into submission. It wasn’t Biffy, but it looked to be one of the other youngsters, Rafe.

Alexia’s attention was refocused into moaning as her pains became, if possible, worse. She looked for Rumpet, but he was busy supervising the unloading, seeing to it that the young wolf was dragged down into the dungeon and locked away. Alexia spared a moment to hope that all the vampires had gone into one of the cells together, or things were about to get very complicated, indeed.

“Conall!” she yelled through the pain, even knowing he was in wolf form and that he would be the hardest to catch and the last to return home. “Where is he?” She was irrationally convinced that he should be with her right that very moment.

At which juncture, a wide, cool cloth was placed across her brow and a soft reliable voice said exactly the right thing. “Here, madam, drink this.”

A cup was pressed against her lips and Alexia sipped. Strong, milky, and restorative, exactly how she liked it best. Tea.

She opened her eyes, previously screwed closed in anguish, to see the fine lined face of an elderly gentleman, nondescript and familiar. “Floote.”

“Good evening, madam.”

“Where did you come from?”

Floote gestured behind him where the dirigible was still visible through the open front door. Tizzy and Boots hovered in the doorway, looking at Alexia in horror and with an air that suggested they would rather be anywhere else but there.

“I caught a lift, madam.”

“Eep!” squeaked Tizzy as he was pushed aside by another group of clavigers dragging another netted wolf home.
Hemming,
thought Alexia.
Had to be.
Only Hemming
whined like that. They muscled their captive through the hallway and toward the dungeon stairs without need of an order from the panting and writhing Lady Maccon.

The previous group came back up, passing them on the stairs.

“Back out,” ordered their Alpha female, “and concentrate on finding Biffy. The others can take the sun.”

“I thought werewolves could withstand sunlight?” asked Boots.

Alexia moaned long and low before answering. “Yes. But not when still learning control.”

“What’ll happen to him if he doesn’t make it in?”

Rumpet reappeared at that juncture. “Ah, Mr. Floote.” He acknowledged his butler peer with a slight bow.

“Mr. Rumpet,” replied Floote. And then, turning his attention back to Lady Maccon, “Now, madam, do concentrate and try to inhale deeply. Breathe through the pain.”

Alexia glared at her butler. “Easy for you to say. Have you ever done this?”

“Certainly not, madam.”

“Rumpet, did all the vampires get sorted?”

“Mostly, my lady.”

“What do you mean,
mostly
?”

The conversation paused at that while everyone waited courteously for Lady Maccon to let out another part scream part howl of anger as the agony rippled through her body. They all pretended not to notice her thrashing. It was very polite of them.

“Well, a few of the vampires spread themselves about. So we’ll have to put some of ours in with them.”

“What’s the world coming to? Vampires and werewolves sleeping together,” quipped Alexia sarcastically.

One of the clavigers, a cheerful, freckled blighter who had performed Scottish ballads for the queen herself on more than one occasion, said, “It’s quite sweet, really. They’ve snuggled up with each other.”

“Snuggled? The wolf should be tearing the vampire apart.”

“Not anymore, my lady. Look.”

Alexia looked. The sun was up, its first rays cresting the horizon. It was going to be a bright, clear summer day. It was all too much, even for the most sensible preternatural. Lady Maccon panicked. “Biffy! Biffy’s not yet inside! Quickly!” She gestured the clavigers. “Get me up. Get me out there. Get me to him! He could die!” Alexia was starting to cry, both from the pain and from the thought of poor young Biffy lying out there, burning alive.

“But, my lady, you’re about to, well, uh, give birth!” objected Rumpet.

“Oh, that’s not important. That can wait.” Alexia turned. “Floote! Do something.”

Floote nodded. He pointed to one of the clavigers. “You, do as she asks. Boots, you take the other side.” He looked down at his mistress. Of course, Alessandro Tarabotti’s daughter would be difficult. “Madam, whatever you do, don’t push!”

“Bring blankets,” yelled Lady Maccon at the remaining clavigers and Rumpet. “Rip those curtains down if you must. Most of the pack is out there naked! Oh, this is all so embarrassing.”

Boots and the freckled claviger formed a kind of litter by linking their crossed arms and hoisted Lady Maccon up. She threw an arm around each, and the two young men part ran and part stumbled their way back out the
door and down the seemingly endless hillside toward the carnage below.

The octomaton was down, the result of too many of its tentacles torn off during battle. As she neared, Alexia could see the now-naked bodies of the pack lying fallen—bloodied, bruised, and burned. Scattered among them were the severed tentacles of the octomaton plus some of its guts: bolts, pulleys, and engine parts. Here and there, a claviger or BUR member who hadn’t moved fast enough was limping or clutching at a wounded limb, but thankfully none of them seemed seriously injured. The werewolves, on the other hand, lay floppy and nonsensical, like so much fried fish. Most of them looked like they were simply sound asleep, the standard reaction to full-moon bone-benders. But none were healing under the direct rays of the sun. Even immortality had its limits.

Clavigers were running around covering the ones they could with blankets and pulling others back toward the house.

“Where’s Biffy?” Alexia couldn’t see him anywhere.

Then she realized there was someone else she couldn’t see, and her voice rose in terror to a near shriek. “Where’s Conall? Oh no, oh no, oh no.” Alexia’s commanding tone turned into a chant of keening distress only offset by the need to scream as another contraction hit her. She loved Biffy dearly, but all her worry was now transferred to an even more important love—her husband.
Was he injured? Dead?

The two young men carried her, tripping and faltering, in and around the wreckage until, near the great metal bowler hat that was the fallen head of the octomaton, an oasis of calm awaited them.

Professor Lyall, wearing an orange velvet curtain wrapped about him like a toga and still looking remarkably dignified, was marshaling the troops and issuing orders.

Upon seeing the amazing vision of his Alpha female, carried by two young men, in clear distress—both the lady and the young men—wending toward him, he said, “Lady Maccon?”

“Professor. Where is my husband? Where is Biffy?”

“Oh, of course, preternatural touch. Very good idea.”

“Professor!”

“Lady Maccon, are you all right?” Professor Lyall moved closer, inspecting her closely. “Have you
started
?” He looked at Boots, who raised both eyebrows expressively.

“Where is Conall?” Alexia practically shrieked.

“He’s fine, my lady. Perfectly fine. He took Biffy inside, out of the sun.”

“Inside?”