Heart's Betrayal (16 page)

“He went home. His wife picked him up. We’ll keep in touch. Feel better.” He continued to walk out with Dave.

     Michael kissed me on my cheek. He whispered,

“I love you. We’ll meet up with Steve this week to thank him formally. Even though I thanked him a millions time today. I know how much that would mean to you.” He kissed my forehead tenderly.

“Thanks, Michael, I want to go home.” I reached out to him and he held me against his chest.

“Jenesis, I have a plan. We can move away where no one could find us, not even Dave. We’ll live our lives alone where no one can hurt us…you and me. What do you think?” His eyes were sincere, but fearful.

“Why do we have to move where no one can find us? Why are we running from Dave?” I was confused and I didn’t like what he was telling me.

“Jenesis, I love you, that’s all that counts. Dave doesn’t need to be in the picture anymore. Let him start his life over with someone else, without us…I can take care of you now…you don’t need him.” He leaned in to kiss my lips and I pulled away.

“But he’s been in my life
,
ou
r
life, he’s been like a father to me, even though, he’s been acting really strange lately, we know why…it was Margaret, she was cheating on him. I can’t walk away from him now.” I freed myself from his embrace. I didn’t want to leave Dave behind and start a new life without him.

“Look, let’s just go, we don’t need anyone, just us. Don’t say anything to Dave. Act like nothing is going on, he doesn’t have to know, please, Jen.” His tone was adamant. “We’re staying in a hotel for the next couple of weeks. Our things, as we speak, are being boxed and moved into storage. I’m looking for a place in Putnam County.”

“Putnam? Where the hell is Putnam? Just like that, Michael, are you sure?”

“Jenesis, you were almost killed. We are not negotiating your safety or the future safety of my babies. One loss is one too many, two losses…is unforgiving.” His eyes were welling with tears. I could hear the frustration in his voice, but I didn’t understand why Dave was being pushed to the side. He even seemed frightened.

“My God…it seems so drastic, so unfair to Dave. I hope we’re making the right move.” I was so worried. I didn’t want to hurt Dave. I loved him…
no matter what.

“You don’t have to do a thing everything is being done for you. I have to keep you safe. Rest for a while, don’t say anything to Dave. Right now we ordered some lunch. We’ll be sitting right here in this corner. Close your eyes and take a nap.” He ordered as he winked at me, putting his finger on his lips as if he were telling me to keep a secret.

“Okay, I will.” I closed my eyes for a second, then opened them and stood staring at Dave for a moment who walked in to eat with Michael. Whatever Michael was contemplating had him in deep thought. There was something Michael wasn’t telling me about Dave. I could feel it.

Dave waved at me, I smiled, then glanced away. They both sat and ate lunch as I stood lying in the bed. I couldn’t hear their conversation. I was trying to read their lips but I couldn’t. I turned my back on them and held the pillow tightly. Something about my conversation with Michael didn’t sit right with me. It was strange. Strange beyond words. I knew deep down inside he didn’t like Dave, but I didn’t think he wanted him completely out our lives. Though Michael and Dave never really made a connection, there was something to be said about their behavior these last few weeks. They didn’t seem like best friends, but they sure weren’t enemies. Something was up.
But what could it be?

CHAPTER 8

    Later that evening, we were released from the hospital and stood at the Marriot hotel in Westchester County in Valhalla. I was so exhausted. I literally felt like I was dragging my feet. I could still feel the bruises on my back where that animal kicked me. My body ached and my muscles were still tense. I could feel the strain on my body. I was sent home with a slew of medications to avoid an infection. My heart and my belly were empty, and I felt like less of a person with every minute that passed. My mind was more fucked up than my body was and I didn’t feel as if this time around, I would be able to heal.

     Michael and I slept together in each other’s arm the entire night. He knew not to press on my back and handle me with care. He often woke up in the middle of the night, to go to the bathroom, or walk over to the balcony. I knew he was uneasy and for Michael, losing two babies, really destroyed him. He was trying to be strong for me, but he was falling apart himself. I had no way of comforting him.
I was in my own hell and no one could drag me out of there.

     Margaret was in the room with me all night, running through my mind. All I saw was her bloody face, cars crashing, caskets and people crying. I didn’t even know when or where the funeral services were going to be held. I held Michael tighter than ever that night. I loved him more than anything in the world, or was it because I had no one else to hold? I just couldn’t see myself without him. These conflicting feelings were tearing me up inside. I couldn’t tell if they were manifested from my childhood or from what was happening to me right at that moment.

    I rolled over next to Michael and stared at him as he slept. He finally fell asleep after walking around the hotel room. He was so beautiful that I could stare at him forever. I hated that my love for him included my blatant attraction to his beautiful face and his Zeus-like body of perfection. It was a love mixed with lust, and no matter how much pain I was in, if he took me right now and threw me up against the wall, bruised back and all…I would let him. He had that magic spell over me, no matter what he did. It was undeniable and for that reason alone, I knew I had lost myself in this relationship because everything I am now is because of my love for him. I didn’t like who I was at that moment. I was a complete…NOBODY.

                                                ***

    Michael awoke suddenly scaring me half to death. He looked up and his bright eyes squinted at me. He covered his mouth with his hands and mumbled,

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” I said as I kissed him on the forehead. He stretched his arms, leaned over, and kissed my stomach forgetting that there was no baby to kiss. I stared at him as my insides shuddered.

“Jen, I’m sorry. I’m so stupid.” He kissed my forehead. “Can you forgive me?” He sat up and covered his face with his hands, and then he stood up abruptly, walked over to the door and punched a hole through it. He fell to his knees on the floor and yelled,

“Why? Why did this have to happen to me? To us? Why? My babies…my babies…are dead.” He held his stomach, sobbing as he lowered his head to the floor. I jumped out of the bed and ran to him. I kneeled on the floor and grabbed his hands away from his face gently. His hand was red and swelling immediately.

“Oh Michael, please…it’s going to be okay. I promise…we’ll have another baby…we will.” I grabbed him by the shoulders, his face buried in my neck. His cries were loud, coming from deep inside his soul, it was unyielding, and he couldn’t control himself. He broke down and held me tightly. I sat and cried with him on the bedroom floor of the hotel. My pain and love for him were one. I couldn’t distinguish one from the other anymore. I was a complete, fucked up mess,
and so was he.

“I wanted to start over, a new life, just me, you and the baby.” he said as he stroked my face tenderly with his swollen hand.

“I wanted that, too. But God had other plans…you’re right, we do need to move on…on our own, without Dave in the picture. We can visit and make him part of our lives from a distant. I love you.” I reassured him. I held him tightly in my embrace, wiping the tears from his eyes with my fingertips. Michael kissed my fingers soaked with his tears. He stood up and walked over towards the closet, pulled out his black leather suitcase, and pulled out a blue box.

“Open it.” He handed me the box.

   I opened it cautiously, unsure of what might be inside that might shock me. There was a picture of Michael and his mother, a frame with a picture of Michael and me, and the sonogram picture of the baby.

“I wanted you to see how beautiful my mother was. She had blue-green eyes like me, and I know the baby would’ve had them, too.” My eyes welled up with instantly with tears as I kissed the baby through the frame.

“She was beautiful Michael, just like you, inside and out. I miss my babies, but I can’t bring them back.” I held the frame against my chest, gasping for air.

“I know…I just don’t know how to deal with this.” he sat on the floor and leaned against the bed frame.

“One day at a time…” I whispered. I sat in between his legs and placed my head on his chest.

“Let’s get something to eat…you need your strength. Let me get some ice for your hand.”

“I’m fine, really.” He wasn’t fine; he was distraught.

“No, you’re not.” I walked over to the ice bucket where a few ice cubes were left from the champagne on ice, courtesy of the hotel, and wrapped it in tissue.

“Here, I’ll get dressed and you place this on your hand.” I handed him the ice wrapped in tissue and placed it on his swollen hand.

Michael stood there staring at me, placing the ice on his hand, as I threw on some sweats and a sweatshirt. I combed my hair and put it up in a ponytail.

   Michael and I ate breakfast together in the restaurant in the hotel. It was a nice place but a little outdated, I thought. We sat observing the other guests who seemed to enjoy the atmosphere. There were quite a few people there. Some with their kids. One lady had a baby in her arms that she was rocking back and forth. She caught me staring at her and smiled as she kissed the babies nose. My heart dropped to the floor. Michael noticed and picked up the menu and handed it to me.

“Here, order, let’s eat.” He said softly. I nodded my head. The waiter came over.

“Hi, what can I get you guys today?” he smiled staring at the same woman with the baby, who placed a towel over the baby’s face to breast feed him. He was dressed in blue, so I automatically assumed it was a boy.

“Jeez, can’t she do that in the bathroom or something?” The waiter shook his head.

“The baby has to eat, too.” I whispered.

“I’ll have blueberry pancakes with a side of turkey bacon.” Michael interrupted.

“Me, too.” I added.

“Sure thing. Coming up.” The waiter said then walked away.

“You okay?” Michael grabbed my hand tenderly across the table.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” I lied through my teeth.

     I ate so much and was so full I thought I would explode. We went back to the room to find a message on Michael’s cell phone from Dave telling us that Margaret was cremated and her ashes were sent to her grandmother in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I never knew she had any relatives in Pennsylvania. She never told me that.
Why would he cremate her so quickly? I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to her? What was he thinking?

“Michael, why did Dave cremate her so fast?” My heart was thrashing with anger.

“I don’t know. Let’s take a drive to his house and talk to him in person. I’d like to know what the hell just happened.” Michael said angrily.

“Are you sure you want to take that drive to the city now?”

“Yeah, I need to get out of here. Are you up for it?” He stood up from the couch.

“Yeah, I’d like to hear what he has to say about all of this, are you sure?”

    Michael nodded his head. Then he called Dave before we left to let him know we were on our way. Michael and I drove to the city. Traffic was really bad; it was bumper to bumper because of an accident. We slowly drove by the accident and noticed a baby car seat in the middle of the road. I looked around to see if I saw the baby anywhere. It gave me the chills to know that a baby was involved in that accident. I rubbed my belly for a moment, and then remembered there was no baby inside of me. Michael glanced over at me, then at my belly. He slid his hand over my stomach and said,

“I’m sure their fine, the ambulance is over there.” He said softly.

“I hope so.” I held his hand.

    We met Dave in front of his building. He was waiting downstairs for us. Michael got out of the car to speak to him.

“Dave, how are you?” Michael asked as he extended his hand for a handshake.

“As well as can be expected.” Dave said with his head down staring at the ground.

“Where are you going?” Michael asked noticing Dave had on a suit.

“I’m on Jenesis’ case now. We’re going to find the bastard that attacked her. I’m doing it to make sure we find him, plus, I need to keep my mind occupied.”

“Dave, why the rush with Margaret?” Michael asked suspiciously.

“I got in contact with her grandmother. She told me Margaret always said she wanted to be cremated. She asked me if she could keep the ashes.” He glanced into the car at me, then looked away.

“How did you find her grandmother? Margaret never mentioned to us she had a grandmother.” He raised an eyebrow at Dave. Dave shrugged his shoulders. “Wow, I really wish you would have waited so Jen could have said goodbye to her.” Michael’s tone was harsh.