Authors: Kate J Squires
But as my gaze lifted, I saw figures running up the beach. âOh, God,
no!
'
Tanner paused, turned and noticing the incoming crew. âDammit ⦠Okay, plan B, then.'
âWhat's plan B?'
âI'll tell you at lunch.'
***
Looking around at the humble fare I'd organised for our meal, my cheeks flushed in embarrassment. âIt's not as fancy as Japanese, I'm sorry.'
Tanner looked up from where he lounged on the tartan picnic rung. Lunch was on a high cliff top overlooking the ocean, and the wind caught his sandy hair as it danced around us. âDon't be sorry! Lord, I've missed this stuffâit's like bein' home again.'
Relaxing slightly, I reached for a hunk of cornbread. Knowing how much Tanner used to love the simple things, I'd requested some Texan staplesâfried chicken, beans and a pecan pieâbut after all of his revelations the day before, I'd almost cancelled everything.
Studying him, I asked, âDo you miss home?'
âI do. I love to travel, but at the end of the day, I need to know my land is still there, waitin' for me.' He cast his eyes out over the horizon, as if he could catch a glimpse of home if he stared long enough. âWhat about you, Miss Maddie? Do you ever think of Texas?'
âWithout sounding weird ⦠all the time.' I averted my gaze, suddenly hot with the honesty of my admission. âI learned a relaxation technique when I was in college, to help me cope with the stress, and you had to picture yourself in your special place.'
I closed my eyes, falling into my well-practiced visualisation. Suddenly, I was in a dusty field, under a corn-blue sky. âFor me, that was always somewhere on your land ⦠Somewhere with you â¦'
With the cameras watching, Tanner crawled over to me and kissed me deeply. He tasted of home, of those connections that could never be broken. Tanner said, âYou're
my
special place, Maddie-girl.'
âAnd you're my sunset, Cowboy.'
I slid between Tanner's thighs and leaned back against his broad chest, feeling the rise and fall of his contented breathing. âI had to admit, I was getting worried there. Yesterday, all day, I kept finding out things about you I didn't know, like the school lunch thing, and Japan.'
âWait ⦠how much of yesterday were you around for?'
Gulp.
âUh ⦠pretty much all of it?'
âMaddie, did you set the fire alarm off yesterday?'
I leaned forward and buried my head in my hands in burning shame. âYes.'
âAnd the baby outfit, too?'
âYes.'
âAnd the wrong movie?'
âYes! Yes, it was all me! Well, I had some help, but still â¦' I awaited my fate, now it was all out.
But rather than yell or cuss, Tanner burst into gales of laughter, wrapping his legs and arms around me. âOh my, Miss Maddie! You're a wild one, aren't you?'
He pinched my sides lightly, tickling me, and I fell apart in giggles too. âI'm sorry! I was a little crazy yesterday.'
We wrestled gently, rolling to the soft blanket, with the smell of the sea surrounding us, finally coming to rest with me on top of him. â
You
make me crazy,' I told him, kissing his nose.
âThen I'm partly to blame too, I guess.'
I laid my head down, tucking under his chin, while Tanner caressed my hair in languid strokes. I could almost forget there were millions of people bearing witness to our private moment as I said, âI wish we could just stay like this.'
âWe have today,' I heard him murmur. âIt's not enough, but it's what we have.'
âYou're right. And I have a pretty special night planned for us too.'
âHey, Maddie? I want to ask you something â¦' His voice had turned serious and hesitant. I let my legs fall to either side of him and knelt up over him, cowgirl style. He rubbed my thighs delicately and said, âAfter our date tonight, will you stay with me, in my cabin? I want every minute possible with you in my arms.'
The flare of desire in his eyes was enough to tell me we wouldn't be doing much sleeping if I said yes.
So, this is plan B â¦
I paused. Of course I wanted to; just thinking about spending a night under the covers with him was enough to have a cold sheen of sweat break out on my skin.
A boom operator coughed, and we both turned instinctively towards the reminder that whatever we did would be seen by the world. I wanted Tanner so badly my body ached, but I couldn't have sex on international television. What if every future employer of mine watched the show? What if my kids and grandkids stumbled upon the footage in years to come? How could I even deal with every random supermarket clerk giving me a knowing nod every time I bought condoms?
I spoke slowly. âI'll stay. Just to sleep though, okay? I haven't fallen asleep in your arms in a very long time, and I miss it so much, so as long as that's all we do ⦠I'll stay.'
Even as the words left me, I could feel my body responding to him against my willâmy lips parting and ready for his, my nipples growing taut and reaching towards him, my needy core suspended above him, immediately warm and damp.
Tanner saw it, and he grinned wickedly. âOkay, cowgirl. If you can keep your hands off all of this'âhe jokingly indicated his marble-cut bodyââI'll be good too.'
âI'll have you know, I have excellent self-control, thank you,' I said, reaching across his body for a sticky slice of pecan pie and taking a gigantic mouthful. I spoke through the crumbs. âI am a practically a paragon of virtue.'
We both laughed, the sound echoing away over the water, and for a few sunny moments, all was perfect in the world.
Back in my cabin that night, I played gently with my barrel curls in front of the mirror, courtesy of Mama Ruby. I'd chatted with a production assistant earlier and everything was tracking well for the night ahead. Now, all I had to do was survive having my makeup done, and the rest of the evening should be a cinch.
As if I'd summoned her by mere thought, Natalie stomped through my door. âYou.'
âMe.' I wondered if it was best to just be upfront with the savage makeup artist; after all, she couldn't hate me any more than she already did. âNatalie, can we not do this tonight?'
âWhat?' she asked, slamming a small kit of brushes and colours on the small table in my living room.
âThe whole bitchy thing. I know I've been a pain in your arse, but I am sorry, and look!' I passed her a shoebox I'd managed to procure from Ricky.
She opened it with a neutral expression, inspecting the replacement pair of heels and a new round brush. The brush had been the best quality one I could find on eBay that would deliver to our last port, and Ricky assured me the diamante-studded Mollini stilettos were âbetter than that skank could afford even if she'd landed a gig as the false lash expert on a drag queen show.
âI'm sorry,' I said again, really trying. âI hate being here, and it's only bearable because of the people I've been able to connectâ'
âFor fuck's sake!' Natalie exploded, dropping the box. âDo you even hear yourself, bitch? You just don't get it.'
âThen explain it to me! I'm so sick of all this reality bullshit when nobody says what they actually mean. What is your problem?'
âYou!' She whirled on me, fierce and unpredictable. âYou swan on board last minute, like it ain't no big deal, then you score a role, and all you do is complain. You're an ungrateful ho and you don't even know it.'
That stopped me. She was actually right. I'd been given a job and a place to sleep when I had none, and I'd only been reacting with ingratitude. I'd been given multiple second chances with Tanner, despite my numerous attempts at self-sabotage, and I hadn't really stopped to give thanks for that either.
I watched Natalie quietly for a few moments while she mixed a primer with a liquid foundation, and something else occurred to me. âYou auditioned for the show, didn't you?'
Her magenta lips clenched at the corners. She grabbed for my chin and began to slop colour on me. âOf course I did. I'm not a foolâdo you know how many careers the first show kick-started? I'm a thousand times more interesting than any of you bitches, but at least the other nine actually want to be here! Like Callie. That girl is worth ten of you!'
By this stage, she was brandishing a wicked-looking eyeliner to my lower lids. It seemed prudent to stay still and silent.
âI even had to bust my ass getting this jobâI called in every favour I had and then some, just so I could paint the faces of ungrateful bitches like you, for the smallest chance that someone â¦' For a horrifying moment, she looked close to tears, then she seemed to suck the emotion back into herself and said, âthat someone might finally realise how awesome I am and what they're missing out on.'
âNatalie ⦠I'm sorry.'
âDon't be. Just shut up and let me work.'
So I sat meekly in the chair, allowing her to craft me into a vision of smoky dark eyes and glossy beige lips. She might have been angry, but she was still a master-craftswoman.
After she'd swept out, I stepped into the full-length playsuit that had been placed on my bed. The black material draped in soft waves around my legs, while the low, low neckline dipped alarmingly between my naked breasts. A simple silver necklace trailed down my collarbones, with a playful horseshoe charm attached to the bottom. I strode out of the room on cobalt-blue heels, fashion-forward and ready to face my biggest challenge yet: meeting Tanner's friends.
Dinner was being served in the ballroom on the top deck, a soaring space with a vaulted glass roof, but I'd asked Tanner to meet me on the bow of the level below. I leaned against the railing, two parts excited for the evening ahead, and one part vomity with nerves.
âHey, cowgirl.' Warm arms wrapped around my waist. I leaned back into his embrace, my skin dancing in delight from the warmth of his breath on my neck and his fingers interlaced around the smooth lines of my tummy.
âHey yourself, cowboy.' Twisting inside the circle of his arms, I took a good look at him, drinking him in with my eyes. In his dark grey button-down and black jeans, he was elegant and relaxed. No hat, so his hair shifted in the warm ocean air, mussing it in the most wonderful way. âAre you hungry?'
âYes,' he said, leaning into me and nibbling at my earlobe.
As I giggled, I heard someone whisper, âMake sure you get that.' My luminous mood broke as I cut a hard look at the intrusive camera crew who'd followed Tanner.
Without even looking at my face, he knew. âIgnore them,' he murmured gently, his thumbs rubbing lazy circles on my hips.
âIt's hard when they're so noisy and annoying and stupid and ineptâ' I caught myself doing exactly what Natalie had berated me forâbeing ungrateful for what was actually a magic moment. I rallied. âI'm glad you're hungryâthere's a pretty special dinner waiting upstairs for you.'
âLead on, pretty lady.'
A narrow staircase stretched between the decks, with metal risers and railings. I began to skip up the stairs, giddy with the thought of surprise ahead. As he followed me, Tanner reached out a cheeky hand and squeezed my backside.
I squeaked in mock outrage, lifting my hand from the cool rail to swipe at him behind my back. I should have known with the combination of my luck and coordination, anything even slightly adventurous on a staircase was sure to end in tears.
One of my ankles gave way under me as I over-balanced to my left. Flailing, I tried to grab for the railing again, but missed by a mile. I began to topple backwards, feeling everything move in slow motion around me as I pictured with total clarity what would happen next.
I'll break all four limbs in horrendous compound fractures that stick out through the skin like grotesque tent-poles. Maxine will have me booted from the ship, airlifted to an unsanitary island hospital where I'll contract sepsis and die. Callie will comfort Tanner in his grief, then dump him after my televised funeral.
Fortunately, Tanner caught me neatly in his arms. â
Oof!
Gotcha, Maddie-girl!'
Shaky, I clutched at his shirt. âOh my God! That would have been so bad. I told you I'm unlucky.'
âAnd I told you, darlin', I'm all the luck you need.' He kissed the tip of my nose, his dark eyes sparkling. âI promise, Miss Maddie, I'll catch you every time you fall.'
âI believe you.'
We kissed on the staircase, a long, languid kiss coloured with the promise of things to come, while the cameras rolled and the world watched on.
Eventually, I pulled free. âWe have to go.'
âOkay.' His voice was laced with humour. âDo you need a piggy-back the rest of the way?'
âNo, thank you. Just keep your hands off my butt!'
âNo promises â¦'
Giggling like drunk teens, we finally reached the ballroom, where four people I'd never met before looked up from a long dining table. âBeau!'
âOh my
Lord!
' Tanner's face fell slack with shock as he assimilated the presence of his friends from around the globe. âWhat the hell are you guys all doing here?'
âWe came to see you, you crazy cow-fucker!' A tiny Japanese girl with a baby on her hip powered forward. She shifted the infant to make room as she hugged Tanner with a ferocity that was both admirable and terrifying. âHow the fuck are you, dude?'
âClara! I'm good, darlin'. Good to see you.'
âShut up, fucker, I know it.' Her grin was bright with confident delight, her filthy mouth at odds with her angelic looks. âAnd look who else I brought along for the fucking ride.'
A lithe Australian girl with a silky fall of blonde hair stepped up. âHey, Beau.'
He hugged her in a brotherly fashion. âTara! And, Lars? Or Loris?'