Hearts in Harmony (9 page)

Randy's eyebrows perked, and he spun around. “Did someone say donuts? I'm in.”

Adrian peeled off his damp T-shirt and reached into the duffel bag he'd left on the floor for a clean one. He was relieved the subject had been changed. Still, talking about it had confirmed in his own mind that he'd done nothing that was wrong or bad.

Tomorrow was worship team practice night, and Celeste would be there. Once she settled back into the routine, all would return to normal as they resumed their regular patterns.

Although, now knowing what it would be like, he hoped that his friends would do exactly as they suggested and leave early, only without ambushing Celeste's car.

Then, he could once again kiss her.

Adrian smiled all the way to the car.

 

“Let's pick it up again from the chorus. Celeste, can we have a little more action and something higher on the treble end?”

Celeste nodded at Paul, then moved her right hand up an octave to produce the desired effect.

“Three, four…”

As they began playing together, Celeste couldn't help
but glance at Adrian. Unfortunately, he also glanced at her at the same time.

When their eyes met, Celeste froze. She made a mistake, which created a domino effect. Adrian followed her with a wrong chord, then Paul plucked a string too hard. Randy tried to turn the bass down on the mixing board, but accidentally turned it up instead. He started to laugh, which made Bob miss what was left of the beat. The music ground to a halt.

“Whoa,” Paul muttered. “We'd better try that again. Three four…”

This time, as Celeste played she refused to watch anything except her sheet music.

She still couldn't look at Adrian without the memory of the way they'd kissed burning into her mind, heart and soul.

She'd thought she could keep it simple, a quick kiss as an innocent act of affection, but once their lips met she'd been unable to.

Celeste gritted her teeth and held the chord instead of moving it as she'd done in the past, knowing that if she had to do anything that required any concentration, she couldn't.

The situation with Adrian on Sunday night could very easily have spiraled out of control—it almost had, but Adrian had been the one to exercise good judgment. That he had done so shouldn't have been unexpected. He led a moral, upright life, using noble and justifiable restraint in all areas of his life, especially when something could affect his future. That was one of the reasons she loved him so much.

But at the same time, she could tell that compared to her,
he was an inexperienced kisser. She hadn't considered all the ramifications of that knowledge until it was too late.

Out of the corner of her eye, against her better judgment, she glanced quickly at Adrian as he worked on a part she knew he struggled with, knowing that he wouldn't be able to look up at her until he finished that section.

Intense concentration showed on his face and in his stiff posture. Both in the group, and on his own he worked hard and sacrificed his time to do his best for a very worthy cause, which was for the good of the people in his church.

Celeste felt like a deviant. Adrian was innocent in ways she hadn't been since she was fifteen years old. Seducing him the way she had made her worse than the wicked witch with the candy cottage, trying to lure the innocent children to her home in order to eat them for dinner.

Celeste turned back to her music and tried to concentrate on what she should have been doing in the first place. She should have been working on music meant to glorify God—the God who had given her Adrian as the only truly good thing she'd ever had in her life.

Up until Sunday, she'd purposely ignored all the signs. But then, when Adrian moved to kiss her, if it wasn't obvious enough before, it was as blatant as a flashing neon sign telling her exactly where he wanted to go with their relationship.

Up until then she'd done well in keeping things platonic, but in the face of temptation, she'd fallen. Worse she'd almost made Adrian fall right behind her.

She couldn't help but love him. He'd opened up her life in ways she could never have imagined or foreseen, spiritually, socially and emotionally. For the first time, she ex
perienced the simple joy of just being with someone, without necessarily doing anything, even talking. He helped to teach her more about the God who loved her so much and pulled her out of her pit of self-destruction.

But now, in loving Adrian, she'd opened the door to all her past sins, and she'd begun leading Adrian down the path to moral destruction. He deserved someone better than her. He needed someone equal to himself in the eyes of God and man. That woman wasn't her.

Paul's voice broke through the music, bringing everything to a halt again. “Hold on. Adrian, would you like a little time to work on those couple of bars by yourself before we join in?”

“Thanks,” Adrian mumbled as he pressed his fingers to the strings, making the chord position, but not playing it. “This won't take long.”

Adrian counted down the frets to figure out the right notes, then carefully worked out his fingering to get the right sequence for the few bars he was to play a bit of counter-melody instead of just playing the chords. At the same time, Paul also worked through his own fingering for his part in the difficult section

After watching them for a few seconds Celeste lowered her head, but instead of looking at her keyboard and figuring out her own contribution to the difficult bars, she closed her eyes and prayed.

Dear Lord, Adrian deserves better than me. He deserves a virtuous woman. I can't lead Adrian down the path where I've been. Please, send him the woman who's best for him. Someone with a good and noble heart, just like his.

Paul's voice broke into her thoughts. “Okay, let's do it. Ready?”

This time, they played the section flawlessly. Wanting to end on a positive note, they decided to stop then, which Celeste noted was earlier than usual.

As if he could read her mind, Randy made a rather obvious show of checking his watch. “Wow, look at the time. I have to go. I guess I'll see everyone Sunday morning.”

Before Celeste could tell Randy that his watch was wrong, that it wasn't late, it was actually early, Randy was gone.

Without stopping in the kitchen to grab a donut.

She stared at the door, shook her head, then turned back to the room. Paul already had his bass guitar in the case. “I have to go, too. See you all Sunday. Don't be late.”

In the blink of an eye, Paul was gone, too.

Bob raised his arms over his head, closed his eyes, and stretched. “I'm really tired. I had a hard day at the shop. I think I'll just leave everything set up here and go home to bed. I'll come early Sunday morning and take everything down then.”

Celeste forced herself to breathe. When Bob left, that would leave her alone with Adrian.

The way she was feeling now, all Adrian would have to do was say one nice word, and she would break down and tell him everything. She couldn't allow that to happen. Not now. Not ever. If she told him about how and why she really came to be with them, he'd never want to see her again, and she couldn't deal with that.

She needed time to think, and to pray about what to do.

Celeste cleared her throat, and hoped her voice would come out sounding half normal. “You know, I'm really tired, too. I think I'm also going to go to bed early tonight.”

Adrian lowered his guitar into the case. “But—”

Celeste turned off the keyboard. She quickly grabbed her music while Bob tucked his sticks into the tote.

She took a couple of steps toward the door, speaking over her shoulder as she walked. “Tomorrow night I'm going to have coffee with one of the other ladies in the class to discuss a group assignment, so I won't see you after night school.”

Adrian stepped forward. “What about Fri—”

Celeste quickened her pace, needing to leave before Bob. “There's something else I have to do,” she called out. “But if things change, I'll let you know.”

Before Adrian could catch up to her, she hurried out the door and to her car, hoping that Adrian wouldn't follow her, that he would stay in the house to see Bob out.

The car started with a backfire, and she was moving before the cloud of smoke cleared.

When she arrived at home, she could barely get her key into the lock, her hands were shaking so badly.

She was a coward.

Instead of facing her problems, she'd run.

Just like the last time. She'd been scared then, but this time, she was frightened in a different way.

The backs of her eyes started to burn as she pushed the door open.

Last time, she'd had her escape planned. She'd thought about it, determined her options and prepared herself. She'd stated her terms and given Zac her ultimatums, knowing he wouldn't give up his ways to suit God, even though she did get Zac to acknowledge in his own way that God at least did exist. But that wasn't enough for Celeste,
so she'd left everything behind. Her work, her hopes, her dreams. Everything she had been striving for. Everything she'd ever known. And she'd started again.

This time, she simply ran, and she had no plan.

She dropped her music on the coffee table, and continued into the kitchen to put on a pot of tea.

Usually, a cup of herbal tea helped relax her. Tonight, she suspected that even a gallon of tea would be of little benefit.

Despite all that she'd given up, nothing hurt so badly as having to end her special relationship with Adrian. She couldn't let it continue in its present course.

As Celeste reached for the kettle, her vision became blurry. She set the kettle down to wipe a layer of moisture away from her eyes.

She almost laughed, except her situation was more pathetic than funny. She was crying. The last time she'd cried was when her father had died, many, many years ago. She hadn't shed a tear about anything since then, basically her whole life.

But then, she'd never met a man like Adrian.

And she never would again.

A
drian stared at the pile of books on the coffee table. They wouldn't be returned tonight.

He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. When had his life deteriorated to the point where the highlight of his week was going to the library on Friday night? Of course it wasn't the library that was so special, it was that he went there with Celeste.

Adrian resisted the urge to whack the books off the coffee table. Instead, he stomped into the kitchen, where he stared blankly at the kettle and the teapot he'd bought just for Celeste.

They wouldn't be used tonight.

Adrian strode back into the living room and flopped down on the couch.

Instead of looking at the television, his gaze fixed on the stuffed teddy bear wearing glasses that he'd perched on top of the entertainment center. Celeste had bought it for him as a joke, saying that it looked like him because not only was the bear wearing glasses, it was also wearing pants
with suspenders. Therefore that meant it was an accountant, like him.

Adrian stared at a spot on the wall. He missed her teasing. He missed everything about her.

All he'd been able to do was think about Celeste. He still didn't think he'd done anything wrong, but he had narrowed down the time of the change to when she kissed him. And she had been the one to kiss him, even though he'd meant to be the first to initiate it. The timing couldn't be a coincidence, which meant that even though he had thoroughly enjoyed the experience, Celeste regretted it.

He couldn't turn back the clock, nor could he pretend it hadn't happened. He suddenly understood the meaning of the expression, being caught between a rock and a hard place.

He couldn't do nothing, but he didn't know what to do.

Fortunately, before he had time to fully sink into a quagmire of melancholy depression the phone rang. He reached over and answered it without getting up.

“Hey, Adrian. It's me. Bob. Are you busy?”

The sound of an impact wrench echoed in the background, telling him that Bob and his partner were again forced to work late on a Friday night. At this point, Adrian also would have welcomed some overtime because it would have given him something else to think about besides the pathetic state of his life. Again, Adrian glanced at the pile of lonely library books that wouldn't be returned.

He sighed. “No, I'm not busy. What's up?”

“Paul just called me, and he was being really strange. He didn't have anything important to say, he just told me that he was at the craft shop getting stuff for school, which I really didn't care about. But then I heard Celeste's voice
in the background, and I started thinking. Maybe he phoned me so I could phone you and let you know where she is, and what she's doing.”

“Uh… Yeah… Thanks…” Adrian let his voice trail off.

Bob mumbled a quick goodbye and hung up. Dial tone buzzed in Adrian's ear.

Adrian turned his head toward the door and hung up the phone.

If it wasn't obvious before that Celeste was avoiding him, it was more than obvious, now.

His chest tightened. He didn't want that. More than anything, he wanted to be with her, to enjoy her laugh and her smile. He wanted to be able to develop their relationship, to be able to show how he felt about her, and to be able to kiss her just because he felt like it, and know that it was okay. But it wasn't just about what he wanted. Right now, everything depended on what Celeste wanted.

Adrian couldn't keep still. He rose, and began to pace. He had to know what she was thinking. He had to know if he still had a chance. And to do that, they had to talk.

As he paced, he glanced into the den. Celeste's sweater lay draped over the back of the chair where she'd left it last time she'd come over to print an assignment for her night-school classes.

He walked into the den, smiled, picked up the sweater then locked up the house.

Before too long, Adrian stepped inside the door of the craft store. Except for the music of a soft-rock radio station playing in the background, the store was quiet. Adrian walked slowly past bins of paint supplies, silk flowers, baskets, wooden pieces and pattern books for every type
of craft imaginable, until he found Celeste picking through a bin of colored embroidery thread.

“Hi, Celeste,” he said, hoping his voice didn't sound too strained.

Celeste squealed, dropped a couple of skeins on the floor, slapped her hands over her mouth and spun around to face him.

He extended one arm. “I knew you were here, so I brought your sweater that you left at my house. In case you need it.”

“My sweater? You came all this way just to return my sweater?”

Adrian shrugged his shoulders. “I…uh…know it's your favorite.”

Her eyes narrowed as she studied him, knowing the real reason he was there had nothing to do with returning her sweater. “And how, exactly, did you know I was here?”

He stiffened and cleared his throat. “A little bird told me?”

She turned her head to look down the aisle. “A little bird? I think I smell a rat,” she mumbled, not looking at him as she spoke

Adrian shook his head. “Actually, I was talking to Bob, and he mentioned that he'd been talking to Paul and he just happened to hear your voice in the background.” He purposely neglected to mention that what he'd just said was exactly the reason for the call, and that nothing else had been discussed.

Her lips tightened.

Before she could say anything, Adrian blurted out the first thing he could think of, just so she wouldn't question him further. “Since we're here, how about if you show me
whatever it was that got you interested in cross stitch? You know my mother does cross stitch, so I can at least appreciate it.”

Celeste stared at him, knowing that looking at craft supplies had as little to do with him being there as did returning her sweater. “I guess,” she mumbled.

They'd just stepped in front of the store owner's masterpiece when Paul appeared beside him with an armful of foam pieces and a bag of colored glitter.

“Adrian? What are you doing here?”

“Celeste forgot her sweater at my place, so I brought it. In case she needs it.”

Paul made a short choking sound and coughed. “I was going to take Celeste out for coffee and a donut, but since you're here, why don't you join us?”

Celeste stiffened. “I really don't have time to go out. Maybe I should just go home and you two can go out together.”

Paul's eyebrows drew together. “But we came in the same car. Mine.”

Adrian raised one finger in the air. “If you've got homework, I can take you home, that way I can help you with it.”

Her mouth opened but no sound came out.

Paul smirked. “Or I can go home, and you two can go for coffee. I'm sure Adrian won't mind driving you home.”

She responded quickly. “It's okay. I certainly have time to go for out for coffee with you, Paul. I don't know what I was thinking.”

Adrian knew exactly what she was thinking—she was trying to avoid him.

He turned to Paul. “Yeah. I'll take you up on that invitation, too. I'd love a donut.”

For a split second, Paul hesitated. “Just let me go pay for this.”

Celeste held up two small skeins of embroidery thread. “I have to pay, too. I'll go with you.”

Adrian followed them both to the cashier's area, and stood to the side as they completed their transactions.

It was no surprise, but Adrian was disappointed that Celeste walked straight for the passenger door of Paul's car instead of his. Paul gave Adrian a sideways glance as he unlocked the door and held it open while Celeste slipped inside, but he said nothing, and they were on their way.

Once they all were seated at the donut shop, conversation and laughter flowed as if things were normal, which Adrian considered both good and bad. After everyone's second cup of coffee, Celeste excused herself to make a trip to the ladies' room.

The second she was out of hearing range, Paul plunked one elbow on the table and turned to him. “I know what you said at basketball, but it really does look like you two had a fight. Are you sure you didn't say something to make her angry?”

“I'm positive,” Adrian muttered. “There was no fight.”

“Actually, you two aren't exactly in a position to have a fight, because you're not really dating. In fact, have you two ever been on a real date?” Not really expecting an answer, Paul turned his head and watched the entrance to the wash-rooms. “If she's not going to spend every spare minute with you anymore, I'm still single…” Paul's voice trailed off.

Adrian stiffened involuntarily from head to toe. “Not so fast, my friend,” he said between clenched teeth.

Paul let out a whoop of laughter. “Whoa. You've got it bad. I was only teasing you. Here she comes.”

Celeste slid into her chair as Adrian forced himself to relax. “It really is time for me to go home, if you don't mind,” Celeste said.

Paul shook his head. “Not at all. But I think I have to stop for a short visit at one of the other teacher's homes tonight. Would you mind if Adrian drove you home?”

“I…uh…”

Adrian cleared his throat. “It's okay. I don't mind. I didn't have other plans tonight. Or rather, I did have other plans, but they fell through.”

Her cheeks darkened. “Thanks,” she mumbled. “I appreciate it.”

Paul quickly excused himself and left. Without speaking, Celeste picked up her purse and followed Adrian out to his car in silence.

Adrian did his best to make small talk during the journey home. He didn't want to have a serious discussion when his attention needed to be focused on driving safely. However, while conversation did flow, it was strained.

When he pulled into the driveway, Celeste got out of his car quickly. Completely ignoring the hint, Adrian followed her to her front door and stood beside her while she inserted the key into the lock.

“Are you angry with me?”

The door opened. “No, I'm not angry.”

She stepped inside. Adrian followed close behind before she had a chance to close the door with him on the wrong side.

“Have I done something wrong?”

He followed her into the spare bedroom, where she
stored all her embroidery supplies in a box in the corner of the room, since she didn't have any furniture besides the basics. “You've done nothing wrong.”

Somehow, her affirmations did nothing to make him feel better about what was happening, or rather, what wasn't happening, between them. “Then why won't you talk to me?”

For a second, her movements froze, then Celeste crouched down and started sorting and packing away her new accessories and colored threads. “It's hard to explain. Before you, I was involved with someone else. We had very different priorities, and at the end, there was a situation I couldn't live with anymore. The way we broke up wasn't very pleasant, so I can't get involved in anything right now.”

It made Adrian feel slightly better, even if a twinge of jealousy struck him simultaneously. However, that she was putting the brakes on what was happening because of something someone else had done didn't give him much relief. In fact, it made him feel worse because it trapped him in a situation that was beyond his control. “I'm sorry if it was bad for you, but you've got to realize that I'm not that guy. I think you know where I want this to go. Things would be good between us. If you need time to think about that sort of commitment, I understand.”

She dropped the smaller box holding all her threads. “Commitment?”

Adrian stopped and studied Celeste as she stared up at him. To think that whatever they had between them was over was not an option he wanted to consider. Still, he needed more than casual friendship. It was time to raise the bar.

Adrian vowed to himself that he would show Celeste that she could trust him regardless of the other guy's behavior. He hoped she could come to love him the same way he loved her.

Adrian's throat tightened as he realized where his thoughts were going.

Over the last week, his home was empty when Celeste wasn't in it. He loved her, and he wanted her to live with him as his wife. Forever. He wanted all that went with that. Marriage. Kids. A dog. A bird feeder in the backyard. Nosy neighbors. The whole package.

“Yes. Commitment. Let's start by spending more time together and see what happens.” Adrian picked up the container, and handed it to Celeste. “I know some guys might think
commitment
is a dirty word, but I don't. I'll let myself out.”

 

Celeste sat at the end of the restaurant table, listening to the other women talk.

She'd weakened. The women she worked with spoke more freely away from the confines of their office building, so Celeste had followed in order to learn from their experiences, so different from her own.

She was the oldest of the junior employees, and definitely the most experienced in some ways of life, but at the same time, completely ignorant in the ways of the dating game. She needed to know how other women carried on a normal relationship, because Celeste's relationship with Zac hadn't been anything near normal. The other women, most of whom ranged from nineteen to twenty-three, compared to her own age of twenty-eight, had plenty of stories about their romantic escapades.

One of them was considering all the things she could do to encourage her boyfriend to pop the question, and was freely discussing all the possibilities with her workmates. Celeste kept silent, but she wanted to tell the woman she'd learned the hard way that giving a man all he wanted wasn't the way to get him to make a commitment.

Commitment.

Adrian's voice echoed through her head.

Zac had said that one day they would get married, but after eight years, she found herself no closer to wedding bells than on the day she moved in with him.