Heart's Design: A Contemporary Christian Romance (6 page)

“Why? Because of the relationship between your mom and dad?”

“No, not really.” Caroline pulled the sheet closer around her, intrigued by Paulina’s question. While roommates at Wellesley, Caroline had shared more with Paulina than anyone else about her family’s dysfunction. The effects of her father’s workaholic tendencies on her mother. “The root of Mom’s unhappiness stems from a long time ago. I might never know what caused it but it’s there. I think that’s a big reason Dad’s been happy to throw himself into his work all these years. Their marriage is a partnership as much as anything.”

“That’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard,” Paulina said. “My parents have been married forever, but I know they honestly love and care about each other. I can’t imagine what it’d be like if they fought all the time or were cold and distant.”

“Mother and Dad don’t fight.” Caroline frowned. “They just…accept. And you’re right. That’s probably the saddest existence of all. I don’t think Dad can comprehend the concept of me doing anything but becoming an attorney and joining the family practice. Mother goes along with his plans for me. Even if she felt differently, she wouldn’t speak up and say anything that contradicted him.”

“Well, then, that’s his problem,” Paulina snapped. “And your mom’s, too. Shame on them. I can’t believe they’d want their only daughter to sacrifice her happiness for the sake of some precious family legacy. That’s so old school. Not to be disrespectful of the reputation your father has built, but since Sidney and Bryce are going to carry on the tradition, anyway, I don’t understand why it’d be such a big deal if you tell your dad you want to do something else.”

Caroline readjusted the pillow and frowned. “I don’t know what else to do. That’s the thing, Paulina. I’ve pretty much been told that I’m to assume my rightful, expected place in the firm and I’ve never even considered doing anything else. I suppose you can’t understand it unless you’re part of it. I know you mean well, and I love and appreciate you for it, but rebelling against Duncan Prescott isn’t an option. From the time I was a teenager and proved I was smart and had the fortitude to withstand the demands of a legal career, the expectations started.”

Caroline hated how her voice, usually strong and confident, sounded small and defeated in the quiet of the night. In the bed next to them, Caroline heard Kat’s light, rhythmic breathing.

“Maybe you should have played dumb instead of being smart enough to use words like fortitude.” She heard the humor in her friend’s voice, and appreciated her attempt to lighten the mood.

“I could have, but this blonde hair”—Caroline wound a long strand around her finger several times—“is all natural.” She’d never thought about coloring her hair. Never thought much about her hair at all. “I’m out to disprove the stereotype that blondes don’t have anything happening between their ears.”

“You’re too smart to play dumb, anyway. But maybe you should think about finding out for yourself whether or not blondes really have more fun. Seth Barnes really seems into you. I saw the way he watched you earlier today. And then when you were sitting in the living room reading and he walked by with Mrs. Landon.”

A few minutes passed in silence. Thinking Paulina must have fallen asleep, Caroline finally rolled over onto her side.

“I’m sorry, Caroline.”

“For what?” She rolled over again.

“I didn’t mean to make you sad by bringing up the situation with your parents, law school…the whole thing. I just want to see you happy.”

Tears sprang to Caroline’s eyes. “I’m not
un
happy, and I’ve learned to live with it.” She squeezed Paulina’s hand. “Good night.”

“Good night, my friend.”

Mrs. Landon was wrong about one thing. She definitely wasn’t carefree. Not at all. And while it was true that wasn’t unhappy, the burden of expectations she carried still threatened to overwhelm her at times.

If she were a praying person, this would be one of those times.

Closing her eyes, Caroline willed sleep to come.

Chapter 6

~~♥~~

Seth quirked a brow and took a long sip of his black coffee as Beverly bustled around in the kitchen as usual. Same as she’d been doing the last ten minutes. The woman rarely sat down or took a break and usually grabbed bites of food on the run.

“What happened to my handsome boy who greets me every morning with a smile and a kind word? It’s my Liesel and Paul’s wedding day! A day to rejoice.”

“Oh, I’m rejoicing.” He gestured to his face. “This is my happy wedding day face. I couldn’t be happier for them, and I’m glad the rehearsal went off without a hitch.”

Beverly smiled. “Your toast at the dinner was very funny. Paul’s usually so serious, but you always bring out his humor. Well done.”

“Thanks, but I think you’re already forgetting that I gave you a kiss on the cheek earlier and said good morning.”

“Yes, you did, but it was half-hearted at best. I can tell when you have something on your mind.” She gave him a quick look. “I’m listening if you want to talk.”

Seth straightened his shoulders and slowly rotated his neck, massaging it with one hand. He was still a bit sore from his near fall yesterday afternoon. Must have wrenched his neck without knowing it. “You can’t see it, but I’m mentally slapping myself. I did something kind of stupid yesterday afternoon.”

“Oh? Before or after we talked? I heard something about how you were on a ladder and…well, let’s just say you were getting personal with one of my guests. The pretty, long-legged blonde from Boston.”

He smirked at her grin. “Caroline. Yes, she’s very pretty. Too pretty. And the reason for my blunder.”

“You’re not one to do something foolish just because a girl is pretty. Should I sit down for this one?”

He could tell Beverly was teasing but he almost wished she
would
sit down so they could have a face-to-face conversation for once. “I opened my big mouth and sort of asked her out. Without really asking her out.” Seth blew out a breath and shook his head. “It’s confusing and difficult to explain.”

“Try me.” The speed with which his older friend parked her rather ample frame on the opposite side of the table made him smile. “Tell me quick ’cause the timer for my biscuits is going to buzz in about three minutes.”

“Yes, ma’am. As if you can’t work and listen at the same time.” Beverly could multitask better than anyone he’d ever known. He managed a grin and gulped down more coffee. “She came out to the balcony and we scared each other. She grabbed the ladder so I didn’t fall. Then, to say thanks, I invited her to the wedding and the reception as my guest. I didn’t think you’d mind.”

“Of course, I don’t mind. There’s something about Caroline that’s different from those two friends of hers. The dark-haired one’s okay, but that redhead?” Beverly waved her hand. “That one is looking for trouble. I wanted to throw some clothes on her when they walked in here yesterday.”

Seth chuckled. “Word around town is that Katherine—Kat—is headed for Broadway. Clara told me. Seems she’s telling everyone in town who’ll listen about her grand aspirations to be an actress. She must think Evergreen residents will make an annual pilgrimage to the Great White Way and look her up. Not that she doesn’t have her good qualities, but she seems a little clingy. And needy.” Not a good combination, clothed or not. His mind went back to Caroline fastening that button on her blouse on the balcony yesterday. A woman who blushed over something like that? Yeah, he found that a whole lot more appealing.

“Well, you said enough with the Broadway comment. That explains a lot,” Beverly commented. “You know actresses. So dramatic, even in their personal lives.”

“Like we know so many actresses.”

Beverly’s brown eyes settled on him. “Some people are good at masking their emotions whether they’re on the stage or not.”

He darted a glance at the clock on the stove. “I’m not in the mood for profound statements like that so early in the morning. Is it almost six already?” As usual, he’d been up since five and hadn’t been able to get back to sleep.

“Yes, and if I were you, I wouldn’t think of doing any touch-ups on the balcony this early in the morning.”

He groaned when he caught Beverly’s rather sly grin. “I didn’t mean it as a date, you know, but I guess I can see where Caroline might have assumed it was.”

“So
is
Caroline coming to the wedding with you?”

“No, because she has more sense than I do. And you, too, apparently.”

Beverly’s brows shot to the ceiling. “What’s that supposed to mean? Don’t go insulting the bride’s mother on a day like today, young man.” Using the dishtowel on the table beside her, she flung it against his arm.

“Meaning she pointed out that I have a girlfriend. Jenica,” he emphasized before Beverly could bungle her name, on purpose or not.

“How does she know you have a girlfriend?”

“Because I happened to mention it. Right after the asking out portion of the program.”

“Was that what you’re referring to as the stupid part?”

Seth stared at her. “No,” he said slowly. “You really don’t like Jenica, do you, Bev? I thought you were only teasing yesterday.”

“It’s not that so much that I don’t like Jenica, but I see something special in Caroline. Something that’d be good for you. Whether you want to admit it or not, you see the same thing.”

“Care to enlighten me?” He sat up straighter as the oven timer buzzed. Rising from the bench, Beverly proceeded to pull the biscuits from the oven and set the tray on the counter.

“First of all, tell me what attracts you to Caroline,” she said. “You want your usual breakfast?”

“Yes, but I can get it.”

Taking the plate she handed him, Seth headed to the sideboard where the food sat warming in silver buffet-style serving trays. He loaded up on scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon and fresh fruit. Nobody made a better breakfast than Beverly Landon. His mother did once upon a time, but she hadn’t made breakfast for him in a long time.

“I don’t suppose you’d believe me if I said it’s nothing more than physical attraction?”

“You’re right. I don’t believe you although she’s a beautiful girl. She doesn’t seem to know it, and I’m sure that’s part of her appeal. She’s intelligent, well-spoken, and I see a gentle kindness in her. But there’s also a certain sense of…I don’t know…a sadness, about her, I suppose. And even though I suspect she comes from old money, she seems grounded. Not at all spoiled. With all that wavy blonde hair and pretty green eyes, in some ways, she reminds me of my Liesel. I used to hope you’d look at Liesel that way.”

“Which way is that?” Seth feigned ignorance. Grabbing a knife and the blueberry jam, he slathered it on a warm, soft biscuit. He’d loved Liesel for years, but she’d never appealed to him as more than a good friend. From what he knew, Liesel looked at him as more of a half-brother. Both of them had always been more than fine with their teasing relationship. Paul was one of his best friends, and he couldn’t have been more thrilled when he and Liesel started dating and then fell in love. They made a great couple. In some ways, he was envious, but he was nowhere near ready to take that kind of step in his relationship with Jenica. He might never be ready for that step. With Jenica.

“You know very well what I mean.”

“Bev, pardon the expression, but get real. Your daughter had no more interest in me in
that
way than I had in her. She’s marrying the best guy for her and you know it, so it’s a moot point.”

“Oh, I know that, honey. I’m just making an observation but every girl I’ve ever seen you with has always been a brunette. Including Jenica.”

At least she got the name right this time. Beverly waited as he sat at the table and said grace silently, but Seth felt her eyes on him the entire time. Maybe he should pray without ceasing for a while or until she stopped boring holes through him.

“So? Give me some credit here, Bev. The girls I’ve dated just happened to have dark hair. It wasn’t like I purposely avoided blondes.” He shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter since I’ll probably never see Caroline again after this weekend, anyway. Besides, there’s a bigger issue at stake.” He took a bite of his eggs and then added a forkful of sausage.

As she worked in the kitchen, Beverly was silent while he savored the taste of the hot, fresh biscuit. Best in the world. Finally, she stopped and parked a hand on her hip, glancing at him over one shoulder. “I can wait and be as stubborn as you, young man. You just keep stuffing that food in your mouth, mister, but you’re not leaving my kitchen until you explain yourself.”

After downing a swig of the orange juice she put on the table in front of him, Seth smacked his lips. “That’s good stuff.” Pausing with his fork above his plate, he met Bev’s gaze and held it, unwavering. “Okay, here’s the thing: Caroline’s going to law school this fall. You know how much I love lawyers.” Try as he might, he couldn’t keep the sarcasm from his tone.

“No, but I know how much you despise
one
lawyer. You don’t hate them in general, like a species. That’s like saying you don’t like a certain minority, and the Seth Barnes I know would never say something like that. Be careful, honey. Hate is a very strong word. It’s not to be bandied about without forethought.”

“Yes, my beef is with one lawyer, but I don’t think I could ever date a woman who pursues a career where she’d knowingly and purposely suck the life and livelihood out of someone in a courtroom.”

The line between Beverly’s brows deepened. “Who’s talking about dating? And that’s a grossly unfair judgment now, isn’t it? There are all kinds of lawyers and you’re making assumptions. Caroline might want to be a public defender and help people who can’t afford one of those fancy, high-priced lawyers. Don’t forget your daddy had an attorney, too, all those years ago, and he was a good man. Your father wasn’t convicted, so his attorney did his job by getting the acquittal.” Beverly shook her head. “I wished you’d listen to yourself.”

Beverly busied herself wiping down the counter but the disapproval in her tone came through loud and clear. She was disappointed in him, and that sent an arrow of guilt into Seth’s heart. She’d been his moral compass since his dad was preoccupied with his mom these days. Mom hadn’t been the same since the trial. Hard to believe it’d been almost fifteen years ago.

Even though he knew Beverly was right, he couldn’t seem to stem his anger from that trial. Why was the subject coming up again in his mind today, two days in a row? Well, he’d brought it up with his casual but cutting comment about lawyers. Maybe it was a subconscious thing. Still, Beverly Landon was a prayer warrior like none other, and he was aware enough to understand God
wanted
him to address his anger issue. He’d
felt
her prayers carrying him through and moving him forward when he was back home or wherever his work had led him. Uplifting and encouraging him. If nothing else, Beverly’s wise counsel was godly and she always had his best interests at heart.

Finished with her cleaning, at least for the moment, Beverly wrapped her arms over her middle and leaned back against the counter, facing him. A scripture verse was coming. He could always tell, but he loved them. Loved
her
.

“‘Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.’ Think on that verse.”

“Thanks, Bev. I will.” He caught her glance. “I mean it. I needed to hear it.”

Walking to the table, she removed his plate. “Want your coffee warmed?”

“No. The breakfast was great, as always.”

“You’re welcome. Honey, you’re one of the finest young Christian men I know, but you’ve got to find a way to get over your anger. All your good works and being a good person won’t take away that anger. I don’t want to watch while it festers in your soul because I can tell you from experience that anger like that will affect every one of your relationships—in a negative way—for the rest of your life.”

He snapped his gaze to Beverly. And, for the second day in a row, the mention—no matter how vague—of her ex-husband had been broached. “You made a good, stable life for Liesel with Randy, and he’s the only father she’s ever known. You raised a beautiful daughter, but tell me something. How were you able to forgive the man who’d wronged you? How’d you get past the anger?” That was the crux of the matter for him. He’d forgive anyone anything, but he couldn’t forgive the man he blamed for trying to destroy his family. In one way, the man had accomplished his goal, in another…not so much. But it didn’t change the facts.

God, forgive me for these thoughts. Please remove the hate from me.

Beverly leaned back against the counter again. “To be honest, it took a whole lot of prayer and wrestling with God. But if you think your arms are long enough to box with Him, you’d be wrong. I know that trial tore your family apart. You believe you lost your mama because of what happened, but you can’t know that for sure. That trial didn’t cause her dementia. She’s suffering from a disease that robs a person of their memories. A disease that doesn’t discriminate. And you need to remember that Jesus died on a cross for that lawyer every bit as much as He died for you and me. And your mother and father.”