Hearts Collide (Canyon Cove Book 4) (13 page)

But he is for her.

As he closed up the U-Haul and gave Ginny a big hug, I realized he was wearing the blue shirt he bought for our wedding.

My chest ached. It felt like Marc had reached inside and was squeezing everything out of my heart. I hugged myself as I realized tears had been rolling down my cheeks.

No! Not now.

I didn't want to deal with this. I didn’t want these emotions. I refused to cry and feel sorry for myself.

I am strong.

I am independent.

I am broken.

I shoved that last one under the closet door in my mind. I would never allow anyone to see that.

Present Day

I wiped my eyes as I finally calmed down, woozy and out of breath. My chest still ached, but I knew I was going to be alright. Brent led me down the hall to a small alcove with a couch.

He kept his arm around my shoulders as we sat down, holding me close. He must have had a ton of questions, but he didn’t say or ask me anything and I was grateful for that.

I didn’t know if I could talk about it yet. I had spent so long hiding my feelings about it, stuffing them away into the darkest corner in my mind, trying to be strong, that I didn’t realize how much Marc had really hurt me.

As I breathed in deep, I thought about Marc smiling happily with his bride. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to think of her as a bitch for breaking us up, but I knew it wasn’t her fault. Our relationship had problems and for Marc she was the solution.

Fucking Ginny.

He loved her so much that they renewed their vows within a year of their marriage. I couldn’t even get him to show up to our wedding.

I held onto all of that for so long, I thought it was part of me. I thought I was destined to never be happy. I believed I’d have to keep stuffing down my feelings because no one would ever care.

It took seeing Marc married for me to realize what happened wasn’t my fault. Maybe it wasn’t even his fault. Despite what I wanted to believe for all these years, Marc and I didn't work as a couple. There was never any passion there.

All my tears opened my eyes to the pain I kept inside all those years. Shutting it away didn’t do anything but hold me in the past. Now that I let it out I felt ready to move forward. I was ready to think about a life that wasn’t tainted by my memories of Marc.

Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees and covered my face with my hands. I didn’t want him seeing me with my red face and puffy eyes. Brent’s hand gently stroked my back. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye and he smoothed my escaping hair back behind my ear.

I thought about all the time I spent hating him, but that was a lie. It had nothing to do with Brent or anything he did, it was me. I hated that Brent made me feel vulnerable. I hated that I loved spending time with him. I hated that by his being nothing like Marc or Dennis, he reminded me of how bad my past relationships really were and how much I deserved better. But mostly, I hated that I was falling in love with him.

Brent had become the one man in my life who I could count on. He never made me feel bad. If anything he always seemed to know how to make me feel better. And whether it was fate or his uncanny timing, he was always there whenever I needed someone the most.

“Why are you here?” I asked. “Why are you always here? Whenever I've needed someone lately, somehow you just show up.”

“Because from the first moment I saw you, I knew you needed someone. I want to be that someone,” he said.

“You just want sex,” I said, forcing a laugh.

“Stop it, Jackie.” He knelt down in front of me so I had no choice but to look at him. “I’ve been doing whatever I can to be with you. You have no idea how much I hate these events, but I will go to one every night of the week if it means I get to spend a few minutes with you.”

I shook my head and hid my face in my hands again.

“You’re crazy,” I said.

“Crazy for you.”

“And you’re cheesy too.”

He laughed as he pulled my hands away from my face.

“I’m tired of this, Jackie. I’m tired of playing games to get more time with you. Let me take you out to dinner.”

“As in a date?” I asked.

“Yes, a date, next Saturday.”

“Next Saturday? You’ve been stalking me for months and now you want to wait over a week?”

He grinned and laughed softly.

“I have to go away next week. There’s an environmental conference I’m attending in Geneva. Why don’t you come with me?”

“To Geneva?”

It took me by surprise, but I couldn't imagine wanting to do anything more. I could get away from the ghost of Marc, from the ever-present Dennis, and maybe start on my future with Brent. But just as I was going to say yes, I remembered I had booked myself solid with work. Not only that, but I had finals that week.

“I wish I could go, but I can’t. With work and finals, I can’t do it,” I said.

Disappointment flashed across his face.

“Then promise you’ll join me for dinner when I get back,” he said. “Then after dinner I want to show you off as my date at the Boone Christmas party. What do you say?”

I didn’t need to think about it. My head was nodding before the word came out of my mouth.

“Yes.”

Chapter Fifteen

Jackie

As I stared into my closet I realized I had nothing to wear for my date with Brent. Sure, the closet was packed tight and there were things in there that hadn’t seen the light of day in a long time, but tonight was a big deal. Tonight I was going on my first date in years.

I grabbed my bag and headed straight for the door. It was just past noon so I had enough time to get to the mall for an hour and then get back and get ready.

“Where are you going?” Dennis asked as he looked up from a magazine.

I sighed as I stopped in the doorway. Why didn’t I kick him out? Why was I always being so nice to him? He didn’t deserve it at all.

“I’m going to the mall,” I said. “I have a date tonight so I’d appreciate it if you disappeared.”

He set the magazine down on the coffee table.

“Mind if I tag along?” he asked. “I won’t get in your way, I just need to pick up a new pair of jeans.”

“Fine,” I said, not wanting any more delays. “Just hurry up. I don’t have a lot of time.”

“Okay, okay,” he said, holding up his hands as if he was at gunpoint.

He got up and grabbed his wallet off the table as I stepped out the door.

Dennis snorted softly as we reached my new car. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his face squish into a pained look.

“You don’t have to come with me, you know,” I said.

“No, no, I really need a new pair of jeans.”

“You made a face,” I said.

“I had something caught in my throat,” he said.

He made a similar sound to his snort several times as he cleared his throat.

“Asshole,” I said under my breath as I unlocked the car.

We drove in silence to the mall. There was more traffic on the roads than I expected so I kept looking at the clock and ticking down in my head how much time I had before I needed to get back home.

I wished I was alone. I regretted having him tag along, but I didn’t want to hear him complain about my leaving him behind. I was also hopeful that if I was nice to him, he would be nice back by going out tonight.

“I was thinking that maybe you should buy an air bed or something. Your couch isn’t very comfortable,” he said.

“It’s not meant to be slept on,” I said. “Shouldn’t your apartment be ready by now?”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” he said. “You know they were painting my place, well they decided to renovate the whole building and then sell it. I need to find a new place to live.”

“So then find one,” I said as I pulled into the mall’s parking garage.

I was tired of all his excuses. He needed to get out of my apartment.

“I was thinking maybe I should buy something. We make a good team and–”

“Don’t even finish that thought. I don’t want to hear it,” I said.

I parked the car and hurried towards the entrance. Dennis rushed to catch up with me, but I wasn’t in the mood. I was there for one purpose–to find the cutest thing possible to wear tonight.

“Let me finish,” he said. “We could buy a place together and the mortgage will save us money instead of us paying rent separately.”

“Have you lost your mind? I don’t want to buy a house with you. I don’t want to live with you either. I only let you stay with me because you don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Even as I said it, I began to question it. Dennis always had a lot of friends. And even though he hadn’t said anything about his dating, I knew it wasn’t like him to be alone for as long as he had been.

He followed me through the department store and into the mall.

“Why are you following me? I thought you needed to get jeans,” I said.

He winced and raised his eyebrows at me. I hated acting like a bitch, but Dennis deserved it.

Oh no, now he’s going to make me feel guilty. Don’t do it, Jackie. Don’t do it!

“There’s a new style I want to try on,” he said. “I need your opinion on how they look.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I promise it won’t take long,” he said, his eyes pleading with me.

Don’t do it!

“Just one pair?” I asked.

“Just one. I swear,” he said. “I know you don’t have a lot of time.”

Sighing, I looked at the stores surrounding us. Dennis’s favorite store was on the way to Torque, my favorite clothing store. Despite how much I wanted to, I couldn’t say no. I was too nice. Sometimes I hated myself for that.

“Alright, fine,” I said. “But just one pair.”

We entered the store and Dennis went straight for the wall with its shelves of jeans. I wandered over to a circular rack with shirts hanging on it and checked the time.

Forty-five minutes.

Dennis took a small stack of jeans into the dressing room. A minute later he stepped out in one of the jeans and walked to the three way mirror.

“What do you think?” he asked.

I glanced at his jeans.

“They look fine,” I said.

“It looks like I don’t have an ass. They look baggy back there.”

“Are you serious?”

“See?” he asks.

He tugs the seat of the jeans and I nod. He was right, the jeans were baggy.

“Gimme a sec to try on another pair,” he said.

Before I could answer he disappeared into the dressing room again. After a minute he stepped out in a pair of really faded jeans.

“These look like something out of the eighties,” he said. “I have another pair to try.”

Sighing, I looked at my watch again as he changed.
How did ten minutes pass?

“Dennis,” I said as I knocked on his door, “We have to leave in half an hour. I’m going to the store.”

He opened the door and stepped out in another pair of jeans that fit perfectly.

“No, wait,” he said. “I think these are it, but the denim is kinda thin.” He waved over a petite blonde with french braids who was behind the cash register. “Do you have this fit in another style?”

She looked at the tags and nodded. “We do. They should be on the wall.”

“I grabbed all the jeans in my size,” he said.

“Let me check in the back,” she said. “If anyone asks, tell them Molly is helping you.”

As she walked away, Dennis started roaming the store. I was beginning to really lose my patience. I looked at the time and shook my leg nervously as Dennis wandered.