Hearts Awakening (18 page)

“Every year for the full moon at harvesttime, which is July through October. There really is a tree that looks exactly like that. You’ll see it after supper when we go outside for our little celebration, but I’m sure your husband explained all that,” Alice offered without leaving her task.

Reluctant to tell the woman otherwise, Ellie kept her questions to herself and walked back to the table. “May I help you with something?”

Alice set the last piece of bread onto the plate and started slicing another loaf. “And risk getting something on that pretty gown of yours? Just sit and keep me company. Next time, don’t bother changing from everyday, especially when you visit us. We’re just regular folks.”

Ellie pressed her lips together. By the standards of the day, the gown with just a bit of lace at the collar saved it from being overly plain. The gown’s narrow skirts made it old-fashioned, but Alice was right. The thin fabric and light color made the garment hardly suitable for ordinary wear.

Grizel giggled. “Mother, don’t be silly. Mrs. Smith didn’t dress pretty just for us.”

Ellie’s cheeks burned as she wondered what either of them would say if they knew the real nature of her marriage.

“I apologize for my daughter. She can be as outspoken as her great-grandmother,” Alice said before casting her daughter a frown.

“There’s no harm done.”

“You’re kind to say so,” Alice countered. “If you’d really like to help, maybe you could let Gram know that supper will be ready soon, which will give me a few moments alone with my daughter to remind her of her manners. Gram’s room is the last one to your right,” she said, then shook her head. “No, it’s the last one to my right. It’s to your left. Just be sure to knock hard. She still hears as good as most, but she tends to nod off about this time of day.”

Ellie nodded, but looked over to where the men and children were playing and caught Jackson looking at her. Before she could say anything, he simply nodded and turned his attention back to the game again without as much as a smile to let her know he was glad she was there. Disappointed, she went to Gram’s door and knocked. Then knocked again, harder this time.

“Come on in.”

She opened the door and winced at the creaking sound it made. To her surprise, the light that filtered into the small bedroom now that the door was open was no match for the light within. The aged woman must have had half a dozen candles burning on the chest of drawers next to her bed, and there were another two burning on either side of the chair near the open window where she was sitting, an open Bible on her lap.

“Ellie! You came after all,” she said, closing her Bible. “Close the door and sit with me a spell before I have to share you with all the others.”

She hesitated. “Alice just wanted me to tell you that supper will be ready in a few minutes.”

“Nonsense. My nose is telling me supper won’t be ready for a good half an hour yet. Sit right down there on the bed so I can see you best.”

Ellie closed the door behind her. “I’m sorry I’m a bit late.”

“You got here tonight for the celebration, which is more than I can say for Jackson’s first wife, may she rest in His peace.”

Ellie eased onto the foot of the bed, directly across from Gram. “Rebecca didn’t come for the celebration?”

The aged woman shook her head. “Not once she got married. She told Jackson she’d done it enough as a child, and he couldn’t change her mind any more than her father could,” she explained. “Did Jackson bother to tell you tonight’s tradition?”

“No, he didn’t,” Ellie said, at ease returning the woman’s frankness with her own after the single visit they’d had several weeks ago.

“I suspected as much.”

Ellie laughed. “You know him that well?”

“I’ve known that boy since the day he first set foot on this island looking for a place to plant his own roots, but that’s a tale for another day.” Pausing, she leaned toward Ellie, stared into her eyes for a few moments, and shook her head. “Having a bit of trouble with him, are you?”

Ellie averted her eyes for a moment, wondering if the elderly woman could actually see the truth about the odd marriage she and Jackson were sharing. “Trouble? No, I just—”

“Every new bride has a bit of adjusting to do,” Gram said gently. “I suspect you’ve already discovered that being Jackson’s bride is a lot more difficult than you thought it would be.”

Ellie swallowed hard. As much as she wanted to seek Gram’s advice, she was mindful of her own insistence that no one, other than Ellie and Jackson, would ever know that their marriage was in name only.

Before she could think of anything to say that would not invite more questions, however, Gram raised her hand. “I suppose you think I’m more nosey than most, and you’d probably be right. That said, there’s something I want to share with you, if you’d care to hear it.”

Ellie nodded, but when she went to twist the wooden ring on her finger, she realized she had forgotten to put it back on again.

“In a way, Jackson’s no different from the rest of us. He’s not perfect, even though he likes to think he is, and his faith isn’t all it should be. But the truth of the matter is that we’ve all got cracks in our spirits, and we have to remember they’re only there because we need them.”

Ellie furrowed her brow. “We do?”

“Of course we do. Otherwise, how could God’s grace filter in deep enough to give us the joy and peace we’re all searching for in this world? It couldn’t, plain and simple.”

“I never thought of it quite that way before,” Ellie murmured, hopeful Gram was not able to see how very cracked Ellie’s own spirit had become.

Gram chuckled. “When you get to be as old as I am, all you have time to do is think. And pray. I know Jackson doesn’t seem much interested in keeping his faith strong right now, but if you pray for him, like I do, he’ll find his faith again. And I suspect you will, too.”

Surprised by the aged woman’s insight, Ellie dropped her gaze. “I . . . I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything right now, but if you ever want to chat about anything, I’ll be sitting right here, ready to listen,” Gram offered and patted Ellie’s arm. “That’s sure a pretty dress you wore today.”

Grateful to change the topic of their conversation, Ellie shook her head. “Alice said I shouldn’t have worn it.”

“Don’t pay her any mind. She’s a ninny. A good woman, but a ninny at times. You dress to please that husband of yours and don’t worry about her.”

Ellie let out a sigh. “In all truth, I didn’t have another gown to wear,” she began and told the sorry tale of her battle with the cookstove. “I won’t know if my work gown is completely ruined until I try to launder out the stains. Until then, since this is the only other gown I have, it will have to suit just about anything I do. Unfortunately, I also singed every apron I own and the two I could find in the kitchen, so I’ll have to be very careful not to soil this gown.”

“You can’t make do with two gowns,” Gram argued and pointed to the several gowns she had hanging on the wall next to her door.

“It hasn’t been a problem before,” Ellie countered.

“Well, it obviously is now. If you have the good sense I think you have, you’ll let Jackson know what you need, whatever that might be. Speak up for yourself. He’ll respect you for it, but more important, you’ll respect yourself,” she said.

Leaning forward, she lowered her voice. “I just happen to know he had an account with a number of shops for Rebecca, including Mrs. French’s. I doubt he’s given any thought to closing them, but if he did, then tell him to open them again for you. Get some fabric for yourself on Market Day and make yourself a new gown or two.”

Ellie thought of the incident from two days ago. “I will. Soon,” she promised as she mulled over Gram’s advice. On the day he proposed, Jackson had mentioned something about having accounts in town, although she was reluctant to approach him about using them so soon after their misunderstanding at market.

“Don’t wait too long,” Gram suggested. “Now, in the meantime, I can help you with a few more aprons. Take a peek into that second drawer over there and take whatever you like. I don’t need as many as I have.”

“I couldn’t possibly—”

“Yes you could, unless you want to disappoint a very old lady who doesn’t get the chance to do much for anyone else these days,” she prompted and sniffed the air. “Supper’s just about ready, so hurry yourself.”

Ellie did not have the heart or the energy to argue. She found the aprons stored in the drawer easily enough, but frowned as she sorted through them. All of them had been skillfully embroidered, and there was not a stain on a single one of the aprons. “I really shouldn’t take any of your aprons.”

“Why not?”

“B-because I’m afraid I’ll ruin them doing housework, just like I ruined the others.”

“Fine. Then they can continue to sit in that drawer and rot from lack of use rather than serving a good purpose,” she teased. “Go on, take three or four, or else I’ll have to get these old bones out of this chair and do it for you.”

“Fine, but I’m only taking two. If I need more, I’ll let you know,” Ellie said and took the two aprons lying on top. When she held them up for Gram to see, she realized the aprons were made for a much smaller woman. Reluctant to hurt Gram’s feelings by declining her generosity now, she refolded them and laid them on her lap when she sat back down on the bed. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. You might want to wear one later when we go outside for the celebration, but since this is your only gown at the moment, you probably shouldn’t plan on doing much climbing tonight. Don’t worry,” she said, patting Ellie’s lap. “You won’t be the only one. I quit that part of the tradition when I turned ninety-four. You can keep me company watching while the others do.”

Ellie gasped. “Y-you climbed trees until you were ninety-four?”

“No, not trees. I haven’t climbed a tree since I was a girl. I meant ladders, but you’ll see that for yourself soon enough. Tell me about little Ethan. Is he talking at all yet?”

“No,” Ellie admitted and shared the details of the conversation she and Jackson had had with Daniel. “Do you think it’s possible that Ethan is talking to his brother? Or do you think Daniel’s just using Ethan as a way of explaining Daniel’s own confusion over losing his mother?”

“Anything’s possible,” the woman replied and tapped the Bible on her lap. “I really can’t see well enough to be able to read the words anymore—”

“But weren’t you reading when I knocked at your door?” Ellie asked.

“Not with my eyes, Ellie. I’ve read the Good Book so many times, I can see the words in my head and I can feel them in my heart when I run my fingers over the pages,” she explained. “God’s never abandoned anything or anyone He’s ever created, and I don’t believe He’s done so with those two boys. Daniel and Ethan are just learning that faith lesson a little younger than most people do,” she said, with as much authority as Reverend Shore had when he stood in his pulpit to preach.

Ellie sighed. “I keep praying He hasn’t, but how can you be so sure?”

Gram tapped her Bible again. “Because I truly believe He brought you here to those boys and to Jackson, too. He needs you as much as his sons do. He just doesn’t realize it yet, and neither do you.”

Seventeen

A full moon illuminated the landscape. As always, ever since his father-in-law’s death, Jackson led the group to the ancient tree, and as always, memories of celebrations from times past walked alongside him. The first time he had celebrated a harvest at full moon on Dillon’s Island, he was eighteen years old. Except for the man who had become his mentor, James Gladson, he had been alone in the world, without family or friends to care about him.

Now, eight years later, Dorothea, the first and only love of his life, was married to another man. His father-in-law and mentor, as well as his first wife, were dead. His second wife was merely his partner in a marriage based on duty and need, not affection. The Grants had become his friends, and he now had all the family he needed: his two sons.

The path that led from the Grant cabin, Gladson’s original homestead, was narrow, and he held Daniel’s hand as he led the others. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that Ethan had already given up walking. He was settled contentedly on Ellie’s hip, which undermined Daniel’s assertions about Ethan’s feelings toward her, at least for the moment.

But Jackson could not blame Ethan for being confused about his feelings for Ellie. For he, too, felt at odds within himself regarding this woman he had married.

“It’s not much farther,” he said, noting that the Grants had fallen back to accommodate Gram. At her age, the fact that she was able to walk as well as she did was a marvel, but he could not imagine this celebration without her and slowed his pace.

Daniel yanked on his hand. “Can’t we go faster, Pappy?”

“Gram can’t walk as fast as we can. She needs some help walking this far, so the Grants—”

“I’ll help her,” he cried, charging back to his brother. “Come on, Ethan. You can help Gram, too.”

Ethan clambered down from Ellie’s hip, but she held his hand fast and looked to Jackson for permission to let go.