Heart's Paradise (21 page)

With things back in control, Jonathon joined Phoebe for breakfast in her bedroom. The omelets were edible, that much he was grateful for. While eating they spoke lightly on the weather and local news topics. A stilted conversation, glossing over the deeper issue neither wanted to discuss. Later he decided to do some cleaning, though the house was near spotless. Barb had done her job well.

Jonathon heard a car engine, and he looked through the front window. Sarah jumped out of the backseat, waved at the driver and another young girl in the back then dashed across the yard. She barreled into the house then stopped when she spotted him. She smiled up in a way much too familiar. He only needed to look in the mirror to view the same smile.

“Hi,” Sarah said in a sweet eleven year old’s voice. “You’re the man from the hospital.”

“I am,” he answered, transfixed. The resemblance struck him again as it had when he’d first laid eyes on her in the hospital. Or in the photograph. “My name is Jonathon, and I’ll be staying a few days to help your mom out. I hope that’s okay with you.” He stared down to her. It was eerie to see himself recreated in a little girl. Eerie, and…special.

The little girl lifted her shoulders, her silvery gray gaze holding curiosity.
Does she see it, how much we look alike?
Jonathon waited for questions, but how would he answer them? His heart beat a hard rhythm in his chest, waiting for Sarah to break the silence. Panic welled.

“Sure you can stay,” she said before disappearing down the hall.

Jonathon sagged, bracing a hand against the wall, needing the support. He heard Phoebe call out to her, and Sarah went into her room.

He did some dusting. Sarah went into her bedroom then he heard her radio come on. Some terrible young boy singer blasted too loud.

“Turn it down, you’ll wreck your ears,” Phoebe called above the racket.

The volume dropped.

“Jonathon.”

He went to Phoebe. Her gaze was cool, protective. “What we discussed before I want to make clear again, do not say a word about who you are to her,” she warned.

“Right.” He nodded. “I swear I won’t.”

“The moment I say leave, you have to leave.”

He hoped it didn’t come to that. If he had to walk on eggshells he would, because he couldn’t go the rest of his life without at least
trying
to fit into the role Sarah deserved from him. That Phoebe deserved of him.
Do I only want to be a father, or do I want more out of this?
He thought of his three oldest sisters, happily married and settled down. Only he and Maggie were still single.

“I promise I’ll leave if you want me to, but, Phoebe, please, trust me. I don’t mean any harm, I only want to get to know…” He lowered his voice so it wouldn’t carry out of the room. “I want to get to know Sarah.”

He wanted to reach out and take her hand. Kiss her fingers, and her lips. Make her see the genuine need to be there. He faced hard work getting around her mistrust.

“I’m not saying you have any malicious intent,” Phoebe explained. “But when I see stuff like this…” She clicked on the television and pulled a program up from the DVR. A gossip report from the day before he’d arrived. She’d saved it, and he wondered why as she hit
play
.

He watched the smiling reporter chat happily about a supposed romance between him and some actress he’d met only once the past month. He stood next to her, but they’d chopped out the other half of the photo. The telling portion showing who stood close on her other side. He’d sworn to keep Maggie’s secret, and he would no matter what. He had admitted it to Phoebe while in the sinkhole in a desperate attempt to keep her awake, but doubted she had any recollection of it now.

“I assure you, there’s nothing going on between me and that woman,” he said. He could see Phoebe didn’t entirely believe him, leaving him in an awkward position. “I’m not her type.”

She lifted her eyebrows. “So you admit to at least
trying
?”

No, it hadn’t even occurred to him to try anything. Not with Phoebe always in his thoughts, and considering who the actress had actually been with at the benefit auction, he would’ve never crossed that line. “No, Phoebe, I didn’t try, because I’ve had someone else on my mind. A woman I don’t know that I deserve, but I’m going to try really hard to prove otherwise.”

Her eyes widened and her anger withered. He didn’t dare believe he saw his own hope reflecting in the depths of her brown gaze.

“It’s too soon to talk like that, Jonathon,” she said, moving her attention back to her blanket. He watched her fingers trace the floral design.

He licked his lips. Phoebe was right, it was too soon.
But we had all that time on the island. We survived the sinkhole. We have a daughter.

He’d thought he’d fallen for her while waiting for her to recover in the hospital, but what did he feel now? Fear, confusion, longing, but did those add up to love? She made up nearly every waking moment of his life, but was it love or infatuation?

“We were thrown together under impossible circumstances, even beyond what the show producers had planned,” she went on. “And that can breed feelings which aren’t true. What we…” She cleared her throat. “What
you
may think you feel, if it’s anything beyond physical attraction, is probably temporary.”

Wise words to consider, but a few sentences didn’t even begin to cover his ramble of emotions.

Sarah appeared in the bedroom, giving Jonathon her curious gaze.

“Mom, can I have some cookies?” she asked.

Jonathon grinned.

“You can have one, Sarah,” Phoebe replied.

She looked to her mom and said a thank you before she stared at Jonathon. “What kind of music do you like?” she asked him.

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I like lots of music. Even opera.” He winked and she giggled.

“Opera? Grandma took me to an opera once.” She feigned a shiver that made Jonathon laugh. “Grandma is a famous singer. Have you ever heard of Cybil Heart?”

“I have,” he replied.

She reached out, and to his surprise, took his hand. “Come listen to music with me. My favorite singer is Mikey Mike. He’s
awesome
.”

Jonathon shot a glance at Phoebe. She appeared uncomfortable. “Now, Sarah, I’m not sure if Mikey Mike is Jonathon’s cup of tea.”

“Is he the boy on the radio now?”
The one with the cracking post-pubescent voice?

“Yes, isn’t he fantastic? I own all his stuff.” She tried to tug him forward.

He peered back at Phoebe. Distrust shown in her concerned eyes, and her hands balled on her lap.

“Can I have a minute more with your mom?”

Sarah pursed her lips in a pout that mirrored Maggie’s before she released his hand and trotted back out.

“She’s never known a stranger,” Phoebe said after Sarah got her cookie then her bedroom door clicked closed. “Can you see why I’m so careful? I’ve always had a suspicious mind when it came to people I didn’t know, but Sarah is open with everyone.”

“She’s incredible.” While his feelings for Phoebe were confused and clouded, he felt certain he needed no more time to fall for this little girl.
His
little girl. Perhaps Sarah hadn’t been handed to him as a squalling newborn gripping his thumb, but she’d taken his hand with nothing but absolute trust in her eyes. Had he honestly had much more preparation than any other new dad? One day you’re on your own, the next you’re viewing yourself in a child’s face.

He felt a profound shift. He’d missed eleven years of her life, and he wanted to make up for lost time. An overwhelming need leaving him weak in the knees with its impact.

A terrible guitar solo sounded from Sarah’s room, and he winced. Phoebe chuckled. “Mikey Mike is eye candy for the girls, but God he’s
terrible
. I’ve listened to this album every day for months.”

He didn’t care what music Sarah liked, he’d endure anything if it made her happy. “Do you mind if I spend some time with her?” he asked Phoebe. “Just she and I? Within your boundaries, of course.”

“Do you see how easily she could be hurt?”

Jonathon wanted to put her mind at ease. He went to her bedside and dropped to his knees. He peered up into her worried eyes and took her hand between his.

“I swear I’d never do anything to hurt Sarah. I’ll be careful, and I won’t breathe a word about who I am. That’ll be up to you, because she’ll have questions only you can answer.” Then, on impulse, he brushed his lips over her knuckles. He heard her quick intake of breath, saw the stirring in her eyes. He wanted to keep hold of her. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss away her insecurities. Her cast loomed in his peripheral vision, and the thought evaporated.

“Okay then.” She pulled her hand from his. “But not too much at a time. She’s smart and picks up on things pretty quickly.”

With that he left Phoebe and walked to Sarah’s door. He swiped his damp palms on his jeans before knocking on the girl’s bedroom door.
What kind of impression will I make on her?
He wanted to be a cool dad. Someone Sarah would respect but wouldn’t be embarrassed by in front of her friends. She was almost a teenager, and he remembered what he thought of adults as a teen.

Her door opened, and she stared up to him with a wide smile. He walked into her room, and she handed him a cookie. “I got one for you also. I made them all by myself.”

Jonathon took a bite of the oatmeal cookie. Overly sweet and dried out, but it was the best cookie he’d ever eaten.

Chapter 22

What am I doing?
Phoebe listened to Sarah’s happy, non-stop chatter. From time to time Jonathon would respond to something she said, or laugh. His rich, masculine voice sounded misplaced in her house. Outside of a few friends, she’d never had a man over. The dates she’d had over the years had been kept away from Sarah.

What am I doing allowing him to stay here?
Her thigh itched beneath her cast, her fingers nervously balled the blanket on her lap. She was stuck in bed with no way to hover over Jonathon and Sarah. She needed to make sure he didn’t say the wrong thing. She couldn’t trust him, he was a stranger.

But he was so gentle with me on the island. He comforted me in the sinkhole, and he gave me the only water we had. He could’ve died trying to keep me alive. Doesn’t that say a lot about him?
She chewed her bottom lip and did the only thing she could do—listen.

Lunch time rolled around. She heard Sarah’s bedroom door open then close. Jonathon poked his head into her room. “I’m going to fix us some lunch,” he said. “No fires this time.”

He winked and left, whistling.

“Sarah,” she called out.

Her daughter appeared. “Homework?” Phoebe asked. “Let’s see it.”

Sarah disappeared then returned, holding up her math and English books. “Math is finished. I have some English to do.”

“Okay, I want it done by tomorrow night,” Phoebe said.

“I promise. Jonathon is nice. Is he your boyfriend?”

Phoebe’s mouth fell open then snapped shut. “W-why would you say that? I mean, what makes you think he’d be my boyfriend?”

Sarah lifted her shoulder. “I don’t know, because he’s so nice I guess. It’s okay if he’s your boyfriend, Mom. I like him.”

Phoebe looked up. Jonathon stood in the doorway.
Had he heard?
Judging by his grin he had. She kept a neutral expression. “No, sweetie, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s only my friend who will be here a few days.”

“Yes,” Jonathon said, “and I was going to ask if you’d like me to run into town and grab a pizza. I remember promising your mother pizza once upon a time.”

Sarah squealed and clapped her hands. “Can we have pizza, Mom?”

Phoebe blew out a breath. “I guess we don’t have much of a choice. As long as Jonathon’s car doesn’t get stuck in the mud again.”

Jonathon rubbed his hands together. “Great, let me take everyone’s order.”

That afternoon found them scattered around Phoebe’s bedroom having a pizza party complete with a newly released kid’s movie starring Mikey Mike himself. Sarah had grown attached to Jonathon in the hours he’d been there and sat close to his side on a pile of blankets on the floor. The two of them had built a rapport which left Phoebe both uncomfortable and a bit pleased.

At least in her room she could monitor them, though Jonathon seemed completely at ease with Sarah. Then again he’d told Phoebe he had a bunch of nieces and nephews, so he’d be no stranger to kids. She couldn’t imagine life in a big family like Jonathon’s, but she couldn’t deny it sounded nice to have so many people you could rely on. Despite Phoebe’s independence she felt bad Sarah didn’t have more relatives to grow up with.
She does have relatives though. Everyone in Jonathon’s family is Sarah’s family too.

Phoebe sat up straighter. What would they think of the granddaughter of wild Cybil Heart? Or the fact Phoebe had kept Sarah hidden from Jonathon for eleven years. She might’ve kept Sarah away from him indefinitely if
Paradise
hadn’t thrown them together. Seeing Jonathon and Sarah together, laughing, and talking about how “awesome” Mikey Mike was even though Jonathon winced every time the boy hit a high note, sent guilt through her. Maybe she had been misguided and selfish all those years.

No, I was being cautious and protective.

Afternoon wore on into evening. Sarah retreated to her room and the internet, leaving Jonathon and Phoebe alone with leftover pizza.

“She’s really amazing,” Jonathon said, sitting on the floor and leaning back against the chair. “I can’t believe how smart that kid is.”

Pride swelled in her heart. “And in math of all things. She can do algebra that leaves me struggling and scratching my head. She’s getting interested in mechanics too. I’m thinking engineering might be her field.”

Jonathon let out a low whistle and stretched his legs out, crossing his ankles, adopting the position he’d used on the island. “I wasn’t the greatest in math, though my dad is good at it. Maybe she got the gene from him.”